READ THE AUTHOR NOTE!
A/N- hello to anyone who still bothers to read this ballad to procrastination and yaoi. cobalt's not dead, just really busy and lazy. lethal combination for an authoress, i know, but still. here's the second version of chapter four (the first one came out really crappy and boring). fluff/pairing-wise it's broken up into thirds. first part is lavi/allen fluff which you should all be familiar with by now. and the last two are yullen stuffies.
alright, just wanna get this out before i start the chapter. i've been getting A LOTTT of anon reviews during the past few days. and that wouldn't be such a bad thing...if they weren't all just random spam and words. i know you guys (the anons) probably didn't mean any harm and i'm thrilled you like my crappy fic that much but seriously. STOP.
to me, those aren't legit reviews. but spam and extra annoyance. (like text-bombing a person. yeah. not cool) plus, you guys took my first 100th review (i've never gotten a hundred reviews before =A=) and that really...pissed me off. like i was planning to do something special with the hundredth review and was gonna send the reviewer something kewl! but...since you're anonymous...yeah, can't really do it. kinda killed my buzz there.
i'd appreciate it if you either got an account so that i could contact/PM you or if you just reviewed once or twice...instead of seven times in a row. literally, i woke up today and there were seven reviews of blahhh in my inbox. T_T so yeah. do that...or i'll have to start deleting reviews or worse, blocking anonymous reviews. sorry. but i'm really at the end of my rope. thanks for taking the time to spam me though! XDDD in strange way, i feel loved. owwwo i'm not angry with you guys, but please please, just do this. it'll make it so much easier on cobalt. ;AAAA;
warning- satire deconstruction of characters, anarchism stew, and randomness. among my usual butchering of my favorite characters.
not beta'd, but hey, it's an update. and a long one at that. enjoy.
Disclaimer- cobalt no own dgm b/c if she did then the chapter wouldn't be monthly, they're be biannual. (i procrastinate..a lot) nor do i own any other characters i use from other mangas.
Chapter Four
Russian Roulette
Heavy and lumbering footsteps echoed throughout the decrepit mansion, a trail of freshly spilled blood following each step. The man stopped briefly catch his breath and spit out the mixture of saliva and blood that had been collecting in his mouth. He continued to trudge forward, stopping again when he reached a door at the end of the hallway, he cautiously opened it, half expecting a dead body to come falling out. Such thing did not occur so the man quickly went in and barricaded the door with the weight of his back.
With trembling fingers he removed the phone on his back and placed it in front of him and dialed the only number the machine could contact. He waited a few seconds before a feminine voice answered on the other end.
"Hello. Black Order headquarters, Europe branch. May I have your finder code and name please?" she asked in a bored monotone.
"Hello? Yes, 03495E, my name is Jakob Hadler and I have an urgent report for a possible Innocence shard...a-actually, it's more a collection of them. They're all being held in-" the lady cut him off.
"Alright, first I need your location, Mr. Hadler and a more concrete explanation of the situation." Jakob scowled and felt a sharp sting of pain from his recently re-opened wound that..thing he had encountered earlier, had given him. He wasn't sure what it was, an akuma or..
Creak...
Creak...
Creak...
He heard small footsteps and the faint sound of mechanical whirring. Damn, they had found him already? Time was running short and he had to alert the Black Order about this place.
"The location is some rundown village two miles east of Chelyabinsk, Russia. It's a farm town with a creepy rundown mansion at the top of this hill. I don't know the actual name of the village...yes, I know. Will you-...will you just listen to me?" Jakob listened to her still monotonous, irritated voice argue back at him. Eventually she calmed down and allowed him to continue.
"You've got to send some exorcists here, ASAP. And top-notch ones, there's a two people here. Wait, no, only one of them is human, the other is some hellish humanoid machine that the other one, a girl, uses to- can you just let me finish? They're twisted monsters, both of them. Countless villagers, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were finders before me who came across this place...but all of them have been killed by these two. Slaughtered. And I think I'm next on the l-" he stopped and felt something pierce his throat. Jakob dropped the phone receiver in shock.
A thin and sharp copper cord had been penetrated the wooden door and went right through the back of his neck and out his trachea. Blood immediately started to fill his throat and spill out from the corner of his mouth. Jakob made a feeble attempt to pull himself away from the cable but a sharp jolt of high-voltage electricity came coursing out from the cord and into his neck and body, killing him instantly.
The burnt body slumped over and the door opened, pushing the corpse off to the side. Two figures walked in, one of them cloaked in heavy winter wear. It was freezing in the forgotten Imperial Russian mansion. The other wore a unbuttoned parka with a hood covering its face. From its stomach was the source of the cord that had pierced Jakob. With the flick of the girl's wrist, the cord came back and recoiled itself in her companion's stomach.
A pair of hardened blue eyes scanned the room, eventually stopping on the dropped receiver and phone belonging to the late finder she and her companion had recently killed. With another flick of the hand, a piece of jagged copper appeared out of thin was sent into the machine followed with another jolt of electricity, frying the piece of equipment much like what had happened to its possessor.
"Another one down. Let's go, mother." the girl said briskly, leaving the room, her 'mother' following closely behind.
XDXDXD
At The Straw Hat
"Hmm..a girl with white hair, you say? Oh, you mean the one customer who left before she could get her order? Yeah, she came in here. Why, she your girlfriend?" the orange-haired server asked teasingly. Kanda scowled.
"Na-nami-chan..." the man on the floor muttered. Nami simply shoved her heel further in the beaten man's fleshy face.
"No. I just need to know where she ran off to." Kanda replied. Nami placed her chin between her thumb and forefinger in thought.
"Well, I'm not sure. I was in the kitchen beating up the cook for sexual harassment when she left. Oh! But I'm sure Jack here knows where she went." Nami said, lifting Jack up from the floor to face the exorcist. Kanda's glare intensified upon seeing the pudgy man.
"White-haired girl with a red scar on her face. Where did she go?" Kanda bit. Jack gulped, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.
"Ah...if you're talking about that cute lookin' broad me n' Ed hit on, then yeah, chick ran outta the place with a redheaded guy. Ed n' the rest of the guys took off after 'em." Kanda sighed. Lavi, that buffoon. Jack looked nervous. "Look man, that's all I know. Honest." Kanda nodded to Nami, who promptly dropped Jack back onto the floor.
Kanda turned and began walking towards the exit. Nami smiled and waved. "Bye! Good luck finding your girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend." Kanda said slamming the door as he left. Nami sighed.
"Ah, young love."
XDXDXD
From the perspective of any other regular person, the image of two teens of different gender sitting together at a table laughing and conversing over a cup of coffee and some biscotti at the local cafe was commonly seen as a 'date'. The two teenagers sitting at said table doing such act of merriment were no exception.
The redheaded boy with the eyepatch leaned forward and whispered something in the silver-haired girl's ear and she in returned laughed. Then the boy laughed because the girl laughed and together...they laughed. Yesiree, this was your typical date.
A few adults glanced over and gave a small smile at the two teens and remarked on fond memories of their own dates 'back in the day'. There were even a handful of envious girls muttering bitterly over their lack of male companions and cursing the happy couple to a doomed relationship.
But, as with most things, there was more than meets the eye about the two adolescents. It was highly unlikely that anyone could tell that they were two exorcists working under a militant-religious order who had snuck out for some R&R. And it was even more unlikely that anyone knew that the girl who already downed five cups of coffee and eleven pieces of biscotti and coffeecake (the caffeine was also starting to have an effect on the girl, seeing as how she was jittering with laughter and hyperactivity) was actually not a girl at all.
That the hyper silverette was actually, in fact, a guy who had been turned into a girl by twisted cake-related means through the consumption of a demented potion created by an equally demented scientist with a sister complex the size of his ego. Which was pretty damn big, for those of you who couldn't already tell.
The boy-turned-highly attractive-girl was also the prophesized Destroyer of Time destined to come in conflict with the malevolent entity known as the Earl of Millennium and that the outcome of their battle would decide the fate of humanity. And the life as we know it.
Yeah. That's some pretty deep shit right there.
And that wasn't the end of it either, the boy had some hidden attributes about himself that most people wouldn't have guessed about him. Like the girl he was conversing with, the boy was also an exorcist but he belonged to a neutralist clan of historians and truth-seekers known as Bookman. So however the whole thing with the Millennium Earl and the Destroyer of Time thing worked out, it really wouldn't have an effect on the boy. Bookman supposing to have a lack of heart and all.
So in short, those two teenagers had some really fucked up backgrounds.
But having a messed up a past doesn't mean they don't have the right to party hard and have fun, right? The correct answer is no, by the way. Thus, we carefully observe the so-called 'date' between these two individuals to see if the outcome of their date will be as equally messed up as they are.
XDXDXD
Lavi watched with great amusement as Allen took another sip of his sixth cup of coffee. In his first few years as Bookman's apprentice, coffee had been Lavi's lifesaver, keeping his awake as he filed through the endless pages of history books and political documents. Naturally, he was omnipotent to any of its side effects by now.
However with Allen it was another story. Training with Cross, his master kept the boy awake with surprise punches in the face and the sound of him and his female companions engaging in 'adult nighttime activities' as Cross put it. Coffee was a new thing for the exorcist. And the caffeine really seemed to make the poor kid a little cuckoo, but it was sure as hell funny to listen to him babble on about things in his jumpy, hyped-up state.
"Whoa, look at the size of that lady's butt. It's huge like...like King Kong huge. She must eat like a boatload of cake everyday to get a bum that big. And it doesn't help that she's built like a frikkin' tank either. I'd rather have Kanda stab me a million times than die by having that lady sit on me. Ooh, food..." Allen jabbered, forking a piece of cake into his mouth. Lavi bit back his hysterical laughter. Caffeine made it so that Allen's every thought was spoken out loud. Needless to say, the boy had some interesting opinions on a variety of things.
"There's a fly in my soup, Lavi. A flipping fly swimming around in my delicious soup. I'm going to dump some salt on it and see if it shrivels up and dies." Allen said, wide-eyed, his hand inching towards the salt shaker. Lavi smiled and stopped his loopy friend's hand from seizing the salt.
"There is no fly in your soup, Allen. We're not even having soup. This is a coffee shop, the closest thing they have to soup here is a watery latte. And the salt thing only works with snails and stuff." Lavi reasoned with the boy. Allen paused and pulled back his hand and placed it under his chin in thought.
"I wish had some soup for flies to swim in then. Oh and you should hold my hand more. Your hands are super duper soft and nice feeling." he said, innocently holding out his hand. Lavi choked on his bite of bagel.
"W-what?" Lavi sputtered, eyeballing Allen's outstretched hand curiously. It wasn't as though he didn't want to hold the boy's hand. But Allen really wasn't in a right state of mind at the moment and it really just wouldn't feel right...holding his hand without proper permission, of course.
"Holddddd myyyy handddd, Laaaaviiiiii!" Allen said, annunciating each syllable carefully. Lavi blinked, a blank look plastered on his face.
"Uh...I think that's enough coffee for you, Allen." Lavi replied, reaching over and pulling the double sugared mocha flavored cuppa' joe away from the young girl. This time it was Allen's turn to place his hands' over Lavi's. The red head stiffened as Allen pulled his hand away from the steaming cup of coffee and over to the center of the table. "W-what are you doing, Allen?" he asked.
Allen looked up and blinked before grinning. "'Dunno. Just something I saw a boy and girl do this one time when I was traveling with Master. So I thought since I'm a girl now, we should do it too." Allen giggle and grinned again. Lavi felt a warm heat rush up to his cheeks. Oh god this was getting...weird. Maybe they should have just gone back to the Black Order instead of coming here..
"Uh, Allen.."
"Shh! Alright, gimme the other hand." Allen demanded, Lavi did so and placed his free hand in Allen's right hand. I mean, might as well go with the flow, right? 'If you can't beat them, then join them' kinda stuff. Plus Lavi was getting in his chest...felt weird..but nice. It was a good kind of weird.
"Lavi...I'm leaving you." Allen said somberly. ...Wait, what? What? WHAT? Allen's voice was drained of its previous excitement and his expression was indecipherable. Lavi opened his mouth then shut it, not sure what to say. Allen pulled his hands and began laughing. "Haha, that was what the girl said to the guy when I saw them. The guy had this shocked, sad face...just like yours!" Lavi forced a half-smile. For a moment he had really been worried there.
Wait, why would he be worried? Why would Allen 'leaving him' make him feel like sitting in a corner and sighing for the new five years of his life? Gosh, maybe the caffeine was having an effect on him...
"Come on, let's do it again!" Allen exclaimed, taking a hold of Lavi's hands again. Lavi only smiled sheepishly and nodded 'Sure'. Allen cleared his throat and made several attempts to make his face look remotely serious until finally succeeding after a good five minutes of nonstop giggling and laughter. "Lavi?"
"Yes?" Lavi said, playing the part of the boy about to be dumped. Allen sighed softly.
"I'm leaving you for...Kanda!"
...
...
...
"THAT'S NOT ANY BETTER!" Lavi shouted. He wasn't expecting to be playing the part of the boyfriend with a floozy girlfriend who cheated on him with...jerks. And God, and why Kanda of all people? Allen and Yuu were like night and day and couldn't stand the sight of each other. Every one of their encounters began and ended with either a "Dumb Bakanda!" or "Stupid moyashi.". "I'm wayy better than Yuu, Allen! Why the hell would you wanna cheat on me with that grumpy soba lover anyway?" Lavi demanded. Allen frowned and shook his head.
"That's not what I meant, Lavi. I meant 'Kanda!' as in 'Hey, look! It's Kanda!' And there he is. Hi, Bakanda." Allen said, giving a toothy grin and small wave. Lavi gulped and slowly looked behind him. Sure enough, Kanda in all his fury and anger was there, glaring psychotically at the baka usagi before him.
"Hey...Yuu. How long have ya been there...standing behind me and...stuff." Lavi asked, choosing his words carefully. Kanda looked about ready to chop his head off.
"Long enough, baka usagi." was his reply. Ooh. Not good. Lavi began fidgeting in his seat and tried to squeeze out of the chair to make a break for it but Kanda pushed his chair in from behind him to the point where Lavi thought the end of the table was going to slice itself right through his gut. Kanda...wasn't...very...happy.
"That...that's a...surprise. You're...argh...not mad...are you...Yuu?" Lavi managed to choke out. Kanda kicked his chair in tighter and for a for a faint second Lavi saw a light at the end of the tunnel. It was a shame he didn't walk towards it because Lavi was positively sure Kanda was going to send him to the other end of the afterlife spectrum. The one with eternally burning flames and stuff. Yeah, not fun.
"I'm not mad, baka usagi. I'm pissed." Kanda hissed. Lavi felt his balls drop. Well...time to start praying like a crazy motherbitch. Kanda went on. "But you're lucky I don't have the time to beat your sorry ass into the ground. I'm here to get the moyashi over there. Dumb sister complex's orders."
...Dear God, please send Komui my sincerest gratitude and may you shower him with a thousand little Lenalees. And a nice tropical fruit basket too. Amen.
"Moyashi, let's go." Kanda barked. Allen stood up and brushed off several cake crumbs from his uniform shorts.
"My name is Allen, Bakanda, do I need to write it down? Lavi, gimme a pen. And what does Komui want?" Allen asked. Kanda 'che'd.
"How the hell should I know? He just told me to come and find you." he replied. Allen gasped as if a revelation had just come to him.
"What if he's finished the antidote! Holy cow, we gotta move! Let's go Kanda!" Allen cried, pulling Kanda by the sleeve out of the cafe. "Bye, Lavi!"
Lavi finally managed wring himself free of the chair's death grip and gave a small wave in Allen's direction. "See ya, beansprout!"
XDXDXD
At the Black Order HQ
Lenalee carefully removed the cast on her brother's left foot. Komui sighed, happy to have his dear sweet sister paying so much attention to him for once. Curse those friends of hers that always kept them from having the very important and precious "brother-sister bonding time" he had heard so much about. He smiled up at his dear sibling who kindly smiled back. Yep, this was the life.
No distractions.
No interferences.
And especially, no boys.
Just sweet Lenalee-chan and her awesomely cool and heroic older brother. Yes.
Komui could have sworn that having his body mangled by Allen's Crown Clown was the best thing that could have happened to his and Lenalee's relationship. Setting aside the actual time when Allen was slaughtering him, that was. Lenalee had just stood there with a sad smile on her pretty face. Sob...the betrayal hurt.
But it was all better now! Lenalee-chan devoted her time to tending to her Nii-san and making sure he would heal as quickly as possible.
'That way you can get to making that antidote for Alle-chan.' she said. Pah! That beansprout could stay a girl for the rest of his life for all he cared, he just wanted Lenalee's attention and love. Which he was prompting receiving at the moment. Yep, this was the life. So suck it, Allen. Your 'Kill that bastard, Komui' plan failed! Mwahaha-oww..
"How is that, Nii-san?" Lenalee asked. Komui moved his foot a bit. It felt good as new. He smiled at his sister sadly.
"Still kind of aches, I'm afraid." Lies. But they were to keep Lenalee-chan by his side a while longer, so they didn't really count. Lenalee frowned.
"Really? The nurse said your leg should be healed up by now. How strange." Komui shrugged.
"Allen's Crown Clown is super strong and painful. My weak human body could not handle its awesome destructive power." Komui sniffed, adding to his performance. Lenalee seemed to have bought it.
"Oh, big brother..." she placed his legs back on her lap and began massaging them. Oh yes, this is the life, indeed.
Komui shut his eyes and smiled peacefully. He was starting to get a bit sleepy...
...
...
...Zzz.
"KOMUI-SAN, I'M BACK! DID YOU MAKE THE ANTIDOTE YET?" the door slammed open and two people came walking in.
Komui shrieked and jumped up and flew onto the floor face-first. Lenalee gasped.
"Wow. The idiot scientist screams like a girl." Kanda noted. Lenalee scowled at him and bent down to help her brother up. Allen pushed past Kanda and helped Komui up as well.
Well...Allen's version of helping was just lifting Komui up by the arm that was broken and tossing him back onto his bed. ...But it was the thought that counts.
Komui groaned and pulled himself up into a sitting position. He promptly death-glared both Kanda and Allen for ruining the cool brother-lovely sister moment in their individual ways. Allen for yelling and causing him to face-plant on the ground then throw him over to his bed. And Kanda for...being Kanda.
"So, did you get to work on the antidote yet?" Allen asked tentatively. Komui turned slowly...very slowly to face the exorcist.
"No." he said. Allen pushed the subject no further.
"Oh..okay. Well, why did you have Kanda come looking for me?" Komui sighed and scratched the back of his head trying to remember exactly why he had done so.
"Uh...oh, right! I had a mission for the both of you." he recalled. Kanda frowned.
"Why do I always have to be teamed up with him?" he asked, glaring over at his 'partner'. Allen returned the glare.
"I feel the same way, Bakanda." he replied with same amount of venom. Lenalee smiled nervously.
"Getting along as always, I see."
"No, we're not!" they barked. Komui smacked them both with a rolled up newpaper.
"Hey! Don't yell at sweet Lenalee-chan like that, you brutes! Apologize!" Kanda and Allen both muttered words of apology toward Lenalee who kindly accepted them. "Anyways, back to the mission. The place you'll be travelling to is Russia-"
"Russia? That's really far away! I don't wanna be with Kanda for that long!" Allen interrupted. Kanda nodded in agreement. Komui smacked Allen with the newspaper again.
"Too bad! It'll give you two time to work on your public-health-hazard of a relationship." the two grumbled in a frustration. "Ah, where was I..? Oh yes. You'll be going to a small village in Russia where an eccentric, rich old lady used to live. Well, before she died." Komui added awkwardly.
"So? How does this relate the Black Order?" Kanda questioned.
"Hush! I'm getting to that part. In her will she put that all her money and assets will go to whoever can spend a full twenty-four hours in her mansion. A stupid idea because it's just asking for trouble, but she was quite the eccentric. Crazy lady probably liked the idea of idiots trying to steal her fortune. Ahh..lost my train of thought...oh, got it. Of course, many attempted to do the twenty-four hours but most only make it to midnight before they come running and screaming out. Then there are some that are never even seen again."
"Why is that?" Allen asked. Komui shrugged.
"The townsfolk say it's haunted by some kind of ghost. How silly. It's most likely some trickster or worst-case scenario, an akuma. Oh and the most recent report has opened up the possibility of an advanced level akuma or some sort."
"So why do we have to stay there then?" Kanda asked. Komui fidgeted in his bed.
"...The Black Order needs some funds.." he muttered. Everyone was silent.
"...What?" Kanda asked again. Komui coughed.
"Well, every branch of the Black Order has a budget and uhh...we've reached ours. Needless to say, we're a bit strapped for cash and I figure this ought to be worth a shot. What with two hard-boiled exorcists like yourselves, the two of you could probably scare off a ghost or two just with your little banter. Plus there may or may not being some innocence there. The finder's report got messed up somehow. Weird things happen at that mansion.." Kanda and Allen glared at the man. Lenalee coughed and everyone's attention went to her.
"Kanda and Allen, you leave the headquarters tonight. Sorry for the short notice. Your finder will guide you to the town, please stay safe and good luck." she said. Allen smiled at her and nodded. Kanda grunted and the two left to pack.
She turned to face her brother who was pretending to be asleep and sighed. "Please, Nii-san, you can't possibly think that I can't tell you're faking sleep, right?" Komui slowly looked at her and smiled.
"Lenalee-chan is so smart..." he said innocently. Lenalee shook her head.
"Flattery will get you nowhere, brother. Anyway, it's getting late so I'm going to bed now." she put up a hand before Komui could convince her to stay. "But. I have someone who will look after you tonight. Jerry-san kindly offered to take care of you. Isn't that nice?" Komui paled.
Sure, he and Jerry were, like, total BFF's, but Jerry really didn't know how to be gentle. He gave a hundred and ten percent into everything he did. That was something that Komui admired about his friend, but in his current frail and broken position an extremely effeminate man who knew martial arts and lacked the ability to be gentle, was NOT what he needed.
"B-b-but, Lenalee-chan..." he sputtered.
"Good night." she said as she left the room. Oh no...he was too late. Komui scrambled out of bed to hobble after his sister, but screamed when he looked up.
"Komui-kun~!" Jerry cried, tackling his friend in a crushing man-glomp-hug. Komui yelped in pain and wrestled himself out of the demonic embrace.
"J-Jerry-san...how nice to see you..." he stuttered, climbing back into the protection of his hospital bed. Jerry walked over to Komui's bedside.
"Yes, yes. Oh, Komui-kun, when I heard you were hurt, I was so worried. But you're so lucky to have a kind sister like Lenalee-chan to look after you." Komui nodded. Yes..just think about dear, sweet Lenalee-chan...
"Yes..I am lucky.." Jerry nodded.
"But even angels like Lenalee-chan need to go to sleep sometimes." No, they don't! Angels are magical creatures, what do they need sleep for! "So that's why I'm taking over tonight! Don't worry! I'll be extra gentle since you're sick and all."
'Lies! Lies! Lenalee-chan, help me! Your super cool big brother is going to be killed!' Komui thought.
"Oh, you're looking a little pale. I can fix that! Nothing like a little Muay Thai massage to get the blood flowing!" Jerry said, popping his knuckles. Komui was hyper-ventilating in panic. "Ready or not...here I go~!"
And with that, the pain began.
XDXDXD
Allen stepped onto the gondola and sat down next to Kanda, who growled in disdain. Allen rolled his eyes in response. The gondola began to start its passage.
Allen stared at the calm water then glanced over at the finder sitting across from him.
Like most other finders, this one was a guy. He looked rather young to be a member of the Black Order, but then again so was Allen. The boy had scrappy brown hair and a pair of matching eyes. He had a skinny body and his only visible distinguishable feature that set him aside from the everyday finder was that he had a burn going from the side of his jaw and probably reached down to his neck, which was wrapped in white gauze.
The finder noticed Allen looking at him and took the chance to introduce himself.
"Hello, my name is Tune Marie. You must be Allen Walker and Yuu Kanda, don't worry Mr. Walker, I was made aware of your situation." he said. Allen smiled and nodded.
"Oh, that saves me the explaining. And please, just call me Allen. Also, you can call him Kanda. But nothing else or he'll cut you in half with his sword." he motioned at Kanda who grunted. Allen pursed his lips. "Your name sound familiar...do you have a sibling in the Order?" Tune nodded.
"Yes, you might know my brother, he's an exorcist as well. His name is Noise Marie."
"You're Noise's brother? Well then it's a pleasure to meet you. You're brother's a good guy." Tune grinned. "Hm. Noise and Tune Marie. That has a ring to it." Allen said. Tune chuckled.
"Our mom had a thing for music. Her name was Melody, even." The two laughed and continued chatting throughout the gondola ride. Kanda simply observed the sights as they traveled through the Black Order's many secret underground passageways.
XDXDXD
Somewhere in Russia...
Kanda growled in the back of his throat, shoving his gloved hands deeper into his pockets and hunching his body away from the furiously blowing snow they were currently trekking through. Three godforsaken days spent in the frozen wasteland and they still had no clue where they were and if they were even near their destination.
The first day had been pretty much a dud because by the time they got off the gondola the useless moyashi had practically passed out from a sugar crash. Kanda had to sling the idiot over his shoulder and carry him (Tune was already lugging around a giant backpack full of supplies and it wasn't like Kanda was that heartless) around like the lazy sack of potatoes he was to their inn. And it didn't help that Allen kept squirming around and causing Kanda to almost fall over on one more than one occasion. He had begun to think that the moyashi was doing it on purpose. Then he heard Allen murmur something that made Kanda get a queasy feeling his stomach.
'Bakanda smells nice..'
First of all, piss off, moyashi. He would have dropped the puny exorcist on his empty head if Kanda hadn't been so unnerved by the latter of his comment. I mean, jeez, who goes around smelling people when asleep? Weirdos, that's who.
From then on Kanda just shut his trap and carried the sleeping girl, no questions asked.
During their second day, (and after Allen had finally woken up from his coffee-induced slumber) the trio had finally begun making some ground had successfully reached Russia's western border. However from there the trip began to spiral downwards even more. Nonstop snow and bitter cold winds made navigation virtually impossible and they quickly got lost and had been lost ever since.
"I-It hurts to breathe. The air feels likes it's mixed with ice and b-broken glass!" Tune noted through chattering teeth. Allen nodded and wrapped the scarf he had tied around his face even tighter, only his eyes and bangs were visible. He pulled the scarf down for a brief moment to talk.
"K-Kanda, how are you holding out?" he asked, quickly pulling the scarf back over his near-frozen lips.
"I'm fine...just freezing my ass off." Kanda grunted. He heard the moyashi faintly chuckle, but through the howling wind, it sounded more like haggard coughing.
"Aren't we all..." Allen replied. He stopped suddenly. "H-Hey, you guys...I think I heard the ground crack or something...do you think we're on-"
CRACK!
The snowy white ground below them collapsed and split apart, revealing pitch black water below. Allen scowled. 'Shit!' He hurriedly threw off his scarf and activated Crown Clown, using one hand to latch onto a more stable piece of ground and the other to pull the one closest to him, Tune, to safety.
Splash!
"Kanda!" Allen shouted. 'Dammit, dammit, dammit! Can he swim? Argh! Screw it!' He deactivated his Innocence and dove into the large hole they had created in the ice floe after the samurai.
"Allen!" Tune screamed, staring into the black pit of frozen water that sat in the middle of a frozen hell.
XDXDXD
Kanda POV
I seriously don't understand the what the hell just happened. One second I'm trudging through what I swear is the second Ice Age, then there's a loud crack and the next thing I know I'm underwater. Which is really, really, really bad...considering I never learned to swim.
...Shut up or I'll rip that stupid grin right off your face.
Anyways, it's pretty damn strange, being completely submerged underwater. It wasn't as freezing cold as it is above ground, which is surprising. Or perhaps it's just that my nerves have gone numb from the arctic weather I've been enduring for the past three days. Either way it's a real nice feeling just floating around like this. Water fills every nook and cranny of my body and since I'm underwater it doesn't feel even feel like I'm wet.
For a second I almost think that I'm back in the Asian Headquarters. Back in that pool of chemicals and fluids that I was born in. At least that's what I was told. Almost every memory of anything that happened before that time is gone. And the ones that remain...they're not something I want to talk about.
When I open my eyes I can see a circle of bright white that I suppose is the hole that I fell through. The circle is getting smaller and farther away each moment. I try to kick my legs and arms around to try and swim back up but my body is numb and heavy with the weight of the water pulling me farther and farther down. My chest feels about ready to explode and can hear my ears are pounding from the water pressure. I can already tell my pulse slowing down with each passing second so I shut my eyes, accepting what's coming.
Splash...
I catch the sound of breaking water and my eyes snap open. Through liquid goggles I see someone falling down towards me, both hands outstretched, trying to coax me to reach out and grab them.
Alma? No...
The thought of Alma ignites something in me. A sudden urge..no, a will to live and fight on. I grit my teeth and mouth out a curse that rhymes with 'truck'. 'Like hell if I'm gonna die through drowning.'
With the last bit of my strength, I reach out and grasp the gloved hand. There's a quick flash from an Innocence being activated then, as fast as I fell through the ice, I'm thrown back out onto land. The sudden barrage of snow and subzero winds hit my body like a semi and I let out a yell of pain. I collapse onto the ground, weariness and pain overcoming my restless mind and body with a welcome blanket of sleep.
It's the moyashi.
XDXDXD
The first thing I notice- I'm alive. Shocking considering how long I went without oxygen and that sudden change in pressure that nearly ripped my insides apart. But then again, being a Second Exorcist can come in handy sometimes. Healing owns.
The second thing I notice- we're not outside in the middle of a blizzard anymore. On one hand I'm horribly grateful. (I can feel my skin slowly beginning to thaw out) However, if we're not outside shoveling through two feet of snow (sans the actual shovel), then where the hell are we?
I can smell the familiar scent of burning wood and the peaceful snapping of the fire breaking apart the wood. Through my eyelids I can see (technically not 'see' since my eyes are closed but still) an unnatural light trying to poke through. With great annoyance on my part, I force one eye open just slightly and scope out the place. Seems to be just a regular bed room to me. Only the design was a hideously log cabin-themed. All the furniture was carved from wood and the walls were all painted a warm burgundy. In the corner there was a brick fireplace with an average looking fire going on in it. A cozy wool blanket covered my body up to my neck, not that I'm complaining. I'm tired as hell.
Finally the third thing I notice- there is a big ugly moose head hung up on the wall and it's looking right at me. Antlers and all. And I thought the Black Order was tacky when it came to interior design.
I lay around for another minute and soak up the relaxing feeling of it all then get out of bed. Time to go back to work. I fold up the blanket before I leave, exiting the room from the door on the far left. It lead me to hallway with several more doors on each side. Trying to decide which door to check first, I glanced behind me and saw a little girl who looked no older than eight looking curiously up at me. I turn and stared back at the girl. Hey, she should know not to stare at people.
"Hello." she greets, her voice soft and girlish.
"Hi." I reply. She folds her hands behind her back and smiles up at me, bright blue eyes shimmering with excitement. "Uh, who are you?" I add gruffly, trying my best not to sound too mean. I've been told that I scare little kids. Pft, they just need to grow spines.
The girl bounces on the balls of her feet, making her long blonde pigtails shake a little. "My name's Ekaterina. You must be Yuu. Nice to meet you, Yuu." she says, all smiles. A tiny tick mark appears on my forehead and my eye twitches. I know she probably didn't do that on purpose but it still pisses me off. Pushing aside my irritation, I calmly ask her how she knew who I was.
"Oh! Your friend, um, Tune told me. He said that you're really sick and stuff and that both you and that pretty girl needed a place to stay. So I'm letting you guys stay here for a while. But you need to be careful. I didn't ask my mother. She's away right now." Ekaterina said, leaning in and whispering the last part. I nodded. She smiles cheekily at me. "That girl's really pretty. Is she your lover?" I froze. What the hell is up with people and asking about whether the moyashi was my girlfriend or not? If they only knew...
"No. She's not. Now where is the mo-uh, where is...she staying?" I ask.
"Ohh. So it's like a unrequited and stuff? I get what you're saying. Don't worry, she'll come around eventually. Ever try cologne? You reek in real bad way." I feel the corner of my lip twitch. Okay, this girl is really starting to rub me the wrong way. "And your lady friend's in the room over there. Be quiet though, okay? Last time I checked she was in a super deep sleep." Ekaterina said, pointing over to the room on the far left. I give her nod then walk over and open the door, careful not to make it squeak.
The moyashi was still asleep alright, wrapped from the neck down in a blanket similar to the one I had been using. I silently slip in the room and walk over to the bed, peering down on the beansprout. He was panting softly and his whole face radiated a sickly heat. Frowning, I placed my hand on the moyashi's forehead. Fever? The skin feels clammy and warm to touch. Allen turns slightly, tossing his head to the other side and coughing a bit.
I walk over to the wall and lean up against it, crossing my arms and glancing over at the moyashi again. I really hadn't thought about it up until now but the bean was the one who saved me before. It was strange how I had mistaken him for Alma. But they were alike in so many ways..
They both annoyed the hell out of me, that was for sure. Their personalities weren't too different either, always optimistic about every damn thing and always believing in their stupid, idealist dreams. Even their freaking smiles echoed each other. That goddamn fake smile...
"'Cause you're my only friend, Yuu. I'm not going to let them take you away!"
I growl and clamp my eyes shut, trying to push Alma out of my thoughts.
"Isn't that right...Yuu?"
Shut up...just...
"Hrph..Kanda? What are you.." Cough, cough. "doing here?" Allen asks, sitting up slowly from the bed, shivering slightly and still holding the blanket around himself. Before I could answer the beansprout interrupts me. "W-wait, where am I? I don't remember...Kanda, what's going on?" he stares up at me, a confused look in his eyes. I quickly explain what I knew of the situation.
"-but, the best person ask is Tune. I just woke up a few minutes prior." I finish. He just nods blankly, expression distant and unreadable. For a brief moment I'm a bit worried about the moyashi, he isn't acting his usual annoying self. And...that's weird.
"Ohh. Hey, Kanda?" I look up.
"Hm?" A pair of silver eyes slide over to me, a mischievous glint in them.
"You can't swim, can you?" he asks mockingly.
"Che. Piss off." And to think I thought something was wrong with the kid. The beansprout stumbles out of bed and leaves the room, chuckling softly at me. Damn him.
XDXDXD
Normal POV
The floor felt pleasantly cool against Allen's warm feet. Shivers jumped up and down Allen's body and his sinuses were killing him. He could feel a sneeze coming on, letting it loose on his sleeve. No snot, but plenty of germs, no doubt. It was just his luck to get sick on a long mission like this. And Allen was pretty sure he really got sick when he jumped into that icy water to save Kanda. Up until then it was just a baby cold and he could have easily fought it off.
'Sigh. This is what you get for trying to rescue a jerkass like Kanda,' Allen thought. The dummy had passed out the moment they got out of the water. So Allen had carry Kanda's unconscious butt. Tune was out of the question because the poor finder had landed on his ankle and sprained it when Allen pulled him away from the broken ice. Allen just couldn't get a break, could he?
His eyes scanned the hallway, looking for the door that led to the bathroom. All Allen wanted to splash some cool water of his face, which was burning up like crazy by the way. He randomly opened one door and surprisingly, it was the bathroom door. Maybe his luck was starting to take a turn for the better.
Whoosh..
The stainless steel faucet let out a steady flow of icy water which Allen happily splashed onto his face. 'Ahh...' He also took the chance to scrub off all the extra dirt and grit that had collected on his face the past three days. There were no rest stops in the Russian wilderness, he was afraid.
Eyes closed, Allen reached out and grabbed a towel hanging near the bathtub and used it to dry off his face. Just as he put the towel back on its rack, a pair of icy-cold, metallic hands wrapped themselves around Allen's mouth. 'What the-?' Allen thought, instinctively jutting his elbow out into his assailant's stomach and twisting around to land a punch square in the individual's face.
Unfortunately at that moment, Allen learned two things about the person who had taken him by surprise. One was that the moment he hit the person in the face, his hand, more specifically his fingers, all broke upon impact with his or her face. The other was that his attacker wasn't made of flesh and bone, but some sort of silver-colored metal and that a simple punch and sharp elbow in the ribs and gut were not enough to take them down.
Eyes wide with shock and horror, Allen watched as the metal he had dented in the strange being's face he had dented with his fist slowly popped back out into its original form. A pair of glassy eyes with long lashes and the soft curve of its nose taking shape. It was a woman's face. The thing reached out with its free hand and grabbed Allen's wrist and contorted it sideways behind him.
'AUGHH!' Allen thought, his cry of pain silenced by the cold silver hand tightly gripping his mouth. His body collapsed onto the floor as the metal woman pinned both his hands behind his back. The last thing Allen remembered was the sharp pain of a metal fist hitting the back of his head, knocking him unconscious.
XDXDXD
Tune looked up from his logbook as Kanda strode into the living room, an irritated look on his face.
"Kanda, you're awake!" Tune said, placing his pen in the spiral of his notebook and tucking it back safely in his backpack. Kanda glanced over at him and che'd.
"Obviously. Where's the moyashi?" he asked, gingerly setting himself down on one of the room's sofas. Even though his body had healed itself, it still felt sore and achy from the whole ordeal. Tune shrugged.
"I don't know. Is he awake? The last person who came in here was Ekater- oh, wait, have you-" Tune trailed off. Kanda nodded, his lips twisting in annoyance at the thought of the weird little girl. Tune gave the swordsman a small smile. "Yeah, she can be a bit of handful. But she's really a nice girl. She found Allen and I in a forest we had tried to take shelter in. If it weren't for her we would have a frozen to death." Tune chuckled at the last part, trying to make light of the situation. Kanda che'd again.
The room was silent for a moment.
Tune coughed. "We were really worried about you for a moment there, Kanda. Allen and I both." Kanda simply blinked and shrugged as if to say, 'For what? I'm fine.' Tune shook his head, the three days he had spent with the exorcist had given him an understanding of Kanda's brand of body language. "Really. Allen kept on checking on you every five minutes to see if you still had a pulse or not. He even took off his jacket and put it on you. He was afraid you might've had hypothermia or something."
Kanda frowned. Did the bean really care that much? And was that why he had been shivering so much back there? Because of him? A small pool of guilt began forming in his stomach. Suddenly Kanda's eyes snapped opened. He had just gotten a rush of absolute dread. Like something horrible had just happened...or was about to happen.
Coincidentally another figure entered the room at that very moment. Both Kanda and Tune turned to see who it was. 'Moyashi?' Kanda thought, expecting the person to be Allen. It was not. It was Ekaterina...and she had a strange expression on her face. She looked over at him, Kanda noticed how her eyes seemed to filled with regret and some other emotion he couldn't identify.
"You guys..." she started, pausing momentarily to sigh. "I'm really sorry, but my mother's home. And she wants you gone." Kanda frowned. Something felt very off. Tune sat up.
"Oh, well..that's fine. You've already helped us so much. We wouldn't want to burden you-" Ekaterina cut him off.
"No...she wants you gone. Goodbye you two." With that, another figure appeared behind her and two copper cords were sent into Tune and Kanda's shoulder.
"What the-" Kanda started to say.
Bzzt!
A stream of electricity was conducted into their bodies and the two fell to the ground, the sickening odor of burnt flesh enveloping the living room.
A/N- good god, i'm finished. this took about maybe four days to write, so not toooo shabbyyy. F33 ooh! cliffyyyy! aren't i the nasty bitch. note- yes, it's a fact that kanda can't swim. it was on the dgm wiki. (yeah, i did actual research for this chapter. sad ain't it?) and the condition kanda was suffering from when he came out of the ice hole is a common, but dangerous, condition that occurs when a person stays in a pressurized environment for a while then are suddenly yanked out and put in a place with completely different air pressure. bubbles form inside the body from the change and it can cause a lot of pain and possibly internal bleeding. heavy water pressure in the ice hole...then thin air pressure on the surface equals pain. lots and lots of pain. allen didn't get the thing coz he only dived in quickly to save kanda. (if you can't tell, i'm a bit of a science nerd. xP)
teeeeeeheeeee. ekaterina is not my original character. she's from a different anime/manga. FIRST PERSON WHO CORRECTLY GUESSES WHAT ANIME/MANGA AND WHO SHE REALLY IS GETS A SPECIAL SURPRISE FROM COBALT! (if you're anon...gimme some way to contact you or it'll defeat the purpose) you'll also earn my respect as fellow otaku, coz this manga/anime..it's not exactly mainstream and as well known as other stuff...so if you do know. tops to you. ;D
some of you anons asked me few questions so i'll just answer them now while i have the time. What's a lemon? a lemon is a sex scene. idk if i'll write one...might just have someone else write it for me. and idk if it will be het or yaoi. i haven't read a het!lemon since i was ten. (yes. ten years old. readin' lemons. shaddup.) i'm fourteen now and verrry busy so not sure on what'll happen with that. stay tuned and find out i guess. ;D other question, allen should stay a girl- gonna tell you right now. not gonna happen. moyashi's trans-fo-mation back to a boy is gonna play an integral part of the story. sorry. =A=;;
LAST THING! THE POLL IS UP! GET YOUR ASSES OVER THERE AND VOTE! (it's been on my profile for like a month...haha...) the pairing that gets the most votes will get the lucky lady-guy. *looks at allen who's busy stuffing his face with food* -_-u yeahh. oh and if no one votes...i'm just gonna have my stupid friend...who's against pretty much all yaoi, choose for me. and she's allen/lenalee. yeahh...i don't think that's what most of you guys wants...is it? WELL THEN VOTE. VOTE TO KEEP THE YAOI!
Next Chapter- 'Cross My Heart' (also a song by marianas trench that gave me a lot of inspiration F333) this chapter will mark the end of the two-chapter russia/yullen-fluff arc. plus it'll have some new arrivals. one of which you will ALL appreciate.
that is all. toodles and all. *evaporates*
READ AND REVIEW.
(AND VOTE TOO!)