I don't own DN, it belongs to Obata and Obha sensei
I just wrote the story, don't sue me.
Have fun reading.
WARNING: large amount of swearing, be careful I'm not at fault
" " - Watari speaking out loud
' ' - L speaking out loud
Italics-L thinking
* * - Either Watari thinking or time passing
* - Something important at bottom
- Light speaking
- light thinking( 2 lines and italics)
I'm running out of ways to show people talking...damn
Chapter 4: Light is Such a Bitch pt.2
Light was now in his house, on his couch, in his gaudy fashionable clothes, with his legs crossed, and talking about himself…..too much. If you could stare directly at L's face you could see it twitch, and twitch it did. For Light was recalling why Misa had kicked him out. In. Excruciating. Detail.
- And she was all, how dare you try, actually try, to out-fashion me during my dinner night. Do you know how important this night was to me.-
Twitch.
- And then she started yelling about how I purposely chose clothes that did not match her attire in a flattering way-
Twitch*.
- And-and then, she starts screaming about me being jealous of her figure and her modeling career just because I couldn't get an agent to notice me when I was younger. And now that I had her I was deliberately planning to sabotage her life, and make her this old, fat, stay at home mom while I went out and had a life.-
Twitch.
Twitch.
Twitch.
Twitch.
Twitch.
Twitch.
Twitch.
Twitch.
Dear God, JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!
- And all the time I'm trying to stay calm and not point out the many flaws in her thought process, but seriously she can be soo shrill, and-
' Light, let's skip ahead a little, for the sake of repairing the issue in a much quicker way, and getting you back home soon as can be'. For the sake of my own sanity, please just drop dead. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it,
do it, do it, do it, do it, pleeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee...
' Now, can you tell me in precise, exact words, what it was you said that sent her over the edge and, ended with you sitting on my couch'. More of a demand than a question, still it did not deter the boy from continuing his tale.
-Hmmm... well I think it was after I finally had it with her yelling, and I started screaming back. It's kinda a blur, but I remember us yelling vulgarities and then I think she yelled something about my figure and then I ended up calling her ugly. So she slapped me, hard, and pushed me out the door and chucked the keys at my head.-
HA! Even your wife hates you. You're useless, pathetic, unwanted! Go become a hermit, move far far away from me and take you're weirdness with you, you'll be doing us all a favor.
'Well now I believe we're getting somewhere, how about-'
-But I don't think it's that big a deal-
Umm... I was speaking. Ya know the guy, over on this half of the couch, on vacation*. The one whose house you invaded with your "issues". But by all mean interrupt me with your crap, while I patiently sit over here and wait for my brain to commit suicide.
- I think it's just her having one of her days-
Ugh
- I mean everyone has them eventually-
Stop
- Even I've had bad days before-
Shut up
- Not as bad as that mind you-*
I don't want to listen to this
-Still I don't believe it's my fault, completely-
I can't hear you
- I mean she didn't warn me about any of it, she just said we'd be having people over then- -
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA*
-All throughout dinner she kept glaring at me while I made witty conversation with our guests-
Witty my ass, you wouldn't know a witty conversation if it raped you, you'd probably think it was mild or boring.*
-I just wish she was a more temper mental person-
Stop bitching...
- It's just so hard to deal with when she yells so horribly-
Biiiiiiiiittttttttcccchhhhhhh
- Plus she had no idea what she was saying, I have a wonderful sense in style-
Gay.
- And the clothes I wore would have matched anything she wore because they were a wonderful Italian black satin suit with a pressed white business shirt of pure 100% cotton, a matching silk tie, and my brand new Armani shoes-
!*
- I think she slightly hates me for making a good impression on them, I don't see why, but she might-
Arright, that's it you Abercrombie & Fitch bitch*. I'm fixing this right now, so that your crappy weird...self, can't mutilate what's left of my brain from this conversation.
'Shut up!'
( Awkward silence)
'Look here's what you're going to do to fix this.'
-But why should I- -
'No, no backtalk. Ok, you chose to continue the fight by reply against her instead of agreeing with her. Ergo you're here and not at home, and she's probably out spending your* money to make herself feel better. So now I'm going to give you a plan to act out to get back on her good side and hopefully save some money.'
And get you out of my house
(one ingenious plan later)*
L was sitting comfortably on his couch, alone. After talking Light through the plan's steps over cellphones, repeatedly, he had finally gotten him back into his house. Now he could try to accomplish the original reason behind his vacation, trying to relax. He shifted himself around until he was comfortable and was about to turn the tv back on form some mind numbing distraction when-
*Ring, ring, ring*
L changed his path from the remote to the phone and hesitantly picked up.*
'Hello?'
- Hello L-
WHAT THE FUCK! Didn't I just get rid of you 10 minutes* ago!
- Look, I was just calling to thank you for all the help you gave me today-
Come on, come on, hang up I'm sick of you.
- Especially since it was on your first day on vacation-
I'm not retarded! I know what day it was, is, screw you!
- I gotta hand it to you the giant teddy bear was and awesome idea, you should have seen the goo-goo eyes she made when she saw it-
I bet you made them too when you first saw it
- The flowers were superfluous -
Ooh, big man using a big word*
- They were beautiful, and smelled so sweet -
Here we go again, gaaayyyyyyy
- Candy is an idea that was slightly over done, but it worked out wonderfully, she didn't even mention the cliché-ness -
Oh, you bastard, and don't think I don't know you stole half the box of candy for yourself you candy stealin' good-for-nothing*
- The sorry balloon is what saved my ass the most I think-
You and your ass are welcome, NOW STOP CALLING ME!
- So aside from me taking away some of your valuable time, how's your vacation going so far? -
'The vacation is going fine. I'm enjoying a wonderful TV special about life as scientist thought it was like back millions of years beforehand*. '
- Wow, that sounds pretty interesting, so- -
'Um, Light, not to be uncaring or anything, I'm just curious as to why you are choosing to speak to me, while you worked so hard to get back to your wife and house. '
- Oh, man I've been going on for a while. Sorry, I guess time got away from me. Well, once again thank you for helping me out, and I promise to call you later to liven up your vacation. Bye. -
'If you say so Light, goodbye'
Oh, dear God please don't let him call me back, PLEASE! If you do, I promise to spend more money, about 12% of my yearly earnings on orphanages and charities and less on candy. I swear!
That night L lay in his king sized bed, unable to relax*. He was on his right side glaring at the phone next to his intercom. His paranoia making it hard for him to unwrap his mind from the thought of Light calling, again.
Unfortunately that is how he spent the rest of the night, of the first day of his vacation.
Da End ... of this chapter
Arright so it's a day later but at least it's done.
Hope ya like it, more characters are coming soon.
Important notes ( I still haven't gotten an answer if these are important or not )
1*. L is twitching out of pure hate.
2*. L may not enjoy his forced upon vacation. But he is not above using it as an excuse to ditch people he doesn't want to be around.
3*. Light's bad days aren't as bad as hers. In my opinion they're a kajillion times worse.
4*. The la-la's are getting louder and louder until they drown out Light, which is practically impossible, even in your mind. He has this annoying voice that bypasses all your defenses and pierces your brain.
5*. Ya all know the old saying " you wouldn't know _ if it came and bit you in the ass" or whatever, so this is L's annoyed version of that concerning Light... and his butt... ( I'm high on caffeine I don't know what I'm saying )
6*. L is screaming what would be anyone's thought's if they heard Light explain his clothing style.
7*. I've been DYING to use this line ever since I thought of it.
8*. This is what I've noticed about a good percentage of females, when they are pissed they usually go out and spend their husbands money to make themselves feel better, and subconsciously piss him the hell off. I'm sure Misa would do the same.
9*. I felt the plan was unneeded (is that a word) an explanation, since it's a simple plan, quickly thought of, and it was explained in the lower dialogue so I skipped it. (YAY, laziness, it's true Sunday is Lazy bones day)
10*. 'Tis the phone
11*. He didn't actually get rid of him in 10 minutes, but it was like an hour or so ago but still that is too soon to be calling someone who you just saw.
12*. It's not a big word, it jsut falls into the fancy words category so, it's kinda Light's ego showing up in a regular conversation.
13*. I'm pretty damn sure that Light snuck some candy from L's candy table when he thought L wasn't looking, well L is always looking 0.0
14*. He lies, always. Sometimes in necessity, or boredom, or in this case when he has nothing to say.
15*. He can't relax on this vacation anyway, and now this is just making it worse by taking away his last couple of minutes of sleep, it's the only sleep he ever gets.
***********************************************************************************************Just some side info, I won't be uploading for a couple of weeks maybe, maybe, cuz I got a vid to finish for a friend on YouTube, then I have two more vids, which are shorter by five minutes to do for my cousin and one left over from last year.
Then I just got an account on Deviant art so I'll be posting two pictures up soon.
Wish me luck and don't be lonely I'll be back soon! :)