Shepard stood poised in the bright boardroom with her hands clasped firmly behind her back; hair immaculate, uniform cleanly pressed and solid navy without the slightest suggestion of lint. Crew members Jacob, Miranda, Mordin and Garrus filed in. Jacob, his military background still foremost in his mind saluted his Commander upon entrance and Garrus gave a nod of respect. Garrus regarded Shepard with interest; he couldn't detect the hopelessness that was in her eyes the night before, it was as if he had dreamed last night's outburst. He wasn't sure what it was that made Shepard pull herself together, maybe he should not have underestimated Liara, she had grown almost to be unrecognisable. Shepard beckoned for them to take seats.

"Shepard, this meeting was meant to take place at eight hundred hours" Miranda declared curtly.

"I'm aware of that, but as the Normandy's commander I saw fit to reschedule" She stressed the 'commander' title and looked pointedly at her executive officer.

"Oh that's right, so you can stroll in here whenever it suits you" Miranda retorted.

"Actually, no. A number of issues have been brought to my attention and I have sought to remedy them"

The Commander proceeded to produce a number of data pads that she distributed amongst the group.

"Since we are going to be here for little under two weeks while Mordin makes use of the labs on Nos Astra, I've done some research on a number of improvements we could apply to our weapons. Horizon finally gave us a clearer idea of the enemy we face and I don't want us to be caught short: I studied weapon test and field reports on the modifications highlighted in your data pads but if there is someone here who has firsthand experience or who has a different opinion on this data I would appreciate hearing about it. Feel free to drop me a message"

The crew members dutifully perused the reams of information before them.

"In addition I've been looking at the schematics for the Normandy. Although the Normandy SR2 is an improvement in many ways to the original Normandy, I believe it would be prudent for us to look into multi core shielding using Cyclonic Barrier Technology. I don't think anyone here is interested in getting shot down by Collectors before we even get to our mission. I know what that's like and I do not wish for a repeat. Last but not least I looked into equipping the ship with a Thanix Cannon which I'm sure Garrus will be reading up on later"

Garrus smiled inwardly; the Javelin Disruptor Torpedo system's firing algorithms were becoming a tad dull for his liking. If there were some sort of multi-terrain vehicle to tinker with as well, things would be perfect.

Shepard continued to go over schematics and mission plans thoroughly with the team, but Miranda maintained her unimpressed expression. She pushed her data pad to the side and crossed her legs.

"What of the Krogan we picked up from Korlus? There could be highly valuable Reaper tech in its body or in that tank; it would be wiser to…" Shepard raised a hand to silence her knowing what she was about to suggest. As far as she was concerned it was out of the question.

"When I decide what to do with him I'll let you know."

The long haired woman was silent for a moment. Miranda's mouth formed a thin line and then she spoke.

"Wasn't it possible to do all of this work in normal working hours on the ship?"

Shepard was really growing weary of Miranda's constant undermining, but she tried her best not to follow her first compulsion to throttle her.

"Miranda, the ship is a fine work of engineering and much more spacious than the Normandy SR-1, however that does not mean I must spend every waking hour on this ship, or was there something in the Illusive Man's job description that I missed?"

Miranda fell silent and remained so when Shepard dismissed them.

When they finally left, Shepard gave a sigh of relief and made her way back to her quarters. She had only just hours ago woken up in a friend's bed and had no idea what to make of it only that she had crossed a line she had never imagined she would have crossed and that it most likely did not bode well, but she was going to try her hardest not to make her butchered personal life come in the way of saving lives and maintaining at least some professionalism. She didn't want to stay at Liara's apartment anymore than she had to but she was also staunchly opposed to doing a walk of shame, even on a Cerberus vessel, so she had headed for the stock market district and used one of the many shower spas that catered to overworked stock brokers who often had no time to go home and freshen up for the next working day. When she woke up she had been worried about where she could buy clothes that would be appropriate for a meeting, but funnily enough Liara had an Alliance Military service dress uniform in her possession which she had offered to Shepard to wear. She had assumed Liara simply owed such things as part of her work but she became curious when she noticed the uniform was a perfect fit, so she had looked inside the jacket for a label. There she discovered her Alliance ID number stitched into the lining. She didn't ask Liara why and how she had come to possess one of her uniforms.

She entered her quarters and slumped at the chair in front of her desk. Unread messages blinked balefully at her from the screen before her and Kaidan's email was nestled a bit below them. That stupid yet heart wrenching email. She had read it so many times and it conjured up so many emotions from hope to despair, from relief to anger, from confusion to acceptance. He had said so much and nothing at the same time and she could only conclude that things were pretty much over between
them. Her thoughts turned to the events on Horizon; how her heart thudded mercilessly in her chest as she pleaded to God that she would reach him before it was too late and her relief like cool rain is a desert at seeing him walking towards her, whole and unharmed. But the tone had changed so quickly it made her head spin. He had said she had betrayed him, betrayed the Alliance. Could he of all people be so blind to the fact that the Alliance was not perfect? She had spoken to him at length about her disapproval of the human expansion into Batarian claimed space and he had nodded his head in agreement at marvelled at how the woman who had held off the Batarian pirate invasion of Elysium could hold such an opinion. She had confided in him about the time she pretty much mutinied against a commanding officer who had given an order she found strategically and morally reprehensible and he had understood her actions. And then he only needed to look at what the Alliance had done to Ashley; depriving a brilliant soldier of the career she deserved because of something that happened before she was even born. The truth was Amanda had never been the 'good' soldier. She had always maintained a sceptical line of thought and had a history of insubordination. It was her results that kept her from being booted from the military or court marshalled. It was probably the reason she sought to climb the ranks and wholeheartedly took on the suggestion of becoming an N7; she never wanted to take orders from another ass hole of an officer again.

It had been the same in the Reds when she realised she was more intelligent than a lot of the gang members twice her age. She played 'fool to catch wise' as Frank would say until she could find an angle to manipulate or muscle her way in. God she missed Frank. Her thoughts turned darker and she began to feel more and more that the Alliance was just another gang she had fell out of favour with. Part of her felt like a charlatan for donning the uniform, while the other half longed for the camaraderie and sense of identity the Alliance had provided her and felt proud. But all of her mourned the love she had lost.