Summary: Killian has a hard time forgetting about Emma while trying to return to his sea-faring and womanizing ways during the missing year. Rated M for reasons.

Bittersweet Release

He was fairly used to the leering lascivious stares from those around him; like a hungry animal, devouring him and undressing him with their eyes. It wasn't unwanted attention by any means and did hold a certain fascination to him if only for the boost it brought to his already overinflated ego.

The first time he was propositioned by a beautiful bar wench after their return to the Enchanted Forest they had made it all the way up to the inn above the tavern; kissing each other with fervor while undressing one another, provoked by a desperate need as he rubbed himself against her skirts. None of the actions seemed to have their desired effect and he found himself frustrated in his attempt to wash himself clean of her memory. He gave the wench a kiss on the cheek and thanked her graciously for her efforts; in vain though they may have been.

The second time he had managed to push an eager squealing village girl against the brick in a darkened ally way behind the tavern as he deftly untied the laces of her corset when once again his body betrayed him. Eventually she too was sent on her way leaving a huffing, sexually frustrated Killian behind; his trousers untied exposing part of his uncooperative member.

"Fuck!" He screamed into the wind, slamming his fist and hook against the wall, his voice breaking with frustration.

"Why? Why can't I get you out of my mind?" He asked himself, shaking his head against the brick.

The third time was by far his most successful attempt.

His eyes darkened with desire and his cock swelled in his pants as he looked upon the blonde in front of him; her creamy breasts exposed to his gaze as he palmed himself through his leathers.

"Touch yourself. Make yourself wet for me." He instructed, his voice direct and authoritative as he stepped closer to her with a predatory gaze.

She did as he bid, one hand slipping beneath her skirts as the other stroked a breast, tweaking the rosy nipple into submission with her thumb and forefinger.

"That's it. Just like that." He nodded his encouragement, licking his lips savagely as the girl threw her head back, her breathy moans filling the room as she fucked herself on her fingers.

He launched himself at her, connecting their hungry lips as he swallowed her heady cries. Pulling back, his stormy blue eyes found hers and he swept a loose lock of blonde hair behind her ear only to find a pair of hazel—not green eyes staring back at him. He immediately stepped back as if just shocked, his mouth gaping slightly.

It just wasn't the same and it never would be.

He turned his back to her, a puzzled expression adorning her face as she reached up to touch him timidly. "Go…" He murmured, his voice above a whisper as he squeezed his eyes shut painfully, hoping to erase the memories of the woman that haunted him.

"Please… let me help." She offered, her hand barely grazing his shoulder.

He growled lowly, his head snapping up over his shoulder, "I said go!" He yelled, his voice shrill and violent.

She gasped before stomping her foot like a child not used to getting their way then took her leave, slamming the door shut behind her.

His shoulders visibly relaxed upon her exit and he let out a shaky breath that eventually turned into a cry of frustration as he buried his fingers in his wild mane of hair as he leaned in against the table in front of him.

Why? Why can't you leave me alone?

It was becoming painstakingly clear to him now more than ever that he would never be able to rid himself of her completely no matter how hard he tried. She would be there forever; a ghost, a shadow of a memory meant to haunt him and torture him at every turn, leaving him endlessly unsatisfied.

He groaned audibly as an erotic vision of her assaulted his mind.

She stood before him, unapologetically nude, her golden curls fanned over her breasts in a way meant to cruelly tease him. He felt his cock stir to life in his leathers along with the insistent sting in his fingertips as he longed to touch her, to feel every glorious curve of her body pulse beneath his explorative hand. His touch would be firm yet gentle as he caressed her, cherished her for his own as he sought out the places that would bring about the most pleasure. Each place he touched would elicit the sweetest and torturous of moans as she arched into his touch, silently begging for more. Her beautiful pink lips would pucker as his name fell like a prayer, divine and praising from her sensuous mouth.

With a strangled grunt he fell forward against the table, his eyes snapping shut as he freed himself from his leather prison. His hand wrapped around the base of himself and he began slowly bucking himself up into his palm, the delicious friction making him damn near delirious.

"Emma…" her name fell devoutly from his lips, his hand working over his rigid length at a languid pace as he thoughtlessly buried his hook into the table.

He covered his lips over the smooth expanse of skin above her breasts, pressing reverent kisses to her flesh as he inhaled her intoxicating perfume, soaking in the addicting scent that was driving him mad with the need to have her.

Her fingernails scraped against his scalp, her hands threading themselves in the dark silky hair that graced the top of his head as he latched onto her erect nipple, teasing and suckling enthusiastically. His tongue darted out to flick and lap at the bud as she cried and keened against him. He seized the other in his mouth, greedily giving it the same treatment as she rutted against his erection impatiently.

Killian's eyebrows knitted together in concentration, licking his lips as if he could taste her on his tongue as he thrust into his hand with long purposeful strokes.

He left a trail of hot, moist kisses down her body and settled himself on his knees before her then buried his head in the glorious heat between her thighs. She smelled of heaven and he swore to himself as he licked the sweet nectar from her lower lips while he drowned in the potent taste of her that made his blood sing. He ate away at her with immeasurable bliss and fervor, relentless in his endeavor to bring her to the precipice. Without skipping a beat, he sank two fingers into her wet throbbing cunt, pumping them in and out of her vigorously as he captured her clit between his lips and began to worry it gently with his teeth.

She bucked up into his mouth and fingers, the pressure building in her abdomen as her entire body began to boil with the heat coursing through her veins. She helplessly rocked against him, her echoing cries reverberating through her as a tidal wave of pleasure washed over her entire being, his name being freely released from her lips as she came hard against him.

His entire body shuttered, his grip on his shaft loosening as his balls constricted and released. He grunted, heaving and panting as he spent himself, hot and sticky, over his hand and clothing, the force of his climax nearly knocking him off his feet.

He released his now sated cock and collapsed against the table as sweat dripped from his forehead, his nails biting into the wood as he fought to regulate his breathing. He laid limply against the table, his breathing hot and heavy as moisture gathered in his eyes.

She had ruined him for all women. Never would he know the touch of another.

He barely knew her touch save the vivid memory of her lithe little body pressed against his as she grazed her lips over his, her mouth soft and pliant as his tongue tangled with hers. The taste of her lips only leaving him hungry and desperate for more with a thirst he would never be able to quench.

His hand, although a viable substitute, would never be enough to fill the craving left behind but it would have to do.

He pursed his lips, his face crinkling as his control began to wither away and his body ached with emptiness. "Damn you Swan."