Chapter 4! (the chapter you've all been waiting for! :D)
Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda: the Wind Waker. Or the Zubat Method. That's from a hilarious online T.V. show. Or the Internet Phenomenon from 300. I also don't own Navi. But I do own the original character I created! Oh yes, be very afraid.
Cherry-sama: Hello and—
Toon Link: There's an original character in this fanfic.
Cherry-sama: Yes, and?
Navi: Oh no.
Toon Link: This is terrible!
Link: What will we do?
Toon Link: You're not in this fanfic.
Link: Oh shut up. I'm a stunt double. It still worries me!
Cherry-sama: It's not that bad…
Navi: Are you kidding me! It's TERRIBLE!
Cherry-sama: (sighs)
Aryll: (works away at lock) Almost…almost…!
Tetra called out from the crow's-nest.
"Hey, Link! Here I am—up here!" Tetra yelled below.
"Oh, come on!" Link yelled, "I was just up there! It takes forever to get up there! Do I—"
"Just get up there!" Navi pushed Link from behind.
"Okay, okay, for the love of Cyclos," Link groaned.
A painstakingly long climb later, Link sprawled onto the floor, and panted heavily.
"I…hate…climbing…ladders…" Link wheezed.
"Link, you need to get in shape," Navi said.
"Says the…fairy…who…stays in my…hat…while I run around…" Link coughed.
"What were you doing with Niko?" Tetra glared at the guy on the floor, "Don't tell me you guys were playing some stupid game for treasure... were you? Please tell me that he didn't give you jewelry."
Link, exhausted as he was, pulled out his Spoils Bag, and showed it to Tetra. As soon as Tetra saw it wasn't shiny, she lost all interest.
"Well, whatever! There's something you need to see!" Tetra sighed, "Have a look over there... That's the cursed isle known as the Forsaken Fortress."
Tetra indicated with her head towards something behind her. Link picked himself off the floor and looked at a gigantic fortress on water. Forsaken Fortress. Spotlights danced over the dark water, and the entire fortress was littered with the remains of pirate ships. Link gazed at the Fortress intently.
"You've got to be kidding me," Link said, "That big bird gets a more awesome looking base than I do?"
"You have a base?" Navi asked.
"My base. Aryll's base," Link shrugged, "Whatever."
"There are all sorts of strange rumors about this place," Tetra said off screen, "What I do know is that long ago, it used to be a hideout of a no-good group of pirates we used to compete with…"
Since Tetra was off screen, Link knew that whatever she had to say obviously wasn't important. He looked around. He saw the bird. The Seagull King, as Aryll liked to call it. It sat inside a large nest, which looked too small for it. But it had somehow managed to cram into that wreath of twigs anyway. It looked like it was trying to sleep. But, every time it nodded off, its head would fall, jerking it awake again.
Link also saw that dang red thing by the base of the nest, and for the first time, Link noticed that it was attached to a body. It was a person. A person with red hair.
Link turned away. It wasn't canon, so why should he care anything about it?
"But they were just small-time," Tetra sighed, "Now, the place looks like it's pretty dangerous. Ah! I knew it! Look!"
"Ehh? What?" Link asked.
"That window over there," Navi said.
Navi pointed towards the window, but since her arms were so short, Link couldn't follow her finger.
"Over there!" Tetra said, "By that window!"
Link looked. There were several seagulls trying to get into a particular window. Link squinted. All the seagulls wore green army helmets, held lit sticks of dynamite, and were desperately trying to drop the ammo before it blew up on them. One of the birds exploded.
"Have you ever seen so many seagulls flock like that before?" Tetra asked, "I'll bet you anything that's the place where they've got your sister locked up!"
"I think they're trying to wage war, more than trying to flock, really—" Navi started.
"For the last time," Link yelled desperately, "my sister wasn't kidnapped by the Seagull King!"
There was a long pause.
"We, uh," Navi paused, "never said she was…"
"...But it looks like the whole place is under really tight guard," Tetra paused.
Tetra closed her eyes in contemplation.
"This won't work…" Tetra said to herself, "We'd be spotted before we got anywhere near landing there. Hmmm… What do we do now?"
Tetra suddenly winked at Link.
"I'm just sittin' on a barrel, on top of a catapult," Link said coolly.
Link looked down.
Link's eyes widened, "On top of a catapult! WAH!"
Sure enough, Link was sittin' in a barrel, on top of a catapult. Now, how the pirates got Link into the barrel and onto the catapult without him figuring out what was happening first, is a mystery. Clearly, the pirates are ninjas. And that statement in itself likely just caused an online war somewhere. Anyway, Link began to thrash about in the barrel, as two pirates make the final adjustments.
Navi flew out of Link's hat, "Whoa, when did that happen?"
"Look, don't struggle. If you really want to get into a dangerous place like that, this is the only way to do it," Tetra told Link, "Trust me. We pirates do this all the time. Don't worry about it! It will be a piece of cake!"
"BUT I'M ON A BLOODY CATAPULT!" Link yelled, "How the heck am I supposed to be calm?"
"Well, this isn't half a stupid as some of the deeds my Link did," Navi pondered.
Tetra ignored this, "Is everyone ready!"
One of the pirates saluted.
"Never you fear, kid," Tetra laughed, "We're pros. We're going to launch you good."
"But you didn't even use proper sentence structure!" Link retorted, "How am I supposed to trust you—"
"Yeah! It should be 'we're going to launch you well'!" Navi added.
"Three," Tetra yelled.
"I can't believe this is happening," Link's jaw stayed wide open.
"It could be worse," Navi shrugged.
"Two," Tetra yelled again.
"Worse?" Link gasped, "How?"
"One!"
The catapult launched Link forward. The pirates at the ship waved goodbye. Link screamed his head off as he soared toward the fortress. As Link flew closer to the window, he began to notice that he wasn't. In fact, his trajectory was aiming him slightly to the left—straight for a wall.
With a resounding crash—which nobody noticed—the barrel and Link collided with the stone.
"That's how," Navi said.
Splintered shards rained down, with Link leading the descent. The water was unpleasantly cold. The mystery remains not in the fact that nobody heard the splash, but in the fact that there was no water below where Link had crashed. Somehow Link's sword became unsheathed and twirled out of reach in a physics-defying exit.
The nearest section where Link could climb up looked like a small loading dock of sorts. Link wrung out his tunic and muttered something about how he shouldn't have ever let them lure him into a barrel to begin with.
"Your sword landed all the way up there? Shoot!" a voice said.
Link jumped. He looked around for the source of the sound.
"I'm sorry! I apologize! I guess my aim was off a little bit."
"A little bit?" Link retorted reflexively, "You call that a little bit?"
"Actually, considering her axis of rotation," Navi said, "Her aim was pretty close."
"Heh... Heh... The look on your face... Priceless!" the voice chuckled.
Link pulled something glowing out of his pocket. It was a string holding a blue stone. Or, rather, a blue speck. If it hadn't been glowing, Link wouldn't have been able to see the tiny shard.
"Heh heh…" Tetra's voice chuckled, "I slipped this stone into your pocket just before we fired you over there. It's no ordinary stone, either. It's jewelry. You'd better not lose it! Or I'll—"
"How the crap did you slip this stone into his pocket without me noticing?" Navi asked, "Let alone Link!"
"The same way she got me into a barrel and put me on a catapult without us noticing," Link said.
"I can see what you're doing through this stone, somehow, and obviously you can hear me through it," Tetra's voice echoed, "So... if you see a spikey A, you'd better press that button!"
"But no one's told me how," Link complained, "Where are these buttons you guys keep talking about, anyway?"
"The pirates are just trying to confuse you, Link," Navi sighed, "It's their ninja way."
"I put the stone on your Quest Status screen," Tetra said.
"Wait, my what?" Link blinked.
"Press START and use L or R to scroll around," the voice continued, "It's pretty basic."
Link found himself being unable to formulate words again.
"Hey, but listen carefully!" Tetra's voice snapped, "I need this back after you save your sister, so don't go losing it, you understand? It's shiny. It's jewelry. It's mine. You'd better return it by the time you get back…or else."
"Okay! Okay!" Link exclaimed, "I get it!"
Link shoved the shard in his back pocket to try and get it to shut up. It was effective, as far as Link could tell.
"Okay, Link," Navi huffed confidently.
"What?" Link turned to Navi.
"You're new to this adventuring business, so I'm going to give you some tips. Since the area is well guarded, we are going to have to sneak around as quietly as possible," Navi told Link, "Now, up this set of stairs, I see a couple of barrels. So, here's the plan. We sneak up the stairs, we grab a barrel, carve it out, and then we sneak across the spotlight riddled-place over there."
Navi pointed to a large clearing with spotlights circling on the floor. Tetra wasn't kidding when she said the place was heavily guarded. Link walked up the flight of stairs and stared at two barrels, which were standing there for absolutely no reason, as far as Link could see.
"And," Navi flew over to one of them, "now I just have to carve out the bottom…"
Navi tipped the barrel slightly.
"Hey! It doesn't have a bottom," Navi smiled, "This is going to save us a lot of time!"
Link turned to the second set of stairs, which lead up to the spotlights.
"Okay, now lift this up, over your head, and—Link, what are you doing?" Navi turned to Link.
Link bolted up the stairs.
"Wait, what the—" Navi flew after the boy, "We were supposed to—"
Link ran into the center of the large clearing, turned to the spotlights, and began waving his arms above his head to get their attention.
"Yooo hooo," Link called out, "Over here!"
"No! Link! Don't be an idiot—"
All of the spotlights directed their attention at the boy. Link nonchalantly put his hands up as the alarm bells rang.
"What are you DOING?" Navi yelled at the boy.
"Finding my sister," Link told Navi as some big guards came toward him.
"But when you're caught, you can't do anything!" Navi yelled, "Isn't your sister a prime example of that?"
Meanwhile, in a jail cell, somewhere in Forsaken Fortress…
"Almost…almost…" Aryll smirked.
Aryll adjusted her lock pick in the big lock on the door. She held her tongue absent-mindedly between her teeth. Sweat from exertion ran down her cheek. If she just angled the pick correctly, it'd snap open.
"Duuhhh…" she heard the voice of the dirty one from behind her, "How long is she going to be doing that?"
"Hmph!" the cleaner one's voice said, "I don't know! Whatever it is she's even doing, it's certainly uncivilized, that's what! And I've told you before: don't speak to me."
Aryll concentrated on the lock again. She heard a soft 'click'. She smirked. The operation had begun. She stepped back and kicked the door open. The lock skittered across the floor. She grinned wickedly.
"Heeyy…" the dirty one chuckled, "Look what she did…"
"Oh my word!" the cleaner one exclaimed, "What do you think you're doing?"
"Take that, Seagull Associates!" Aryll laughed.
She could feel both of them staring at her. They didn't seem to realize the gigantic feat Aryll had just pulled. But then again, she realized three hours ago that her cellmates weren't normal. Cellmates aside, the operation had just begun. Stage One: Break out of jail…check. Stage Two: Retrieve Weapons.
"It's time to advance to the second stage," Aryll said to herself.
"Does this mean we're free?" the stupid one asked.
Aryll paused. Despite how obtuse these two companions were, leaving them in captivity was not an option. The Seagull King's Followers would probably torture them to get information about Aryll's whereabouts. Taking them with her was not an option either. Their lack of military expertise would slow her down. She had one option. Aryll had to use them as a diversion while she found the storehouse where her equipment was.
Aryll turned to the two of them, "Your aliases?"
"…Whaaaat?" the dirty one asked.
"She's asking for our names, you uncivilized buffoon," the cleaner one smacked the dirty one on the top of her head with her fan.
"Oh… My name's Maaaggie…" the dirty one said.
"And I am Mila von Schmied," the cleaner one curtsied, "Pleasure to meet your acquaintance."
"Alright, soldiers" Aryll nodded, "we're busting out of here."
"We are?" Maggie asked.
"Affirmative," Aryll gave a swift nod, "However, in order to accomplish our goal, we will need to take down the kingpin. Otherwise, our efforts will be wasted."
The girls looked at her intently. They seemed to be understand thus far.
"First," Aryll looked around, "We will need to scout out the area to see where the leader rests."
Aryll pulled out two flare guns out from under her dress. She handed one to each of them. DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Agents Maggie and Mila each got a Flare Gun!
"Now," Aryll looked at both of them, "Fire this at the sky if you are about to get caught."
"Alriight…" Maggie giggled.
"Wait a minute here!" Mila snapped her head to Aryll, "How will firing a gun when we are about to get caught be beneficial at all?"
Agent Mila was clearly smarter than Agent Maggie, "When you fire your gun, we will know where you are, and stay clear of that area. Understand?"
Agent Mila raised her eyebrow. Obviously, her sign of approval.
"Alright," Aryll looked from one girl to the other, "Whatever you do, don't get caught!"
"Yes, ma'me," Mila hid the gun in the folds of her skirt.
"Golly…" Maggie laughed, "I've never been this important before…"
"Meet back here if you find anything," Aryll said, "Repeat. Meet back here if you find anything!"
Aryll watched the girls head off in scattered directions. Aryll took a different direction, and headed out the door.
Meanwhile…in a jail cell in a different part of the complex…
Link was thrown onto the floor of the cell. A little tune played in the background as he landed: "Doo doo doo do dum". Link picked himself off the floor.
"Great going, genius," Navi buzzed, "Now how are you going to get out?"
Link examined his jail cell. There was a large table, and a bookshelf. On the shelf, there was a lone jar.
"It's not like you have explosives or anything to get out of here," Navi grumbled, "Heck, do you have any equipment besides that bag you got from Niko?"
Link climbed up onto the table, "I have a telescope."
"Well, then why didn't you use that to scout out your surroundings before leaping ahead without thinking?" Navi asked, "Or, better yet, why don't you use that dang telescope in place of your sword? It may not have a blade, but you could at least beat your enemies to death!"
"Hey, that's not a bad idea…" Link paused.
"Honestly, think next time before doing something stupid like that!" Navi buzzed up and down.
"I did think before going out there," Link said, "And, honestly, I'm quiet surprised that they didn't throw me in the same cell as Aryll."
"Oh, so that was your master plan," Navi sighed, "Your plan was to get captured and be put in the same jail cell as your sister."
"Yeah, and?" Link asked.
"Well, think about it, Link," Navi glared at the boy, "Aryll is a girl. A helpless little girl. You are a boy. You, if you were armed, you could break the two of you out. Of course they put you in a different cell!"
"I wouldn't call Aryll a helpless little girl," Link said.
"Whatever," Navi groaned, "Whoever's in charge here wouldn't know that!"
"Well, excuu—" Link started.
Navi gave the boy an evil glare. Link immediately shut himself up. Wandering around the room, Link examined it closely. He tapped the bookshelf and shook it slightly. Satisfied he climbed onto the table and leapt on top of the bookshelf. Navi watched him quizzically. Link kicked the jar off with his foot. The ceramic vessel shattered on the floor, revealing a yellow rupee. More importantly there was a hole in the wall where the pot had been sitting before.
"Mind getting that for me?" Link asked, nodding his head toward the yellow rupee.
"Wow," Navi paused, grabbing the rupee, "This is the worst jail cell ever."
Link crawled through the tunnel and landed on the other side of the bars. He dusted himself off.
"There, that wasn't difficult," Link said.
"Yeah, sure," Navi grumbled.
Link walked farther down the hallway and came across a platform with a treasure chest on it. He opened it up and…DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Link got the Dungeon Map! Wait, map? Who would leave the map of the entire Fortress near a jail cell?
"Cool, I got the map," Link said.
"Honestly," Navi paused, "If it was that easy for you to escape and get a map, then how hard could finding your sister be?"
Aryll peered above the railing and inspected the perimeter. Six spotlights searched both the inside and the outside of the Fortress. Each of the spotlights produced by a strange contraption. Each seemed to be controlled by a minion. A minion of the enemy.
Aryll clenched her fist. That birdbrain was going down.
An alarm rang out. Drat. The Seagull King was aware of her escape.
A flare shot up into the sky. The small ball of fire left a trail of smoke behind it. Aryll knitted her brow—this unexpected siren could only mean one thing. One of her decoys had been caught.
Aryll was willing to bet it was Agent Maggie. However, Aryll's intuition told her that it was Agent Mila.
Aryll heard the sound of wings beating. She took cover in a corridor behind her, putting her hand on her pistol. The Seagull King flew overhead, and toward the flare. Aryll frowned. If they hadn't confiscated that bazooka of hers, she could have blasted the bird out of the sky and been done with it.
She needed to find the weapon's storage room. If the Seagulls distributed Aryll's ammunition, then the odds were definitely against her. But then Aryll remembered: birds don't have fingers to pull triggers.
"Dang it all!" shouted a voice from what seemed to be from the Seagull King, "We had all three of them under top security! How the heck did they manage to escape?"
Aryll squinted her eyes. On the back of the Seagull King was a human figure. Age: Unknown. Height: Unknown, but probably a bit shorter than Link. Hair colour: mix between auburn and a striking red. Hair length: too long. Gender: Unknown, but judging by the pitch of the voice, most likely male. Status: Not canon.
Aryll bit her lip. If she hadn't lent her Telescope to her onii-chan, she would be able to determine more of his stats. However, she knew enough to understand the situation. A hostage. The dang Seagull King wasn't only holding those other two girls as hostages, but he also had taken another person—assumed to be male—under his confinement. This was madness!
Aryll had a violent urge to yell "SPARTA!" but she knew it was a bad idea, so she restrained herself.
But this proved one thing above all others. Aryll had to get back the rest of her weaponry. Too many lives were at stake for the Seagull King to continue his reign over the Great Sea. There were too many innocent civilians at risk of being crushed by the Seagull King's evil claws. The Seagull King must be stopped. All in the name of peace…at least, that was what Grandma would have wanted her to say.
"What was that?" Navi asked.
Link looked up to the sky, pausing in his ladder climb. A small ball of fire had shot up into the sky, and was now leaving a trail of smoke behind it.
"A flare," Link's eyes widened, "Aryll's in trouble!"
"Umm…" Navi paused, "Not to burst your bubble, Link, but why would she know you were here?"
"Oh yeah," Link paused, "I guess flares are used to signal people. And unless she knew I was here, she wouldn't shoot that… It would draw too much attention to her current position."
"Either way," Navi flew towards Link, "We should still check it out."
"Yeah, yeah," Link rolled his eyes, "Just let me just see what's up here…"
Link climbed up the ladder a bit more, but then took a rest. Link panted. Boy, he hated ladders. Link swallowed to try to hydrate his throat. Link felt a buzzing in his pocket, and some blue light rippled out.
"You dummy!" Navi buzzed up and down, "I thought the director said 'No Cell Phones on set'! She's gonna kill us!"
"No, I don't think it's my cell…" Link looked at his pocket, "I put the song 'Weightless' as my ring tone."
"Gah," Navi said, "How I hate running gags…"
"Pardon?" Link raised an eyebrow.
"Never mind," Navi said, "Say, if it isn't your cell, then shouldn't it be Tetra's Gossip Speck?"
"Oh, probably," Link took another step up the ladder.
"Well, aren't you going to answer it?" Navi asked.
"Nah," Link said, "She's probably not going to tell me anything important. Besides, she probably won't care whether or not I pick up."
Meanwhile…in a pirate ship behind a rock…
"ANSWER, DANG YOU!" Tetra yelled at her glowing hunk of rock.
"Well, if you say so…" Navi paused.
Link continued his trek up the ladder. After what seemed like a long time, Link finally reached the top. Link bent over and caught his breath.
"Fatso," Navi muttered.
"Hey, I'm not…fat…" Link heaved, "I just hate climbing ladders, okay?"
"Umm, Link?" Navi looked up, "You may want to take cover."
Link raised an eyebrow. Navi pushed Link over, back onto the ladder. Link managed to grab onto the top rung, and was about to yell at Navi, but then he saw that large bird fly over them.
"Stupid…jerk," a loud grumbling was heard between the loud wing flaps of the bird, "Stupid…girls. If I was back on…I wouldn't be…"
The bird swooped down, and grabbed something below with its talons. It began to flap its way toward a platform. The person in its claws was dropped onto the platform, in which another, smaller, monster took the person into the building behind it.
"Are you sure that wasn't your sister?" Navi squinted, "I'm pretty sure I saw blond hair there…"
"No," Link climbed back up, "Aryll's smarter than that."
"But then who was that?"
"Don't know," Link shrugged.
"Don't you care?"
"She's not my sister. So…no."
Link looked forward again. There was a Bokoblin manning a contraption that worked the spotlight. Luckily for Link, it didn't seem to notice the boy in the bright green tunic and bright yellow hair against the night sky and dark stone.
"Okay, good," Navi smirked, "Now, when he sees you, he's going to want to fight you."
Link spotted a large jar in the corner.
"And when he does," Navi smiled, "You could hold up your shield. If he smacks you hard enough, it might make him drop his weapon—"
Link trotted over to the large jar, and picked it up. He ran up to the Bokoblin. It turned its head and looked at him.
"Eat this, fat face," Link had a stern expression on his face.
Link threw the gigantic jar at the Bokoblin. The blow was so powerful that the Bokoblin flew backwards. The jar, of course, shattered on impact. Three stylized sticks fell out.
"Hey, cool," Link smiled, "Weapons. I'm armed now!"
"Well, that's convenient," Navi said.
Link picked up one of the sticks and threw it at the Bokoblin. The beast flew backwards, and went up in a poof of smoke.
Link smirked, and then giggled slightly, "Ohhhh, who's the man? Huh? Who's the beast now, Navi? Huh? Huh?"
"Link, you had just gone through the most spontaneous and random way of defeating an enemy, I'll give you that," Navi said, "But that wasn't a very impressive battle. Heck, fat face? That enemy wasn't even remotely fat! Why the crap did you call him fat face?"
Link noticed something come out of the poof of smoke. Link wandered over to it. DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Link got a Joy Pendant! A beautiful butterfly pendant that flocks around happiness like butterflies flock around nectar…or something cheesy like that. It's absolutely useless to you unless you are a big fan of wearing this kind of stuff.
"Wait, you got jewelry?" Navi asked, "Excellent! Now we can give it to Zelda! Maybe now she'll actually pay you!"
"Umm…" Link paused, "What?"
"Oh right," Navi said, "Wrong Link."
Link dropped the stick.
"Wait, what are you doing?" Navi paused, "Aren't you going to take that with you?"
"Naw," Link shrugged, "It won't fit in my inventory."
"But it's something to fight with!" Navi exclaimed, "Can't you just carry it on your back?"
Link turned to the ladder, "Don't feel like it."
"Gaaaahhhhh…." Navi groaned, "Well, one thing's for sure. Princess Zelda would never hire you."
Link hoisted himself on the ladder.
"Honestly," Navi huffed, "She hired my Link years ago to collect jewelry for her, and she still hasn't paid him. Does she actually intend on paying him at all? Or 'employee' a new way of saying 'slave'?"
"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," Link sighed.
Link hopped down into the first area.
"Wait, Link, no!" Navi slapped her forehead, "What are you doing?"
Link ran into the pools of light dancing around the barrack. He just knocked out one of the two spotlights, but that didn't matter. Link danced around in circles, and flailed his arms wildly.
"No! Link! Stop!" Navi called out, "I can give you a lift if you want—"
The alarm rang out through Forsaken Fortress. Link lifted his arms in the air, where the spotlight focused it's light.
Doo doo doo do dum.
Alarms rang out. In his large bed, the man moaned. He cracked his shoulder and stiffly tumbled over. His shoulder was probably the first thing that hit the cold floor. It felt the most dislocated, for starters.
He withheld an exclamation of pain. The pain passed. His lower lip sagged open. He felt a puddle of drool collect at the side of his mouth. His finger twitched. His blanket had been tugged down with him.
Sleep. The one word that echoed through the man's mind: sleep. The notion seemed so amenable, and so simple. The edge of his mouth cracked into a subconscious smile.
Cold. The man's mouth frowned. He pulled the blanket up higher. His feet were cold now. His eyebrow twitched. He realized that his flesh was stuck to the cobblestones. He moved his arm. It felt like a sticky pile of gelatin. Making the slightest movement resulted in a ripping sensation. He'd much rather not move—just fall asleep where he was.
His open mouth sank lower into its frown. At some point or another, he'd have to get up. He'd have to go back into his bed. This was a dilemma.
Either the pain he would feel or the steadily increasing cold would wake him up further. This wasn't acceptable.
His ear twitched by the sound of the waves. He hadn't fallen onto his home fortress's floor. Condensation mixed with a cool surface—this was the Great Sea. His cheek had moisture in it.
By now the puddle of drool had started to seep under his cheek, and dribble towards his ear. Sleep was so desirable. Just like the power of the Sacred Realm was so many years ago. No. It wouldn't be like that. He wouldn't let this simple human function evade him, like that power so long ago. He was so close to attaining this paradise, just like he was now close again to finding the other—
Alarms rang out again. He felt his eyebrows knit in response to his welling irritation. He sloppily lifted one arm up, and placed its palm onto the cold floor.
The goddesses mocked him. He peeled himself reluctantly from the stone floor. He wiped the drool off the side of his cheek.
His blanket rippled off of his shoulders to reveal a lack of a shirt. The man cracked his neck. Now that he was halfway up, he might as well do something productive.
"MOE!" the man bellowed.
There was a long pause before a big Moblin waddled into the room. This Moblin had absolutely no distinguishing features apart from the fact that he looked slightly stupider than all the others.
"Moe, what is going on?" the man growled, "Why in the Goddesses' name do the alarms keep sounding?"
"Duuuhhh…" the Moblin looked up to ponder something, "Dat's because the prisoners keep escapin'!"
"WHAT? Escaping? I insisted that they must be heavily guarded! Wasn't that brat with the guard? I specifically instructed—"
"Well," Moe held the stupid expression on his face, "We'd gotten one of thems back already…"
"One," the man held up his finger, "Out of three."
"Uhhhh… Nopes," Moe nodded, "It was defiantly four! Yup! One, two, three, four!"
"Four?" the man raised an eyebrow, "We have four girls now?"
"Uhh, nopes!" Moe exclaimed, "One is a boi, I think. We founds him running around heres."
"Four…" the man stroked his chin.
"And dere's a pirate ship hidin' behind a rock over dere," Moe pointed out the window.
"Moe, if we're lucky," the man didn't seem to hear, "then we may have the last holder of the Sacred Triangle in our clutches."
"Hee hee," Moe chuckled, "I think dat one gurl looks puuuuuuuurdy…"
The man glared at the monster pig, "I should have known better than to ask for you. Trying to have an intellectual conversation with you is like trying to have an intellectual conversation with a Bokoblin. The only difference is that you can actually talk."
"Dem Bokoblins don't know nothin'!" Moe chuckled, "All dey can do is squeal all day. Nothin' more."
The man paused. He wouldn't call it squealing. More like an annoying nattering than a squeal.
"Whatever," the man combed back his hair, "Get me that boy… That rider boy…"
"Duuuhhh," Moe lifted up a finger, "I thinks he's busy tryin' to get da gurls back, boss."
The man groaned. Oh well. At least that whiny brat was doing his job. At least part of it.
"Whatever," the man adjusted himself, "Bring me that boy in half an hour or so. I am going to try and rest. If those alarms go off one more time…"
"Would ya like us to turn dem off?" Moe asked.
"NO!" the man yelled, "That's the last thing you should do!"
"Awwlright," Moe nodded, "Sleep tight, boss."
The man heaved. He grabbed his blanket, plucked his body off of the floor, and crawled onto the bed. He got into a comfortable position. He shut his eyes. He could see them. Mmmm… A crowd of Gerudo women… Mmmmmm… Lots of them. Lots. Mmmm…
A Moblin turned around suddenly. It's beady eyes glared at the horizon around it. It had heard something. Something that sounded like escapee. It held out its lantern towards the darkness.
It saw a small poof of dust erupt from underneath a barrel behind him. He glared at the barrel. The barrel didn't move. The Moblin didn't quite seem to remember the barrel being that close to it. Wasn't it a couple more meters away?
…Nah. The Moblin turned around, and continued doing its rounds.
"Great going, idiot," a female voice came from the barrel.
"It didn't catch me!" a boy's voice came from the barrel.
"Well, it almost did!" the female voice nattered, "Be careful, next time!"
The barrel lifted itself up higher, and a pair of boots was now visible. The boots walked forward. Unaware of what was on the ground before it, one of the boots kicked a small rock, and sent it scuttling out ahead of the barrel.
The Moblin turned around suddenly. It defiantly heard something that time. It sniffed the air. The Moblin glared at the barrel. He saw that small puff of dust again. But, besides that, nothing seemed unordinary. Except that the barrel seemed a little closer to it.
The Moblin shrugged, and continued its guard duty.
"That was a close one," the boy's voice whispered.
The barrel lifted itself up again, and the pair of legs reappeared. They began to walk forward. Unfortunately for the barrel, seeing where it was going was rather difficult. It banged itself up against the wall. The barrel dropped over the legs. Fortunately, the Moblin didn't seem to notice.
The barrel began to crawl forward again. It let out a small sigh. Who in their right mind would carve out the bottom of every barrel in the complex? Right, the barrel remembered. This was a fanfic. Nothing made sense.
Halfway across the room, the barrel seemed to be getting the hang of things. It strode forward confidently. It was the barrel! It was the boots! It was a mean, green sneaky machine—
The barrel crashed into another barrel. It froze. The barrel dropped over its boots again. The Moblin looked around. A larger cloud of dust went up this time. Wait. Was that barrel always beside that other one? The Moblin shrugged and moved on.
"Hey! Watch it!" a fierce whisper came from the second barrel.
The second barrel lifted itself up, revealing a pair of legs with sandals on it. The second barrel kicked the first barrel.
"Owww…" the boy's voice moaned.
"Wait a minute…" the female voice paused.
"Aryll?" the first barrel seemed to shake from the outcry.
The Moblin swerved around. It heard something. Another burst of dust. Do barrels usually do that? The Moblin's eyes examined the barrels. He then moved on…keeping an eye on the barrels.
"Aryll, what are you doing here?" the first barrel whispered.
"Busting out, of course," the second barrel sounded confident.
"But that's our job!" the boy voice whispered.
"Onii-chan, stay out of this if you don't want to get hurt," the second barrel hissed warningly.
"Wait," the female voice came from the first barrel, "if you're here, we can get out of here. We've got your sister, now all that's left is—"
"Can't go yet!" the second barrel huffed, "The Seagull King took most of my ammunition."
If the barrel could raise an eyebrow, it would, "Most of it?"
"Okay, okay," the boy's voice sighed, "We'll get your ammo, and them we'll leave."
"No!" the second barrel protested, "The Seagull King must be destroyed! I can't leave until that happens."
"Aryll…" the boy's voice sighed.
"It won't take long. I promise, onii-chan," the second barrel radiated with confidence.
"Do you realize what he's been through to get you?" the female voice hissed.
"I was put into a barrel, and shot off a catapult," the boy voice said nonchalantly.
"Nice!" came from the second barrel.
The first barrel could feel the second barrel giving them a thumbs up. The first barrel wasn't sure whether it liked this feeling or not…
"Look, Miss Military," the female voice hissed from the first barrel, "Get whatever was confiscated from you, and then we're getting out of here. And that's final."
"I can't," the second barrel said bluntly, "I can't abandon the hostages."
"Whoa," the boy's voice seemed amazed, "The Seagull King has hostages?"
"Link!" the female voice whispered harshly, "I can't believe you're buying this!"
"Oh…" the boy's voice paused, "You mean the other girls kidnapped from all re—"
"Two of them are female, yes," the second barrel huffed, "But one of them is male. Over."
"Male?" the boy's voice paused, "Are you sure?"
"Positive," the second barrel seemed to nod, "A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just like those old dumb blonde jokes. Only this time, it's the brunette that's dim witted."
The first barrel paused. Redhead. That non-canon red spot on the Seagull King's back. The first barrel sighed. She thought that human was a hostage. Not a minion.
"Listen, Aryll," the boy's voice sighed, "The redhead isn't a hostage…"
"Now…" the second barrel sounded like it was plotting, "In order to save all three of them, I'm defiantly going to need that bazooka they confiscated…"
"ARYLL!" the first barrel stood up, "Listen to me! You might just be wasting time when you—"
The Moblin swerved around! He defiantly heard that! And, sure enough, when it looked at the two barrels, one of them had a pair of boots! Barrels don't wear boots! They don't have feet to wear them! The Moblin threw its lantern at the first barrel and the alarm bells rang out through the fortress.
The first barrel sighed, and lifted the hollow barrel over its head, to reveal Link and Navi. The Moblin waddled over to them. Link lazily lifted his arms up. The Moblin took them away.
Doo doo doo do dum.
When the Moblin came back, the second barrel was still there, but farther ahead than the Moblin remembered it. The Moblin paused. Considering there was a Hylian underneath the first barrel, and there were two other hostages left running around the fortress, the Moblin shouldn't take its chances.
It waddled over to the second barrel. It lifted it up. What greeted him was a small little girl in an army hat, armed with a flare gun. The girl pointed the flare gun at the Moblin. She pulled the trigger.
The Moblin's body spiraled around the room, and exploded into a corner. The light from the flare lit the room. The Moblin's body went up in a poof of smoke. Something dropped out of it. Aryll dropped the barrel over top of her head again, and waddled over to the goods.
DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! The barrel got a Skull Necklace!
"You got caught AGAIN?" Navi buzzed up and down, "Are you even trying anymore?"
"I was trying to begin with?" Link turned to Navi.
"Oh my Farore!" Navi growled, "This is your sister's life on the line! And you're not even stopping yourself from getting caught?"
"Her life's on the line?" Link asked, "I'm more concerned about everything living in this fortress than I am about her!"
"Well, hurry up and help her get out of here!" Navi hissed, "I'm getting tired of being here!"
"Okay, okay," Link sighed, "Let me check the map, and…"
Link pulled out his map and compass. Despite the fact that he had not gained the compass on screen, he used it anyway. The Zubat method, people. He examined the map carefully.
"Hey, look!" Link said, "I missed a chest!"
"Gaaahh…" Navi sighed.
"Wait," Link paused, "Who are these other cursors?"
A short time later…
"Link! Hurry up! We don't have time for this!"
"Wheeee!" Link grinned widely.
"Link, will you stop swinging on the rope like that?" Navi buzzed, "We've got to save your sister!"
"Hey! There are no swing sets on Outset!" Link continued to swing back and forth, "Give me a break here!"
"But they haven't been invented yet!" Navi yelled.
"That's why!" Link retorted triumphantly.
Aryll rolled across the room, to the wall on the other side. She pulled out her last gun with ammo and pointed it to the room in front of her. Nothing. Aryll rolled to the other side of the room again, and put her back to the wall. Aryll glanced back and forth around a corner. Sidling expertise ran in the family.
Status of the next room: For the most part, Empty. Furnishings: a few bunk beds. Hygiene: rats running around. Enemy concentration: nothing she couldn't handle.
Aryll smirked, and stood upright. She twirled her gun around her finger and fastened it on her waist, ignoring the couple of dead Moblins behind her. She heard them go up in a poof of smoke.
Good thing enemies disappear after you kill them, Aryll thought, otherwise, she'd have to find a closet to hide the bodies in. And there didn't seem to be a closet in sight.
Aryll noted a small chest in the corner. Beside it, a pile of idle guns. Aryll's lips split into a grin. She had already found the rest of her firearms. Stage two was almost accomplished.
Aryll searched the room once more for security. She saw a stone carving of a Moblin on the wall.
Aryll saw a fresh track of scorch marks on the floor.
A Seagull Security system. Aryll knew it. Those birds were gaining too much power. The Seagull King had used magic to create a device to keep her from retrieving her weaponry. Blast that bird; not only was world enslavement and dictatorship in his ultimate goal, but now he had set up traps to keep her from restocking.
Aryll pulled her helmet down over her eyes a little more. She tightened the strap under her chin, and readjusted her belt. She paused. She looked down. She remembered she didn't have a belt anymore.
She held her gun out in front of her. To double check that the safety was off. She loaded a couple of remaining bullets into the gun. She looked in front of her.
She bolted. She heard a 'snap' from the direction of the statue—sure enough, the statue began to glare at her, shooting laser beams out of its eyes.
Dang, Seagull Technology was advanced.
She was an arms reach from her supplies. She heard the pair of lasers scorch the ground behind her. To throw the security system off guard, she did a barrel roll to the side. She saw the beams follow her every movement. She lurched for the pile of guns, and—
DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Aryll retrieved enough Fire Arms and Ammunition to supply an entire army! These weapons of mass destruction really shouldn't be in the possession of children of any age. Or adults of any age. Or grandparents of any age… Who sells this kind of stuff to a little girl anyway?
Aryll pulled up the START Menu and equipped her bazooka. She spun the blaster around to the stone statue on the wall.
"HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!" Aryll screamed.
The giant missile went spiraling toward the Moblin statue on the wall.
A Bokoblin stared at his screen. He lurched backward, and covered his face reflexively. He then turned, and began nattering to an Iron Knuckle behind him. He pointed at his screen.
"What?" the Iron Knuckle exclaimed, "We lost footage from the bunk room?"
The Bokoblin nodded, and let out a guttural sound that sounded like a kind of purring.
The Iron Knuckle turned around, "Sound the alarm!"
"You've got to be kidding me!" whispered a boy's voice from under the barrel, "They've found me again?
"
"No, I don't think so…" a female voice paused, "Maybe they caught one of the other people…"
"That's unlikely…" the sound of paper accompanied the boy's voice, "See? The map shows both of the other people on the map."
Alarms rang out again, only they sounded farther away.
"Oh, one of them is caught," the boy's voice said, "That cursor is being transported over to that other room…"
"You think it's your sister?" the female voice asked.
"My sister? Aryll?" the boy voice withheld some snickering, "Are you trying to make me laugh?"
"N-No," the female voice whispered, "Just…just don't get caught again! Or else I'll—"
"Okay! Okay!" the boy's voice whispered, "I won't!"
The familiar sound of annoying ringing erupted across the fortress.
"Oh come on, AGAIN?" yelled the redhead.
The redhead's face scrunched up, and he clenched his fists. One of his fists wrapped itself around a rock.
"I've just come back from the other side of the stupid map!" the redhead yelled, "And ever since I've come back, it's nothing but 'retrieve this prisoner' this and 'don't sleep tonight' that!"
The redhead chucked the rock in his hand in the general direction of the center of the fortress.
"Okay, you know what?" the redhead lowered his voice a little bit, "Screw it! Those guards are going to take the prisoner back!"
The gigantic bird in the nest ruffled its feathers. The redhead seemed to become aware of the fact that nobody he wanted to yell at could hear him, and, in essence, was talking to himself. The boy readjusted himself, and grabbed an apple he had beside him. He grabbed a large blade and began peeling. He peeled off more of the apple itself than he did peel.
The bird caught a whiff of the apple's scent. It turned toward the source, and began to eye the fruit hungrily.
The boy glared over his shoulder, "Like heck you're getting some of this!"
The boy nudged the closest part of the bird. The bird turned its head away a bit, but still watched the fruit out of the corner of its eye.
The redhead continued peeling away. He looked out in front of him, and examined the fortress idly. Stone walls, stone corridors, stone rooms, stone stone stone. It's like this island was designed to keep out heat. And when the northern winds got strong enough, they would tunnel through the hallways, and almost sweep one off one's feet.
It also didn't help that all he was given for clothing was a thin shirt. Stupid fortress—
The boy squinted. One of the spotlights was out. Were they changing the guard? Another one of the spotlights swerved out of position. He squinted. He saw the dot that he assumed to be a Bokoblin up against a green and yellow speck. A poof of smoke was seen. He held his apple pensively. How strange. But then again, that is how they changed the guard around here. But a green and yellow Bokoblin?
A large beak lurched down, and snatched away the peeled apple. The boy swerved around, and saw as the bird gulped it down.
"H-Hey!" the redhead yelled, "What was that!"
If the boy didn't know better, he could have sworn he saw the bird smile. An aura of extreme satisfaction filled the air.
"You jerk!" the boy stood up, "That was my apple!"
The bird screeched at the boy's face. The bird's breath alone ruffled his hair. The strength of the air impacting his face made him take a step backward to keep him from falling over. When the bird stopped and its beak closed, the boy glared at it.
"Bad bird!" the boy smacked the beak.
As the boy sat down again, he could feel the bird's triumphant aura.
The boy huffed, to appear unnerved, "I'll just eat the peel."
He picked up some of the remaining scraps of peel. He gulped, and couldn't withhold a repulsed look. …He hated the peel.
A little girl ran out onto the ledge. He looked up. A giant bazooka was hoisted on her shoulder, and aimed straight at the bird.
"DIE, SEAGULL KING!" she screamed.
"WHAT THE CRAP?" the redhead shrieked, jumping a foot in the air.
A loud 'kaboom' echoed through the stone walls of the island. Link looked up. He saw that large bird as it began to panic. It flapped around wildly, and its large feathers flew everywhere. The commotion looked like it had made the person fall off the platform—for it was now dangling on the ledge. Another 'kaboom' echoed. This time Link saw the gigantic bullet whiz past.
Looks like Aryll had made it to the Seagull King's nest.
Alarm bells were deafening this time. Link saw on his map that the last little cursor was being dragged back to its prison cell. He was now the only one who wasn't still in jail.
Link paused. How'd they manage to take Aryll hostage again? And so quickly?
Link sighed. Looks like he really did have to rescue her after all. Wow. Him rescuing Aryll? Just thinking that thought made him feel supernatural. He didn't think it was possible that Aryll would need his rescuing.
"Link, what are you doing!" a familiar voice came from his hat, "The last spotlight is just up there! Hurry it up!"
"Alright, alright already!" Link moaned.
Sheesh, this fairy was annoying. She wouldn't let him space out in peace. How did the other Link put up with her?
Link heaved his way up, hopefully, his last ladder for the rest of the evening. Every time he lifted his arm up, he remembered the pain and agony he hated from every other ladder he had climbed before. Ugh. This was the worst birthday ever.
Link scrambled onto the top of the ledge, and wheezed for a bit. He found it strange that the Bokoblin only a few meters away couldn't hear him. After he caught his breath, he looked for a vase. Like all the other spotlights, there was a random jar on the ledge. Link picked up the vase, and chucked it at the Bokoblin. Before the Bokoblin could react properly, Link threw two sticks at it.
It went up in a poof of smoke, like the other two. Unfortunately, there wasn't Joy Pendant. He only had gotten one so far. Wait, this was unfortunate?
Link looked up, and watched the spotlights as they broke themselves. He smirked. Oh, what a sneaky beast he was—now he could roam around the fortress undetected. He could almost prance past the front door, and not be spotted. Undetected. Completely undetected.
Except for the Moblins. But, whatever. Aryll probably took most of them out, anyway.
Link continued along the Fortress. Navi floated idly beside him. He wasn't sure why she was doing that at first, but then he occasionally saw her pick up a couple of things on the fortress floor and fly off into his hat. This disgusted him at first, but then Navi came up with the excuse of "I'm decorating. It's so bland in my apartment right now. Nya nya nyeeeaaaa." He knew he couldn't convince her otherwise, so he decided that the best thing to do was to distract her. Let her talk about herself. People loved talking about themselves, Link remembered, and that was probably the same for Navi. If she got distracted by the conversation, that would mean less stuff off the floor being put into his hat.
"So, Navi…was it?" Link turned to the ball of light.
"I told you not to forget my name!" Navi huffed, "You idiot!"
Link rolled his eyes, "I was just making sure I got it right. Sheesh. Anyway…"
"Yes?"
"What is your Link like?" Link asked, "He's obviously not like me at all, since you keep getting surprised when I be myself. He has to be quite different from me, then."
"Well, yes," Navi said, "He is a LOT different. One main difference between him and you is that you think things through. Throughout all my adventures with him, I don't think he stopped and thought about the consequences of his actions. Not once!"
"Hmm," Link paused.
"I mean, I remember back when we started adventuring together, he didn't even know we were going to the shopping mall! He just followed me out of the Kokiri Village! Just like that!"
Link found that he was losing interest, "Uh-huh."
"And, well, let me tell you about the time where we went to the Princess's Castle. And let me tell you, that was no easy task…"
The redheaded boy from before was thrown to the floor. As his face hit the floor, he could hear the two Moblin guards turn to leave. The boy knew what they were thinking. They had brought him to their leader, as instructed, and had finished their role.
The boy picked himself off the floor. He massaged his jaw. He stopped when he saw the person who summoned him, glaring at him. Fully clothed, and was probably gonna chew his ear off. The boy's ear, that is.
The boy chuckled. The mental image of his superior trying to chew his own ear off was—
"Get your insignificant hide off the ground," the man said from his clenched teeth.
He saw the man's lip lift at the side. It was as if he was baring his teeth at him.
"Now."
The boy turned his head away from the man. He wanted to sit on the floor, the boy thought. What was the man gonna do about it?
The man lifted up his hand. He engulfed it in what looked like a gigantic green fire ball. He glared down his nose at the boy. The boy quickly got off the floor. The man put out the fireball in a quick hand motion.
"I expect obedience from you," the man growled.
The man walked toward an open window. The boy clenched both fists.
"Now tell me," the man said with clenched teeth again, "What have you been doing for the last couple of hours?"
"Eating," he mumbled.
"Boy, as much as I want to keep you alive," the man visibly got tenser, "Need I remind you why you're here in the first place?"
"I just came from across the map to bring you another girl!" the boy protested.
The man spun around.
"No. You did not just come from across the map," the man pointed a finger at the boy, "The Helmaroc King did. You were only along for the ride. You didn't do anything."
His fists trembled. He looked away.
"Now, when the prisoners escaped…" the man growled, "Where were you?"
The boy didn't respond.
"You weren't at your post," the man snarled, "Where were you?"
"I was feeding the Helmaroc King," he replied.
"Were you? Well, look what happened. I've been unable to sleep for hours because of the constant sound of alarm bells going off. You were supposed to be guarding those girls," the man hollered.
"But…"
"I run this Fortress, boy," the man radiated with internal rage, "When I eat, when I sleep, and even when I am not here, nothing happens here without my knowing."
"I was feeding him—" the boy protested.
"That bird can feed itself. It does not need you," the man growled, "You may be its rider, but your primary responsibility is to watch those girls."
"I—" the boy began.
The man glared at him, "Do I make myself clear?"
The boy nodded stiffly.
The man relaxed slightly, "It's been brought to my attention that there is also another boy running around."
"…Another boy?" the redhead asked. It sounded familiar. Like a green and yellow speck with the Bokoblin guard.
"He may have something I want," the man explained, "My guards will take care of him. As for you, I want you to keep a close watch on the prisoners."
"Un…understood…" the boy clenched his teeth.
"Leave," the man indicated toward the door.
The boy lowered his head, and dragged his feet as he moved toward the door. One day, just one day...
"And it was finally in that loop where I decided to go into Fairy Hibernation," Navi nodded, "I was just getting so sick and tired of Link…"
Link almost collapsed on the floor. Mental Note to Self: never, and he meant NEVER, under any circumstances, let Navi talk about herself. Link groaned. He felt like clawing his ears off. Maybe that would relieve the pain.
"And, well, I remember having this very strange and vivid dream while I was hibernating," Navi continued, "See, I remember this polar bear, who wanted to play the kazoo. And, boy, did he ever want to play that kazoo! Anyways, along the way, he made lots of friends. Oh, let's see if I can count them all…Well, there was a penguin, and a—"
"Oh hey look!" Link was looking for any method to make the fairy shut up, "There's my sword!"
Sure enough, Navi turned around, and saw Link was pointing to his sword. Link ran forward, and began to yell and jump for joy. Spikes shot up behind Link. A Bokoblin that guarded the door spotted Link.
"Ack! When'd he get there?" Link exclaimed, "And, dang, he's already seen me!"
"No duh, Link," Navi buzzed up and down, "It's not like you were being really loud to draw his attention or anything!"
Link dashed towards his sword like a ninja. Or, at least, he imagined that he did it like a ninja. DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Link retrieved the Sword he dropped! You idiot! Don't lose it again!
Link felt the Bokoblin breathing on his neck. Link turned and slashed at the Bokoblin. It held up some wooden planks. Huh, a shield. Link grinned. Finally, a suitable enemy. This was perfect. If Link could defeat a Bokoblin with a shield, then people would take him seriously! He would be the man! No, more than that! He would be a knight! The Knight from Outset Isle! He liked the ring of that.
"Link! Hurry up!" Navi yelled, "He's been open several times already!"
Link glared at Navi, and began slashing away recklessly before Navi could steal the spotlight, like she did last time.
After a few slashes, the Bokoblin fell down, and went up in a poof of smoke. The door unlocked itself, and the spikes disappeared. Link paused. Something had occurred to him.
"Navi," Link paused, "If you were so strong, and were able to take out the Bokoblins back in the woods, then why didn't you just take out all the Moblins in my path?"
There was a very long pause.
"…Oh, hey! The door's open! Let's go through!" Navi exclaimed.
Link sighed, and shoved the door open.
Link crept forward, and got a good look at his surroundings. It was a large room, with an open ceiling. It looked rather dingy for Link's taste. Link continued along on his tiptoes.
"There's your sister over there," Navi pointed.
"Shh!" Link shushed, "We don't want the guards to hear us!"
Link looked to where Navi was pointing. There was a wooden jail cell, with only one door. A wooden jail cell. Wood. Wood burns. Aryll had explosives. What were they thinking?
Within the cage were three girls, one who looked dirt poor, one who looked filthy rich, and the last one, of course, was Aryll. The other two seemed surprised at his entrance, and probably didn't know he was even in the Fortress with them.
But, of course, Aryll paid no attention to him. In her hands was a large metal file. Aryll was too preoccupied with her continual sawing motion to notice Link walk in. Link sighed.
"Aryll, what are you doing?" Link asked.
"They put me in a wood cell," Aryll grinned, "Fools! I'm going to use friction to burn it to the ground!"
In the ensuing silence, one of the other girls walked up to the bars, "Hiii… My name's Maaaggie."
Aryll snapped her head up, and hid the metal file behind her back. But as soon as she saw Link standing by the door, her face lightened.
"Onii-chan!" Aryll smiled.
Link raised an eyebrow. Aryll coughed and went back to filing.
"Here, I'll give you a hand," Link shrugged, "My sword can cut down small trees in one hit."
"No, I'll give you guys a hand," Navi flew out of Link's hat, "I'm a professional at these sorts of things!"
"Alright, alright, Navi," Link groaned, "I'll let you do your thing."
Aryll stared at Navi in a way that made Link uneasy. Then Link got a scary mental image: if Aryll and Navi ever teamed up…
"It's not like anyone would believe three little girls when they said a fairy burst open the jail cell," Link muttered under his breath.
Link trotted toward the cell. Suddenly he heard something, and froze in his tracks. It was the sound of wings flapping, he realized, and it was getting louder. A distinct scent filled the air.
"I smell a non-canon character…" Link said slowly.
Link looked up, and saw that gigantic bird land squarely in the middle of the room. It opened its mouth and squawked loudly. Link's jaw dropped.
"Wah!" Link let out, "It's bigger than I thought it was!"
"Whoa!" Navi gasped, "Okay, I don't want that thing seeing me."
Navi flew into Link's hat.
"You can pick up boulders, you can beat up Bokoblins, and even attempt to break open a jail cell," Link tried to look at the back of his head, "but when a gigantic bird shows up, you hide?"
"Shut up," came from the hat, "I look a lot like bird-food, okay?"
"Coward," Link huffed.
A voice came from behind the bird's neck, "Get him!"
The bird ruffled its feathers, and took more interest in the surroundings.
"I said GET HIM!" the voice sounded annoyed.
Link saw a foot kick the base of the bird's neck. The bird huffed, but raised its head.
"Uh oh," Link took a step back.
The bird snatched Link up with its beak. Below, Aryll lunged at the bars.
"Don't bring onii-chan into this!" she screamed, "It's me you're at war with, not him!"
The bird began to fly upward.
"I am the general in this battle! He's more of a lieutenant! I swear, there will be consequences for this!" Aryll bellowed from below.
"Oh, what, I'm only a pawn to you?" Link yelled back.
Aryll yelled louder as they got farther away, "I WILL AVENGE HIM! YOU WILL PAY!"
As the bird flew up, and out of the room, Aryll glared at it. She turned around. Her two comrades were giving her strange looks.
"Well," Aryll sighed, "Time to get back to work."
Aryll pulled out the file again, and continued sawing away at the bars.
The bird flew up into the open night sky. Out of the corner of his eye, Link saw the non-canon character give a strange look to Aryll below.
"What is her problem!" he said bitterly.
"Trust me, you don't want to know," Link groaned.
With a couple of verbal orders, the gigantic bird flew over to the top of the fortress. A ship had been wrought in two and the stern had somehow been thrown atop this rock. It had been transformed into the fortress' headquarters. Complete with a patio. The bird flew down. On the patio a person had his back turned to them. Uneven red stuff crowned the top of the cloak the man was wearing. Link's eyes widened.
"Holy crap!" Link gaped, "A decapitated person!"
"What?" the man growled, "I am not decapitated!"
The man turned around, and showed Link his face, and, more importantly, that the stuff Link had thought to be a severed neck, was actually striking red hair.
Link gulped, "Oh."
A soft sniggering came from behind the bird's neck.
"You know," the voice chuckled, "you actually do look decapitated from behind."
"Silence!" the man bellowed.
Non-canon cowering noises followed.
"That voice," Navi peeked out from Link's hat, "Is that—"
"He's not the one we want," the man tried to regain his composure, "He does not have the Hero of Time with him."
Link could feel Navi dash back into the hat. The man tilted his head sharply toward the sea. The bird tossed Link across the water. As Link went hurtling in the air, he made a perfect parabolic arch across the sky. Wheeeeeeeeeee!
A small green speck shot across the sky like a shooting star. The pirate crew watched the speck intently.
"Well…" a big pirate paused, "That's Shrimpy alright…"
The pirate with glasses turned to Tetra, "Okay…so…now what?"
There was a long pause.
"Niko, give me back my bandana," Tetra said.
Link's body floated lifelessly on top of the waves. As his body bobbed up and down in the water, the hull of a bright red boat floated towards him…
Cherry-sama: Hooray! Finally done this chapter!
Toon Link: Augh…the non-canonness… It burnssss…
Navi: Make it stoppp…
Cherry-sama: Hey! I'm allowed to write OCs too!
Link: Nooo, the horrors…
Cherry-sama: Oh come on, it can't be that bad.
Link: Yes it can…
Aryll: (saws away at jail bars) Soon I'll…
Cherry-sama: You know, you're supposed to say "Please Review", and "Please Read" at the beginning of the chapter.
Aryll: (continues sawing) I'm busy. Go away.
Cherry-sama: (sighs loudly)