Sorry guys that i made you wait so Long once again but now exams are over and I promise that I try and upload one chapter per week. I hope you like it and please Review, I am always happy to hear/read what you think about the new chapter. :)

Please ignore the bad spelling if possible, and thank you for reading. :D

Chapter 4: Thoughts and Fights

Still standing in the shower Yuzu lowered her head. She knew Mei was right about what she had just said (and she was a little bit surprised by what she had said before that).

She hated herself for what she felt.

Yuzu had been trying all the time to kill that feeling inside her heart.

She knew that Mei wasn't to blame for what happened, or at least not for all of it.

But still she felt anger swelling up in her chest every time she thought about the incident.

She didn't exactly knew why but she just couldn't help it.

"I am sorry Mei...You're right. I am a little bit furious about it and a can't help it but I think I kinda do blame you. But I don't know why.."

Yuzu said shakily.

She wasn't looking at Mei while talking to her, to ashamed of what she really felt.

"I mean...I DO love you. You know that. More than I love anything or anyone else, but still...I-I don't know what to say. You don't deserve this."

She whispered the last few words, trying to stop her voice from shaking.

Since Mei wasn't saying anything in return Yuzu lifted her head.

When she looked at Mei she was met with a sorrowful look.

Mei tilted her head a bit to the right and forced a sad smile.

"I know you do...really. The thought that I caused and am still causing you so much trouble is hard for me, you know. Not being able to do anything and feeling helpless is nothing I can deal with easily."

Yuzu just silently nodded at this. She knew that Mei was always feeling uncomfortable when she wasn't in charge or when she wasn't able to do anything.

"But nothing of this is going to change the fact that I still want to marry you, you hear me? Even if you would hate me...living without you is nothing I can imagine anymore...it's not an option"

Mei said and her voice nearly broke.

Now, once more tears were streaming down Yuzus face and she quickly wiped them away not wanting to cry anymore. She had been doing that far to often lately.

Instead of crying Yuzu smiled and reached out for Meis face placing on of her hands on Meis cheek.

"Me neither..." she said and then was pulled into a tight hug.

" What about getting out of the shower already? My skin is wrinkled and I think you wanted to take a walk outside, didn't you?"

Mei spoke softly into Yuzus ear.

"Yeah, should do that." the blonde agreed and turned around to turn off the shower.

The two of them got out of the shower and changed into something more fitting for a walk.

Since it was already autumn it was a bit chilly outside especially when the wind was blowing.

Yuzu snuggled up in the popped collar of her coat and got closer to Mei which was walking beside her, holding her hand.

Right now none of them was talking.

They were just walking side by side, enjoying the beautiful view of the falling leaves painted in all shades of red, orange, yellow and brown.

While looking at the scenes in front of them Yuzu started thinking.

It was easy to tell that Mei had changed a lot, not just since the incident a year ago. But before that.

Yuzu couldn't tell when it started but since they started dating, or maybe even before that when they became sisters, Mei had changed little by little.

If someone had been spending as much time with her as Yuzu did, he might have missed it, like Yuzu did at first.

But looking at it from another perspective it was obvious.

When Yuzu had met Mei for the first time, Mei had been an almost cold person. Calm and most effective in everything she did.

She had kept her distance, emotionally, and was just the perfect student and student council president everyone expected her to be.

But in the inside she had always been a frightened girl. Frightened to get hurt again keeping everything and everyone at a safe distance and hiding behind a thick shell. Yuzu knew that, now.

Right after they had become sisters Yuzu hadn't noticed, being to confused about her own feelings.

She knew she had never really understood Mei and what was going on in her head.

Only sometimes when Mei had lost control over her expressions Yuzu had gotten a chance to grab a hint of the hidden Mei.

But she never really figured her out.

Right now it was much more easy for her to guess Meis moods.

Not just because they lived together for four years now, but because Yuzu was the only person Mei had opened up to.

Sure she managed to go along with her dad much better than before they met and the relationship to their mom had also improved a bit, but no one was connected to her as much as Yuzu was, of course.

Thinking at their mother Yuzu had to smile.

When Yuzu and Mei had told her that they were a couple and that they were dating for almost two years now she just fainted.

Flashback:

At that time Yuzu had been concerned about her mother, that she wouldn't be okay with them dating, that she would yell and curse like the devil himself.

But after they managed to carry her to the couch and wake her up they were surprised by their mother.

Since they were prepared for yelling, swearing and all kinds of accusations their mother just looked at them intensely.

She had asked them: "Are you two serious about this?"

They just nodded.

"And you are happy?"

Another nod.

"Okay...them I am fine with it."

The two of them took a deep breath.

"But..."

They jerked.

"What I am not okay with is that you two never told me!"

Shocked the two of them stared at their mother, eyes wide.

But soon their mother smiled and tried to not break into loud laughter.

"Oh that was worth it. You have to see your own faces right now."

She chuckled and Yuzu and Mei were just irritated.

"Listen you two. I admit it is a shock to me,still. But I will love you two forever no matter what you do and if you are happy then I'll be happy two. But you have to tell your father too. Oh and another thing...even if it is okay with me, I think I need a little time so get along with that and everything so please be patient."

Flashback end.

Yuzu had been so happy at that day, she couldn't stop smiling the hole day, and with their dad it wasn't much different. Except that he fainted twice.

The last few years had been really thrilling to her.

Being in a relationship with someone like Mei wasn't an easy task.

Mei was a challenging person (not only between the sheets).

Not one day was like the one before and Yuzu was grateful for it. Even if Mei was in the office all day, when she got home she always had another idea how to spend the evening with Yuzu.

Yuzu never knew were she got the ideas from and when she had found the spare time to prepare everything.

At the beginning of their relationship Yuzu had never expected her to be such a caring person.

It was like Mei had two personalities. Still have.

There is the caring, loving and soft one like she had been the last few days, and the strong, strict and effective one she always was when she was at work or when Yuzu was acting without due consideration. Which, by the way, was at least once a day.

Yuzu loved both of them and she always loved to think about the past,...the time they first met...the first kiss...

"Yuzu!" Mei suddenly stopped and forced Yuzu to stop too and to look at her, confused.

"Yuzu, are you listening to me at all?" Mei asked and raised an eyebrow.

Yuzu blinked a few times and looked around. She hadn't noticed that they already had arrived back home.

"S-Sorry Mei, did you say something?" Yuzu asked still a bit confused.

Meis expression changed and she now looked at Yuzu with a scowl.

"I've been talking to you the last thirty minutes, explaining what I had figured out for the wedding and you ain't listening! Was there something more interesting going on in your mind then our wedding?"

Mei said almost hissing.

Yuzu hadn't noticed that Mei had started talking to her at all. She looked at Mei apologetically.

"I am sorry Mei, I think I was to deep in thoughts. I didn't noticed you started talking to me in the first place."

Yuzu said and tried to safe the situation with a smile.

But Mei wasn't in the mood. She turned around unlocked the front door and entered the house without a word.

"Hey Mei please wait, I am sorry okay? Please tell me again what you figured out, I will listen carefully this time I promise." Yuzu called after her quickly following her into the house.