A/N: I'd like to thank everyone, who take their time to let me know what they think about this story. I truly appreciate it. Also, big thank you to Byrhthelm for correcting my mistakes. My computer broke down, though, I use my parents' computers whenever I can get onto them (what isn't often) and don't know when I will have mine back, so it might be a longer while before a possible update. But the truth is, I am not sure if I shouldn't leave this story here despite still having some plot for it in mind, and would appreciate some information whether you want me to continue or not.
CHAPTER 4
She had never really been one of those people, who waited impatiently for a day off, so they could have some fun outside of the mountain. Quite the contrary, she would usually spend them in her lab, working on an alien device, which had been brought to Earth to be examined or, if she was ordered to leave the base for more than a night, she would bring some work home with her. The truth was, she didn't really have much of a social life outside of SGC and knowing that one way or another, she would end up spending the time on her own, she figured that for all it was worth, she night as well do some work. It was much more productive than the only alternative – sitting on the couch and reading a book or watching a movie, and she really hated sitting around and being lazy.
Even though she had lived in Colorado Springs for over three years now, she didn't really have many friends outside of the base; friends with whom she could spend her days off, anyway. The truth was, that pretty much everyone she knew in this place were people, who were in one way or another connected to the program. Her work schedule, as well as the fact that what she was doing was highly classified, definitely didn't give much opportunity to socialise. Even if the nature of what she was doing didn't exactly make it easy to make friends – considering that when it came to the topic of what she was doing, she had to either lie or say that it was classified, she often had a feeling that people were finding her suspicious rather than trustworthy, and she couldn't blame them. She wasn't really able to do anything to prove them otherwise.
This time, however, it was different. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun and she definitely wasn't going to regret her decision to change her habits. For the first time in years, she could forget about all her worries for at least a moment, and simply enjoy herself. She could feel completely carefree and take pleasure in spending time with the man she loved, without the need to hide her feelings for him. It might have not been the wisest thing, considering that there was still a chance, even if it was a slim chance, that they could run into someone who really shouldn't see the two of them together acting in an unprofessional way, but they decided not to care.
It was Jack's idea, and even though initially she had some doubts if it was a good one, it didn't take him long to persuade her.
"We're going to have to do enough hiding when we return to the base. Let's be ourselves, just for today – we'll be careful. We have no idea when will be the next time we get to enjoy your company for a whole day, without the fate of the galaxy resting on our shoulders. Let's use this opportunity not to have to pretend that there is nothing between us, when we had agreed that it's not exactly true…" he spoke, standing in the living room of her house, while she was walking around and collecting everything that she was going to need. She eventually stopped in front of him, ready to go and he sighed heavily. From the way she was looking at him, he could easily guess that she wasn't sure. "Come on, Carter! Let's enjoy it, while we can..!"
He was aware that there wasn't anything he could say to convince her, but at the same time, he could see the temptation in her eyes and he knew that there was a chance to make her succumb to it. With a hint of smile on his face, he reach out his hands and after tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, he placed them on each side of her face, caressing her soft skin with his thumbs. He met her gaze and he knew, that it wasn't like she didn't want to go along with his idea, but she was simply worried.
"Sam… I'm not going to insist but… I'm just happy about... this…" he gestured between the two of them, so that she would have no doubts that he was speaking about the change in their relationship."Tomorrow we're going back to SGC and you know as well as I do, that we can't give even a hint that something has changed, while all I want is to celebrate. Having a day off today is like the most perfect thing that could happen, because it gives me – or us, if you feel even a bit of the happiness that's filling me – a chance to simply enjoy ourselves and this."
She could feel her heartbeat quicken when she saw the emotions in his eyes. For a man, who had difficulties speaking about his emotions, she believed that he was doing a very good job, although it was his eyes that were truly speaking volumes. If he wanted to, Jack O'Neill could be very good at hiding or disguising his thoughts and feelings, but his eyes usually reflected what was truly inside his soul or, like in this case, emphasized those feelings. She smiled; the happiness, which was filling her entire being made her want to dance, sing, rejoice, and although for some reason she found it a little difficult to imagine, she was starting to understand that it was the same for him.
"So, whaddya think?" he spoke again, when she still didn't say anything. The big grin on her face was the answer in itself, but she still nodded her head with a quick 'okay' and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulled him closer for a kiss.
Despite her worries, she had a feeling that she wasn't going to regret it and she definitely didn't. She not only had a lot of fun, but also got the opportunity to see the side of Jack, which she has only caught glimpses of before. She dared to believe that she was one of the people in SGC, who knew him best, and it was in fact true, but on that day she realised that it was just a part of who he really was. Colonel O'Neill was the person, who she knew very well; Jack O'Neill, however, was an entirely different matter and he surprised her more than a couple of times during the whole day.
The hike in the park was great and she could only regret that she hadn't found time to go there before. Even though they were both fit, by the time they reached the peak they were both really tired and breathless. It was all because of the pace they established and also because they chose the most difficult trail, although the bet they agreed on – that the last one on top was paying for dinner, surely had some influence on it as well. She shook her head, looking at her companion, when she was standing at the end of the path, bent in half, with her hands supported on her knees, trying to steady her breathing. He was standing in a similar position, with a huge grin on his face and impish sparkles in his eyes; she could do nothing bur smile in her turn, while she thought how much during their little trip he had reminded her of a mischievous, excited little boy who had something playful constantly on his mind. She liked it, though; it seemed as if he was doing it all to cheer her up and it was working - she couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much.
"Next time we have some time off, we definitely have to do something like this again!" she said, smiling at him, when they were slowly making their way down another, this time easier trail.
Jack grinned with satisfaction. She had this expression on her face, which was always able to have his heart race wildly in his chest; she was smiling widely, her big, blue eyes shining with happiness and something more, something he couldn't exactly label, but that filled his heart with a warmth that he hadn't felt in a long time. He was glad to see her obviously enjoying herself – he knew Carter could be a real lab rat, and getting her away from her research and experiments had been on his mind for quite some time. It was the main reason why he invited her to his cabin, other than the fact that he would have loved her company of course, even though some would probably say it wasn't exactly appropriate. He was disappointed, when she turned down his invitation, although he had no doubts that she was tempted to accept it – whether she would eventually go with him or not, he was never going to know thanks to Thor, and he didn't really get any other opportunity to make sure she wasn't spending her free time working. Until now.
"Ya sure you betcha!" he stated, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer as they walked. She was slightly taken aback by his gesture, but definitely didn't mind it and it didn't take her long to wrap hers around his waist.
As much as he was much more open about his feelings for her, not hiding them as carefully as he was used to, he was also true to his word. The chance of running into someone they knew wasn't all that high, and it definitely felt good not to have to keep it all away, but they still needed to be careful – and so he was. Other than a few quick, gentle kisses, he didn't really allow himself to make his affections absolutely obvious. He had never really been one to express them publicly – well, maybe thirty years earlier, when he was a hormone-driven teenager he wasn't really bothered by it, but it wasn't really comparable to the mature feelings that he held for Sam. As much as he certainly didn't have anything against making out with Sam, he definitely wasn't going to do it there and then, simply because he felt like it – he was too old for that. It didn't mean, however, that he wasn't going to express them differently, and Sam definitely didn't miss it in his looks, smiles, even the possessiveness of his grip when he was holding her. In a discreet, yet a way very much Jack O'Neill sort of way, he made her feel loved and happier, than she ever thought she could be. She could only hope that she was able to do the same for him.
"Damn…" he muttered, when he found himself lying in her bed much later.
He really wished he didn't have to leave and while he knew it wasn't absolutely necessary, it would be better, safer and easier this way. The fact that neither of them wanted to part, for the day to end was what the main reason why he actually ended up there. He was simply supposed to drop her at her place and return to his own house, not accept her invitation for coffee. Still, they were doing everything they could to prolong the inevitable because they were both aware that next time they saw each other, Jack and Sam would have to go away for the time being and they would have to be back to the Colonel and the Major, what neither was looking forward to. And now, resting in the warmth of her bed, with his arm around her shoulders, holding her close while she slept snuggled up to him he felt incredibly cosy and all he could think about was how much he wanted to stop fighting the desire to just close his eyes and doze off as well.
It was a matter of leaving now or in the early morning though, and he knew that it would only be more difficult then. With a heavy sigh, he carefully untangled them and slipped out from under her, laying her on the pillows. A corner of his mouth twitched in a lop-sided smile when he saw her immediately snuggle up to the one on which his head had rested just seconds before. He stood up and got dressed, picking up her clothes as well and placing them on the chair, which was standing by the wall.
"Jack..?" he turned around, when he heard her sleepy voice followed by the sound of rustling sheets and winced, seeing her sit up.
"Sorry, didn't want to wake you…" he said softly, approaching her and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Go back to sleep."
She stared at him blankly for a moment, without understanding what was going on. It was only after a moment that she nodded her head and rested her head back on her pillows, allowing him to tuck her in. She was practically asleep, when she felt him brush her hair away from her face and place a gentle kiss on her temple, but she still smiled a little. Jack sighed again, looking at her; he really hated the thought of walking away, but he knew he had no choice. He stood up and as quietly as he could, he walked out of the house, collecting her spare key on his way and it was only when he stood by his truck that he allowed himself to turn around. The dull ache in his heart was back, although slightly different this time. He would see her in the morning, and even though it wasn't going to be the same, at least he had something to look forward to now.