Chapter Four
Two weeks later
After staying in the Heffley household for a month, to Kitten and I, it was beginning to feel like a second home. We saw our parents nearly every day, and they joined us for dinner every Wednesday night, which was nice, like it was a small piece of my old life still with us. This was a different chapter of my life, not only because I was now a sophomore, but because everything that I took for granted, like having our own house or living with parents was now changed. Even the Heffley's started acting differently. Greg was becoming less shy around me, and was like a little brother. Mrs Heffley was great. Mr Heffley generally stayed out of everyone's way, but was still kind. And Rodrick...well, he was somewhat more civil. But he refused to drive Greg any more.
"Who wants to go out for ice cream?" Mrs Heffley walked into the living room where Greg, Rodrick and I were watching the Big Bang Theory. It was Friday and I was so glad for the weekend. I wasn't even slightly prepared for the amount of work we were doing at school, so having some time where I could mindlessly watch some stupid sitcom was a relief for me.
"I'm super down for some frozen treats" I said
"Mmmm, ice cream sounds good" Greg sighed, happily
"OK" Rodrick shrugs. We all stared at him. He was prone to hating going anywhere with his family in public. I wasn't sure how he felt about Kitten and I, but I assumed he regarded being seen in public with us with the same amount of hostility. I had never tested this hypothesis. It wasn't like we were really ever alone together, doing the same thing.
It was decided upon that the four of us would go to the ice creamery, since Mr Heffley and Manny were at home and Kitten had disappeared to a friend's house for the night. We pilled into Mrs Heffley's car, and it was such a relief to not be with someone who drove like a maniac, that I could have burst into happy tears.
What we didn't take into account was how crowded the ice creamery would be for a Friday night, and we had to get two different two-seat tables. Greg immediately took one with Mrs Heffley, which left me to sit alone with Rodrick.
"You know, to a person, this could look like a date" Rodrick whispered
"It probably does. You know, people at school keep asking me if we're dating, because you drive me everyday. That's pretty stupid, basing somebody's relationship status on the fact that they are in a car with some else. That would mean that bus drivers would be super into polyamory" I mutter back, blabbing nervously
He laughed and then appeared to ponder about it for a moment "Let them think what they want" He smiled at me for the second time in a month. I noticed his teeth were fairly nice, not perfect, but nice. Charming teeth. Endearing teeth.
OK, Florence, stop thinking about that.
"You should be flattered, anyway" he looked straight at me, which gave me a small flutter of nervousness. I had no idea why, I was usually fairly comfortable with eye contact, being a somewhat assertive person myself.
"I'm not easily impressed"
"I can tell"
"Are you calling me hard to please?" I challenge him
"Maybe I am" he leans forward towards me and my pathetic heart sped up slightly
Despite his arrogance and vanity, why does he make me feel, well, feelings? It wasn't as if I liked him much. Not his personality anyway. But sometimes there was little flutters in between, like he was hiding the side of himself with proper human feelings. Like when he smiled at me. When I hit my head. Sometimes when we are driving and I see him look at me out of the corner of his eye. When he plays the drums for his band and all I can see is pure determination. When he falls asleep and there is nothing but bliss on his face.
"How about we declare a truce?" I suggest and Rodrick leans back in his chair, away from me. His expression is inscrutable.
"Sure, what the hell" Rodrick nods
"OK, so we have to shake on it" I put my hand forward for him to shake and he grips it lightly, like he doesn't know what to make of me and shakes it. His hand could almost swallow my hand, in its largeness. Not that Rodrick had ginormous hands or anything. My hands were just tiny. It felt safe, not like he could eat me alive.
I quickly let go of his hand before I get too attached, literally or figuratively. We both order chocolate fudge sundaes, my favourite thing on the menu, in a true rom-com fashion with the whole "I'll have what she's having" line being said.
However, nothing can be truly enjoyable for everyone until I humiliate myself. And I do not fail. When the sundaes arrive, I make the extremely erroneous mistake of putting too much in my mouth at once.
"BRAIN FREEZE! BRAIN FREEZE!" I shriek and Rodrick chuckles at my misfortune
"That shows you what happens when you're greedy" he shakes his head and grins smugly
"Don't be smug" I shake a threatening finger at him
"I will be as smug as I want to be"
"Remember the truce" I remind him
"Being smug is not an insult"
"Yes it is! It's taking delight in other people's misfortunes"
"Do you have to be so damn technical?" he rolls his eyes
"I will be as freaking technical as I like"
"Remember the truce" Rodrick mimics, in a high pitched voice that sounds nothing like me
"That sounds nothing like me, you knob"
"Seriously? Knob? Manny's given me better names than that" he looks bemused
"I like to keep it G-rated"
"Whatever helps you sleep at night" he ruffles my hair, in a slightly belittling manner.
"Are you stealing my lame statements? This is out of the question! That's copyrighted!" I cry, outraged.
"I think we've destroyed the truce"
"OK, starting from now, if you can't say anything nice, you can't say anything at all" I declare
"You stole that from Bambi! That's copyrighted!" he cried, doing a mock-outraged expression
"OK you win!" I exclaim, exasperated. Then add, "You've seen Bambi?"
"Uh, years ago" he mutters, not looking so smug now
"HAHAHA! Rodrick Heffley, resident bad-boy watched Bambi!" now I was the one with the smug expression
"I WATCHED IT WHEN I WAS TWELVE!" he said, rather loudly, causing several people to turn around
"Rodrick, I last watched it when I was seven" I say slowly, and then erupt into laughter. Rodrick thought he was a bad boy when he was twelve. That's something I'm going to rub in his face.
"So? What's your point?" he said, leaning towards me again.
"I'm more hardcore than you" I shrugged
"Prove it" he challenged
...
That's how we ended up, sitting on a couch, putting on the most violent movie we could find. Not surprisingly it's 18+. I already feel more badass.
The challenge was to not to look away from the screen at all, no matter how bad the gore gets. The loser had to do what the winner wanted them to do.
"I heard this one is the goriest" Rodrick tells me, obviously trying to freak me out
"So? I've seen the trailer to the Human Centipede"
"I've seen the movie" Rodrick responds, raising an unimpressed eyebrow
I shrug and the movie starts. It is really gory and I can't help but wince at some scenes. I notice Rodrick doing the same. We both sit in silence for a while, wincing and making faces at the screen. It comes towards the end of the movie, where lots of people are being killed and I wonder who will survive-
"Arghh! I can't watch anymore!" Rodrick yells and looks away. I jump up and whoop.
"I AM VICTORIOUS!" I exclaim, just as someone on the TV screams
"Now what?" Rodrick demands, still looking away from the screen. I think for a moment and then decide
"You have to get down on your hands and knees, bow to me and say, 'you, my queen, are the most incredible girl I have ever met. I endeavour to be as wonderful, and badass as you'" I command, smirking.
"You're serious?" he looks at me like I'm crazy
"Deadly" I smirk even harder. Rodrick sighs
"You, my queen, are the most incredible girl I have ever met. I endeavour to be as wonderful, and badass as you. Are you happy now?" he bows and I fall apart laughing
"I didn't expect you to actually do that!" I manage to say, between laughs. Rodrick smiles and starts laughing too and soon, we are both out of breath
"You know what? You're not half bad" Rodrick tells me, with a grin
"You're not too bad yourself" I respond and I know I have finally gotten on Rodrick Heffley's good side.