Not so Harmless

Chapter 4: The King is Crowned

Radz awoke in a dark, dingy place. There was no light, he could barely see anything. He turned and saw his brother, Pa'apps, held up in a weird harness, his arms raised high as if in celebration, however it was clear the Tallest was unconscious. Radz tried to move, but found that was in the same position as his brother.

Skoodge walked towards them, smirking cruelly.

"INVADER SKOODGE!"

"Ah, my dear Tallest Radz, a pleasure seeing you again." Skoodge bowed, a mocking smirk upon his lips.

"Enough with your games! Where are we!"

Skoodge sneered. "We are deep, deep underground, beneath the very surface of Irk. You see, I had managed to just barely save you and your brother from being devoured by a temporary black hole."

"WHY!" Radz spat, incredulous. "What was the point of going through all that if you weren't going to kill us!"

"Oh but I have, My Tallest, I have. The only ones who know you're down here are yourselves and I. Everyone else believes that you are dead, and that is good enough. With you gone, a new leader must step forward."

"Ah. And that's where you come in, right?"

"Precisely. You're a lot smarter than I gave you credit for, Radz. But, my plans would still come to pass if I HAD allowed you to die. And the reason I saved you wasn't out of some worthless sense of mercy, that's just not Irken. No, my reasons are much more personal."

Radz glared. "What do you mean?"

Skoodge grinned maliciously. "I have not forgotten how you all treated me. Especially the two of you. Think of this as payback for your awful treatment of myself."

He snapped his fingers and the restraints on Radz and Pa'apps' arms and legs started pulling, and the Tallests cried out in pain.

Skoodge grinned. "Now then, could you get any taller?" He laughed cruelly.

Skool was over for the day, and Dib walked home morosely. He looked up absently and saw that Chihuahua he saw around occasionally.

He sighed. It was weird. He should be happy that Zim is gone, but all he felt was empty. It was possible that Zim was the only thing that gave his life meaning. In the past, everyone would laugh at him and think he was crazy, and sometimes, on the darkest of lonely nights, he entertained the thought that maybe he was.

And then Zim came, and for once, his life had meaning, purpose. He had to beat Zim, save the world from his tyranny. And then, maybe, they would listen to him; maybe even no longer shun him.

And in a weird way, he saw Zim as his equal, like they were two sides of the same coin, somehow.

But with Zim gone, the battle over, there was no longer any purpose. Just the day to day monotony. He might feel better if he landed the final blow, but he didn't.

An explosion. Zim must have been developing some new weapon, or conducting an experiment, or maybe he just blew a gas line, and it literally blew up in his face.

Dib sighed. Oh well, he should stop worrying about it. Best not to dwell, just move on with his life.

There are other threats to Earth, he was sure.

Skoodge smirked up at Tak, from his seat on an ornate throne in the central plaza of Irk.

"Today is a big day, my dear, I hope you're ready."

"As always, Sir." Tak replied, her face serious and controlled.

Skoodge grinned inwardly. Thanks to his little gambit, Tak would now willingly serve him.

Still, best to keep her leash on tight, just in case.

He peered down at the assembled Irkens before him. Those who were off world were watching the proceedings via holographic projector screens.

He rose from his seat, his arms spread grandly. "My fellow Irkens! As you may be aware, our dear Tallests are gone, taken from us in a tragic battle for conquest. But have no fear, for a new leader shall be appointed, a better leader, one who will see that Operation Impending Doom II is a glorious, magnanimous success!"

"Shut up, Skoodge! Get down from there before the Tallests punish you for insubordination!"

Skoodge frowned. "The Tallests are dead. I know a great many of you are still loyal to their cause, their era, however that time is over. But fret not, for a new leader has stepped up to lead its people to glory and conquest."

"Oh yeah, who?"

Skoodge chuckled lightly, and spread his arms in a kindly gesture. "Why, my fellow Irkens, someone who studied the Tallests closely, knew the way thought and felt. Someone who understands the Irken way of life. Someone...who can lead you a little more adequately, taking into account your needs, desires, everything. Someone with the knowledge and the power to continue Operation Impending Doom 2 and perhaps even improve upon the original plan. I am, of course, referring to myself."

"You! Don't make me laugh! You couldn't lead a Bromulak, let alone an entire planet!"

"Yeah! If we do need a new leader, it wouldn't be you!"

"You're not even tall!"

And soon the rabble intensified, joined together in their collective disapproval.

Skoodge growled. "being short or tall does NOT determine who is superior. True leadership is determined by skills such as intelligence, ingenuity, the ability to make tough decisions quickly, and..."

And that's when the lugnut hit him.

Skoodge looked down at the offending projectile and then looked down at the crowd contemptuously. "Well, I guess I shall try a different kind of diplomacy."

He nodded to Tak, who gave a curt nod and performed a signal with her hand. The Irkens watched, not sure what was happening.

And then the Irken who threw the lugnut, and everyone around him in a 50metre radius, was set aflame. They screamed in agony as another shot hit them from somewhere, killing them.

Skoodge smirked arrogantly as the Irkens stared in shock at the smouldering pile of corpses. "That is the first lesson. I shall be more lenient in what I allow, and you will even have a greater many freedoms, but if you attempt to subvert my authority in any way, then your safety cannot be assured. Disobedience and unruly behaviour shall be punished by death."

He turned away and walked off, leaving them to ponder their fate.

"Well, all in all, I'd say this all went well."

The Order of the Swollen Eyeballs stood, their full inner council gathered together to discuss matters of great importance.

"Where's my coffee?"

"Number 16, we don't have time to worry about refreshments right now, something of grave importance has just occurred."

"What could be so important that my coffee has to wait?" Number 16 replied irritably.

"We have gotten word from a survivor of the Resisty's and Armada's mutual destruction."

"And?"

"The Tallests were killed during the course of the events. It would appear that the Resisty and the Armada were both betrayed and manipulated."

"Bye whom?"

"Skoodge."

Number 16 audibly gasped. "Wh-what! That...that traitorous weasel is still alive, after all these years!"

"Indeed." A new council member spoke. "It would appear that Number 1's assumptions were correct."

"So then...what shall we do?"

"We await Number 1's ruling. Then we try to agree upon our next course of action, and not a second sooner."

The other council members murmured in agreement.

Skoodge smirked arrogantly, holding up a 'king' chess piece. "I am now king, as was always my right."

Tak nodded. "So, sir, what shall we do now?"

"Now? My dear, now we deal with some important, unfinished business. My dear, pack your bags, we're going to Earth."

Dib sat in his room, alone, not caring about the world or its problems anymore, when suddenly his bed flipped over and he found himself falling down a rather large chute, landing with a thud in a strange, dark room. He looked around himself, finding it hard to make out anything, but he could barely register a large number of figures surrounding him.

"Greetings, operative Dib. We are the Inner Council of the Order of Swollen Eyeballs, currently known as the Swollen Eyeballs Network. It has been quite some time since you last reported with us."

Dib got up slowly. "Look...I can't do this right now...stuff has happened and...look, I'm just not in the mood right now, alright? Just...just take me back home...however you were able to take me...I just wanna lie down."

"And you call yourself a paranormal investigator!" A voice boomed around them. "And I thought you were dedicated, thought you were a part of our cause. What happened to searching for the truth!"

Dib glared. "Look, I don't know who you are, or why you sound so familiar, but I have had it, ok! I've had it with all this! All it has ever done is make me an outcast! I have no friends! Not even my own family likes, cause I'm too 'weird' or 'crazy'. The only person i could relate to was my archenemy, and he's dead now!"

Suddenly, the lights came on and Dib had to rub his eyes, and he could now clearly see that he was in a sterile, white room, standing on a table surrounded on all sides by thirty people. Above them was a large monitor covering most of the wall. On the screen, was someone very familiar.

"DAD!" Dib exclaimed, mouth agape.

"I realise you are shocked, and i have much to explain." Professor Membrane replied. "But we have important work to do, my son. Something you were born to do, the whole reason why we allowed you membership in the first place."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, now hold on. Dad, You're a member of the Swollen Eyeballs! You're the most sceptical person i know!"

"Not just a member son, I am one of the founders, though we had a much different purpose back then. And who better who ensure our secrecy then one who constantly denies the existence of anything beyond modern sciences understanding?"

Dib nodded slightly, eyes averted in thought. "Ok, point there, but seriously, why did you allow me to join? And why did you form the Network in the first place?"

"Time for that later," the boy's father said briskly, "right now, we have an urgent matter to attend. Our scanners have picked up a small invasion force, and I think I know why. We need you to work with us here, and ensure that humanity, or at least what little remains of it, does not come upon any danger."

"You expect us to stop an alien invasion?" Dib scoffed. "I could barely handle one, and you guys are a large organisation, why need me specifically?"

"That is...classified." The older man replied suspiciously. "However, I can tell you that you won't be alone. You will have the network's full cooperation, since it does concern us after all. And, we have one other trump card in our deck."

"What? What do we ahve that could possibly give us an edge?"

A new image appeared on the screen, Dib gasping, paling slightly.

It showed Zim floating in a tank, unconscious, looking slightly scarred but otherwise in good condition.

" We have," Membrane's voice boomed over the image, "Invader Zim."

And here we go, the next chapter in our story.

Originally, i ahd it written that Skoodge had revealed the Tallests' treachery to the populace, and a schism among the populace being formed, but I felt that just didn't sound right and so changed it into partially a ploy to gain Tak's loyalty. Do you think I made the right decision?

I wanted to resolve the Swollen eyeballs thing as well, mostly cause they were so under used.

And now zim is back. And what do you think of all the twists and turns being presented? Stay tuned for me

As always, hope you enjoyed it and please comment.