Misconceptions and Misunderstandings

Chapter 04

Kagome ran until there was nowhere to run. She stood on the beach. Nothing but ocean before her. Collapsing on the sand, she gave in to the pain. Inuyasha had hurt her so many times in the past. But no matter how many times he would sneak off to visit Kikyo, it never hurt like this. She had loved Sesshoumaru in a way that she had never loved Inuyasha. When they had broken up she had understood that what she felt for him had not been a forever love. He was unlike anyone she had ever met before. He had rescued her from her boring life. But he was not meant to be her life.

Sesshoumaru had been everything she ever wanted. He was strong. He was mature. He was dependable. He had no dead lovers lurking in the shadows. He made her feel alive. Special. She had known five hundred years ago that he was capable of great love, even if he could not bring himself to show it then. She could see it in the way he cared for Rin. An insignificant human child. A slip of a girl that was far beneath the notice of the great Lord of the West. Yet he cared for her himself. Raised her as his own. She had been given a glimpse of the man he could be if he lost some of his arrogance. Learned to express his feelings.

Now five hundred years later, he had lost some of the arrogance. He had learned to express his feelings. Unfortunately not all of the feelings he learned to express were positive ones. She hugged her legs, resting her head on her knees as she stared out at the ocean. She thought back to the past. How many times had she caught Inuyasha with Kikyo and overreacted? Learned after she had done something foolish that the meeting had been innocent? Was Sesshoumaru any less fallible? After all he wasn't perfect. She had to smile. No matter if he did think so.

Could she forgive him? That is the decision she had to make. Could they start over as he had asked? If he had trusted her more. If she had told him. If he had confronted her with his suspicions. If she had insisted on answers. If. IF. IF! There were too many ifs. Her head was spinning. They were married. She had told him she wouldn't agree to a divorce. What did that leave? Either go on as strangers living separate lives, which wasn't fair to either of them, or forgive him and start over. Could they ever be happy again?

She didn't know how long she had sat there with her thoughts when she noticed him standing beside her, his long silver hair blowing in the soft ocean breeze. He stared out over the horizon, not looking at her. "You should come in. It will be dark soon. The path is difficult to find in the dark. I would have made dinner, but without a microwave I'm afraid I'm lost." She hid her smile. If it weren't for servants… She got up and dusted off her shorts. Not waiting for him, she made her way back to the cottage. She was no closer to a decision than when she started.

When he walked in she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. "Is there anything I can do to help?" She looked over her shoulder at him. "No. It's fine. I'll let you know when I am done." She turned back to her task. He put his hands in his pockets and walked out onto the veranda. The sun had begun to set and the shadows of the jungle foliage seemed to mock him. As darkness descended, it seemed to be telling him that his future was just as dark. Kagome was his light. He refused to think of a future without her in it.

He was still staring into the darkness when Kagome called out to him. "Dinner is ready." He turned toward the door. How long had he been doing nothing but contemplating the darkness? For some time apparently. He sat down at the table and she sat across from him. She reached for her plate and he took it from her. He filled it for her as she watched him closely. She wasn't as familiar with demon customs as she should be after so many years of associating herself with them. But if she remembered correctly, it was the demon custom for the male to serve the female during courtship to symbolize his ability to provide for her.

Why would he do that? They were already married. It was something he would do for a prospective mate. Did he wish to mate her? Their marriage was already a disaster. Mating was permanent. Something she would have accepted, would have even been happy about six months ago. Now… She took the plate from him. "I'm a big girl. I can get my own food." He frowned but let her have it. She was going to make this as difficult as possible. He picked up his plate and filled it. The food smelled good. She had cooked for him before. He'd had dinner at her apartment several times before their marriage.

They ate in silence. When they were done, Kagome took the dishes. He stood up. "Let me do them." She stopped in her tracks. Never in a million years would she have thought to hear him volunteer to do something as domestic as washing dishes. She looked over her shoulder to make sure there wasn't something wrong with him. He took the dishes from her and walked around her. "It's only fair. You cooked. I'll do the dishes." "But…" He smiled at her. "Just because I can afford servants doesn't mean I can't fend for myself if I have to. Go and relax. I won't be long."

She walked outside to stare into the darkness, much as he had done. She had been so angry earlier. Now she didn't know what she felt. He had apologized for his mistake, although to her it was more than a simple mistake. It had almost destroyed her. It had robbed her of six months of her life. He had dragged her out here in the middle of nowhere. Now she was alone with him and he was trying to court her. Did he really think it was so simple? Did he really think that she could forgive and forget so easily?

And what about him? He had believed from that night that she had betrayed him. He had turned away from her and his love for her. Now that he knew he'd been wrong, had his feelings just snapped back? Did he think to pick up as if nothing had happened? And what of the intimate side of marriage? True the one time had been less than she had hoped for, but she now understood why. She had told him she wouldn't divorce him before she had learned that he wasn't asking for one. She knew that he would want pups. He would need an heir to his empire. Could she give him one? Could she do what was necessary to provide for his needs? The answers to her questions eluded her as she heard him moving about inside.

Sesshoumaru rolled up his sleeves after he poured the last of the heated water into the sink. He should be angry. She had refused his courtship. He knew she was aware of what he had been doing. She was not completely ignorant of demon laws and rituals. He had thought to show her he was serious by following the customs of his heritage. He had always intended to make her his mate though he had never told her. He would have marked her on their wedding night if things had not gone so horribly wrong. It was well past the time he should have provided an heir for his empire and he wanted Kagome to be the mother of his heir.

He should have already had his heir from her. But after… He had made sure he hadn't pupped her that night. He should have. If he had, then perhaps things would have been different. Having to deal with her on a daily basis, assuring the welfare of his pup, might have kept things from going so wrong. Might have made him come to his senses sooner. Before he had done so much damage to their relationship. That's why he couldn't be angry now. She had already suffered for his anger. She had every right to refuse him now. He just needed to find a way to change her mind. And if he succeeded, he would mate her, pup her, and keep her by his side forever.

He finished the dishes. She was still outside. Still avoiding him. He had an idea. He started more water heating. The bathroom wasn't large but it did have a decent sized tub. She had frequented the hot springs in the past. He had a suspicion that his Kagome had a weakness for a hot bath. He smirked. Well, if she wanted this one, she would have to share it. A plan was forming in his head. While it was true he had not seen to her pleasure on their wedding night, she had not shown an aversion to the act. He was reasonably certain that she could be tempted, and that is what he set out to do. If he could make her want him, then he had her. Then he could show her how much he wanted her.

The bathroom had running water, but it was cold. He suspected its source was the waterfall he had found while exploring earlier. He filled the tub with the heated water and added enough cold to it to make it a comfortable temperature for a human. She still had not come inside. He went to the bedroom and stripped off his clothes. Walking back to the bathroom naked, he heard a small gasp. He turned to look into the eyes of his wife. She was trying very hard to look him in the face. She was less than successful.

"Sesshoumaru, what do you think you're doing?" He gave her a bored look. "I believe it would be called taking a bath. Are you not familiar with the concept?" He chuckled inwardly at the anger he could feel coming from her. "Just make sure you don't use all the hot water. I'd like one too." He frowned in mock regret. "I'm sorry. You should have said something earlier. There is no running hot water as you are aware. I had to heat water for the dishes and I had to heat water for my bath. Unless you wish to spend the next hour heating more water, you will have to take yours cold." He cocked his head to the side. "I suppose I could share if you insist."

"As if." Kagome huffed. She turned around and walked back down the hall. He smiled to himself and closed the bathroom door behind him. She was trembling by the time she sat down on the couch. With anger most assuredly. But underneath there was something else. Something she didn't want to think about. She heard the splash as he entered the bath and tried not to think about the body he was washing. While she had lost weight, his body was still lean and muscled. Rock hard. Well except for that one part. It hadn't seemed to bother him at all that she was staring at his naked body. He was unaffected by her appraisal, and to her mortification she knew he was aware of it.

Sesshoumaru lowered himself into the bath. Leaning his head back, he relaxed. He was glad for the iron control that he'd perfected over the centuries. There was no way he could have remained outwardly unaffected without it. If he had given in to his instincts, he would have been hard in an instant with the way she was looking at him. He would have to be careful in his little game with her, or his beast would take over and take the decision out of both their hands.

Kagome got up to pace. She was sweaty. She itched. There was sand everywhere. She really wanted a hot bath. His little speech had told her he would not be heating any water for her. She was on her own. It would take forever. It wasn't like she hadn't bathed with others before. It wasn't like she hadn't seen him naked before. They were married after all. She was capable of resisting if he wanted more than a bath. Well not if he got serious, or let his beast out. But he wouldn't do that. Whatever else she thought of him right now, she knew he wouldn't force her.

Her mind made up, she went into the bedroom and quickly stripped. Throwing on her yukata, she hurried to the bathroom before he finished and let the water out. She opened the door and stepped in. Expecting a mocking comment about changing her mind, she was surprised when he only made room for her to join him. She slowly dropped the yukata and lowered herself into the water with her back to him.

Several comments came to his mind, but none he thought would further his cause. All, he decided, would only hinder it. So he said nothing. Slowly dropping the yukata had been torture as inch after inch of her skin was revealed. Even with the weight she had lost, her body was all woman. He was afforded a lovely view of her backside as she stepped into the tub with her back to him. He wondered if she was aware. It took every ounce of control he had not to touch her.

"I am almost finished. Would you like me to wash your back?" The refusal came quickly to her lips, but she thought about all the sand and sweat. "Yes. Thank you." He poured the soap into his hands and began to run them over her back. She flinched. "I would prefer you use a washcloth please." He continued his motions. "I'm sorry Kagome. There aren't any. Only towels. And only four of those. We will need them to dry our bodies and hair." She gritted her teeth and tried to think of anything but his hands on her body.

This was so much better than he had planned. It seemed that fate was on his side. He gently massaged her shoulders and neck as he washed her back. She could feel the tension melt away as his hands worked their magic. He had kept his touch nonsexual and almost impersonal. He tilted her head back and wet her hair. She leaned back against him as he massaged the soap into her scalp. His fingers threaded through her hair and his nails lightly scratched. She was almost moaning in pleasure when he tilted her head back again to rinse out the soap.

He smiled to himself. She was quite unaware that he was able to see her breasts when she leaned back. They were pert and full, the nipples puckered in the cool evening air. His didn't rein in his thoughts in time and she sat up quickly when she felt his loss of control poking her in the back. She finished washing and left the bath without a word, grabbing hr yukata and two of the towels. He had hoped to have more time with her, but he was satisfied with his progress. She was not immune to him. Even if it was only lust, at least she felt something. He dunked his head and washed his own hair. He had hoped to convince her to do it for him. Was she aware that grooming a prospective mate was another courtship ritual?

Kagome dried quickly and wrapped her yukata around her body. She squeezed the water out of her hair and toweled it almost dry. What had she been thinking? After her reaction to his nakedness in the hall, the last place she should have been was naked in the bath with him. She thought about what she had felt. It was obvious he wanted her. Had he truly allowed his control to slip that much, or was this a calculated plan? Either way she would have her guard up from now on.

She looked up as he walked out of the bathroom. He had one towel wrapped around his hips. He was drying his considerable mass of silver hair with the other. Stopping in the doorway to the bedroom, he asked. "Would you mind removing the tangles for me?" She sucked in a breath. She had always loved his hair. She had looked forward to brushing it for him every night. Biting her lip, she got up and walked toward him. "I suppose." He sat down on the bed. He had thought about removing the towel first, but that would have only sent her scurrying for safety. He would take it slow. For now she had agreed to groom him. He would be happy with that.

He sighed in pleasure as she slowly worked the tangles from his hair. He had always enjoyed having his hair groomed. In the distant past he had personal slaves who saw to his grooming since he had no mate. He enjoyed it so much more now that he had a mate to do it. She was being incredibly gentle. When her fingers brushed against his ear accidentally, he almost came off the bed. His ears were one of his erogenous zones and he had to be careful not to let her see how the brief contact had affected him. It was fortunate that she was behind him. It would give him time to calm himself.

When she was satisfied that she had all of the tangles out of his hair, she couldn't resist stroking the comb through it a few more times. He really had such beautiful hair. She was glad that his concealment spell didn't work on her. She knew that to normal humans his hair appeared short in the human businessman's style. And his pointed elf like ears appeared as a normal human's. She wondered if he knew that her accidental touch earlier had not been accidental. She had to stop thinking those thoughts.

She slid off the bed and laid the comb on the small dresser. "I'm done. I guess I'll see you in the morning." She had gotten to the door when she heard his softly whispered, "Thank you." She nodded. "You're welcome." He watched her go. He debated which would most serve his goals. Being a gentleman and letting her have the bed. Or sticking to his original plan and letting her discomfort talk her into sharing the bed. Making his decision he removed the towel from his hips and draped it over the chair before climbing beneath the sheets.

To be continued….