The Parimina Rift, Again, Late Night... Whatever day it is

You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to be the damsel in distress. She was always the same character in all the stories - the lonely princess trapped in a dark tower by an evil witch, and the prince would always swoop in and save her, kill the witch, and then they'd ride off into the sunset, where the princess's long-lost family was waiting with open arms and a big wedding planned for her and her savior. I loved that. No matter what happened to her, she always got a happy ending and she always fell in love with a handsome stranger.

I used to think that was so cool, and then I grew up some and I realized that Prince Charming is a moron and totally boring anyway, and the damsels in distress never actually did anything except get captured. I started to think, wouldn't it be cool to be the evil witch? Now, that is a job I can sink my teeth into, let me tell ya.

And now... Gods, I don't know. The witch always dies in the end, and besides, I can't be that evil. But I got a taste of the damsel in distress and that was not all what it was cracked up to be. I mean, yeah, a handsome stranger did technically come to my rescue, but he kind of screwed up (I'm thinking the mistake was letting Vaan come along) and the bad guys just let me go anyway.

Plus, the bad guys? Were not sexy evil witches.

Why am I even thinking about this? I mean, there's a whole lot more to think about - what's going on up at the Mountain, is Aiden okay, who told Vaan he could eat all my food, what's going to happen to Larsa now that his father is dead, what's going to happen to Dalmasca now that Gramis is dead, what's going to happen to Archadia now that Gramis is dead...

I guess it's just too much, you know? I can't answer of these things and I can't make them right. For all I know, Aiden is dead and the Mountain is being destroyed. And I'm stuck out here in the blizzard without food and it's cold and I can't sleep and I can't think and

Had a talk with Basch. I guess he heard me writing and came in to see why I wasn't sleeping. I might have been sobbing, too. I feel kind of bad about it because I don't think he really knows how to deal with crying, hungry, sleep-deprived mages, but he did his best (and he gave me Vaan's rations for the day, explaining that it was probably just a misunderstanding).

I kind of couldn't shut up. I sat there and cried and I told him everything. How scared I am about Aiden and the others on the Mountain, how I'm worried about Dalmasca and Archadia and Larsa, and even about how I really, really wanted someone to swoop in and save me.

He didn't call me childish. He just laughed and said that he used to think that Knights were the coolest things in the world, which is why he decided to become one.

"I think we were both wrong, weren't we?" and that was all he said about it. He also told me that I'm not the only one worried about Dalmasca and Larsa now that the Emperor is dead, and that he worries about the children on the Mountain as well. And apparently, everything is really bothering Ashe, too. He said that it's frustrating to feel so useless, but until the blizzard dies down enough for us to walk, there isn't anything any of us could do.

Is it weird that he's kind of become the father of the group? He looks out for us, Vaan and me especially, showing us how to use unfamiliar weapons and reassuring us that we are not pathetic fighters and making sure we don't get hit by any really awful spells. It's nice to have a dad again, even if he isn't really... you know.

Balthier is the sort-of-brother, Basch is the sort-of-father, Fran is... Well, I guess Fran's the closest thing this group has to a mother, being all regal and older and such. Ashe is the awesome older sister, while Vaan and I - we're the obnoxious little siblings.

See? One big happy family.

Except that I'm pretty sure Ashe has a thing for Balthier and Vaan has it bad for Ashe (and Fran, sometimes), Balthier may or may not be sleeping with Fran, while I've got a crush on - um, several guys. Considering how often Vaan reads this behind my back, I am not going into any details. The last time I made that mistake, he teased me about being madly in love with Balthier for over a week, and I have this horrible suspicion that Balthier heard about it.

I know for a fact Larsa did. Ever had to explain to a twelve-year-old that your best friend is a complete idiot and has no idea how to deal with people, and why this means that you aren't in love with a sky pirate?

No?

It's not fun.

Ugh. I may as well try to sleep.

The Golmore Jungle, Roughly Sunset

I don't want to go into any detail about what happened back at the Mountain. In short, they were attacked by Archadian forces. We fought and killed Judge Bergan, who was possessed by something vaguely resembling a Hallowe'en costume, and then we set about trying to find survivors. There were a lot, but they were all kind of panicked.

Aiden is alive. His mother isn't. One of the Acolytes was taking care of him when we got there. I offered to take him back to Rabanastre with me, but then Vaan reminded me that I didn't really have a house and all I could do for him was pass him on to Migelo, and that wouldn't be much of a life. I tried to say that I could just stay in Rabanastre with him, but Ashe told me that she needed me in the group. It was... strange.

Aiden gave me a huge hug and kept asking me where his mother was, so I told him that she was gone to a better place because I never really followed religion and I don't know what happens to people when they die. The acolyte smiled at me when I said it, so I must have done something right. It was hard not to cry.

Anyway, we're on our way back to Rabanastre, with a whole bunch of loot to sell and buy better weapons, if Rabanastre even has them. Vaan's talking about getting a bigger spear (which I did tease him about, for the record). I worry about him sometimes. He thinks he can handle these huge, terrifying weapons and he's not really that big or strong. I swear, one of these days, he's going to smack himself in the face with a spear and get eaten by a big monster.

...I'm trying, okay? It's really, really hard to laugh right now. I told Balthier about Vaan accidentally killing himself with a spear and he actually snickered, but that's the best I've managed to get out of the group so far. It's frustrating to be stuck here and everyone is down and we're all worried sick about everyone back home and up at the Mountain and ugh.

Breathe, Pen. It's all gonna work out. It's all gonna work out. It's all gonna work out.

Oh, man. I'm up to cook tonight. Beautiful.

ARGH MALBORO.

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THIS DAMN JUNGLE. NOW I HAVE MALBORO GUTS ALL OVER MY CLOTHES.

And Vaan? Your little "rescue Penelo from the evil monster" thing? Did not help. I was already zapping it to Annoying Monster Hell with lightning. Leaping at it from above with your stupid spear did nothing but splatter us with cooked Malboro and get yourself shocked.

(Though I admit, the spazzed-out hair you've got going on cracks me up every time I look at you. And for the record, there's a reason Ashe is ignoring you. It's because you look like a fool and you smell like dead monster and if she so much as glances at your hair she's going to burst into hysterical laughter. And you missed Balthier's unrestrained guffaws because you were too busy trying to clean your spear. I'm glad someone's enjoying this.)

Everyone's getting fried Malboro Vines for supper, though, because guess who sabatoged the soup I was making? First, the Malboro tried to get into it, but I was dealing with that. But it was Vaan's superhero-yell-fly-down-from-a-tree-and-stab-the-evil-beast thing that sloshed half the soup out of the pot, and then his zapped-by-lightning-and-dying-monster trick that took out the rest of it.

Oddly enough, no one is teasing him about it. Probably because he looks so pathetic. He's covered in Malboro guts, all of his hair is sticking straight up (including his eyebrows), and both of his thighs are scorched from the soup. I managed to swallow my laughter and annoyance and thanked him for his epic rescue.

He looked kind of sheepish and told me that I probably could have taken care of it, but he was already coming and, well... Poor guy. I'd feel bad for him if I didn't smell like Fried Fiend.

I hope this doesn't taste as bad as it smells.

Apparently, Malboros give Viera food poisoning. Did not know this.

Oops.

A/N: I hate those stupid horizontal lines. Sorry for the huge wait. Um, I don't have a good excuse. I actually promised myself I'd get them to Nalbina by the end of the chapter, but the Golmore Jungle was more fun. Besides, the image of Vaan post-lightning-zap? Can you imagine that? Please. Take a moment to visualize this.

Now, then. Nalbina? Can wait, y/y?

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