Starting

"Hello?"

"Rio," Tamaki's voice was quiet. She was standing in her room in front of a mirror, still stewing over what had happened. Her stomach had a little pooch that really bothered her, and her brown hair was messy from not being properly blow dried.

"What's wrong?"

"How... How can I be more like you?"

"Did something happen? Do you want me to come pick you up?"

"No, no," she sighed. She turned to see her profile view in the mirror. They weren't kidding about the freshman 15. "I just... I'm tired of being me. How can I be more like you?"

The line went silent except for some shuffling noises in the background.

"Rio?"

"Tamaki," she spoke slowly. Her tone had changed, she sounded like she was plotting something, reminding Tamaki of the times she had been hazed by the older girl during pledging. "How happy are you with yourself?"

"What? What are you referring to? My looks or-?"

"Everything. If you had to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being that you're perfect and you wouldn't change a thing, what would you give yourself?"

She turned to face the mirror again, staring at the love handles that definitely didn't exist before.

"A two," she glared at her reflection. She wasn't fat, but she was just chubbier than she was used to. It almost looked like baby fat. It made her look younger than she actually was, which didn't help with the previous interaction with that bitch.

She even went to the party with the bare minimum of her makeup routine. What was she thinking? She could've at least put on lashes since her body was failing her.

"As a friend, I'd say there's nothing wrong with you and that you're beautiful, just the way you are," Tamaki could tell Rio was smiling over the line. "But as your big, if you tell me you're not happy, then trust - I'll help you, little. But you have to be willing."

"I am," she breathed out. "I'm so sick of... myself."

"Alright then. Just know that if you go overboard though, I'll still be here to stop you from doing anything too crazy. Now, when was the last time you did something spontaneous?"

She racked her mind, trying to pull together the events that occurred recently. "Well, during my first semester, Kiba and-"

"Tamaki, no," she cut her off harshly. "I mean when you made the decision to do something spontaneous."

"Uh..." she sat down on the carpet, thinking hard. "I don't..."

"Okay, this is clearly an emergency. Are you done with being home? Can I pick you up?"

"To be completely honest," she looked around her old childhood bedroom. It reminded her of everything she wanted to get away from. "Yes. But I still have my doctor's appointment, I'm about to head over now. It should be quick, I can probably come back and pack my things and be done by 5?"

"Okay, just let me know when you're done and I'll come over."

They hung up and she exhaled. Looking around her room, she couldn't believe she was about to stay there for an entire week. She still had old prom and high school photos on the wall. Not wanting to reminisce, she left for the doctor's immediately.

"Well, your blood work came back just fine. No signs of diabetes or anything. You said you just finished your first year in college?"

"Yes," Tamaki crossed her legs. The metal chair felt cold and uncomfortable, but she knew it was a common thing for hospitals. "My period started becoming irregular maybe about, 5 months ago?"

"Have you experienced any weight gain or loss this past year?"

"I think I gained weight," she shrugged. "Freshman 15."

"How about stress? Are you sexually active? Do you smoke or drink?"

"Not sexually active, no smoking, occasional drinking. I definitely was pretty stressed out this year, especially the last semester."

"Typically, when girls your age range experience weight gain or loss, or go through dramatic changes in terms of lifestyle, it can affect your period cycle. Especially for people that go to college, it can make changes to your body and it may take time for it to become regular again. Judging from how your tests came back negative for HIV and the other sexually transmitted illnesses, I would say it's just your body adjusting. I actually went through it myself during medical school. There's nothing to worry about."

Tamaki nodded, relieved that it was nothing serious. "Is there anything I can do to help it though? I've been spotting for the last 2 weeks and it's just really annoying."

"I would suggest trying to work out and find ways to reduce your stress levels, however, it still may take a couple months for your body to adjust. There are other methods to regulate it, and that would involve birth control," she walked over to the door where there was a wall of pamphlets displayed. She grabbed several and handed them back to Tamaki as she sat down again. "Most common for girls in your situation is the birth control pill. You don't have to decide today, you can always come back. University of Konoha also has an amazing clinic on their campus if you decide later on."

She opened the pamphlet and scanned through the side effects. "Can you tell me more about this one?"

Tamaki threw her duffel bag in the backseat before climbing into the front. Putting on her seat belt, Rio gave her a look.

"Any reason why you're coming back like, a week early?"

"I saw him for the first time today," she sighed, running her hand through her hair. She was sweaty from the summer heat and humidity. It had been a while since she had a haircut and her bangs were completely grown out. "I'm a total klutz."

"That bad?" The car pulled away from the house, going at a rate that was too fast for a residential area.

"I'm not drunk enough to talk about it right now," she rolled her eyes. "What's the plan, chief?"

"Well, it's too late now to do anything, but first thing tomorrow, we're going out. I low key stalked your Facebook profile and realized you've looked and dressed the same since like, the beginning of your social media life. So you have one night to decide - hair salon or tattoo/piercing parlor?"

Tamaki stared out at the road. She recognized all the houses and buildings in this part of town. This is where she grew up; where she spent a majority of her life. In high school, she was so happy and had so much more confidence, but when she moved out to college, something in her changed. It was like she lost a part of herself and turned into a timid, scared kitten.

Ever since this afternoon, she had been pondering over Rio's question: when was the last time she was spontaneous?

"Fuck it," she threw her arms up, hitting her wrist against the window. "Why not both?"

"Holy shit," Rio laughed loudly. "So you're depressed, depressed. Alright little, get ready. This summer's going to be so much fun."

Tamaki stared at the mirror, gaping at her reflection. She couldn't believe it.

"How do you feel, darling?" Her hairstylist picked up the towel from her shoulders and folded it away. He was a young man with a nose ring. His own hair was dyed a beautiful blue and purple ombre. "Your hair really took in the color. It's been a while since I handled somebody with virgin hair."

"I-I love it," she gushed. "Oh my god. I don't even look like me."

She turned her head, watching her hair bounce back and forth. She had bleached it platinum blonde, and with Rio's suggestion, cut it shoulder length, with the front a bit longer than the back. Her bangs had grown out and he trimmed them to slightly frame her face. She went along with the hairstylist's suggestion and kept her middle part.

All throughout middle school and high school, she had the same boring brown hair with blunt bangs and mid-back length. This was the most dramatic change she had ever done, and possibly, the only change.

Her hands felt the tips. The last time she had short hair was probably in elementary school.

Rio stepped forward, grinning at her through the mirror. She had been spontaneous as well and added hot pink peekaboo highlights.

"New year, new you?" she joked. "Ready for part two?"

Tamaki looked back at her, feeling butterflies in her stomach, but nodded anyways. They paid and left the hair salon and drove out to Rio's favorite tattoo and piercing shop.

A man with several piercings in his ear greeted them. "Do you ladies have an appointment?"

"We don't," Rio stepped forward. "My friend over here wold like to get something pierced."

His eyes scanned the back of the room where several other artists were already working on customers. "If it's a piercing, I should be able to do it. My next appointment isn't for another hour. What would you like?"

"Um..." she nervously grabbed her other arm. "What would you suggest?"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Sorry, she's just nervous," Rio smiled, putting an arm around Tamaki. "It's her first time and she really wants to do something big before the school year."

"Well..." he looked at her from head to toe. "For your first time, the easiest would be something on your ears. If you're open to being a little daring, I'd say belly button. Most girls your age seem to go for that."

Tamaki shared a look with Rio and breathed in deeply, looking back at the man and nodding. "Belly button sounds fun. I've always wanted to start wearing crop tops."

He smirked and pulled out a clipboard with forms on it. "Fill these out and have your ID ready. I'll go get the station set up."

She quickly filled out the papers while Rio walked around the front portion, looking at all the different jewelry the shop sold.

"What did you get done here?" She didn't look up while she signed her name. "You said you come here a lot?"

"Yeah, good times," Rio grinned. "Used to have a nose ring but I took that out. Just some tattoos, my ears, belly button..." She walked behind Tamaki and whispered, "Nipples."

Tamaki stopped writing and stood aghast. "Are you serious?"

"Yep," she skipped away to the binders that had the tattoo artist's portfolios. "I can show you when we get home."

Her eye twitched. Was it normal to just show your breasts to other people?

'Whatever,' she thought. She wasn't going to argue with her. If anything, she was amazed.

The first two weeks of her internship breezed through and wasn't what she expected. She was at ease with her coworkers despite being one of the youngest there. The CFO was a bit of jerk, but she didn't mind. It's not like she'd get along with everybody.

The first portion of her internship was in the sales department. Although she knew she never wanted to go into sales, this was a great way for her to work on her communication skills and build confidence (even when people hung up on her).

Because she didn't have a car, Tamaki had to take the bus for her commute. The ride was only about 25 minutes and she enjoyed the quiet time to relax and listen to music. At Rio's place, she followed her usual routine: eating a salad and changing into leggings and a t-shirt to go work out. As she pulled out her old sneakers, Rio surprised her by coming home an hour earlier than usual.

"Yo. Heading out?"

"Yeah, going running. I need to lose weight."

"What? You're already so thin."

"Not as thin as that red head bitch..." she muttered, tightening the laces. "I gained a lot of weight during my first year. I want to slim down to how I used to be."

Rio opened a bag of chips as she sat down on the couch. "If you really want to lose weight, you should come with me to dance. Chaos is having dance camp next week and it'll sweat your pores out. It's mainly for members but it's technically open for anybody to join."

"Rio, I can't dance," she raised an eyebrow. "I'd probably break something."

"I don't know," she looked down at her nails, trying to look innocent. "Maybe you can learn all those kpop dances you're always watching."

Tamaki glared at her. "How do you know about that?"

She shrugged, grinning evilly. "Does it matter? Your secret's safe with me."

"I'll think about it," she tied her short hair into a low pony tail. "By the way, I'll be out this Saturday. My class is planning a little beach trip."

"Noted. I'll make sure to clean up after the orgy."

Tamaki rolled her eyes and went out the front door, not bothering to lock it knowing that Rio would do it for her. She ran through the streets, still trying to get familiar with the neighborhood. Rio's place was quite close to the apartment that she'd be moving into later, so she planned her jog around the complex.

"Your hair!" Natsumi squealed at the site of Tamaki. "Now we're all blonde!"

Tamaki grinned as she hugged her and Temari. "Yep, new year, new me. No more boring Tamaki."

Takano walked by, ruffling her hair and carrying a large umbrella in his other hand. "There's nothing wrong with boring."

"Don't listen to him," Temari put on her sunglasses. "We welcome the new you with open arms."

"Can you girls help move stuff?" Shoji was carrying the cooler. Next to him, Aoi was silently packing on as many bags as he could on his arms.

"Ugh, fine," Natsumi whined. "Give me something light."

They finished unpacking the cars and brought the supplies out to a more secluded part of the beach near a small cave. They took advantage of the space and spread their towels, leaving their things out and blasting loud music on a portable speaker.

Natsumi, Temari, and Shoji stripped away while the others sat down. Takano was wandering around, trying to get signal on his phone so he could send an email.

"Tamaki, why aren't you taking off your shirt? Let's go swim!" Natsumi tied her hair into pigtails.

"Nah, I think I'm okay," she buried her feet into the sand, making small scoops to bring the sand up her ankles.

"Are you not going to swim?" Temari slathered on sunscreen. She watched as Shoji ran straight to the water, not even bothering to put on SPF. He was probably going to come back looking like a lobster at the end of the day.

"Didn't you say you fucking love the water or something?" Aoi laid back, putting on sunglasses.

"Yeah but... I think I brought the wrong swimsuit."

"Are you on your period?"

"No, I think I gained a lot of weight or something. My swimsuit's kind of tight and I don't want to accidentally flash somebody."

"I thought you said you were losing weight?" Temari leaned over and pulled up her shirt, trying to get a good look.

"Hey!" She blushed and snapped the fabric back down. "I am, but I must be eating too much or something. I feel like my bras don't even fit me anymore."

Natsumi dropped down onto her knees to get closer to Tamaki. "Didn't you say you started birth control recently? That affects your weight."

"Do you guys not realize that I'm right here?" Aoi's head popped up. "I'm a guy. With a fucking penis."

"Shut up and go back to sleep, Aoi." Temari snapped at him.

He grumbled something that sounded like "crazy bitches" and covered himself with a towel.

"Yeah, I started it last month. That's why I've been running so much. Last time I checked, I lost 7 pounds but it must not be working if this bikini's too tight. This used to be too big for me."

"You know, I grew from a B to a C after going on birth control," Natsumi said. "I don't think you're getting like, fat... I think the pill's just having some side effects. Your arms and legs look the same to me, and your waist looks like it's gotten smaller so the running is working."

"Maybe you need to go shopping," Temari suggested. "Have you not noticed your bras getting tighter?"

She shrugged. "I'm kind of lazy, so I just wear sports bras at work. It's safer that way in case I bend over or anything."

"Let's go shopping tomorrow!" Natsumi grinned. "I could use some new outfits for work."

"Sounds good to me," Temari stood up. "So are you just going to sit there all day and not swim then?"

Tamaki sat for a moment, looking back at Aoi who looked dead. Shoji was still prancing around in the water like a maniac. "You know what," she exhaled. "Who cares."

She ripped her top over her head and jumped up. "I'm tired of being self conscious."

"Yaaaaas!" Natsumi yelled, looping her arm with Tamaki's. "I love this new you!"

The rest of the day was relaxing and filled with laughter. They caught up with each other, talking about their horrible grades thanks to pledging and what their internships were turning out to be like.

They left the beach and had a group dinner at a nearby gyukatsu restaurant. As Tamaki looked around the circle of friends, she realized how close they had gotten. Their conversations flowed so well, no more awkward pauses or the need to fill in with small talk. It was strange to think that they had only met that year and they were already this attached to each other.

It was nice having a group of friends like this. They were all driven professionally, and despite their very different personalities, they still shared common interests that brought them together. The pledging process probably erased a year or two off her lifespan, but it really had worked.

This gathering reminded her of her old high school group. She hadn't spent proper time with them in so long, and seeing them at the pool party wasn't as appeasing as she thought it'd be. Too much had changed.

It was almost like they were being replaced.

That night, they were hanging out at Aoi's new apartment. He had found an apartment in the same area that Tamaki would be moving in. None of his housemates had yet moved in, so he had the entire place to himself.

His family was pretty well-off; they owned a popular convenience store chain that had hundreds of locations. Aoi took advantage of the wealth and fully stocked the apartment with furniture and electronics.

They were lounging around the apartment, chatting and having some reality competition show play in the background.

Tamaki and Natsumi were comparing photos to post on Instagram. They had taken so many and wanted to make the right decision.

She finally settled on a photo of herself, Natsumi, and Temari. The three of them were sitting together on the beach, their backs to the camera. The sun was setting and she had on Natsumi's big, floppy sun hat to cover her newly bleached hair.

Aside from Rio and her class, nobody knew about her changes.

She captioned the photo: "We enjoy long walks on the beach when we're not dying at work" and tagged them both in it.

After posting the photo, she scrolled through her own page. Over half the pictures were of her and Kiba.

She cringed. "Would it be weird if I deleted all my old pictures with Kiba?"

Aoi gave her a side glance. "I think that's up to you."

Shoji was sitting behind her on the couch and looked over her shoulder. "Wow, you guys do have a lot of photos together."

Natsumi shrugged, "If I hated the ex, I'd delete the photos. If the break up was fine, then I left them."

"If she deletes them though, it's going to be really obvious. Look at her Instagram," Shoji pointed at her phone.

The others searched her up and began scrolling through.

"Geez, do you have any other friends?" Aoi mumbled.

Temari tried slapping the back of his head but he dodged it, smirking.

"It's up to you, Tamaki." Takano adjusted his glasses. "But from what we've talked about today, it sounds like you're trying to forget him. I think deleting them would be a good step for you."

"Just fucking delete them," Aoi yawned and threw his phone aside. "He's a waste of space on your timeline. You don't need him."

Natsumi leaned forward to grab her drink. "If I were in your situation, I'd do it. New you, right?"

She bit her lip and looked at the photos one more time. Today was one of the first days in a long time where she was genuinely happy. She hadn't missed him because he had been pushed so far back in her mind. She wanted to forget him, but deleting the pictures would be a big statement. What if he saw that she got rid of them?

"What's his Instagram look like?" Temari asked.

Tamaki pulled it up and immediately regretted it. She hadn't been very active on Instagram since work started, so she hadn't seen the most recent picture.

She held it up for Shoji to see behind her.

The picture was a selfie of that girl Asami. She was wearing sunglasses and holding up a peace sign. In the back, Kiba seemed to be caught off guard. He was holding a bottle of beer and wearing a tank top. The caption read: "#hacked."

"Alright now," Shoji grabbed her phone out of her hands.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Tamaki turned around. She was sitting on the floor and tried to take the phone back from him.

"Deleting the photos for you. You'll thank me for this," he turned around so that he was facing the back of the couch, holding the phone away from her reach.

She didn't fight it and sat back down, a queasy feeling in her stomach. Aoi looked at her and held out his glass. It was a mixture of whiskey and cola. She didn't stare at it for long before taking it from him.

"Thanks."

The next day, Tamaki met up with Temari and Natsumi at the mall. They went straight for one of the lingerie stores for her to get properly measured.

To her surprise, she had indeed gone up in size.

She came out of the fitting room with an embarrassed look on her face. "I'm a 32A or 30B now."

Temari tilted her head. "What were you before?"

"30A...?" her eyes looked around the store. "I've only been on birth control for a month. How does that work?"

"The magical powers of a woman's body," Natsumi sang. She held up two cute, lacy bras. "These are on sale!"

"Ugh, I just started work. I'm going to spend all my money on this."

"Good thing our internships pay a shit ton," Temari held up a pair of silk panties. "I can't imagine working a regular part-time job now."

Tamaki ended up buying several new bras, picking out whatever was on sale. Natsumi and Temari bought their own things as well. Afterwards, they took their time walking around the mall, window shopping while sipping on milkshakes.

They stopped in front of a store. The mannequins had on edgier outfits, dressed in all black.

"Ugh, I wish I could dress like that," Tamaki whined.

"Why not? I think it'd look good with your new look." Temari stared at the leather jacket.

"You think? I've always been into the grunge, goth thing. I just thought it wouldn't fit me."

"There's only one way to find out!" Natsumi headed straight in. "I'm not into this stuff. I went through a phase but I realized pink is more my color. If you want, you can have all my old clothes. I was planning on donating them anyways."

Tamaki and Temari followed after her. They lingered in the store, slowly browsing through the items and grabbing whatever was discounted. Tamaki looked up at Temari from across a display, and the dirty blonde eventually caught on.

"Can I help you?"

"Temari..." Tamaki started. "The person you talked about a long time ago. The guy. When we were having our rant session."

"Yes...?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It's a first year, isn't it? His name is Shikamaru."

Temari looked surprised and put down the shirt she was holding. "How do you know that?"

"He's actually my high school friend. I saw him when I saw Kiba and all my other friends. He was wearing the same necklace that you always wore, and I kind of just put two and two together."

She scoffed and snatched a skirt that was hanging nearby. She pretended to examine it, but her mind was obviously somewhere else. "I can't believe that asshole is still wearing it. He gave it to me when we first started talking, but I returned it the last time I saw him. I pretty much ghosted him since he wouldn't break up with his girlfriend. Do you know the girl, too?"

Tamaki nodded. "She's in the same friend group. I'm really sorry, Temari. I can't believe he'd do something like that. I've known him for a long time now, and I never thought he'd cheat."

She sighed, giving Tamaki a sad smile. "He probably thought it was too troublesome to break up."

Her words were so accurate, it hurt. Tamaki didn't know how to comfort her friend, but she really wanted to be there. Temari was always looking after her and now she was stuck in the middle. She could do something if she wanted to - she could rat out Shikamaru or confront him, but the fact that he chose Ino over Temari was probably too much.

"Don't worry about it," she exhaled, before giving her a confident grin. "It's summer. The best time for flings. Let's move on together, okay?"

If anybody's curious as to what Tamaki's haircut is modeled after, I was trying to describe it like CLC's Yeeun during the No era. She looked AMAZING.