A/N: Ok, I am really sorry to people that have been reading this! I kind of, forgot about it. Thank you to all my reviewers and favouriters and alerters, especially TheaterFreak123 for reminding me!

This chapter is much longer than my previous ones, and I believe the standard of my writing has improved since my last update, so do enjoy! Consider it a Christmas pressie!

McGee was glad of being given such an easy, familiar and solitary task. He really needed a moment to sort out his thoughts. He had no idea who the victim was, perhaps he knew them, a friend from school…did any of their friends become marines? Then, he hadn't seen Leigh since leaving Elementary school, in fact, he'd all but run from that part of his life as soon as he could…she'd probably made thousands of new friends, being the lovely lady she was. He probably didn't know the victim. At least, he hoped he didn't.

He watched as Ducky and Jimmy arrived on scene, parking somewhere down the road. They were involved in an animated argument, as per usual, but he felt compelled to stay out of their path. The last thing he wanted right then was a long winded story, or god forbid, a psychological analysis. In fact, he was repulsed by the idea of company at all. What worried him, was the fact that he didn't know why. Sure, he wasn't the most social of men, he often preferred to hang around nice, logical electronics than the confusing company of humans, which other people seemed to constantly crave. It wasn't that he didn't like people, no, he loved people, but sometimes it was good to be around technology. With technology, he always knew what was going on. It often wasn't so with people.

No, it wasn't that he just didn't want to be around people…

He didn't want people near him, he didn't want them to watch him repress and ignore the negative emotions that seeing his old schoolday friends that dragged up from the deep pit that existed purely for the disposal and containment of memories and emotions that he didn't care for. No, he didn't want anyone to see that…

Tracing the crimson stains on the concrete was easy, but he couldn't rid himself of the uneasy feeling that had settled in his stomach. Alejandro's violent expression had been expected, but Leigh, he'd thought their relationship had been positive enough for her to smile when he next saw her. Leigh always smiled, something drastic must have happened if she had lost her customary optimism.

The unease grew considerably…

Tim sighed, shaking his head to clear it, focussing on the blood trail, despite the fact that it required less concentration than breathing, refusing to let his mind worry over what was probably nothing.

That was how Tony found him as he ran up after him. "Probie!"

McGee gave an exasperated sigh, not turning from his work. "What do you want, Tony?"

Taken aback, Tony just gave a grin. "Ooh, tetchy, Probie. So, what do you think? Our vic. is a Lance Corporal, apparently an old friend of Leigh's, name's…Amber Crawley. She turned up early this morning, naked and bloody, saying she'd been raped."

"Tony!" Ziva's yell seemed to echo through McGee's head.

Tony spun and began to run off, but turned back to tap McGee on the shoulder. "Oh yeah, the Boss wants to see you, wanted to tell you something."

He turned and left.

Amber Crawley. Amber…The name bounced around the walls of McGee's head, bringing a new burst of pain with every jump. He could see Tony's lips moving, but the rush of blood and air in his ears too loud for him to hear what he was saying. He backed up, clutching at a tree trunk as his legs seemed to fail him. Amber Crawley…

As if on cue, an ambulance sped into sight, alarms blaring and sirens flashing. It parked just outside the cordoned off area and paramedics jumped out of the back. A second later, McGee's wide, white eyes watched as Alejandro walked out of the front door, supporting a bloodied blonde, wrapped in a blanket. One look at her blank, emerald eyes, and the weight of the situation suddenly hit him in full.

Tim's vision swam, filling with images. He was suddenly very glad to be away from the house. The house where his worst mistake was ready to confront him, where the unresolved arguments and depression of his teenaged years threatened to engulf him. That house was his worst nightmare. It was as if all of the bad things he'd done in his life, all of his most deserved enemies had convened on one point.

Finding it hard to stay upright, Tim slid down the trunk of the tree.

It made sense now. Leigh's torn eyes, her guilty and confused mind piled the guilt on and it hit him like a tonne of cement. Alejandro's hateful expression, visions of the man working to restrain himself, trying very hard not to throw McGee where he wouldn't be able to hurt his family anymore. Tim almost wished he would. It was all the worse for the fact that he'd endured it all before.

He felt physically sick, tears pricking at the back of his eyes, but he knew the worst was still to come.

Tim buried his head in his knees, wrapping his arms around it to clutch at the back of his skull, as the images of Amber pushed to the front of his mind, shoving away all thoughts of Leigh and Ale.

Amber, her face devoid of any emotion, a blank mask that didn't want to face the horrors she'd been through.

Not Amber…

Then her face transformed, and suddenly before him, was a sixteen year old Amber, her beautiful emerald eyes swimming in tears, the feather scars on her wrist that no-one ever thought he'd noticed. Her perfect face, frozen in an expression of shock and pain, pure pain, straight from the heart.

Faces of the others, all contorted with hate and anger bore down on him, hostile and accusatory…

This was his fault.

"McGee."

A hand on his shoulder alerted him to Gibbs' presence, crouched low beside him. His voice was soft, gentle even, by the ex-marine's usual standards, and that caused McGee to add embarrassment to the hurricane of emotions raging in his head. A blush crept up his neck, but he lifted his head out of his knees, proud of the fact that he'd not yet let tears wet his cheeks.

He still looked like crap and he knew it.

Gibbs' eyes were gentle, concerned, but they had the steely, determined look that meant he was going to get answers.

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Tony told you." Gibbs stated simply.

McGee nodded, not trusting himself to speak, but true to form, Gibbs just waited in silence.

Knowing he would never outlast Gibbs in a battle of wills, McGee sighed. "We went out, in primary school. And in elementary."

Gibbs' eyes pinned him down.

"I-We, a—I-I," McGee blubbered, feeling the tears finally leave his eyes. He gulped, gathering his dignity. He lifted his shining, green eyes to look at the Boss, ignoring the way his voice cracked, conveying the sincerity of his statement through his expression.

"I loved her, Gibbs."

The Gunny sat down properly, settling in for a good talk. "So why did you leave her?"

McGee let out a sob, and Gibbs' hand gently squeezed his shoulder. "Talk to me, Tim."

"I didn't think I was good enough for her. There was this day, she was getting bullied and I, I saw it, but I didn't do anything, I couldn't do anything to stop it. We were 17, and I couldn't help her. I knew that she'd be better off with anyone except me, someone who could protect her. So I broke up with her."

Sighing, Gibbs looked McGee in the eye. He'd always known he was insecure, but he now knew where it came from.

"That's why I started doing this type of stuff. I just needed to protect someone, cause I couldn't help her."

Gibbs remained silent, letting him spill it all out. He was kicking himself for never having found any of this out. How had he never known this about his youngest field agent?

McGee was staring up at Gibbs, hope and desperation filling his eyes. "I left her to protect her, Boss, you have to believe me!"

Sensing that McGee was becoming hysterical, Gibbs declared his speaking time up and gripped his shoulder more firmly. "I do believe you Tim, I believe you. You did a very selfless, and a very stupid thing."

McGee's hurt eyes shot to the floor.

"You were more than good enough for anyone, Tim, and I never want to hear you say anything like that again." He waited for McGee to nod before continuing. "You're going to sort this out, Tim. And first things first, you're going to talk to Leigh."

Looking back up at Gibbs, McGee's brow creased with worry. "But, Boss-"

It took only a look from Gibbs, and McGee was on his feet.

"I expect a full report when you get back." Gibbs called after him.

McGee cast back a reluctant nod. "Yes, Boss."