Listening to Aha, by Imogen Heap writing this. It's totally worth listening to, and matched the beetlejuice theme music nicely.

Chapter 4

Red Wedding

"You know you're not suppose to reach into guys' pockets-Might find a snake." Nathan grinned. "What is your name anyways babes?" He gave her a toothy grin. Those lips parted begged to be kissed. God! What was his problem? They were in a cemetery for Christ sake. He had beetles in his pockets, which were crawling down his leg.

"Fuck!" Nathan shook his leg.

"Lydia…"

"What'cha say babes?" Nathan was occupied by the stray beetle trying to crawl into his pants.

"Lydia! Mr. Beetleman."

"The name's Nat- never mind. I need to get to the Deetz. Oh wait you're going there to! Need a ride babes, um Lyds?" Lydia giggled at the nickname. He guessed her to be 13 maybe 14. So young. He was 17 about to graduate high school in a year, and he was already King of the cougars. She hopped into the car. Doomy started up and automatically started scanning through all the stations. This was a new one.

"Deadly-voo!" His heart skipped a beat. God was she sweet. Why was he so worked up? He really needed to jerk off. It took only ten minutes to get to the Deetz. Although he was going slowly, this was rare for him. Maybe it was because he never really had company when he drove. He was a bit of a loner. Lydia was looking out the window, she smiled at him when he looked over at her.

"I think your Deadly-voo." Hold up!

"Excuse me babes?" He practically flew off the road. Doomster could use an alignment. "What does that even mean?"

"It means you're interesting you dingus." Did she just dis him? She was toying with him. He liked it. The windows rolled down.

"Excuse me, little Miss Deadly-voo, for not being fluent in your made up language." Lydia giggled.

"Does your car always do that?"

"The Doomster is a wild, mechanical, beast it does what it wants when it wants."

"Sure, bet the electrical's just junked up."

"That's not what I heard, "Nathan started down the road again. " See the previous owner committed suicide. She was an old hag named Juno."

"Well you all are looking so deadly-voo, tonight!" crowd roared

"See Juno was an unhappy old hag, had about 5 kids. "

"I sure hope this dress doesn't make my ass look big, what do you think?" crowd went wild. BJ squatted down on the stage. He hiked his dress up to show his red thong, and let a guy slap it.

"The kids all hated her, on the account of they felt she killed their father from second hand smoke. You see Juno was a notorious chain smoker."

Sequins and Glitter glinted on the stage as the Sandwich sisters came out. Heals stomping, chiffon flowing through the air.

The Goddesses stole the stage.

"In her old age Juno had a tube implanted in the base of her throat. Allowed her to breathe better on the account of she had throat cancer."

"Well you bitches are looking fabulous tonight." BJ gloated, winks were thrown, noses turned up at her as they began to twirl around the poles.

"Well Juno was miserable. Her children never saw her in the hospital. She recovered from her surgery and battled her cancer away. The post cards never came. Handouts were demanded never asked."

Anita, threw a kiss at her sister. Ivana bit it.

"She was alone"

BJ danced in attempt to outshine his dazzling sisters.

"Juno decided something must be done. She wrote a new will, leaving nothing but the car and her trachea tube. She grabbed the kitchen knife.

BJ Hiked up his dress and exposed his smooth fish-netted legs. A garter dripping blood red exposed itself. A prop knife was reveled from its ruffles.

"She left them the trachea tube"

BJ stormed over to Anita and slashed her chocker with the fake knife. Red sequins flew through the stage, spilling over the crowds as they cheered. The chocker tore into blood red strips, stained with shimmering glitter.

"They found her the next day, in thick puddles of drying blood. Her trachea tube in a neat little box stained in blood."

BJ cackled out as he approached Ivana. Dread painted her face as he pulled off her chocker. Red glitter spewed. Flooding over the stage and spilling over the roaring crowd. They were really in frenzy tonight.

"None of the children attended her funeral, but they all attended the reading of her will. They decided to throw away the trachea tube and share the car between the five children. Little did they know Juno had possessed the car in her afterlife? "

BJ chackled, "Let's make this a red wedding!" The lighting transformed the room red, except a silver disco ball. A wild cackle broke out over the crowd. A man in a striped suit popped out from the oversized disco ball above the stage. He climbed down the hanging ladder.

"One by one Juno killed her children through freaky car related accidents."

BJ took the Club owners arm and stepped down the runway in unison. He spun her around and dipped her.

"And that is how I bought the ol' Doomster at such a great price." Her eyes were disks.

BJ threw his head back and saw a young woman staring back at him. Her eyes were disks. The managers head popped off like rehearsed, but BJ froze. He was now on autopilot.