AN- Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well. I am doing ok. Spent the day either asleep or snuggled up to my Love watching reruns or "the Fosters". Haven't been feeling to well. But I wanted to thank you all for the support and prayers. I'm surviving. That's all I can ask for at the moment.
When you are weak, I'll be strong.
Lena groaned when she heard her alarm going off. She felt like she had just gone back to sleep and she would give anything to stay here on top of Stef and sleep.
"You don't have to get up, Love. Mike is going to be here in 20 minutes and we can get the kids up," Stef said, reading Lena's mind as she reached over and turned off the alarm.
"No, I don't want to freak the kids out," Lena yawned as she pushed herself off of Stef and stretched "Plus, I'm fine. Just a little tired, which you probably are too." Lena said as she crawled out from between Stef's legs and held out her hand to help her up, sighing when Stef ignored it and pushed herself up "I'm not going to break, you know."
"After last night, Love, I just want to... make sure you're ok. You were in so much pain."
"Yeah, but you were there for me," Lena said as handed Stef her robe and moved into Stef's arms, wrapping her arms around Stef's waist and holding her tightly, trying to draw strength from her "I love you."
"I love you too, Baby," Stef whispered, kissing Lena's neck gently before letting her go.
Lena walked over to where Callie was laying on Lena's side of the bed, "Hey, Babe, it's time to get up," she said, shaking Callie's shoulder gently "Go hop in mine and Mom's shower, Me and mom don't have to get ready for an hour or so." She said as Callie rubbed her eyes tiredly looking up at Lena like she wanted to say or do something, as Callie started to sit up Lena sat down and held her arm out, staggering slightly when Callie dove into her arms, holding on tightly as Lena rocked them both slightly.
"I'm sorry about last night, I just, I thought, I wanted," Callie kept trying.
"This might surprise you, Callie Girl, but I like when one of my kids comes in every once in a while to sleep with me and Mom," Lena smiled, kissing her forhead "Now go hop in the shower before all the hot water is used." Callie held on to Lena one more second before going to her room to grab clothes and her towel. Lena stayed sitting "Ok, maybe the lack of sleep is getting to me a little," she admitted "Can you start breakfast? I'll be down in 10 minutes."
Stef smiled softly "Of course, Love. Come down when you're ready. I'm going to make sure the rest of the kids are up and alright." Lena promised herself she would lay down just a few minutes, but had fallen back asleep, waking up to Brandon walking in the room with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Here, Momma," Brandon said as he set down the cup down on her bedside table, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at her. Lena crossed her arms across her chest at the stare but stood up, holding out her arms, imediatly Brandon walked into them, pulling her into a hug. Lena closed her eyes and couldn't help but be brought back to when Stef was shot, seeing Brandon's face when he walked into the ER, "I love you, Momma," he said as squeezed for a moment.
"I love you too, B," Lena smiled "Everything's going to be alright," she said as she held his face, smiling softly.
"I know," Brandon said, lowering him eyes.
"Hey, you have been my bud since you were five years old. You trust me don't you?" She asked.
"I was... looking up breast cancer on the internet" Brandon trailed off "And, what they say, it's just, the statistics."
"Mean nothing until we know more," Lena said softly. Brandon just nodded. Lena grabbed her cup and smiled "Let's head down to breakfast," she said as she saw Callie stepping out of her bathroom dressed and her hair done.
Brandon and Callie followed close behind Lena who walked carefully down the stairs and into the kitchen where Stef was cooking eggs and Jude was making toast "Thanks for helping, Little Man," Lena said, kissing Jude's forhead as he buttered a peice.
"Your welcome, Mom," Jude said as he looked up for a second. Lena noticed something sticking out of his back pocket,
"What are these?" she asked as she pulled out the two photographs Stef had found him clutching the night before "You know, you have your Mother's hair, and her eyes," Lena said as she kissed his temple before moving the pictures to see the one of the two of them. Lena had her arms around Jude's shoulders from behind and was bent down smiling while looking at him as Jude smiled at the camera "It would probably be safer to scan these on the computer and make copies so you could carry the copies and these wouldn't get ruined."
"That's a good idea," Stef said looking over, "I'll do that for you, Bud," she said taking them "Breakfast is ready you guys!" she called up to the twins as everyone else sat down. Lena sat next to Jude and piled eggs on both of their plates and pouring them orange juice as Callie and Brandon got toast as the twins walked in. Marianna veered towards the empty seat beside Lena and sat down, when she didn't grab any food Lena piled eggs on her plate also.
Jesus took his pill and hovered over Lena "Jesus, Babe, sit down and eat, I'm not going to fly away," Lena said as she pointed to the empty seat across from her, sighing when no one spoke "Alright, either talk or I will start, and I promise if I have to start we are all going to talk about our feelings," Lena said to the silent group, smiling softly when Callie started to tease Jude, causing the table to erupt with playful laughter and jokes. Silently she ate a few bites of eggs as she watched her children. Callie and Jude seemed to still be aprehensive and she figured she would have to speak to them both on their own about their fears, along with her other children. "Are you hungry, Mike?" Lena asked, noticing him for the first time, sipping a cup of coffee and leaning against the sink in his uniform.
"No thanks, I never eat before noon. Do you need anything?" He asked.
"I'm fine," Lena said, looking down when Mike raised an eyebrow as if to say 'oh really'.
"Alright my babies!" Stef said as she walked in "everyone needs to grab backpacks, Jesus, Marianna, don't forgt your book reports. Callie you have therapy after school" She said, "Jude, Brandon will pick you up after your tutoring seson. I don't know if me and Momma will be home tonight, if not Mike will be here." There was a murmer of of oks as Stef walked over to Jude "Here you go, Buddy, I copied them, I even did it on photo paper" She smiled, handing him the two new photos.
"Thank you, Mom," Jude smiled, looking at them for a few moments before slipping them in his back pocket.
"You're welcome, Baby," Stef smiled, kissing his head "alright you guys, Jump in either the car Mike or Callie is driving, no being late." She said as the kids got ready to go. Marianna and Jude ddn't move "Come on babies," Stef smiled softly, "Give Momma a hug and get to school." THey both hugged Lena tightly before grabbing their backpacks.
By the time all the kids were out, they had all given Lena two or three hugs "alright, Love, you want to take a shower? We have about 2 hours until we need to get you checked in for testing," Stef said, kissing Lena's temple.
"What about a bath?" Lena murmered, pulling Stef to her and resting against her.
"A bath with company?" Stef asked as she hugged Lena, smiling when she nodded "I could arange that," she said softly, taking Lena's hand "Come on Love," she said as she led Lena up the stairs and sat on their bed before heading towards their bathroom and starting the bath, setting two towels and a cup beside it. In the bathroom she felt a bang at the exsausted look in Lena's eyes. The morning had worn her out emotionally with all the kids who needed her reassurance, something they needed from Lena, something Stef couldn't give them. Quickly she pulled off her clothes before walking to Lena, silently helping her out of her clothes.
In the bathroom Stef stepped into the bathtub before helping Lena in in front of her, pulling her so she was laying against Stef's chest "m, like this," Lena murmered, letting herself fully relax against Stef's smooth skin.
"Me too, Love, I like this too," Stef smiled as she picked up a washcloth and dunked it in the water, gently running it across Lena's mocha skin "are you in any pain?" she asked, noticing Lena's breast was still swollen, though it wasn't the same angry color.
"A little," Lena sighed, cringing when Stef past the washcloth down Lena's breast.
"I'm Sorry, did that hurt?" Stef asked.
"No, it's just-"
"I understand, Love," Stef whispered, kissing her temple "I'm sorry it's going to happen, but I will always love you." Lena nodded, trying not to show her tears. Stef gently washed Lena's body as well as she could while they were laying, humming softly before slowly washing Lena's hair, before helping her turn so they were laying chest to chest, Something that usually erotic, but at the moment just let them be close, Lena's face hidden in Stef's neck "Come on, Love, let's get you dressed," Stef whispered after a half hour in the tub, the water starting to become luke warm.
After they were out of the tub Stef helped Lena into a pair of loose yoga pants, an under shirt with a built in bra that would allow Lena some feeling of coverage without having to wear a bra, and one of Stef's t-shirts bfore pulling a pair of worn jeans, an tank top, and a sweater jacket. Stef brushed Lena's hair and put her hair product in Lena's hair before pulling it on top of her head, letting her lay down before grabbing a a bag and filling it with a couple books for Lena, a change of clothes, their laptop, and some paperwork.
"Alright, Love, We have to get going," Stef said softly, rubbing Lena's thigh. Lena stood up and followed her silently, stopping at the front door she looked around "You ok, Love?" Stef asked when Lena stood firm in her spot.
"What if I never come back?: Lena whispered after a moment.
"Baby, you can't think like that, you'll be coming through this door for the next 40 years," Stef said as she wrapped her arm around Lena's back and led her out the door.
The car ride was silent as Stef drove while holding onto Lena's tremling hand. Once they parked Lena started at the hospital "ready, Love?" Stef asked softly as she went to open her door.
"No," Lena whispered softly as tears filled her eyes "Can't we just go home?"
"Baby," Stef murmered as she pulled Lena over the center concel and onto her lap, which took a little fumbling, "I know you're scared, but if you don't go n you will die. They're going to help you get better."
"I know," Lena whispered, holding onto Stef "I love you."
"I love you, too, Baby," Stef said softly as she opened her car door and got them both out.