Undeterred

Chapter 4:

Unmasked

Lake Victoria Military Academy, 191 A.C.

9.59 AM

Lady Une quickly scanned the lecture hall before returning her full attention to the wristwatch in her hand. In exactly two minutes the semester's final exam would begin.

There was still plenty going on at that moment, and with 120 students gathered in the lecture hall it wasn't much of a surprise – people were noisily removing the wrappers of their snacks, conveying vital last-minute information to their neighbors, settling into their seats and scraping their chairs in the process. Une wished for everything to go smoothly. She was running on just four hours of sleep and the only thing keeping her together was her promise to his Excellency to keep the academy afloat during his absence.

She'd been up to her neck in paperwork and other responsibilities since Treize handed over the reins after his sudden departure, and after this final exam, the students would get a well deserved break, and the real work would start for the instructors.

She wondered if the young cadets had any idea of the many hours spent deciphering the sometimes questionable penmanship and marking the poorly constructed essays, making the ultimate decision that would affect their military career for possibly years to come.

The top ten even had a trip to space colony X18999 to look forward to, which would certainly give their careers a boost.

The scraping of a yet another chair broke her train of thought, and she took another look at her watch. It was 10 AM on the dot. Show time.

"You may begin. You have two hours, no more, no less," she said in a clear, loud voice.

120 heads were bent over their tiny square desks. Several students immediately started scribbling furiously, others were staring incredulously at the small stack of papers in front of them, or glanced around the lecture hall as if looking for divine inspiration.

Lady Une felt oddly satisfied knowing her prediction had been true; not everyone was cut out to be in the specials program, and ultimately become a mobile suit pilot.

The students were being pushed to their limits daily, and 14 had thrown in the towel after less than 3 months, among them two of the rare female students.

Undoubtedly, Treize would have listened to their problems and comforted them, but Une was different. Life was hard, and war was even harder. She had no time for the weak.

However, his Excellency's pet prodigy, Lucrezia Noin, was not like the others, and neither was Zechs Marquise. There were several other promising cadets, like Otto and Walker, but Noin and Marquise had always ranked first and second since day one. They'd come into the final assessments only several hundreds of a point apart, and were so closely matched that none of the instructors knew which one would come on top until the final results were added together.

Une's eyes involuntarily returned to the masked youth. While some of the other students were fidgeting and shifting in their seats, giving her some insight into their mental state, Zechs remained perfectly calm and composed, and seemed to breeze through his exam with the greatest of ease. In his reports about the boy his Excellency had remarked his extraordinary intelligence and talent for combat, but Lady Une suspected that besides admittedly excellent qualities, Marquise also had secrets, secrets that ran deeper than the need to hide his identity.

Whereas young, naïve Noin was an open book to her, her friend was cold, secretive, and she could feel deep down that he was insincere. Une knew next to nothing about him, didn't understand his motives for wanting to become an OZ officer, and couldn't get inside his head, and that was exactly why she didn't like him. For his Excellency's sake, she would keep a close eye on him.

To the great relief of all, the exam finally finished around noon.

The test was long, but not that difficult at all. He'd spent plenty of sleepless nights revising with Noin, and Zechs was quite confident he aced it. He wondered how his competition had fared and cast a glance at his neighbor. The gangly red-haired boy named Nash looked back at him with a mixture of relief and horror.

Noin quickly put away the pens she brought with her to the exam and caught up with Zechs. She smiled as he casually put his arm around her shoulder. Her hands were stained with ink, and she looked both exhausted and exhilarated, happy to be done with it all, for today at least.

"Hello Noin. You seem to be in good spirits."

"Oh, just glad to be done with it! How did you do?"

"Not too bad. I struggled a bit with the essay question, but otherwise I think I got most of the answers right. Let's get out of here and get something to eat, what do you say?"

They had nothing else scheduled for the rest of the day, and decided to spend it together as usual. Outside, the heat lay on the land like a blanket, and it was as if all color had been bleached from the sky, leaving a simmering white horizon. Zechs was sitting next to Noin under their favorite Acacia tree, their backs turned to the training hall and passer-by's and their faces towards the sun.

They both loved this spot because it was slightly secluded from view of the campus, and over the course of time, it had become their own little world. It was hot as a furnace, even in the shade, but for now the heat was relaxing and making them slightly drowsy. They sat quietly together for a long time, until Zechs finally asked: "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing." A short pause. "Everything. The exam was really quite stressful. I have no idea how I did. I also wonder if I'll be one of the chosen few to go to space, and..." She was able to stop herself before saying anything else, because she didn't want to worry him too much, but Zechs caught the gist of it nonetheless. He decided to ignore it and change the subject, to Noin's relief.

"Noin, there's no need to worry. I'm sure you did just fine on all your tests. I know you know you always have the highest scores. You're head and shoulders above anyone else."

Noin shrugged. "I don't know. I just do my best. You're shooting up the ranks pretty fast yourself, Zechs. I have a feeling you can outperform anyone in a mobile suit battle."

"That's what I'm aiming for. I'm hoping to achieve a position as a combat pilot after graduation."

"A combat pilot?" Noin looked at him with amazement and perplexity. "That sounds awfully dangerous."

He let out a short laugh, surprised by his friend's naivety.

"Injuries are part of war, Noin. So is death. If you don't accept that simple fact, then perhaps you're in the wrong place," he pointed out with cynical accuracy.

She didn't like the harshness in his voice, but he was at least part right. "I realize that, Zechs, I just regret the many lives lost in the war, soldiers like you and me."

"And what would war be, without human sacrifices? Hollow, empty…meaningless!" He wasn't smiling anymore now, his voice as cold as Victoria lake in December.

"Isn't it meaningless right now?"Noin asked softly.

Zechs had long let go any illusions of peace. The notion of pacifism was lost along with his country. Fighting for the OZ organization was not only necessary, it was the only way he would be able to make a significant impact on the world as a mobile suit pilot, and perhaps one day liberate his home.

He remained silent for a long while, his head down and his brow furrowed in thought. At last he raised his head again and told his friend the thought that's been keeping him going, without going into detail.

When he finally answered, his voice sounded calm again. "There is a meaning, as long as there is something to fight for. Something to protect."

"Is that why you're here, Zechs? To protect someone?"

There had been times before, when she wanted to raise the issue, but she always held back and swallowed her words. Not because she was afraid to anger him, but because she was afraid to remind him of the things he was so desperately trying to forget.

"All I can tell you right now is that I want to be a mobile suit pilot. It's one step closer to my ultimate goal."

Noin was no mind reader, but in that moment, the answer(revenge)was as clear as day. It was in his blue eyes that had become cold and distant.

"By the way, Noin, you haven't told me your motives to become a soldier. It is quite apparent you dislike the idea of battling."

"You're right", she answered dreamily. "I hate war. I just love outer space."

They would (hopefully) be going to space soon. Instructor Treize announced his intentions of the top ten students accompanying him to Colony X18999 for additional training, and to gain experience in their first real battles. Many students were excited at this prospect, but the special training and piloting mobile suits didn't interest Noin very much. She looked forward to experiencing the soundlessness and velvety darkness of space and seeing the stars up close for the first time. She desperately wanted to see Treize again as well, and the idea of spending one on one time with him made her blush.

Zechs squinted to protect himself from the blinding sunlight, and from the corner of his eye he saw Noin 'saving' a little caterpillar that had tumbled from a blade of grass onto its back.

There were some things you never let yourself forget. Zechs had come to believe that the smallest, most insignificant things, the things that the rational world usually dismisses; such as saving caterpillars , enjoying a quiet afternoon together, and the way Noin's eyes sparkled when the sun caught them, were the little memories that lasted the longest. However unimportant and silly they might be, they defied forgetting. And that was good. She was good. Noin brought out the best in him.

'She doesn't belong here,' he thought.

'I have you to protect now too, Noin.'

11. 25 PM, Noin's dorm

It was already quite late when Noin finally put away her books. Although the exams were over for now, she'd been revising the workings of the most common OZ mobile suits – and its space modifications. Zechs left an hour ago to get some exercise at the gym before bed, a thing he often did at night. It was easier to work out without the scorching heat, and it helped him sleep.

He still suffered from restless sleep and had nightmares from time to time, and ever since that first night when he woke her, they shared an unspoken agreement.

Whenever he was plagued by nightmares or the stress got to him, which had certainly been the case the last week, she would allow him the comfort of sleeping next to her. They wasn't anything awkward about it, they never really talked about it much, and by the time she woke up, he was usually gone. It was just another secret in their strange friendship, one she actually quite liked.

Zechs wasn't the only one who benefited from their sleeping arrangement. Having him close didn't magically cure the insomnia she'd been struggling with for years, but it was comforting to drift off listening to his steady breathing and heartbeat, nonetheless. It kept the darkness at bay.

A soft rapping on the door startled her, breaking her train of thought.

"Noin, are you still awake? It's me."

She'd completely forgotten about locking the door. Pulling all-nighters studying for the exams really hadn't helped her short time memory at all.

"Yeah, I'm up. Sorry." She got to her feet and quickly let him in.

He came in, removed his officer's jacket and with some difficulty his boots, and sat down next to Noin on the bed.

"Noin, I've been thinking about earlier today…I'm sorry I got upset with you. I usually don't let my emotions get out of control, but discussing my past isn't easy for me. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just…" -

"Zechs, it's perfectly fine. I didn't mean to make you angry, or uncomfortable. Please just forget I brought it up. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and I'd really like to get some sleep. On my own." Having said that, Noin demonstratively turned away from Zechs, pretending to sleep.

A pang of guilt hit him.

"I thought you didn't like to be alone," he whispered, gently caressing her cheek.

She moved away from him, and trying not to sound frustrated, answered: "I don't."

"Then look at me."

She turned around slowly, reluctantly, and when she did, her internal core temperature dropped at least 20 degrees. Zechs was still sitting on the bed, but his silver helmet was now resting next to him. When she moved, it fell on the floor, making a loud clunking noise.

Noin felt her heart clench tightly in her chest. She felt almost guilty for looking at him, feeling as though she were seeing something she wasn't supposed to, and didn't fully deserve his trust.

"Zechs…you don't have to do this," she started to say, but he cut her off. Maybe because he already loved her a little, or maybe because it was now, or never.

Her crush on her instructor temporarily forgotten, she realized she was staring - mesmerized, but couldn't keep her eyes off him.

'I knew he wasn't a burn victim,' she thought. And then, as an afterthought: 'He's the most handsome man I've ever seen.'

"Not bad," she said instead, and that broke the ice. Zechs gave her one of his rare smiles, and sighed in relief. For a moment he had been assailed with a terrible doubt, and he hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until she said something.

"Thank you. You're not too bad yourself, Noin."

That was quite the understatement. Her eyes were bright with pleasure, bringing out the unique dark blueish color he couldn't quite identify. He thought she looked very, very pretty, and he'd never thought her face would ever be this close to his.

Noin carefully brushed his long platinum bangs out of his face, revealing eyes that were the softest light blue. He didn't wince as she ran her fingers through his silky smooth hair, and traced the smooth lines of his high cheekbones, his small, slightly upturned nose and his forehead. Zechs wasn't used to such displays of affection and carefully tried to move her hand from his face, but she wouldn't be deterred so easily. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead, right between his eyes.

"When's the last time anyone did this?" Noin wondered.

"I don't remember, but don't let go of me."

They sat like this for a long time, till Noin broke the silence again with a question she later regretted asking.

"If you ever want to talk about it…-"

A part of Zechs went numb. A bolt of shock ripped into his heart and she felt him tense in her arms. Noin decided to back off a little for now, giving him back his personal space.

"Not yet."

"It's okay, Zechs, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm sorry." He felt guilty for making her feel as though he didn't trust her. He considered telling her everything, all the things he'd bottled up for over a decade, but the time wasn't right for a story so heavy, and Noin had plenty to take in today as it was.

"Are you sure it's all right?"

He needed to hear her say it one last time. Needed to.

"Stop worrying. Everything's good," came the sleepy reply.

He relaxed again. Zechs was hopeful she could learn to love him someday, as long as she didn't know too much about him. What worried him was that when she'd learn the truth about him, the full truth, she'd turn away from him. Mostly he couldn't unburden all to her because they were his problems, and sometimes it was better to keep up a front – kinder, for the both of them, though that front was now cracking and slowly disintegrating.

He still needed something more from her, though, a promise she'd still be around after hearing about his tragic history. They had talked for most of the night, and Zechs decided to get some rest himself. Living in the past takes up a surprising amount of a person's time. He settled onto his back, and Noin gently pressed up against his side.

He would give it some time, at least until the training mission in outer space was over. He had a feeling it would be a changing point in their lives, somehow.

A.N.: I know I took my sweet time, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, it really means a lot, and you guys really motivate me to write more.

- Shiny