This was my most favourite chapter to write! Once again, I don't own the copyrights to AatC or Rain Man. ;)

Chapter 4: Losing My Mind

If Alvin had to make a list of all his bad days, then today would have to be the worst. And with Brittany gone, along with their relationship, it was only the beginning of his troubles.

The brothers were seated at a diner that morning, waiting for their breakfast to arrive. As the waitress came over to pour the coffee, Simon took one look at her nametag and started reciting over and over, as though he was memorising something.

"Sally Dibbs. Dibbs, Sally. 461-0912."

The waitress looked up in surprise. "How did you know my phone number?"

Alvin remembered the phone book Simon had read the night before. "Uh, my brother remembers things. Little things, you know. He's got a photographic memory."

Sally Dibbs gave them both a warm smile. "I'll be back with your pancakes shortly."

Once the waitress was out of earshot, Alvin looked at Simon, whose eye contact was now all over the place, possibly studying every minute detail. "How did you do that?"

"Of course I read the telephone book. Sally Dibbs. 461-0912."

"Did you memorise the entire book? How far did you go?"

"Up to G. A-B-C-D-E-F-G. Gottsaken, William Marshall. 458-7391."

For the first time since he met his brother, Alvin was genuinely impressed by Simon's capabilities.

"Uh oh, no toothpicks. I definitely got to have my toothpicks," said Simon randomly.

"You don't need toothpicks. We can use toothpicks at the hotel like yesterday, but here, we eat our pancakes with a fork. It's so much easier to eat with a fork." Dealing with Simon was just as difficult as one would with a hyperactive two year old, although Alvin felt like he'd rather face the latter.

"There's got to be maple syrup. I definitely eat my pancakes with maple syrup. It'll be too late once the pancakes arrive because there's no maple syrup on the table."

"Simon, the maple syrup comes with the pancakes. When we order the pancakes, the waitress is gonna bring us the maple syrup."

"Uh oh, but that'll be too late."

"How's that too late? Pancakes come with maple syrup! Honestly Si, you've got to stop this!"

"Uh oh, no toothpicks and no maple syrup. I definitely can't have my pancakes without – OW!" Alvin had grabbed Simon in a head lock and pushed him down onto the table.

"Stop making a scene! I don't know why you have to keep acting like a fruitcake!" hissed Alvin. He let go of his brother and pretended that nothing had happened. While waiting for their pancakes, Simon took out a small exercise book and scribbled furiously in it with a pen.

"What are you writing, Si?"

Alvin leaned over to see what Simon was writing, but he turned his back and continued scribbling. The red clad chipmunk got impatient and snatched the book away. There were plenty of notes, all written in red ink with Simon's loopy cursive writing.

Serious Injury List: Alvin Seville. Number 18, 2010. Squeezed and pulled and hurt my neck in 2010. Threatened to cut off my blood circulation.

"Serious Injury List? You've got to be kidding me!" He thumped Simon's head with the book, not caring if it was Number 19 going into the Serious Injury List. If he keeps this act up, I'm gonna make sure that he'll have to get a new book!

Alvin had lost his appetite. He asked the waitress to keep an eye out for Simon while he went over to the phone booth and dialled the first number he could think of.

"Dr. Theo, it's Alvin Seville speaking."

His first reply came out sharp. "Alvin, where are you?"

"That's not important. What matters is who's with me, Doctor."

For a professional doctor, Theo sounded like he was close to tears. "You have to bring Simon back, Mr. Seville. Please!"

"Ok, that'll be 1.5 million dollars then. Look, I'm not being greedy. I just want my half of the money! What do you mean, I can't do this? Simon is my brother, and I have every right as a family member to escort him out of Wallbrook!"

"Your brother has been a voluntary patient, Mr. Seville, but this is where he'll get the best care and treatment. We're talking about his well being here."

Alvin couldn't believe it. Everybody was driving him insane! First it was Brittany, then Simon, and now Dr. Theo. He practically spat into the phone's receiver.

"I'm going to skip this bullshit and get straight to the point! I am entitled to my father's estate. If you can't do that, then I'll fly him to LA, put him in another institution, and then we can have a custody battle over him! Do you really want that to happen? Well I suggest you think it over, and do it fast!"

He slammed down the phone and went back to Simon, who had just received a box of toothpicks from the waitress. Simon's fingers were trembling so much that he dropped the box and the toothpicks scattered like fallen dominoes. He bent over to pick them up but Alvin restrained him.

"Simon, you don't want to pick those up, they're dirty. I'm really sorry about the toothpicks, miss."

"82, 82, 82, definitely more than 82 toothpicks."

"What are you talking about, Simon?"

Simon's face broke into a grin. "246 toothpicks on the floor. Yeah, 246 total."

Alvin looked at the toothpicks to the waitress. "How many toothpicks are in there, miss?"

"Each box has 250."

"Well, that was pretty close, Simon. Come on, let's go."

The waitress took a quick glance into the empty box. "He's right! There's only 4 left in the box."

The chipmunk could only stare in disbelief.

Simon found himself fiddling about with the car's radio until he found a favourite station.

"You're listening to 97X! The future of rock and roll!"

"97X! Bam! The future of rock and roll! 97X! Bam! The future of rock and roll! 97X! Bam! The future of rock and roll!"

"Simon, will you please cut that out! It's not funny!" groaned Alvin.

"97X! Bam! The future of rock and roll! 97X! Bam! The future of rock and roll!"

Once the chipmunks had arrived at the airport, Alvin's annoyance turned into momentary relief once he'd received a phone call from his partner Lenny. But things weren't exactly on the bright side after Lenny delivered his message from the far end of the line.

"Lenny, shut up for a moment! I'm in deep shit right now – I can't get to the cars, and I don't have the money to pay up for our debts! Plus, my loan is overdue. So I'm going back to LA to contact my loan officer. Call your men to come right here and pick up the Buick, okay? I'll see you in a few hours."

Alvin hung up and went to get Simon's attention, who was staring mindlessly at a nearby TV. "Come on, Si, let's go! What were you watching?"

"I don't know."

The loud sounds of the airplane's engines caused Simon to look out the window. His calm demeanour went into pieces once more as he saw what lay out there.

"Uh oh, there's an airplane out there!"

"That's right, Simon. It's the fastest way to LA."

"Airplane travel's very dangerous. Definitely not safe."

"Don't be silly. This is the most safest and fastest travel in the world. Trust me, you'll love it."

Simon hesitated. His pupils were now fixed onto the colossal vehicle.

"Simon, we're in an airport! People fly out of airports! What else do you think we're doing here?" said Alvin, doing his best to keep his voice even.

"Flying's very dangerous.

"I don't have time for this crap, Si. I've got to get to LA in three hours, and we're going!"

"American flight 625, crashed April 27, 1976."

"You don't want to take an American flight, is that it? Ok, uh, we can take, how about Continental?"

"Of course, Continental crashed November 15, 1987. Flight 1713. 28 casualties."

"What about Delta, huh? Delta leaves at midnight. You like midnight travel?" asked Alvin.

"Midnight travel's very dangerous. 80% increase of accidents and casualties."

"All airlines have crashed before, Simon! But that doesn't mean that they're not safe, ok?"

"Quantas never crashed."

Alvin looked as though he was going to flip out, which he certainly did. "Quantas? Quantas! That's bloody wonderful, Simon! You see, Quantas doesn't fly to LA! It takes you to Melbourne! As in MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA!"

"Australia; Canberra's the capital. Population of over 345,000."

"That's enough of this, Simon! You and I are getting on this plane, and we're leaving right now!"

As Alvin dragged his brother towards the departures gate, Simon did something completely unexpected. He screamed at the top of his lungs and starting hitting himself in the head repeatedly. People turned to stare at him while Alvin grabbed a hold of his flailing arms and tried to calm him down.

"Okay, okay, Si! We're not gonna take the plane, okay?" He turned to reassure the startled witnesses. "It's okay. He just got a little upset. It's all good now!

"Relax, Simon, we're not flying, okay? No planes. Just driving to LA."

"Yeah."

While Alvin was boiling mad, he decided not to show it for fear of a possible loss of reputation. "You're starting to tire me, Simon. You're really bugging me out."

"No flying."

"I'm supposed to be in LA in three hours, and now this will take me three days!"

"Of course I'm supposed to watch Jeopardy. Jeopardy's definitely at five o' clock."

"Don't get started on that!"

Alvin had calmed down a little as they got back on the road. "I must say, I do miss driving the old Buick. It's beautiful." He looked at Simon who appeared to be spaced out in the passenger's seat. "Simon, didn't you say you can drive?"

"Of course I'm an excellent driver."

"When did you drive?"

"I drove the Buick on the highway when Dave came to Wallbrook."

"Dave let you drive the Buick?"

"Yeah. Slow on the driveway."

Alvin seemed thoughtful for a while. "Wow. Maybe I'll let you drive some other time."

As if in reply, Simon grabbed hold of the steering wheel and veered dangerously to the left, almost getting hit by an ongoing car. Alvin nudged his brother out of the way and steered back to the proper lane just in time.

"Simon, you never, NEVER TOUCH THE WHEEL WHEN I'M DRIVING! You hear me?"

"Yeah. Of course I'm not wearing my underwear."

"What?"

"I'm definitely not wearing my underwear."

"What are you talking about? I gave you a fresh pair of mine at the hotel this morning."

"That's not my underwear. That's too tight. I wear boxer shorts."

"Well, my underwear is your underwear too. I told you to go into the bathroom and put it on. So where is it?"

"Of course it's in my pocket." Simon delved into his trousers and fished out a pair of bright red underwear with the letter A on it. "Of course it's too tight. Mine are boxer shorts."

"What's the difference? Underwear is underwear," said Alvin.

"Of course, I always get my boxer shorts from K-Mart. They're blue with my name 'Simon' on it."

"We don't have to go back to Cincinnati to buy underwear. Tell you what, I'll stop by the nearest store and I'll pick you up a new pair of boxer shorts, ok?"

"These are too tight-"

"Si, did you hear what I just said? SHUT UP!" Alvin felt his temper beginning to possess him again.

For once, Simon didn't respond, and then he started talking again on his own accord.

"Cincinnati's a long way. We're definitely getting further. I buy my boxers from K-Mart."

"Simon, we are not going back to Cincinnati, and that's final! Do you even hear me?"

"Of course, I get my boxer shorts from K-Mart."

The boiling point of Alvin's temper had finally reached its peak as he put a halt to the car and pulled it over. He stormed out, walked a few steps on the now empty road and threw a fit.

"Damn! Damn! I'M GOING OUT OF MY MIND!" The chipmunk rounded on Simon, his face now as red as his shirt.

"What difference does it make, huh? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE! UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU BUY YOUR UNDERWEAR, IN CINCINNATI OR WHERE EVER!"

"K-Mart."

"You know what I think, Simon?" Alvin pointed a finger at his brother. "I think this autism of yours is a BUNCH OF SHIT! You can't tell me that you're not in there somewhere, hiding from me!" He took a deep breath, pulled himself together and then got back behind the wheel.

"Ok, you and I are going to make a little stop. I'm gonna have to find you a shrink, Si. Because you are driving me crazy!"

"Oak and Burnett, Cincinnati. We have to buy boxer shorts at K-Mart."

As they drove off, Alvin snatched his underwear from Simon and let it sail out into the open air.

"Uh oh, you left your underwear on the highway."

To Be Continued...

Will Alvin get to LA in time? What's to become of Simon's fate, and the money? Find out soon! ;)