A/N: I still don't know where it's going, but thanks for coming with me.

December 31st, 2017 - Continued

"Mama?"

Both adults turn to find a two-foot-tall, brown eyed interruption.

"Look who's up from their nap," Olivia says, stepping around Elliot to pick up her son. "You ready to go chipmunk?"

Noah laughs as she tickles him and he giggles immediately. Elliot smiles watching their interaction.

"I'll get your coat," he says.

"I'll get it," she tells him. "Why don't you take Noah to get his things on."

"You sure?"

"I think you can handle it," Olivia says, grinning.

"How 'bout it buddy?" Elliot asks, turning to Noah. "Can I help?"

"Okay," Noah agrees.

She puts him down and he reaches for Elliot's hand and Olivia watches as the two walk towards one of the spare bedrooms. He's an amicable little guy but he doesn't usually take to people so easily. Olivia has noticed how intuitive he is where her feelings and moods are concerned.

Perhaps he senses the same things in her former partner.

When the two of them return, she's ready with her wool trench on, purse over her shoulder and a second coat over her arm. Elliot is entertaining whatever unintelligible story Noah is telling as he pushes him in his stroller towards her.

"That mine?" He asks.

"Yeah," Olivia answers. "Unless you have terribly important plans for the remainder of the day," she continues. "I'd like to finish our conversation and maybe Noah can show you his dinosaurs."

"Roarrrr," her son says.

"Yes baby, that's the sound the dinosaurs make," Olivia tells him.

"I can't say no to an offer like that," Elliot says, grinning.

He reaches for his coat as she holds it out.

"I'll follow you guys over," he adds and she agrees with a nod.

Twenty minutes later she's rolling Noah across her threshold with Elliot in tow. He sheds his coat and hangs it on the rack while Olivia removes her son from his stroller and gets them out of their winter gear.

"You think you can get that thing folded up while I change his clothes?" She asks. "There's some special button or lever to make it collapse but I can never find it."

"I'll try," he answers, giving the it the once-over. "No promises."

Olivia can't help but grin at the look of sheer concentration on his face as he attempts to become victorious at the time-honored battle of man against stroller.

She changes Noah into cartoon T-rex pajamas and puts him down to play with his favorite carnivores while she readies his snack. When Olivia enters the kitchen, she looks across the room and finds the stroller folded and leaning against the wall, Elliot sitting quietly on the sofa.

"He wants to show you his triceratops," she informs him. "And please don't keep him waiting," she urges. "Or else he'll cart all of them out here."

"Not very patient huh?" He chides with a grin. "Wonder where he gets that?"

"Please," Olivia counters with. "Like you're the prince of self-restraint."

After feeding him his snack of sliced apples and peanut butter, the three of them spend the rest of the day in Noah's world. Olivia tells a story that Elliot does the voices with, to the three-year-old's delight. The little boy shows him every dinosaur he has, releasing a good chuckle from the former detective when he growls.

They lose track of the day and before they realize, it's dinnertime. Elliot treats them to pizza and they get comfortable on the sofa watching How to Train Your Dragon. It's Noah's favorite movie and while he begins excitedly telling his new buddy about it, Olivia notices how his eyes are beginning to droop.

A half hour into the film, he's peacefully asleep.

"I'm gonna lay him down," she tells Elliot.

"You mind if I do it?"

"Um, no," she says, surprised. "No, go ahead."

A few minutes later he returns and finds her on the couch with two beers, television off. Olivia hands him a chilled bottle as he sits beside her.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I had a fun time today Liv," he begins. "I appreciate you introducing me to Noah and letting me hang out with you guys," he adds. "I hope I didn't intrude."

"It's fine. We didn't have any huge New Year's Eve plans," Olivia says. "And Noah had just as much fun as you did," she points out. "He's gonna wake me up bright and early tomorrow to tell me all about it."

Elliot laughs knowingly, remembering his children doing the same after meeting new people or going to a new place.

She takes a sip, rests her bottle on the table, brings a foot beneath her and edges into a corner before facing him.

"Time for grown-up talk?" He asks.

"Yeah," she answers with a small grin. "Hoping I forgot?"

"Nah," he answers. "I knew you wouldn't."

"I can't make you open up to me Elliot," she points out. "I never could."

"But you were always able to get more out of me than most," he admits.

"Not always," Olivia says. "So…you wanna tell me what's going on with you?"

He leans his back against the sofa cushions, legs wide, dangling his beer between two fingers before taking a long pull.

"There are times when I feel like something's…I don't know…missing, I guess is the right word," he offers.

"What do you mean?"

"My life used to be more defined," he tries. "I knew my roles, what I was supposed to do or who I was supposed to be," he continues. "Husband, father, cop."

"You'll always be a father Elliot," Olivia says. "And you could probably get back into law enforcement in some capacity if you wanted to," she adds. "As for being someone's husband…you tried for what? Thirty years?"

"And I'm okay with that," he tells her. "But, Eli spends most of his time at Kathy's—

"With her new husband," she concludes.

"Yeah," he admits. "And the rest of my kids are adults," he adds. "I guess…every day I'm realizing what I had and how much I took for granted that it would always be there."

With those last words, he turns his focus to Olivia and holds her eyes.

"What uh, what happened with everyone?"

"Liz is doin' okay, seeing a counselor regularly now," Elliot says. "She was used to getting better grades and just put too much pressure on herself with school," he explains. "Also, I don't think anyone took the divorce as hard."

"What about Richard and Maureen?"

"Rick pulled the typical male bullshit, pretending like he didn't care about what anyone did until he heard about Liz," he says with a sad smile. "He came home from trying to 'find himself' and was really there for her," he continues. "Now they're damn near inseparable."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah…as for Maureen," he begins. "She got into corporate law with a successful firm in Greenwich," he informs her. "She calls, but all she seems to do is work."

"I know it sucks Elliot," she starts. "But that's what kids do when they grow up," she adds. "The older they get, the less time they have for their parents," she surmises. "You did it to yours, I did it to my mom and thankfully not anytime soon, Noah's gonna do it to me."

"Guess that's why I appreciated today so much," he admits. "He's a great kid Liv."

"I know," she agrees. "I enjoy every moment with him."

"Goes by fast."

"So, besides yoga," she begins, changing the subject and getting him to smile. "What do you do with all your free time now that you have such deep pockets?"

"Try to get Eli as often as his busy social calendar will allow," he answers. "Aside from that, just try to keep busy with different projects and I've taken some classes."

"Good for you," she commends. "What subjects?"

"Pole dancing mostly."

Olivia laughs fully and punches him in the shoulder.

"Ow," he says. "You're a lot more violent than I remember," he jokes. "But seriously, I've been taking some courses in architectural design."

"I would never have pictured you getting into something like that," she admits. "You any good?"

"You like the loft?"

"Love it," Olivia responds, grinning. "That was you?"

"Yep," he responds, with an air of pride. "It was a bare bones factory when I found it," he reveals. "Another investment after the app with Jacob," he goes on. "I saw the skylight and just sort of planned around it," he explains. "And that stained-glass window was a last-minute flash of inspiration."

"And Catholic upbringing."

"Probably," Elliot says. "I put a lot of time into designing and overseeing the construction," he tells her. "Too much time honestly."

She reaches for her beer and takes a sip, ruminating on whether to breech another likely uncomfortable topic. But he's the one that wants to reconcile, so she has nothing to lose by talking about what matters.

Something they didn't do enough as partners.

"Is that what happened with…"

"Linda," he finishes. "I don't know…probably," he admits. "She urged me to talk about what was goin' on with me, the kids," he continues. "But I just couldn't so…the more she pushed, the more time I put into doing the loft renovations."

"You're an idiot."

He grins slightly at her quick assessment of the situation.

"I know," Elliot acknowledges. "It didn't take her nearly as long as Kathy, to get tired of my shit," he says. "More than likely because we didn't have kids to raise."

"Maybe she just loved you enough to try and be patient," she suggests. "But when two people stop talking…the relationship doesn't stand much of a chance."

It happened with Brian, then again with Tucker. More so on her end than theirs but she's speaking from experience.

"Or in this case, one person," he clarifies. "I had a tendency not to talk about things that made me uncomfortable, those I couldn't fix," he explains. "Or control."

"What do you mean had a tendency?" Olivia asks. "When did that change?"

"I came to the realization that if I didn't wanna keep losing people that mattered, I needed to become a hell of a lot better at communicating," he admits. "So, I started seeing a psychiatrist twice a week," he reveals. "At first it was like pulling teeth."

"And then?"

"I thought of Liz and didn't wanna be a hypocrite so I started spilling my guts," he confesses. "I discussed my kids, how I felt about my mom's illness, my dad's abuse," he lists. "Knowing my marriage was over the first time around, my partnership with you," he adds. "It all came out with a shit ton of frustration, anger and a few tears."

"I'm guessing the frustration and anger surfaced when you were discussing our partnership," she says, leaning to rest her beer on the table again. "I know it did for me with my shrink."

"You'd be surprised," Elliot tells her.

"Tears?" She asks, eyebrows raised.

"Walking away from you…the way I left," he continues. "Knowing how that looked and how it must've felt," he goes on. "It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made."

"But you made it," Olivia points out. "Without so much as a heads-up to me that you were thinking about it."

"I'm sorry Liv," he says. "I don't need a shrink to tell me what a dick move that was," he admits. "But I did need one to help mend all the other relationships in my life," he goes on. "There's only one left to work on."

She reaches for and finishes the last of her beer, grabs his empty bottle from the coffee table and walks into the kitchen with him in tow.

Elliot sits on a barstool, watching as she grabs two more.

"I take it you mean us," Olivia says, sliding a beer to him.

"Yeah."

"Look, I agreed to start over," she reminds him, resting her palms against the opposite side of the counter. "What more do you want from me Elliot?" She asks. "We don't have a time machine to take us back to where we were before you decided to pull a disappearing act."

"If I could buy one, I would," he tells her. "After we were done booking those assholes and filing the paperwork, I was gonna talk to you that night."

The poker face award, if there were such a thing, would go to her for remaining completely stoic about his revelation.

"Doesn't matter now," Olivia contends. "I said we'd reconcile…for Kathleen, and that's what I plan on doing," she says. "No need to keep dredging up the past."

"But you also said you miss me," he points out, standing to enter the kitchen.

"Missed," she corrects. "Past tense," she adds, but he ignores it.

Elliot places both forearms on the counter, standing side by side with his former partner as they look out over her living room.

"I told you I'd been doing two things since leaving," he reminds her. "The first was figuring out who I was without my shield…and the other was trying to connect with someone else the way I did with you," he confesses. "I've only succeeded at one of those Liv."

Olivia chances a sideways look after his revelation and can't be stoic with the sincerity she finds in his eyes. It's much easier to focus on her small living room, so that's what she does.

"I miss…getting into trouble with you," he begins, making her scoff. "I miss pushing each other to take breaks when we were both too damn stubborn to sleep on long cases," he continues. "I miss…watching you give a perp false hope in interrogation before snatching it away."

That one, she can't help but smile at.

"Those are aspects of every partnership," she says, growing serious again. "I'd expect you to miss the same things from anyone you were assigned to as long as we were."

"There's more Liv," he rasps, sweeping her hair behind her ear.

"What are you doing?" She whispers, trying to ignore his proximity now that he's facing her.

"I've always wanted to do that," Elliot confesses. "I miss…watching that confident walk of yours, the smell of your hair," he adds, bending to get a whiff and ends up nuzzling her neck.

Olivia closes her eyes at the slight contact.

"I miss the sound of your voice," he continues, after pulling back. "I miss walking into a room knowing you're gonna be there," he adds, laying his warm palm against her cheek. "God, I miss this face."

She finally turns to meet him fully, resting her hand on his forearm as he leans closer, affected by his words, his proximity.

"I miss you Liv," he whispers against her lips. "So damn much."

Elliot closes the distance between them, covering her mouth with his. The kiss isn't the least bit hesitant or cautious. It's hungry, passionate and he wastes no time urging her lips apart to slide his tongue along hers. He tickles the roof of her mouth, nibbles on her soft lips then suckles at the lower one causing a quiet moan to erupt from her throat before he dives in after it.

The strength she had to try and suppress their innate attraction is completely diminished once he touches her. Olivia bumps into his shoes trying to get closer. As he threads his fingers through her hair, she wraps hers around his back, pulling him against her. There is no light between the two. For the first time in nearly six years, nothing separates them save for a few layers of clothing.

They nip, suckle and tease one another's lips like two teenagers, fiercely desiring yet not ready for anything more. She feels her heart racing, a warmth in the pit of her stomach and a humming throughout her body. Still, the two manage not to strip each other naked. And, after endless moments of continuing between breaths, it is the need for oxygen that finally separates them.

"We shouldn't have done that," Olivia confesses, fingers resting against her kiss swollen lips as she leans back against the counter.

He places both hands against hers, caging her inside his arms.

"It definitely felt like we should have," Elliot whispers, after leaning towards her right ear. "Do you regret it?" He asks, kissing her neck before pulling back.

If he continues, she'll lose all objectivity.

"No," she says, turning to pick up her forgotten beer and effectively creating distance between them. "But I don't think you and I together is a particularly great idea."

Her body's reaction to him fully disagrees.

"Is it because I hurt you?" He asks, lifting his own bottle and giving Olivia the space she so obviously desires. "Or maybe you're still pissed at me."

"Maybe both," Olivia answers. "But mostly it's because you seem to be searching for something and I don't know that it's me," she explains. "Plus, I have Noah to think of now."

Hence the reason she's ignoring her body's reaction.

"You think I've come back after all this time to hurt you again?" He asks, incredulously. "Or to use you and your son to fill some void?" He continues, voice raised.

And just like that, the old Elliot that she knew and…well, the man she knew seems to be peeking out from under this new open, more patient model of her former partner.

She quickly moves past him to check on Noah, even though he sleeps like the dead. Elliot is calmer when she returns, mimicking her previous position against the counter.

"I'm sorry Liv," he says immediately. "You didn't deserve that. I hope I didn't wake him."

"You didn't."

To Olivia's surprise, he takes her hand, tugs her towards the sofa, prompting her to sit beside him to resume their conversation.

"Did you hear anything I said?" Elliot asks.

"Every syllable," she answers. "And no…I don't think you would try to use us that way," she assures him. "But in your own words, you feel like something is missing."

"There is," he admits, caressing her fingers with his thumb.

"I just," Olivia tries, then takes a breath. "I don't wanna get involved with you for the sake of nostalgia, then have it go to shit because, maybe you have a selective memory," she continues. "But we've had some pretty awful fights."

Elliot tries and fails to hide a grin.

"What's so damn amusing?"

"I miss the arguments too," he affirms. "Can I make another confession?"

"Why stop now?"

"I had some of the most vivid sexual fantasies I've ever had after having those blow-ups," he tells her.

Olivia immediately withdraws her hand from his, having gotten the wrong idea.

"And I'm sure Kathy appreciated hearing all about 'em."

He leans towards her again, avoiding her lips, instead whispering softly into her ear.

"They weren't about her," he rasps.

When he pulls back, Olivia's mouth hangs slightly open in surprise and he takes advantage, giving her another lingering kiss. She feels the same sparks they've always had between them increase ten-fold now that she's learned what he tastes like.

And if she's honest with herself, she'll realize the intensity of their bond, the push and pull of their dynamic and the chemistry they've always shared is what was missing from her previous relationships.

Apparently, it's been the same for him.

"I'm not here with you right now for the sake of nostalgia or even because of Kathleen's ultimatum," Elliot begins, when they come up for air. "I need you Liv."

Apparently, Kathleen was right. But she never thought she'd hear those words fall so honestly from Elliot's lips.

"Why?" She asks, resting a hand against his chest.

"Because I wanna remind both of us I wasn't always the kind of man that would've abandoned one of the most important people in his life," he answers, putting a hand over hers. "I wanna know what it's like to gravitate towards each other because it just…feels right, not because we're both going through shit."

Olivia pulls away abruptly and stands, moving to the window to sit on the ledge.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"You come back here, wanting to redeem yourself for how you left," she begins. "Saying things I've wanted to hear for years, kissing me..."

"What about it?"

"I guess I'm just wondering, why now?" She asks. "And how long did it take you to realize that I'm so damn important?"

"Liv –

"No Elliot," she interrupts. "Was this revelation before or after the divorce? Before or after Linda? Before or after Kathleen essentially threatened you into showing your face?"

"I don't think you really wanna know," he warns.

"Why not?" She asks smugly, crossing her arms against her chest and standing. "Too recent a development?"

"No," he answers. "It's because I've known for years and I was too chicken shit to do anything about it," he confesses. "I have a lot of regrets in my life Liv, and that one's right at the top."

It's silent between them for a few moments, each having rendered the other speechless.

"Look…I'll help you finish the loft and be your plus one," she begins. "But we won't be BFFs again, and we shouldn't try for anything else."

He sighs disappointedly, shakes his head and worries his bottom lip.

"You don't trust me anymore, do you?"

"I don't know you anymore Elliot," she corrects. "You don't know me either and more importantly, I'm not sure you know what the hell you want."

"I told you exactly what I want, what I need," he asserts. "You just don't believe that you're it," he says. "But I got a month to prove it to you," he reminds her. "And I plan on making the most of that time, every way I can think of."

He beelines for her, palms her face and kisses her again before she can object. This time it's not as hungry, but sweeter, more tender and just as passionate. Olivia is naturally drawn to him like bees to nectar. She can't not rest her hands at his lower back, she can't not pull him tighter against her, she can't not…return his kiss.

"You should stop doing that too," she throws out as he walks away to retrieve his coat.

"Then you should stop letting me," he counters with a knowing smirk as he opens the door. "I'll call you so we can decide which room to do next," he adds. "Happy New Year, Liv."

If she didn't know better, Olivia could swear he was beaming when he left. Funny, seeing as though she just told Elliot she wasn't interested in pursuing an intimate relationship. Though having confirmed that a large part of the old him is still alive and well, she knows he probably considers it a personal challenge.

A few minutes later she receives a text.

U certainly don't kiss like missing me is in the past tense.

And just like that, she remembers why nothing with Elliot was ever easy. Despite time, circumstance and the things they've both endured in one another's absence, they still know each other better than anyone else.

E/N: For someone who claims to be good at communication, his listening skills suck. The woman clearly said she didn't want to start anything with him. But does he listen? Nope. Then again, why would he? Olivia's not exactly pushing his lips away...lol. Pretty please review?!