Decisions and Feelings

Chapter 4

Lee and Amanda were having a nice lunch until Amanda had accidentally stumbled upon a torn sheet of paper with a series of numbers listed on it. Although Lee and the Agency people had not been able to break the code, Amanda knew exactly what the numbers meant by merely glancing at them.

And she wouldn't tell him how she did it.

Lee didn't understand why. It's not as if she would benefit by keeping it to herself. He knew their lunch was already ruined because of his shortness with her, but he felt he had that right since he was feeling so frustrated.

"Amanda, you need to tell me how you knew what those numbers represented and you need to tell me NOW!"

Amanda couldn't believe this was the same guy who had previously made her heart flutter! Dean was starting to look like an excellent choice after all. At least Dean rarely told her what to do!

"I NEED to tell you?" she repeated, "That's awfully bossy!"

Grrrrr! Lee grunted, Why is she like this!?

Lee could appreciate that Amanda had opinions and stood her ground.

He just wished she wouldn't do now.

Lee was smart enough to realize that if he wanted to get answers from her, he needed to be nicer. And being a top notched spy who interrogated traitors and informants alike, he also knew that the first thing he needed to find out was what got her so upset in the first place.

"Okay, alright..." he diplomatically began, "... so instead of me trying to GUESS why you're upset and getting it wrong," he stated through clenched teeth, "why don't YOU just tell me why you're upset and then BOTH of us will know!"

"Are you calm enough to listen?" she wanted to know.

He took a very deep breath and then announced, "Yes."

She peered at him, "You don't look calm."

Of all the...

"A-man-da..." He pronounced her name with pure frustration. Then he face-palmed, rubbing his face roughly with his hand, and when he looked at her again, a peaceful expression was plastered on his face.

"Okay. I'm calm...mostly."

Amanda watched his face, "Alright, I'll tell you why I'm upset. It's because you lied to me, Lee."

That was the last thing he expected her to say.

"Lied to you?" He looked puzzled, " Is this about me being an astronaut again?"

She rolled her eyes, "No! Nothing so trivial!"

"Then what did I lie about?" Lee wanted to know.

"It's just that...you seem to know things that you shouldn't!" she accused him.

"What?" Lee's forehead furrowed in confusion, "Amanda, that's not called lying, that's called being clairvoyant!"

"No, I didn't mean it like that!" Amanda corrected him, "what I meant was that you know things about me that I never told you! For instance, you knew my last name, and then you knew my address, and, finally, you knew my mother's name and I never told you any of them! How is that possible?"

Oops.

Lee had slipped up big time and several times.

But spies know that the best defense is a good offense.

"Oh yeah? Welllll, what about YOU?" he complained.

"Me?" She looked surprised, "What about me? I never lied to you!"

"No, but you always want to know about things that don't concern you in the least!"

"So you're saying I'm overly-nosy?" her voice went an octave higher, "I resent that!"

"You may resent that but it's true, and here are MY examples..." he began to list, "...when I initially asked you to help me do some research, you needed to ask a hundred questions before we even got started, and then when I accidentally dropped that torn sheet with the numbers, you just HAD to read the sheet completely from top to bottom, despite it belonging to me!"

Amanda shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "That's not as bad as being a liar! At least my pants weren't on fire!"

"No, but your ears and eyes were!"

Their disagreement was interrupted by the appearance of Brenda the waitress.

Oh God, groaned Lee.

"Need anything else?" Brenda curtly asked, and then turned towards Lee, "...some TANG perhaps?"

Lee scowled back at her.

Amanda sarcastically asked, "Any chance you could bring me a new lunch partner?"

"You, too?" the waitress then glared at Lee, "Another one bites the dust, eh? Mr. Hot Shot Astronaut! Maybe one day when you're up there in all that darkness, you can untether yourself from your rocket and permanently drift away into space!"

Lee sourly responded, "Unlikely that will ever happen being that, for the HUNDREDTH time, I was never an astronaut!"

"Whatever!" Brenda heatedly responded back, as she slammed the check on the table, "And be sure to leave a BIG tip!" she demanded, before stomping away.

"Hmmph!" Lee grumbled, more to himself, "Lady, I'll give her a big tip, alright! Stop having the personality of a demented, damp rag!"

Amanda snickered, which made Lee grin and he seemed himself again.

"Let's get out of here, Amanda, before the chef slaps me with a spatula and the bus boy chases me around the restaurant with a mop!"

"I'm ready!" she concurred.

They got up and left.

Outside, it was a beautiful springtime day. They talked about small matters as they crossed the street. Their steps were slow and methodical, as if they didn't want their time together to end. They had almost reached the front of the library.

"Before I go back to work, can we sit awhile?" she asked, gesturing at the outside concrete bench, "I feel as if we didn't say everything that needed to be said."

"Sure, but I actually think we've said too much!" Lee remarked.

They both sat.

And suddenly they had nothing else to say as they purposely stared straight ahead.

When at last Lee ventured a glance over at Amanda, he had a view of her profile. It was feminine yet strong, like the rest of her.

WHY DOES SHE GET UNDER MY SKIN LIKE SHE DOES? he wondered, One second they're having a great time and then in two seconds flat they're disagreeing and then the cycle repeats. But, whether they're laughing or arguing, he STILL enjoyed her presence. Even now, he was enjoying just sitting here in perfect silence with her, sharing the air that she breathed.

Amanda was aware of how Lee's nearness always made her heart beat a little faster.

He was a man of few words-except when he was arguing. But he was also funny, smart, mysterious...and most importantly, seemed to have a good heart.

Yet, who was he, really?

"I don't think you're an insurance agent," Amanda suddenly declared, out of the blue.

Lee's mind froze.

He slowly turned his head.

As a spy, Lee knew to stay noncommittal when being interrogated.

"Really now?" Lee asked, in a very unbelieving tone. Then he pointedly asked her, "So Amanda, if I'm not an insurance agent, who do you think I am?"

"I have a hunch," she claimed.

He could play the game, too!

"Suuuure you do," Lee stated in that sarcastic, unbelieving tone.

"Lee!" Amanda's tone was insistent, "I really do have a hunch about who you are!"

He prepared himself, "Go ahead. I'm listening."

When Amanda leaned in, Lee was sure she would identify him as a government agent.

"Now, this is just conjecture, " she stated, holding up her index finger to make her point, "but... I'm thinking that... you must be a high-end antiques thief!"

He almost choked at the absurdity of the idea., "Really now? Care to explain?"

Uh-oh, Amanda thought, His reaction showed that he was either NOT a thief or he was a very good actor.

But she soldiered on.

"Let me first explain how I got this idea. You see, Lee, I'm a very logical thinker and-"

Oh no. He didn't know much about her, but he knew enough to know that he didn't want to hear a long explanation from her.

"- Amanda, could I have the Readers' Digest condensed version, please?"

She pouted at his insinuation, "Do you want to hear it or not?"

He looked amused, "I do, but evening will come soon enough!"

She shot him a look, but cooperated, "It's just...things just didn't add up with you being an insurance agent. First, you don't dress like one."

"I didn't realize insurance agent had a dress code."

"Not like that, but you know, they usually wear cheaper suits that wrinkle easily," she knew that sounded rather weak, "and...um, another reason is that insurance agents aren't usually as...smooth as you."

His eyes gleamed, "You think I'm smooth?"

"Like cream cheese on a bagel," Amanda answered, slightly frustrated that he considered being 'smooth' a good quality, "May I continue on without interruptions, please?"

His eyes now lit with amusement, "By all means, Amanda. Go ahead and do some more spreading, please."

She ignored his jesting, "Not only do you not have appearance of an insurance agent, Lee," she continued, "but I also think a real insurance agent wouldn't need to do so much research in order to evaluate each piece of jewelry. And it's all from one estate? Unless it's the Royal Family, I don't believe it. Therefore, all the items we did extensive research on was done because..." she finished her reasoning with a flourish, "you plan to steal those very items somewhere in the near future! That, and you're so guarded all the time. So unlike an insurance agent!"

Lee's face purposely remained impassive. A spy never lets his adversary see what he's really thinking; especially when the adversary begins to unravel some of the truth.

"I see," Lee calmly reacted and then asked, "You always do that, Amanda?"

"Do what?"

"Confront a thief head-on about his plans," he logically responded, "because, in my opinion, that could turn out quite dangerous for you."

He had a point, Amanda reasoned, And normally she wouldn't confront a bad person, but Lee was different. There was something about him that made her not fearful of him; and it wasn't due to his good looks. She just felt...a goodness about him. Buried very deep, but it was there. The only problem was, she never heard of a good-hearted art thief.

Maybe she DID get it wrong.

Amanda fumbled, "So, even though you COULD be an art thief...I figured I might be able to convince you NOT to steal anymore."

"Hmmm..." Lee seemed to be considering the idea, "And were you successful? Were you able to convince me to do the right thing and therefore, turn my life completely around?"

"You were eating lunch at a coffee shop and yet at the end of the meal, you didn't steal any of the plates," she pointed out, "that's a start."

He chuckled, "Anything else?"

She looked confused, "What do you mean?"

"Are we done with the theories? First I'm a big liar and then I'm a jewelry thief? Any other negative descriptions you want to use to bring me down a notch?"

"That wasn't my intent! I just find it interesting that you never denied either one of my accusations!"

"Okay, I will then," he told her as she looked surprised.

She gulped, "You will? Which one?"

"Both. I'm neither a liar on the things you accused me of, nor am I a jewelry thief."

She looked wide-eyed, "You need to do some explaining then."

"I don't know if anyone ever told you this, Amanda," Lee began, "but you tend to be ...how can I say it in a nice way? rather, long-winded at times. You ramble when you talk."

"I may have been told that a time... or ten," Amanda meekly admitted.

He smiled, "People who over-talk tend to want to get out as much information as they can in the shortest amount of time. Isn't it possible that when you were trying to blurt out everything at once, you could have let slip other information that you didn't remember saying, but you did?"

He said it with utmost certainty.

Amanda was getting confused.

"Um...perhaps..."

"So you could have been chatting away, never realizing that you had mentioned in haste your full name or your mother's first name or even where you lived, right?" he questioned.

It made sense, darn it!

"Okay, maybe...we'll let that one go..."she decided, "But...what about you possibly NOT being an insurance agent? How will you explain THAT away?"

That was a bit harder.

"Amanda, I know we've known each other for only two Wednesdays, but you seem very good at sizing up people...so tell me the truth...do I really come off to you as an scheming art thief?"

His voice oozed with sincerity and honesty.

And when she met his gaze, she was held a prisoner by his smoldering green eyes. And his sensual lips. They were tantalizing whenever he smiled. Her pulse began racing.

And her cheeks flushed with embarrassment when she caught a hot flicker in his eyes that mirrored her own.

Meanwhile, Lee's palpable reaction to her forced him to remind himself that Amanda was a housewife with a boyfriend. Not his type in the least.

She had forced herself to look away again in order to answer him,"Okay, Lee, so maybe, just maybe you're not a thief, but something strange is going on here!"

Lee masked his thoughts and nonchalantly stated, "Nothing strange is going on here, Amanda. I just need you for my research, okay?"

Her pulse began racing again when he mentioned he needed her.

This was all too much.

Amanda bit her lower lip. What is happening to her? She felt something for a man she didn't know. The way her thoughts and body had reacted to him convinced her of that fact. But she was with Dean. Dean!

Dean was good for her.

Lee would only hurt her.

She knew she'd never have a chance with a smooth-talking, woman-loving man like Lee. And the longer she'd worked with him, the more difficult it would be when he moved on.

Her voice had a sad quality to it when she announced, "Lee, let's just stop this."

Alarms went off in Lee's head; he had a feeling he knew what direction this conversation was going.

"What do you mean?" he innocently asked, yet dread filled his mind.

"I...I don't think this is working out between us...wellll, not between us like that..." Amanda corrected herself, " I mean, between us as in working together. I guess what I'm trying to say is...we need to stop with the research stuff."

She felt miserable after saying that.

"Oh." Lee felt disappointment. It was like being socked in the gut, "You sure?"

She silently nodded.

Then she grabbed her purse and stood.

Lee stood, too, not sure what to do.

He sure made a mess of things.

Plus he never did find out how she knew about those coded numbers.

But that seemed so trite now.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and in a pleading voice, stated, "Amanda-"

Her eyes looked hopeful, "Yes?"

Lee had planned to give all the reasons why they should continue with the research, but from his experience he knew she had made the right decision. He had dealt with enough women to know the kind of cad he could be. It was time to let her go. She deserved better.

And The Agency will just have to figure out a different way to decode those numbers, he decided.

This was just getting too complicated.

So he acquiesced to her wish, "I supposed you're right."

The light disappeared in her eyes and there was a tinge of sadness in her voice as she forced a smile, "Good-bye, then, Lee. It was nice meeting you."

Lee straightened, "Amanda... take care."

With a final nod she turned to go into the library, without looking back.

Then as Lee regretfully watched Amanda's departing backside, he was thinking how their time together had been so brief, yet it was long enough for him to feel as though...

...he was on the edge, waiting for something to happen.

But, now, he guessed it never would.

.

.

(A/N: for you young folks, 'Tang' was a powdered orange drink heavily associated with manned space flights. Tang's slogan was 'Tang-Breakfast for Astronauts!')

And yes, the coded numbers will be explained soon!

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