A/N: Thank you reviewers! As susual you guys keep me going! I'm hoping to get these up faster, but you never know... Enjoy!
It's like reading an old book, you know how the story goes, but you forget some parts. And there are even some parts you're sure weren't there before, and how you interpret it, the overall meaning, it's changed. Harry's changed and I suppose I have too. He sits a little too comfortably, as if he's trying and supports his head with his hand. The conversation isn't easy but it's comfortable, familiar.
"So this is how the story ends? Ron Weasley, the search to prove himself, all that, you've given up to become world's most famous bum?" He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"It's more that I'm on a break, you know? Laying back until I'm ready to kick it into the working world," I explain. "That what you've been doing all this time, no letters? Auror training?" He tilts his head to one side and sighs a little.
"It's what I was doing, until I realized that most of this world still thinks of me as a celebrity. A pretty face to put in the papers, I didn't get any real cases, little side stuff, mostly."
"People are assholes. You can defeat the most powerful dark lord of our time, but they still think your soft. Not to mention that you don't have a pretty face." Harry grins and slugs me in the shoulder.
"Seriously though, it got to be so pointless. Even the big cases, it's like, I saw fucking Lucious Malfoy kill person after person, but they still let shit like him walk free, because apparently my word isn't enough. So while we're out there researching, he's killing people," His voice gets harsher, angrier and there's a flame in his eye that I've not seen in too long. "He killed Neville, I'm sure of it." His voice is barely there, a whisper but I feel like he's screaming.
I swear mainly because I can't think of anything else to do, and Harry looks up at me.
"You know, I really honestly thought after he was gone, after that, then this would all end, you know? We win. We get our happily ever after." He shakes his head and the shine in his eyes dulls to nothing.
"I know," I say softly. Harry's stiff sitting upright and grinding his teeth inside his mouth.
"It's almost, almost worse. I never see you anymore, and Hermione... Well, she's like not even human anymore... And everyone is dying. Jesus." His voice cracks and I can see that his hands are shaking. "Ginny, Ginny's so thin," He's whispering again and I suddenly have the urge to punch him, to hurt him, to scream in his face.
"I know." I say again but louder, more abrupt. Harry's eyes move back to me. Neither of us say anything for a while and my throat burns, dry and cracked and I need more.
"I can't stand another funeral," Harry finally says and my stomach twists thinking of all the funeral letters I just tossed aside, all the ones I'd skipped. He stands and walks over to the kitchen grabbing a glass and the fire whiskey from the cupboard, he fills the glass halfway and then fills the rest with butterbeer. "Think I can get Hermione to stop working long enough to say hello?" I loosen up almost immediately still feeling her lips.
"Doubt it," I mutter. And he shrugs tipping back and downing the whole glass. He slams the glass on the table, shakes his head slightly and starts up the stairs.
I yawn letting my head fall back against the back of the chair. I stare up at the ceiling, imagining Harry walking buzzed into my old bedroom, I can almost see Hermione scowling at him and lecturing him. I laugh imagining her, the new her, talking about work, sitting stiff and rigid, and perfect, almost mechanically so. I laugh seeing Harry so incredibly broken and buzzed getting that glint in his eyes and shaking, shaking with anger. I laugh seeing Hermione scowl at it, a little girl scoffing at a broken toy. I laugh seeing her so contained, imagining her at all those funerals one after the other, rolling her eyes at Harry's depressed silence, shaking her head at Ginny's tears, disapproving of my absence, so contained that I want her to break I want to make her scream and yell and laugh and smile, and cry. I want her to cry so badly.
"Ron, are you ok?" Ginny's careful, cautious, a tiny hand resting on my shoulder and the other wiping away at tears I didn't know were falling.
A/N-Cont.: Sigh Sometimes I really depress myself with this stuff.... Please R/R!