Chapter 3: Distance

Christine

That night, I couldn't sleep. I hadn't been able to focus on anatomy, but that wasn't what was laying so heavily on my mind. My lack of concentration had surprised and perhaps even worried Meg, as I was usually the studious one and she was more preoccupied with having fun. I just couldn't stop thinking about the so-called angel I had spoken to at the theater. These are the thoughts that consumed all of my hopes of slumber. Who was this mysterious teacher? Was he a friend or a foe? Why had he kept himself hidden from me? Why, out of all the extraordinary singers employed at the theater, was I graced with his favor - or more frightening - cursed with his disfavor? Above all else, most distressing was the question, "What does he want from me?"

Even after sleep finally came, I had troubled myself so much over this situation that sleep was hardly a relief for me. My dreams were of a dark, shapeless shadow covering me, and I was helpless to escape its utter blackness. I tossed and turned all throughout the night and woke more than once from the terror this dream provided. I would then find myself tangled in the covers and clutching my pillow to protect myself from the terrors that were in my mind.

I woke the following morning groaning. Suddenly, I threw the covers back and checked the clock as I sat up. 6:35 a.m.! I had slept through my alarm clock! I jumped out of bed and showered with lightening speed. Then, after I brushed my teeth, I threw on a pair of jeans, a green sweater, and my shoes. I grabbed my backpack (thank goodness I had finished my homework the night before!) and purse and then dashed down the stairs, nearly tripping over my feet in my haste. I checked my watch. The time read 6:47 a.m., which meant that I had about six minutes until Meg arrived to pick me up on her way to school. Although I had a driver's license, Mom had to drive the car to work every day, so Meg graciously transported me places without ever requiring me to return the favor.

About twenty seconds after I had finished applying makeup, I heard Meg's car horn from the driveway. I quickly grabbed a granola bar, a bottle of water, and an apple and ran out to the car. Contrary to my rushed preparation for school, Meg looked relaxed and very well put-together. She also, as I enviously noticed, looked very well-rested. She had obviously had a normal night and had dreamed lovely, happy dreams… the exact opposite of the night that I myself had just experienced. The thought somewhat irritated me.

As I slipped into the passenger seat and fastened my seat belt, Meg looked at me and said, "My gosh, Christine! You look like you didn't sleep at all last night!" She leaned closer in order to examine the dark circles under my eyes.

"Gee, thanks, Meg," I muttered sarcastically. I rarely used facetiousness, but I was rather annoyed at having a good night's sleep stolen from me by an unknown person that I had just become acquainted with the previous evening. Somehow, I found this rather unfair.

"Don't worry," she reassured me, although she was considerably taken aback by my use of sarcasm. "I'm probably the only one who will notice, anyway." She then turned from me and started the engine.

I know I should have apologized, but I simply turned away from her and pulled my wet, blond hair into a ponytail. I wish I had now, but I was upset that I couldn't tell her the reason for my tardiness. Meg and I never kept anything from each other. I was her confidante and she was mine. Yet, I couldn't tell anyone about this voice I had heard the night before. Not even Meg could know. I know I was crazy protecting someone I knew nothing about, but I still held my tongue.

The rest of the car ride passed in complete silence, as Meg sensed that I was in an unpleasant mood and I was too bewildered to even begin to explain my uncharacteristic behavior. If only this was the only situation of this kind to come across my pathway! Little did I know that my life would become more and more complicated, and that this distance between me and my best friend in the entire world, was only the beginning of my future isolation from the rest of the world.

o0o

The day steadily grew worse. Once, I fell asleep during algebra. I was saved only by Meg's quick jab to my ribs. Although I was left with a bruise, I was saved from humiliation. What if the teacher had called on me to answer a question? Now wouldn't that have been embarrassing? Meg was very generous to help me, considering the episode that had taken place earlier that morning.

I know I sound insane, but I was mesmerized by my new music teacher, even though I hadn't had a single lesson. I just wanted to sing. Ever since I was little, I had dreamed of one day becoming a famous singer.

While everyone else laughed at my ambitions, my father encouraged me. In fact, he used to be my music teacher. I can still remember the wonderful times we had sitting together on the piano bench while he taught me the tune and words of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Yet, when Father died, all of my dreams died with him, and I shied away from the world and developed stage fright as a consequence. I no longer wanted the world to hear me sing. The rest of the world could do whatever it wanted, as far as I was concerned.

I only wanted to sing for my father.

Still, perhaps this "Angel of Music" was somehow connected to my father. Once, when I was very little, Father told me that one day, I would sing so beautifully that people would believe that I had been taught by an angel. He knew that I wanted to sing. Maybe after he left me and went to heaven, he asked the Angel of Music to take me under his wing. That would be just like my father, doing whatever he could to protect me, even after he had left this world for the next.

Of course, I couldn't be certain that my new teacher was sent to me by my father. However, I did have one overwhelming thought:

I wanted to do what I know would have pleased my father. All I had ever really wanted was to please him. Now, I would honor his wishes.

I would learn how to sing.