Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Shonda does!

It's now eight in the evening on her watch and Arizona bounces on her seat as she waits excitedly for Callie. They agreed to just meet up at this part of the airport since Callie still had to talk to one of her professors before boarding the plane that will take them to Malawi.

She smiles at the thought of them together. In Malawi.

Two months ago, after finishing her residency at Massachusetts General, she received the profound honor of being personally handpicked by Dr. Stark to assist him in spearheading global initiatives for the improvement of pediatric surgery in some developing countries. This was after he was awarded the Carter Madison Grant - something he applied for a couple of years ago. He was given the leeway to choose one assistant and despite their differences, he knew there's only one person for the job - Arizona Robbins.

It took Arizona a couple of minutes to call her parents and internally do a happy dance before she deflated at the thought of the repercussions of joining the initiative. It's a dream come true - yes - but it would also entail moving to Malawi for at least two years. Ergo, moving there would mean leaving Callie behind. Torn, she wasted no time and talked to Callie about it as soon as her shift ended.

It turned out that she will have less to worry about. At least the 'leaving Callie behind' part.

In an earlier game, Callie suffered an anterior cruciate injury - leaving her out of commission for her upcoming summer break and about six more months into her Junior year playing season. Callie pointed out that the injury's a blessing in disguise after all - with the both of them coming up with a 'brilliant' schedule that will make the separation a tad bit bearable. Callie will use her summer vacation to join Arizona in Malawi, then fly back for the start of her third academic year. Callie managed to book a hotel room about an hour from the site and will be staying there all throughout her time in Malawi. Dr. Stark authorized Arizona's request for some vacation time every three months (he agreed on a 10-day quarterly vacation) - and though it wasn't much, Callie and her both knew that it was already generous, given the situation.

With another smile, Arizona checks on her and Callie's plane tickets (something she insisted on holding since Calliope is such a disorganized person that Arizona's pretty sure she'll misplace their tickets) and travel documents and beams when she saw them again. She still can't believe that she's gotten this chance to do what she loves to do and share it with Callie.

"Robbins, we're checking in in 10. Where's your companion?" Arizona jumped at the sound of Stark's voice.

"She'll be here any minute now, Dr. Stark. She just had to do something -."

"I don't care what she's doing. She was supposed to be here an hour ago." He cut her off grumpily before walking away from her again. Sighing in frustration, she fished out her phone and texted Calliope that she needed to hurry. Five minutes later, Arizona spotted Callie coming towards her.

"Oh thank goodness you're here!" Arizona grabs Callie by the wrist as she started ranting about how bitchy Stark has been the moment they arrived at the airport. "Where's your luggage Calliope? We need to go now if we don't want to miss our flight. Stark will kill us if we're a second late."

"It's in my apartment."

"You're kidding, right? How could you forget your stuff? You know what? Forget it. You have your money, right? Just buy some clothes there. Come on, we're going to miss our flight if you don't move your butt now."

Callie looked at Arizona, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. The words that left her mouth weren't the ones that the doctor was expecting, "You're gonna miss your flight, Arizona…"

Arizona stood there, shocked, Callie's words not yet sinking in. When they did, she gripped Callie's hand tighter and searched her face for any sign of mischief. "What are you saying? Come on, Calliope. This is not time for one of your practical jokes again. We need to go. Come on." She forcefully dragged Callie, but she can only do so much given their difference in strength.

"You're going to miss your flight if you don't go now Arizona…" Callie repeated, removing Arizona grasp on her hand.

"I'm not kidding here, Calliope!" Arizona glared at her girlfriend, still convinced that the taller woman's playing another one of her games.

"Neither am I, Arizona. I'm not coming." Callie whispered, moving Arizona's huge luggage so it's right beside the doctor.

"Hey..." Arizona decided to change her approach. "We've discussed this, Calliope." She mumbled gently. "Besides, you've already paid for your room. And you've seen Malawi in pictures, you told me you're dying to go to those places." She flashed her dimples, sure that it would have the desired effect on Callie.

"I can't come, Arizona. I'm so sorry." Callie's reply was short and blunt - it caught Arizona by surprise.

"Why?" Arizona asked, desperation evident in her voice. She clutched Callie's hand, harder this time that she was sure that she was already hurting her girlfriend. But she can't make herself let go or loosen her grip for fear that she might truly lose Callie.

"I have lots of things to do here and you have your own thing to do in Malawi -."

"I don't understand. I don't understand what you're saying Calliope!"

"I'll just ruin Malawi for you -."

"No, you won't! What the hell, Callie?!"

"I will."

"You are not making any sense! The words that are coming out of your mouth are stupid! They don't make any sense at all!"

"I just don't want to come with you, okay?" Callie spat, her voice quivering as she looked anywhere but Arizona.

"You're lying! You were so excited, Calliope! Tell me why? Why the sudden change of heart?" Arizona stomped her foot, not caring if it made her look like a bratty child. Callie's obviously lying.

"I'm so sorry, Arizona."

"I love you, Calliope. Please, don't do this," Arizona begged and cried. This can't be happening.

"I'm so sorry..." Callie repeated being she grabbed Arizona's hand and placed it on the luggage handle.

"If you don't get in that damn plane, Calliope, we are done. Do you hear me? We are over." Arizona threatened. She ran out of words to say to convince Callie to come to the trip with her. Threatening her was the last weapon she knew she could use.

Surely, Callie loved her so much she can't bear the thought of them breaking up, right?

"I'm so sorry, Arizona..." Callie grabbed Arizona's face and kissed her forcefully before walking away.

/

With a start, Arizona wakes up with a start from a dead sleep, breathing heavily, drenched in sweat, and tangled up in sheets. She clamps her hand over her mouth and looked around the room. Realizing she's alone, she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to get her breathing under control and to refocus her mind. It's been years since she had dreamed of that. She was positive that she wouldn't dream of it again since it stopped about two years ago. Apparently, she's wrong. Without thinking she reaches out her other hand, grabbed the bottle of water sitting on her bedside table and downed its contents.

/

Later that day

Time can do wonders; and to a certain extent, we all know that from experience. But Arizona also learned that time can trick you into thinking you don't need something anymore. It can numb the desire; even convince you that you don't really need it. And sometimes it does that by giving you other things to think about; to need. It may not necessarily be better things, but yeah, easier things. Things that, unlike what you truly needed, you can get. Time doesn't always make you let go of something. Sometimes, all it does is fool you into thinking it's gone when really, it's just waiting for you find it again.

At this point, it's already too late in the game. Arizona could not just pretend that she didn't see Callie again. She chuckles at that thought because really, she freaking visits her from time to time. So yeah, she realizes that no matter what she does, there's no deciding if she will let Callie back into her life because Callie already walked (rolled) in on her own when it was least expected. And whether Arizona likes it or not, Callie is here. And despite everything, she can't help the smile that crawls across her lips because Callie, for all her naughtiness and crassness, has always been a tad bit dramatic. She loves making an entrance, and now that she thinks about it, it's exactly the kind of entrance Callie would make.

And as she finds herself back to that hallway, she nods to herself. She knows she's not here to pick a fight. Nor put the blame on her. She just wants the answers she never got five years ago.

Before she even got to the room though, its door opens, and out came a couple of young girls (between ages 5-8) with what she could guess as their parents, each holding a soccer ball.

"Bye Callie-Idol!" The little girls wave before giddily walking down the hall. Arizona peeks her head at the door, and smiled in relief when she sees that it's only Callie and Miranda inside. As soon as Miranda sees her, Callie's agent beams.

"Oh thank God you're here. Can I leave her to you for a few minutes? I'll just grab something to eat..." Miranda mumbles sheepishly.

"Oh please, Bailey! What am I? Five? You don't need to ask anybody to watch over me." Callie whines, but Miranda opts to ignore her.

"I'll be back in no time!" And with that, Miranda's out of the room, leaving Callie and Arizona all alone.

"So..." Arizona trails on. "How are you feeling?" She decides to start out gently. Callie looks at her intently before darting her gaze at her hands.

"You want answers." Callie mutters, frowning.

"I'm sorry?"

"You're pretty easy to read, Arizona." Callie breathes out, still not looking at Arizona. "I don't know how it would matter now."

"I just want to know why. I want to understand what you were saying then."

"I don't know what you want me to say here, Arizona." Callie sighs, looking tired. Which she must really be, seeing as she had allowed all the children waiting outside the hospital to come inside her room for a quick visit. "All I know is that, it needed to happen."

"Breaking my heart needed to happen?" Arizona gasps, surprised to hear those words.

"I broke my heart that night too." Arizona slumps on the couch and groaned in frustration.

"What was your deal, Callie? There was that part of you that I never really understood no matter how much I've tried. I didn't understand your reasoning at times." She watches as Callie shifts in her bed, finally looking at her.

"I got scared."

"Bullshit. You don't get scared."

"It's true though. Listen, Arizona. I want you to understand that there is no one factor that caused me to do that...that thing...that night. It's a combination of a lot of things and I won't be sitting here and telling you the part that involved other people -." Arizona's ears perked up at those those seemingly irrelevant words.

"Wait, wait. Other people? There were other people involved? Did you -."

"Never. Never, Arizona. There was no one else. I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what do you mean -." Callie holds up her hand to cut Arizona.

"It's not important. What's important is that I was slowing you down."

"I don't understand."

"Just listen. And try to understand. I'm trying here. You know I suck at words. But I'm going to try. Okay?"

"Alright."

Callie lets out a deep breath before going back to her point. "I never knew what love was before you, Arizona. I never felt it. Not even when I was growing up. And when you never know how something feels, there's that irrational fear of when that time comes. As cliche as it sounds, it's true. There's that fear. Some people push others away and build up these walls. Me? I did it differently. The constant teasing?"

"That's your facade."

"I wouldn't really call it that, because, let's be honest, I'm really like that. But maybe, to a certain extent, I do use it to deflect."

"I know. That's why I don't really get too offended when you 'verbally abuse' me. The operative word being 'too'." Arizona smiles.

"My brand of teasing is not for the weak of hearts. You're a tough cookie."

Arizona just nods, urging Callie to continue. "You said you had that fear of when that time comes. And you said you didn't know what love was before me." Arizona blushed as the words leave her mouth. "So what happened? When I was in the picture?"

"Exactly. You were there. You were the person who made me feel it, Arizona."

"My love scared you?" Arizona felt her chest clench at the thought.

"No."

"Then what did?"

"Me loving how much you love me. That scared me."

"Calliope..."

"The love was so strong that I felt like we were one person. And it scared me. Because you slowly changed. I was the exact opposite of you, Arizona. You're perky, I'm snobbish. You say all the right things, I say all the wrong things. You were always organized, always had a plan, whereas I just go with the flow. But the love was so strong that we were slowly molding into one person. You started being cranky whenever we fight - which was a lot. And you may not admit it, but it affected your work. Do you understand what I'm saying here, Arizona?"

"Callio -."

"It's just so frustrating because I can't put into words the exact things that I want to say."

"Just say whatever you feel, Callie. I'll try to understand."

"I -. " Callie opens her mouth to say something more, but nothing comes out. "I'm sorry. I'm really tired."

"Callie..."

"She's right, you know? I was just bringing you down. I never would have -."

"Wait. She's right? Who's right?" Arizona hastily stands up from the couch to stand next to Callie. "What did you say?" Callie's face pales at Arizona's question, opting instead to lie on her bed, with her back facing Arizona. "Calliope Torres!"

"I'm tired, Arizona. Please go. I want to sleep."

"What did you mean by what you just said? Who's right?"

"I don't know."

"Callie...quit being stubborn."

"I'm tired." Arizona huffs in frustration, but knows that this isn't going to go anywhere.

"Fine. But we're not done talking, Calliope. You have some things to explain." With one last look at the athlete, Arizona dejectedly leaves the room.

An hour later

The woman walks the halls of Seattle Grace, hoping that nobody will notice her. As soon as she turns a corner, she sighs, grateful that she's able to manage not to draw any attention to herself. She waits for a few seconds to collect herself before opening the office door.

"Arizona?" She mumbles, causing the surgeon in question to look up from her computer.

"Mom?" Arizona pushes herself off her chair, confusion and surprise evident in her face as she rushes to get to the door. "What are you doing here?" She asks as she gives Barbara a hug. "Is everything okay? Where's Dad?" Arizona looks past her mother's shoulders to check on her companion that she's expecting to see.

"Everything great, honey. And your Dad's doing well. He went on a fishing escapade in Michigan with your Uncle Andrew and your cousins. I was feeling a bit lonely at home so I decided to fly here and visit for a while."

"You could have called, Mom. I should have picked you up from -."

"Oh nonsense! It's supposed to be a surprise. Now where would be the fun in that?" Barbara pats her daughter's shoulder as she gives her a subtle once over. "So, you're busy?"

Arizona rolls her eyes at her mother's antics. "Mom..."

"What? I'm just asking."

"My shift doesn't end in three hours. If I had known you'll be here, I would have asked the Chief for a couple of days off."

"Arizona, dear, I told you it's okay. I can wait for you here. I know my way around this hospital, so I'll be fine. Do your thing." She shrugs, passing her daughter by to sit on a chair. "You alright?" Barbara asks her visibly distracted daughter.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, Mom. Why wouldn't I be alright?" She mumbles, scurrying to find her mother something to drink.

"You seem a bit…distracted," Barbara says, sipping from the glass of water that her daughter gave her. She watches as Arizona scans her surrounding, as if making sure they're still alone.

"Sorry Mom," Arizona answers. "I'm just a little preoccupied."

"Something wrong?" Barbara asks worriedly.

Shaking her head, Arizona sighs. "No, no. Um, I've just been…seeing Calliope a lot recently." She blurts out, knowing that it will be useless to lie to her mother.

At her daughter's answer, Barbara stiffens, "Oh…" Arizona notices this. She always does.

Her Mom does that a lot, tenses up, whenever she talks about Callie. She can't figure out what it means exactly. Sometimes she feels like her Mom reacts a certain way because she's looking out for her and because in her mind, Calliope will always be the girl that broke her daughter's heart many years ago. That's completely normal for mothers, right? And Arizona respects that about her. But right now, Arizona wishes she'll loosen up a little and let her explain how much she thinks Callie has changed.

"What's wrong Mom?"

"Nothing," Barbara tries to convince the surgeon, "Have you two talked about anything? Like why she..." Barbara trails on as she fidgets in her chair.

"Not really, Mom. She has been injured and had to undergo a major surgery. We've been talking. I've been visiting her from time to time."

"Oh." The older blonde says in shock. "And how is she?"

"She's doing well. Will need a lot of therapy, really extensive one, but she's looking good."

"Why here? She could have gone to a better orthopedic hospital. I mean, she has the resources." Arizona's stomach twists at her mother's words. Being completely sensitive to her daughter's feelings, Barbara's eyes widen in regret, sighing apologetically.

"Sorry," Barbara adds quietly. "I was just curious."

"It's fine, Mom. I was too." Arizona confesses. "But she's playing for Seattle, and the incident happened nearby, so I guess it made a lot of sense that she was brought here. Well, not that she had much say about it. I think her medical team just thought that Seattle Grace is the best place for her, you know, given the situation." The younger blonde rambles.

"Arizona —"

"I know that she's not your favorite person in the world after...after that. But please Mom. Not now?"

"Okay," She says calmly, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Thank you," Arizona replies.

"So has she told you why she left?" Barbara starts again, causing Arizona to frown.

"No?"

"Oh, okay. Just wondering."

"Why?"

"You said you talked about things," Barbara explains, "I'm not sure if that was included. I was just curious."

"I'm going to ask her again."

"Just be careful okay? Don't rush it if you aren't ready, sweetie."

"I know, Mom."

"Oh God..." Barbara mutters after some time. "You still..."

Arizona hangs her head in defeat. "I don't think I'm over her, Mom."

Barbara stays quiet and Arizona can't decipher what the silence means. The older Robbins has always been close to Callie. She treated Callie like her own, especially after she learned that the younger woman's own mother never really took time to bond with her child. It broke her heart to see a child, looking tentatively at an adult, so unsure if said adult will give her love or not. It has always made Arizona's heart flutter when she saw Callie and her Mom together. Callie looked delirious, like a child who was just given the go signal to play in the rain. Barbara, on the other hand, would look at Callie like the child she would have wanted to have. It was amazing to see them together.

"You don't think…?" Barbara repeats.

"No," I confirm.

"What does…I don't understand what that means, Arizona."

"Me too Mom. At least not yet. I'm so confused."

"Do you want to be with her again? After everything?"

"I don't know."

"She could hurt you all over again."

"She could," Arizona responds honestly. "I don't know. Can we please drop it? At least for now?"

"Of course honey. Look, how do you feel about a cup of coffee from that shop across the street? You can take little break, can't you?" Arizona looks at her computer, then back at her mother.

"I guess." Barbara smiles before she pushes herself off her seat.

We're getting closer to what really happened all those years. And we'll know if either Callie or Arizona are seeing anybody ATM.

Also, let me address the confusion on their age gap. For the purpose of this story, they are 10 years apart. Callie is 24 now, Arizona, 34.