WDWG - Chapter 4: Declarations

Once Xander and Giles returned, Faith and several of the Slayers came over to help unload the new supplies. Xander decided to play Quartermaster, having all the supplies moved over to the supply tent, and setting up a system to ensure that everyone got what they needed.

Giles headed towards his tent. He needed to check his overnight bag before gathering his courage to find Buffy. They definitely needed to patch things up. He knew it last night, he just didn't know how, then. His discussion with Xander had been enlightening, though. The boy - no, definitely a man now - had shown courage as he stood up to him and fought for their family. One way or another, he hoped they all could get some alone time to discuss the future.

Willow met Giles at the entrance to his tent. "Feeling better, Watcher Guy?"

"A little. I'm sorry I've been out of sorts." His left hand reached for the back of his neck as he brought his eyes up to meet hers. "Have you seen Buffy? I seem to owe her an apology as well. I've been somewhat boorish."

"She decided she needed to get out of Dodge." Willow explained. Giles tilted his head and pursed his lips. "She went for a walk saying she knew her way around and would be back in a bit. Don't worry, she brought along some water and snacks. She'll be ok." Willow watched as Giles entered his tent, grabbed something and put it in his back pocket. She continued offering him some intelligence, "We talked, she's afraid you're going back to England again."

"You know I'll have to."

"Giles..."

"Don't worry, Willow. I understand what you are saying, but it will never be like the last time. Never again." He promised in a soft tone. Then he looked at her, touched her cheek and nodded towards Xander, "He's hurting and not just for Anya. He doesn't know if his parents..."

"He's shut down for a while, Giles. He had some time with Buffy last night and he'll talk more when he's ready. Don't worry. Let him care for the girls. He needs that." Willow explained. Giles nodded and headed off down the path in search of Buffy.

He found her by the stream bed they were at earlier in the day and watched her from afar. Buffy was seated on a rock, her right knee tucked up under her cheek and one arm wrapped around the knee. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. As he approached closer, he saw that her eyes were closed and the tear streaks on her cheeks dry. He made sure he could be heard, not wanting to surprise her.

When her eyes opened, he held out a small stuffed pig as a peace offering, "I thought maybe Mr. Gordo would serve better than a penny."

Buffy's expression softened as she took her childhood friend from him and hugged it to her chest. "I thought everything was lost."

"I, uh, I took a few minutes while you were packing the weapons and helping the girls prepare before the battle to grab a few things I thought might be important." He pulled something out of his back pocket and handed it to her.

"My passport?" Buffy looked over the document.

"I thought it might be needed at some point." He settled on the rock next to her and turned, taking in her eyes, "Come home with me, Buffy. To England. To rebuild the Council." His voice lowered a bit, "I can't do this without you, either."

She stared at him for a few moments before asking, "What about Dawn, Xander, Willow... the Slayers?"

He took her hands in his and looked at them. It still amazed him after all these years how tiny they were, how petite she was for such a huge calling. "I need to know what you want first, Buffy." He raised his eyes to look into hers. "Then we can focus on the rest." His voice was calm, thankfully not betraying the absolute terror he was feeling on the inside.

Buffy shifted her body towards him, relaxing into the calm atmosphere he created. This was her Giles, her rock, the man she had been searching for. "I'm sorry about the Council. Did you lose a lot of friends?"

"Several... and some family, too." He admitted, shifting his gaze to focus out over the rock formation.

"Oh, Giles!" She reached out and touched his cheek. Unconsciously, he closed his eyes and leaned into her caress. "Who?"

With his eyes still closed he took a deep breath, "Several of my friends, two of my cousins, my father," he slowly opened his eyes, found hers and barely whispered the next three words, "and my sister."

He saw her shatter through the vast liquid pools of her changeable eyes, "Oh, God! I am so sorry! I never asked. I never..." She stood up, wanting to bolt, but knew she wouldn't abandon him now by doing so. How could she have been so callous? How was it that she'd never asked after his family when he showed up on her doorstep after the Council was destroyed? Yet, at the time, she felt that if something was wrong, he would have let her know.

Giles had told Buffy about his family after she lost her mother. They ended up talking late into the evening a few days after Joyce's funeral and he'd spoken of losing his mother at fourteen to an aggressive form of cancer. He and his older sister Miranda had been home from school and university respectively during the summer holidays, watching their mother's decline. Within two weeks of him coming home, she was gone. The loss of their mother had been too much for their father. He couldn't cope with the loss of his wife after losing his Slayer so many years before and threw himself into his work on the Council Board. It was Miri who took charge and helped Giles through his grief. Miri who found him after Randall's death and brought him back to the Council, sponsoring him when there was little support for him amongst the Board. He succeeded because of his sister and now she was gone.

Giles watched Buffy's reaction and tightened his grip on her hand trying to focus on the organization and not the individual losses to ease some of his pain, "Buffy... don't. Don't. The Council was an entity that refused to offer us the support we needed throughout the years. It's destruction, while unfortunate..."

"An entity comprised of people, Giles! People were killed. No... assassinated! People you loved and cared for. Oh, God! Miri, Giles! I should have been more sensitive. I..." Tears welled up but did not fall. She couldn't let them fall. Not yet. She needed to be strong for him.

"Buffy, it's past. There were circumstances both here and in England that were more dire. We had to press on. We'll have our time to mourn, starting tonight with your bonfire." Giles explained, tears threatening to spill. "I don't want to talk about this right now. I want to finish the conversation you started last night." He pulled her down to sit beside him, circling the back of her hand with his thumb and gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear with the other hand. "I want to talk about us."

She shivered, looked up, and saw his heart reflecting in those beautiful eyes she missed with all her soul. They were a deeper green now, not quite emerald, but darker than his usual shade with the amber patch in his left eye taking on an odd glow in the desert light. She moved closer in and he shifted to meet her halfway. Their eyes closed and their lips met tenderly. Buffy moved her hands up to his chest and around him to caress his back. Giles threaded his through her hair, cupping one hand at the nape of her neck and bringing the other back to her cheek. Their kiss deepened with more passion, both pouring their hearts into it for the other to take. He ran his tongue lightly along her lips and she parted them eagerly, allowing him to stroke her tongue with his. The kiss lasted for several minutes as they explored their passion, leaving them slightly winded when they finally broke apart. Giles rested his forehead against Buffy's.

"Buffy, love, tell me this is real, that you want me. But be sure to know your heart. Because if you only mean for me to be a replacement for Spike, love me enough to let me go. Just know that I love you with the very fibre of my soul and I will be here for you always." He closed his eyes tightly hoping he hadn't misread her.

She backed slightly out of the embrace to face him, touching his cheek. He opened his eyes at her caress and she lovingly circled her arms around his waist, "I told you this morning, Giles, I didn't love Spike. It was over before you and I talked in the Magic Box last year. This is so very real and I want you! God, Giles, I've been in love with you for a long time, but I just boxed it up and put it away. I figured happiness wasn't something I was going to get this time around. I messed up so badly... I don't deserve..."

"Sshhh, my love." He pulled her back into his arms, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head, feeling at peace for the first time in his life. She loved him! With that knowledge, he knew they would make it through the pain and the hurt of the past.

They sat in silence, content in each other's arms. After a while, Buffy answered Giles' question, her voice soft yet strong, "Giles, I want to go home. Please, take me home."

He drew in a ragged breath of relief, raised her chin, leaned down, and lightly brushed her lips with his. "As soon as we can." He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers. She reached up and covered his hand with hers and brought his palm to her lips, placing a light kiss upon it.

"I love you so much, Giles." The Slayer declared breathlessly. She was drained both emotionally and physically, but happier than she felt she had a right to be. Watching a smile come to his lips, her heart leapt from her chest. It had been so long since she'd seen a genuine smile on his face.

"And I, you, Buffy." He gently moved her down to the base of the rock they were sitting on, now sitting against it. She positioned herself so that she sat between his legs leaning against him with his arms around her, their fingers laced together. "This is nice." He whispered leaning his cheek against the top of her head. and she tilted her head back and to the side to capture his lips.

They spent the next hour enjoying the solitude of their sanctuary and relishing in loving kisses and gentle caresses. Giles looked down at their entwined hands raising them to kiss her knuckles, "I imagine it's getting late and we should make an appearance back at camp. That and I think my arse fell asleep."

Buffy turned towards him and giggled, placing a kiss on his chin. "Do I need to rub it to get the blood flow started?" She asked, standing up and offering Giles a hand.

Giles blushed a deep crimson red and lifted an eyebrow at her unintentional innuendo. "Buffy!" He admonished, before starting to giggle uncontrollably. In fact, he snorted and fell back against the rock, tears escaping from his eyes. Buffy, at first horrified at her slip, watched him and once she started, she couldn't stop laughing. Every time there was a bit of a lull, one would look at the other and they would start back up again.

Finally, Buffy calmed down enough, "Oh Giles! I think we should head back now."

"Quite." He put his arm around Buffy's shoulders and she looped her arm around his waist as they walked back up the path to camp.

Before they rounded the bend that brought them into view of the camp, Buffy stopped, took his hand in hers and looked up into his jade colored eyes, "Promise me we'll talk about Miri and your dad soon?"

"We have all the time in the world, love. I promise." He leaned down and kissed her lightly. They entwined their fingers and Giles put his right hand into his pocket as they walked back into camp.