Upstaging Illusion

Chapter Four

Try Again --Keane

What I was isn't what I am.

I'd change back, but I don't know if I can.

Still, I'll try,

Try again,

Try again.

Baby I die

Every night, every time…

But I was made the way I am,

I'm not a stone, I'm just a man.

Lay down your arms and I

Will lay down mine.

Rip back the time that we've been wasting.

Ewan watched as Desmond's eyes scanned the jungle floor, the bushes, the tree tops. He was searching furiously for something with his squinting, brown eyes. Ewan reached his hand out carefully as Locke continued his speech. He patted Desmond's hand. "You okay, Des?" he asked softly as there was a pause in the conversation.

The brown eyes continued searching. Hurley added as all eyes turned to the mad Scot, "Hey guys… is something wrong with Desmond?" At this, Desmond's eyes widened and he raced off into the jungle. Ewan was surprised to see how fast the man could dart past the branches and leaves.

"Oi, Des!" he cried. He looked over at Hurley for help, but he possessed the same look of shock as everybody else. Ewan raced after Desmond into the jungle, soon followed by Charlie and Sayid.

Soon they reached the beach where Desmond continued running. Ewan exhaled loudly and rested his hands on his knees. A few people began to watch as Des whipped off his shirt and shoes and made a flailing dive into the water. Ewan stared, his face flooded with concern. "What the hell is he doing?" he asked Charlie.

Paying no attention to him at all, Charlie turned to Sun. "Hey… where's Claire?" Without listening to even half of Sun's response, Charlie headed out into the water as well. By now, Des had an unconscious Claire in his arms and he was carrying her to shore. He placed her gently on the ground and moved his sandy fingers across her face. He started giving her CPR. Charlie whined, "Hey, let me help. Desmond, let me help."

Ewan bent down and tried to pull Charlie away. "He doesn't need help, you--"

"Get off me!" Charlie shoved Ewan off of him and he stumbled backwards. Turning back just in time, Charlie saw Claire's eyes widen and she started breathing again. "Claire," he said. "Claire are you alright?"

Standing up immediately, Desmond carried Claire off and started down the strip of beach. "It's okay, Charlie. I've got it. I'll just take her back to her tent."

The crowd watched as Desmond stomped off with his prize, leaving Charlie standing there alone. Ewan folded his arms and frowned. He wondered why Desmond made himself so isolated. Not only did he continuously push Ewan away, but now he was pushing Charlie away too. Ewan was relived it wasn't just him, but still he couldn't help wondering why Desmond would do that to himself.

He angrily headed back in the direction of their tent. He liked to call the tent that he and Desmond shared "our tent" but it never really seemed that way. Desmond was always more interested doing things on his own. He was rarely at the tent the same time Ewan was, except for at night. And when he was there, he never spoke.

Ewan sat down under the tent and shut his burning eyes. He relaxed, placing his head down in the sand and flopping his feet out. He listened to the sound of the waves, trying to think of a way to get that bastard to talk.

Everybody thinks I'm mad, Desmond thought to himself as he hurried down the streets of London. He had just made a big deal about having seen Charlie before in front of a whole crowd of people. I just can't help it. I'm not crazy, I know I'm not, he convinced himself.

"Hey. You," a boy of about eighteen tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Sorry?" Desmond turned round trying not to look like the crazed madman everyone thought he was. He was sure his hair was a mess, and his shirt was a little messy, but he hoped he didn't look too deranged.

The boy looked up at him with innocent, grey eyes. "Yeah, look," he said uncomfortably. "I'm uh… I'm lost. Maybe you could tell me where the school Guildhall is? It's an acting school, I…"

Desmond's eyebrows lowered cautiously. He inspected the kid closely before saying, "You're--I know you."

He watched as the boy's eyes lit up. "Really?" he asked.

Des wasn't sure why the kid was as excited as he was. The way Desmond had said it, the words came out a bit creepy. "Yeah…" Desmond slowed down trying to take this one word at a time. He couldn't help it. All these flashes of an island came to his mind. They all had a ginger haired man with grey eyes. He was smiling. He looked injured or dizzy or faint. His head was resting against a tree trunk. He said, "Yeah, my name's Ewan."

The boy continued to watch Des expectantly, "Did you see the show at--"

"Ewan," Desmond stared at the kid in disbelief. "Oh my God. You're Ewan."

Rocking back and forth on his feet the boy said proudly, "Yeah, that's me. I didn't know--"

"There was a hatch. And you and I, we pushed the button. The island. We were on an island. You followed me. You followed me everywhere--" he was repeating the same thing he said to Charlie earlier. He tried to stop himself. Oh, boy do I look crazy…

He squinted his eyes and the boy said, "I'm sorry. I don't… I don't know what you're talking about. I just needed directions." He began backing away when Desmond reached out. For some reason he felt really bad for the kid. He had probably just arrived in the city and Des had scared him to death.

Desmond grabbed his arm. "No, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just a wee bit… out of it…" Des stuttered. Ewan gave him a worried look and Desmond let go of him. "I'll show you where the school is, Ewan," he said.

"N-No thanks," Ewan was horrified. He hurriedly walked away, turning back to get just one last look at Desmond. Des tried to say something, but the boy just kept walking faster, pushing his way through the crowd of people. Desmond frowned at the pavement as it dawned on him that Ewan was going the wrong way.

"We need to get him back to his tent," Charlie lifted Desmond up and helped him over to the shelter made out of blue tarp. Hurley shot Ewan a look, but Ewan was too baffled to speak. Hurley sat up as he watched Ewan's expression go from shock to anger. "What's up with him, dude?" he asked.

Ewan stuttered for a while until he found the right words. He sat down in the sand in the spot where Desmond used to be lying down. He crossed his legs, pretzel style, and finally said, "I'm not sure."

Hurley asked, "Doesn't he like talk to you, man? I thought you two were like buddy-buddy or something."

Shooting him a glare, Ewan started playing with the sand. He bowed his head so that the trees cast a shadow over him and Hurley couldn't see his face anymore. Hurley took this time and began filling the silence, "I mean you know you're crazy when you laugh at a bottle of whiskey and that was before he was drunk." Realising that Ewan did not find this funny at all, Hurley said, "But I mean… he's alright, man. I guess."

Suddenly Ewan let out a soft sniffle. Hurley looked over and asked, "Hey, you alright?" He turned all his attention to Ewan and forgot about eavesdropping on the conversation a few feet away.

The actor barely looked up, but Hurley could still see that he had been crying. Hurley shifted uncomfortably, wondering what he should say next. Ewan said softly, "I can't believe this."

"What?" Hurley asked as he rested his elbow in the sand and his chin on his elbow.

Another sniffle came and then Ewan's voice became hoarse. "Do you hear him? He's just bloody sitting there, talking to Charlie. But look at him. He's actually… he's talking. He's actually telling Charlie what he wants to hear."

Hurley scratched his head, a little bit confused.

Realising that he was being over-dramatic, Ewan added, "He doesn't do that often."

As he sat up, Hurley wondered, "Well what do you want to hear from him?"

"Nothing," Ewan sighed as he looked over at their tent as if it were a ticking clock. "They should be done by now," he said after a bit.

Hurley made a face when Ewan began standing up. "Whoa, dude. They can be done whenever they want to be done. It looks like they're talking about something pretty important."

Impatiently, Ewan sat down. He wiped the tears from his eyes and took a deep breath before saying, "Hurley?" He sniffled and wiped his cheeks again, even though there were no new tears. "You won't tell him you saw me like this. Will you?"

"Nah," Hurley said with a smile. "Of course not."

Ewan added, "You… you won't tell anyone."

"Of course not," Hurley repeated.

"No," Ewan looked over at him as another tear raced down his pale skin. "You won't tell anyone. Ever. Remember that friend you told me about? The one you told me about when we first met?" Hurley nodded. "The one that loves Star Wars. Don't tell him."

Hurley gritted his teeth. "Well… what if he asks about you or something?"

"Tell him…" Ewan looked up at the sky as he thought. "Tell him I'm just like Obi-Wan."

He headed off on the direction of the jungle and Hurley was left with just the crackling fire. He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what had just happened. Ewan was a confusing character. Just a few minutes ago, he was half drunk, singing drinking songs and leaning lazily against his buddy, Des. Now he had just totally switched personalities, sobbing his little eyes out and making Hurley swear he wouldn't say anything. Hurley rubbed his head in confusion and looked over at the tent.

"Charlie?" Ewan asked. He stared down into the pool of water, waiting for the ripples to be still so he could see his complexion. The two Brits were awkwardly standing at the pond nearest their tent, washing up before falling asleep.

Normally they met here, but didn't say anything. Charlie simply returned to Claire and Ewan simply returned to Desmond. Now Charlie's eyes widened and he wasn't sure what to say. "Yeah?"

"What did he say to you?" Ewan asked as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Huh?"

"What did Desmond say?" Ewan pulled out the plastic toothbrush he had found days ago on the boat and attempted brushing his teeth with only water.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably. "Just nothing. He was sort of apologising, really."

"Mmmhmm," Ewan spat out the water and then looked up at Charlie. "C'mon tell me. Please."

He licked his lips in decision and then shook his head. "There's nothing to tell."

Ewan tilted his head in disbelief. "Charlie, what did he tell you?"

"Look we were never friends, mate. Don't try to pull 'the face' on me," Charlie was about ready to slap him.

"What about Claire?" Ewan asked. "Is she going to be alright?"

"Yeah, she's going to be just fine," he smiled. "That's good, I guess."

"Charlie, please?" Ewan begged. He had already packed his stuff, he was just standing there waiting for Charlie's reply. "Please just tell me what happened to him when the hatch imploded. I should have been there, I just--please."

A deep sigh escaped his lips as he finished washing his face. He turned to Ewan, ringing the wash cloth in his hands. "Alright," he practically rolled his eyes. "I'll tell you."

"Hey Desmond?" Ewan was snuggled against the man's chest. He looked up at Des, but could only catch a glimpse of the beard on his chin. Ewan was pretty sure the only reason Des allowed him to get this close to him was the whiskey. He could still smell it on the man's breath.

"What is it, Ewan?" Des wrapped his arm around the blonde's back and patted him gently. He exhaled loudly as if he had just gotten home from a long day at work.

"What happened to you when I was gone? How come you're acting so strange…"

Desmond gently rubbed his back, moving his hand in smooth circles. Ewan cuddled closer to him, pressing his face against Desmond's sandy, old, collared shirt. "It's nothing, Ewan. Nothing you need to worry about, brotha."

"Is it… do you see them too?" he looked up at Desmond and finally got a response.

"What?"

"Do you see those little… flashes. They're strange. They're quick. Just a snapshot of what's going to happen," Ewan shook his head and turned away, pushing his back against Desmond's body.

Des alertly looked up. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind," Ewan forced a frown.

"What are you on about?"

"Well…" Ewan bit his lip before turning back to Desmond. "I was just wondering. But if that's not what's happening then--"

"No, Ewan," Desmond's eyebrows lowered. "I know what you mean, brotha. I see them too."

Dun dun dun. Okay, so don't worry, there's not gonna be any slash. Desmond's just drunk and Ewan's just... well Ewan's just crazy. Haha. And guess what? There's songs now! At the beginning! Wooo! Okay, so for the next chapter I couldn't exactly find a song, but still. I hope you like this chapter and Desmond fans--the next Desmond-centric episode is 3x17. Yesss!

What did you think of eyepatch man? I quite fancy him... JK! JK!

-Got Scots?