A/N:

Sorry for the super late update! Thanks to all reviewers for giving me encouragements! 3

Bold Italic – memories, flashbacks. If there was (*) at the first sentence, he/she isn't telling to who they are talking to.

Italic – thoughts, what the speaker says in his/her mind.

Special Thanks to Chonkiaarinfantasy for giving me motivation to keep this story going! XD loves ya!3

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! =]

Chapter 4: Goodbye's are beginnings

Wind starting to blew roughly against the green grass, separating the bud from its stem of each flower; creating scenery of a frozen moment.

"L-Lover?" Shiori stammered. "What do you mean by that?"

Tezuka stood and gave a sharp glare at her. "are you playing dumb or just plain stupid?"

Shiori gasped on Tezuka's remarks. "S-Sorry. I-I just can't believe it."

Tezuka turned after staring at her. "Even me…at first."

Shiori just looked at him as he continues.

"At first, I thought it was because of our closeness; because of tennis. Coz' we are like brothers. We knew a lot from each other. Hidden expressions… and hidden emotions. He understands me a lot than my mother does. Then, the night at the training camp changed everything."

* "Tezuka-kun?"

A soft voice startled me, sitting on a long wood bench near the lake. I didn't know why but my heart started to race.

"Fuji.." I softly exclaimed.

"Eh, what are you doing here in this hour?" He asked, with his voice whispering so gently.

It was 12'oclock. All of our team mates might be in dreamland already. I noticed Fuji's clothes; His thin white sleeveless shirt that exposed his slim figure giving me a warm shiver on my stomach. That night was cold. The cold wind feels like ice piercing my skin and Fuji's outfit makes me want to-

"I'm about to ask that too." It cut my thought before it become more… uneasy.

Fuji chuckled like a melody singing with the wind that sways together with the trees.

"Well, I can't sleep." He said as he walked and sat beside me. "How about you, Can't sleep either?"

I look at the lake and gave my usual response. "Ah."

"Do you mind if I join you?"

I turned and smiled. "Sure." He smiled back and began to stare at wide dark sky as he releasing a warm sigh.

"The scene here sure is wonderful. You can't see it in broad daylight." He remarked with amused eyes. His sapphire orbs are sparkling. I remain lost in the radiance of his eyes and drowned on those pools of blue. I went back to my senses when Fuji started rubbing his hands together to make himself warm.

Without a second thought, I took off my jacket and hung it over Fuji's shoulders. Fuji's eyes widened then narrowed by his smile.

"Thanks." He said softly.

"It's nothing. Next time don't go outside with that kind of clothes." I answered yet it seems like I'm scolding him.

Fuji just smiled at me then reached out for my hand nearest to him and held it with his both hands. I gasped in surprise and look at the young boy beside me smiling wider than usual.

"You're hands are cold. That's why I'll give you my warmth." He remarked with a slight tease in it.

I looked away in embarrassment. I was blushing. And I didn't want Fuji to see it.

"Thanks." I replied, trying to maintain my normal tone. Why in the world I feel so embarrass? This isn't natural.

"Haha. Tezuka-kun you're funny."

"Shut up." I didn't look at him. I remained looking at the glimmering lake in front of them.

It feels like hours we've been holding hands even though it's only a matter of minutes. Fuji's hand is silky smooth and so warm. Like velvet caressing my hand. I want to close my eyes and memorize its smoothness when Fuji broke the silence.

"Ne Tezuka." He started.

"What?" I answered out of consciousness.

"I've been noticing that you're not yourself lately. Is something bothering you?" He asked with worried eyes.

He saw it. He really saw it! I've been keeping this all to myself and gave my full best to pretend. But I think it's useless, for him.

"Family and Personal matters and as always… with my father." I paused and looked at him.

"I already said that to you before right? The gap between my father and me..."

He nodded. "I'm sorry for intruding. I'm just worried. You're eyes are lonely than the usual. So I thought it might be something difficult this time. Sorry." He looked down then rose again but with a bright face this time.

"But you know, if you can't carry it all anymore. You can tell me. I'm willing to help you. I'll always be here even if you don't want to." He released his sadistic smile followed by a low giggle.

I was shocked beyond words. How could he see so much? How could he see right through me? How? Why? These questions lingered in my mind. I was lost, once again. I've been keeping these feelings inside me. And now, they are burning; burning more intense. And suddenly, few cold drops splash into my face. Then I saw him, inside the lake sparkling with him. Scooping the water with his hands then throwing it to me.

"Come Mitsu! The water is great!" He exclaimed in happiness.

Mitsu? Did he just call me Mitsu? "You idiot! You might get cold." I scolded, ignoring the phrase I just hear.

"Mou, don't be like a grumpy father now." He whined and added. "Come on! The water is re-AHH!"

With his slight movement he slipped on a stone, tumbling down making a huge splash.

"Fuji!" I shrieked in horror. I hurriedly ran to him. I scooped him with my arms and held his face as he keeps on coughing.

"You BIG IDIOT! Why don't you be a little more careful?" I fired up. I don't know why but I feel really angry... and worried.

He stopped coughing then looked at me. "T-Tezuka? S-Sorry. I'm being careless. Sorry." He apologized as he held my worried face.

Back to "Tezuka" again huh? It shouldn't be a big deal for me but I felt I was going to cry when he said. "I'm Sorry. Please don't cry."

Just like a child. I was shocked as I looked at him. I said nothing. It feels like breath had just escaped from my mouth.

A cool breeze brushed through, together with two arms swiftly trapped an angel in a tight embrace. A very tight embrace. Holding him close… to my heart.

"T-Tezuka?"

"Don't call me like that. I have a name."

"Mitsu…" though I can't see his face, I somewhat know he flushed.

I smiled and close my eyes. "The first time you said you love me. I was really irritated." I said as he looked down, burying his face deeper in my chest. "In the fact that we were both males and we're even like brothers. I thought you were teasing around like you usually do. And I'm afraid my feelings for you will go to waste. That's why I pretend that I never heard it so you might cut the crap and everything will turn back to normal. And I…"

I could feel Fuji's chest hardened as I spoke, controlling his urge not to burst into tears. Then I continued.

"But now I know that I was wrong. For all the ignoring, avoiding, hurting words; instead of cursing me, hating me, you're always there for me and said that it's okay." His hold tightened. "It might be too late for this…" I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away as I said.

"Now let me repay for all of this."

His sapphires widened in surprise and before He could spoke a single word. I caught his lips and sealed it with mine with a tender one. Holding his face and seeking entrance. He gladly opened and played with my tongue. We both gasped for air after we pulled out. Our face was as red as the lights glistering around us. I stare at him and said the words I should've said long time ago.

"I love you so much, Syusuke."

Those words so pure and true touched his heart. He didn't want to cry but his overflowing pearls can't hold back any longer and slowly, one by one, started to pour like rain.

He didn't answer. He couldn't. Something stopped him to spoke. But his eyes were glowing that can't be put into words. He gently encircled his arms around my neck and pulled me closer as he gently whisper to my ear.

"I love you too mitsu. I've always had and forever I will be."

I smiled and sealed him again with a tender kiss. The first time I sealed mine with someone same as me. The first time I become unnatural. The first time I fell hopelessly, madly…in love.

----

Warm wind softly passed by, caressing a broken heart and filling one's broken hope. As the white lilies softly been laid, revealing its hidden beauty… its hidden sorrow.

"Tezuka-san?"

Two pair of auburn eyes cracked wide open. It roamed around, familiarizing every wall and corner. Then a voice gently whispered.

"Dear?" a greenish brown haired woman asked gently, kneeling in front of him with a worried face. "How are you now?"

"A-Ayana? Why am I here?"

"Oishi-kun brought you here. He saw you with Eiji-kun lying unconsciously in the middle of the road. What happening? Kuni-chan hasn't come home since this morning when he left. It's almost dark. I'm so worried." Ayana spoke like she was panicking.

The old man got up and calmed his worried spouse. "Don't worry. I'll go look for him"

"No." Ayana stopped the old man before he could stand up. "You need to rest. Please."

Melted by his wife pleading words, Tezuka-san sat again in defeat.

"Just rest Tezuka-san. We'll go look for him."

"Ah No." Tezuka-san ceased them. "It's better to leave him alone for a while. He had…so many things to straighten out. But thanks for your help Oishi-kun and Eiji-kun."

Oishi and Eiji both nodded. "We're going to take our leave now. If ever we see Tezuka on the way. I'll let him know. "Said Oishi.

"Thank you very much Oishi-kun, Eiji-kun." Ayana thanked.

The two men gave their last goodbyes and left. On the way, Oishi was unexpectedly quiet and Eiji noticed.

"Oishi?" Eiiji broke.

"E-Eh? What is it?" Oishi stammered. Eiji raised his right eyebrow as a response.

"You're awfully quiet since we saw Tezuka's father."

Oishi looked away. "Iya, Its nothing. I'm just thinking." But Eiji suddenly stopped.

"Whats wrong?" Oishi asked, noticing the red boy.

"You don't have to keep it all to yourself. I know how you feel…for buchou and fujiko-chan. But don't carry the entire burden all to yourself. I am too! I am here. If ever you need me… "The small boy looked down, grimaced; with tears forming beside his scarlet orbs.

"Eiji…" Oishi walked toward his sobbing lover and trapped him in a warm hug, holding his head up then sealed the smaller boy cold lips. "Sorry, I didn't mean to keep this. I just don't want to worry you much as you are now. But I see I made it worst. Sorry."

Eiji looked away, shoving Oishi's hand on his face. "You're always like that."

Oishi released a deep sigh and pull the boy closer. "How about staying in my house for tonight? There's no one home except me. It'll be veerryyy lonely to be alone. I think I need some love." He said with a tease on his tone, holding his lover's face and pulling it closer to his.

Eiji flushed. "Baka Oishi."

"May I know what kind of person Fuji is?" She asked.

Tezuka looked down the rose again. "He's a kid of person that can tame even the wildest animal." His eyes were shining as he spoke. Yet, grief slid through his eyes. "a person who can make you smile…even on your saddest moment."

Shiori was silent for awhile. The, she knelt down in front of Fuji's grave and feel the softness of its gravestone.

"Look, his grave smoothens. Even wild flowers started to bloom on his side. "She said as she touched the flower's buds.

Tezuka just looked at her. Still silent on the presence she's releasing right now.

"Ne, Tezuka-kun. Did you know that flowers illustrate life?" Shiori suddenly spoke. Tezuka looked up to her with confusion.

"This bud as you see signifies the beginning, the start of it all. They will grow and blossom into a beautiful flower someday. All they need is some support, hard work and faith to their protector. There will be times they can snap, or fall out of their stem when a strong wind blows and when the right times comes, they're flourished enough to show the whole world what they have become." The young lady paused and stared at Tezuka.

"You… have to be just like the bud. Fuji-kun might be hoping you would be one. To let him see you suffer like this, you're not letting him to rest in peace. I don't know anything, and I know I'm not at the place to scold you. But… you're showing how pathetic and selfish you can be. No one controls the fate neither control someone's life. Set him free Tezuka-kun. That's the best thing you can do for him."

Tezuka didn't talk back. Her words were just like his. Like a knife, breaking the shell he built around his heart. Shiori noticed it and stood.

"I'm not saying this to let you agree to our parents. It's their decisions, not ours. You are free to decline anytime you want. It's your life anyway. And I understand how it feels… so lost something precious. Hope to see you next time." Shiori bowed and left.

Tezuka remained stiff, refreshing the words that Shiori had just said. He put his both hands to his face. Anger, Sorrow, and Longing. He felt his heart overwhelming with this mixed emotions. His lover's death was sudden. Too sudden, that he didn't even have the time to say how much he loves him… How much he could do for him. Tears couldn't hold any longer and escaped his hazels. It's too painful… too painful enough to bear and accept.

"Shuu… I love you so much…"

"How is he?" a deep voice said as it flips the papers he was holding.

"He is already stable. The tumor is already defenseless and will dissolve completely in no time. Although, we haven't seen the possible side effects it seems like we have completed the cure."

The dark-haired man in white coat walked beside the lying lad sleeping peacefully.

"You're perseverance to save him is very outstanding Kousaka-sensei. You're mother will be very proud of you." The other doctor in the room said.

"This research and experiment will be nothing without you Yoshiba-sensei. Thank you so much for guiding me."

"No. You gave it your all. We doctors are so proud of what you have become." Yoshiba smiled and paused. "By the way Kou-kun, what made you persist so hard to save him? Even though, he was just transferred by that company?"

The man felt silent and look the peaceful lad with brown hair. "That is because…"

He stretched out his hand and held his soft cold cheeks.

"… He is special."

Rain poured heavily at the place. Everything was covered with fogs and stripes of water.

Ayana was cooking at the kitchen as her husband lying at the couch, still unable to get up. Then, a knock from the front door startled them. Ayana rushed as Kuniharu tried his best to get up.

"K-Kunimitsu!" Ayana shrieked as he hugged his soaking son, teary eyed. "Where did you go? You're drenched!"

Tezuka, stoned in front of their house as he stares at his father slowly walking towards him.

"I'm ready to be born again. But I still won't agree to this marriage…not until, I'm ready."

Tezuka's words of sincerity froze his parents where they stand. He looked eagerly at his father, giving him the glance and acceptance for his decision.

His father slowly walked towards Tezuka and gave him a light pat on his shoulders.

"I respect your decision son. It was also… rude for me to make you decide on this so easily. Not thinking it's only been 3days since Fuji-kun left. I'm so sorry son."

Tezuka smiled gently at his father as he softly spoke "Thank You."

Ayana gave her boys a tight hug while sobbing.

4 years later

Tezuka drop by the hills before going to Central Hospital. He walked with bouquet of white lilies and tulips towards the headstone near the tree. The sun was brimming bright. The warm rays overlays the blue sky and smudged it with fiery hues. The trees were painted in embers as the fire leaves continue to fall down. He slowly laid the bouquet on the smooth marble and kneeled.

"I'm here again shuu. It's been 4years since you died. I can hardly remember the nights I've gone through without you're by my side. It's really difficult knowing I'm used with you here. But I have to move on can't i? I know that's what you wanted. That's why I tried my best these past years. I'm a doctor now shuu. The dream we both wanted and shared. I will save more lives than I could that I didn't to you. It still pains me. That's why sometimes; I feel deep inside my heart that you're really not dead, that you're just in a faraway place, out of my reach. If ever that happens, I'll find you. Even though years have passed, everything has changed; my feelings for you still remain. I still love you shuu and forever will be. But… I have to say goodbye now, for me to move on completely. You'll always be in my heart and in my memory."

Tezuka gently stood up and feel the caress of autumn breeze touching his bare skin.

"Goodbye Shuu, and I love you."

Meanwhile…

"Kousaka-sensei!! Kousaka-sensei!!!" An intern running down the hallway yelled, catching everyone's attention.

"What in the world are you screaming for? Don't be so loud!" Yoshiba scolded as he walked.

"What's the matter?" Kousaka asked.

"Kousaka-sensei, the patient from room 704 has awakened!"

Hearing the shocking statement of the intern, He dashed through the stairs and climbed up to 7th floor. He could hear Yoshiba shouting "Use the elevator" but he ignored it. His anticipation is overwhelming. As he reached the room, he gently opened the door. On his sigh, reveal a beautiful brunette sitting on the bed. There were nurses already and was taking his condition as well as Doctor Yoshiba.

"Kousaka-sensei, his condition is stable but there is one problem." Said the head nurse.

Kousaka took the record and slowly went beside the young boy staring outside, blank.

"I'm Kousaka Ryuichi, you're doctor. Are you feeling well?"

The young man didn't reply and continued to stare blankly at the trees. The two doctors and the nurses stare at each other.

"Are you feeling anything? Does your head hurt? You can tell me or ask me anything okay?" Kousaka tried.

"I…can ask you…anything?". The young man suddenly spoke, startling them.

"Yes you can. What it is then?"

The honey-haired man turned to him, revealing such beautiful sapphires though his long bangs covered most of it.

"Who am I?"

End of Chapter 4

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