A country in the north, Russia...
Ark Royal read through how Royal Sovereign continued to let her own suffering consume her. It threw her emotional state into a state she could no longer perform her duties properly.
"You were hurt the most since you and Oak were close"
She read how grief got the best of Royal Sovereign.
"You refused the sympathy of others and distanced yourself. Even to Warspite..."
Ark Royal sat on her bed, still reading the journal. She already read halfway through it.
"I wish I could have known back then..."
In a way, Ark Royal felt like she should have done something to comfort Royal Sovereign. It's not her fault or anything.
"You distanced yourself because you needed to regain your composure"
Ark Royal expressed her thoughts after reading Royal Sovereign's perspective on the time she barely interacted with her fellow ship girls. She felt sympathy for her more than anything.
"...but what really turned you into a traitor?"
She continued to read the journal and she flipped the page to the part where Royal Sovereign is going to depart for Russia.
0700. I'm already scheduled for departure. Before I leave the base and miss the country I was born into, Warspite and Ark Royal came to see me one last time.
"It looks this is the last time I'm going to be part of the Royal Navy"
I smiled at the two of them, not wanting them to see how sadness is slowly tearing me apart. In a way I feel bitter, not to my fellow ship girls, but for the Royal navy...
"Even so, you are still one of us. You're still a ship girl of the Royal navy" Ark Royal crossed her arms
I looked at Warspite whole looked like she wants to say something to me. O do want to say something to her, but I...just simply can't.
"Sovereign, I hope you can find strength to free yourself from grief"
Warspite walked towards me and gave me advice. She then leaned closer to me and hung something around my neck.
"A necklace?" I'm a but surprised
"Remember that necklace?"
"Ah. This..."
She hung a necklace around my neck. I then remembered the necklace was something she always wore when she was twelve. She dropped it in a river one time so I jumped on the river and dived to retrieve it.
"You jumped on a running river just to get it. You dove into danger just to get it back...so it's special to me"
Her soft and gentle hands touched my cheeks. There's something about her that gives me peace every time I would always feel her warmth.
"I'm giving it to you would always remember you're still part of the Royal navy" She told me
"It's also so you would never forget Warspite..." Ark Royal added
"Yeah. So I would never forget..."
This necklace. This will always remind me to never forget...the woman who I vowed to be protect. If only I could be by her side.
"Live not for whom you lost, but for whom you have in the present"
"Thank you...and goodbye"
My farewell is short. Well I'm not good at saying farewells anyway.
"Milady, whatever I may become...I will always be your knight"
"Sovereign..."
"That is something I won't let anyone take away from me"
I told Warspite what I have in mind before I leave. The other ship girls came to see me off as they wave goodbye. I'll always be a Royal Navy ship girl...even if I will fight under the flag of the Russian navy.
"Russia, huh..."
It's cold like they say. Compared to England, the weather here is different. I hear the winter here is worse than any other countries.
"So this is my naval base starting from now on..."
After a minute of looking at my surroundings, I head towards my naval base. The girls here dresses a bit differently. I guess it's expected for a different country with a different culture. Like Japanese destroyers wearing school uniforms.
"Hammer and sickle?"
As I make my way to the admiral's office, I notice some ship girls having a hammer and sickle insignia on their uniforms. the just shook my head and continued walking to the admiral's office, avoiding trivial distractions.
"Admiral"
I entered the office and saluted, greeting my admiral starting this day. He stood up and saluted before sitting back on his chair.
"So you must be Royal Sovereign, the British battleship handed over to the Russian navy"
"Yes, I'm the battleship that is going to serve under the flag of the Russian navy"
"From this day forward, you are the Russian battleship Arkhangelsk now"
Arkhangelsk. It is the name given to me the day I am sent to Russia. Other than me, I've heard there's an Italian battleship too.
"I am...Arkhangelsk. A battleship of the Russian navy"
I saluted at my admiral and just accepted my fate as former Royal navy ship girl handed over to the Russian navy.
"By the way, I heard you lost your sister almost a couple of weeks ago"
When the admiral mentioned my sister, I reacted. The mere mention of it suffocates my heart. I can't still move on from what happened.
"...she sunk at Scapa Flow. Torpedoed by a submarine...just as she was returning from a sortie...damaged"
"I see. Sorry for your loss"
Words cannot simply describe what and how I felt during that day. Nothing can ever change what happened. Royal Oak is gone and she's never coming back. I have to accept that...but I can't move on no matter what I do.
Ark Royal stopped reading after she had came to realize how Royal Sovereign can't find the strength to move on.
I spent the days gazing at the sky and wondering I'm given this such fate. The only thing keeping the loneliness from crushing me is the necklace Warspite gave me. I clutch to it every time I long for my homeland and comrades...
She also read how Royal Sovereign, now Arkhangelsk, is constantly homesick. Ark Royal reading her journal felt like she's beginning to understand what she felt.
"The more you long for home, the more you become depressed. Yet you didn't let it get the best of you"
She flipped the page hoping to find out what drove Arkhangelsk to the brink of madness. She stopped at a certain page when certain words caught her attention.
When a certain Russian battleship stepped out of the line, they replaced the admiral with a new one...
Ark Royal swallowed her breath, curious to know what happened and what would be the outcome.
I...prefer the old one. Because this one...is someone hard to accept as a commander. I'm certain he's the kind of admiral you don't want to be assigned to. I admit I feel resentment towards him.
The aircraft carrier focused her attention on that journal's entry.
I did my duty as I was told, but his superiors weren't satisfied enough. The Russian navy wanted to best both the Royal navy and the Kriegsmarine. His superiors couldn't accept how measly countries bested the proud Russian navy.
"What do you mean an enemy escaped?!"
"The Abyssal fled before the fleet could pursue. Forgive me, admiral..."
"Saying sorry won't cut it! How can you fail such an easy task? All you have to do is sink common Abyssals yet you let one measly pest get away!"
He hit the desk, letting his anger out. He has no right to be this angry. While a ship girl like me risk my life out there, he's here barking orders and blaming every single mistake on me. I truly feel resentment for this admiral...but I have no choice but to bear with it.
"It won't happen again"
"Don't just say, do it! You and your fleet were a failure!"
"No, sir. As flagship, I take full responsibility"
He slammed his desk, this time with more force. His superiors pressure is really stressing him out.
"I don't understand the need to surpass the Royal navy and the Kriegsmarine. Does it really matter who's superior?"
"Try telling that to those geezers..." At least he calmed down a bit
"Is it pride?"
"The Russian navy is becoming a laughing stock. The French made it worse by saying Russia couldn't hold it's own without those two country's help"
"..."
I've heard how the Royal navy and Kriegsmarine provided assistant to the Russian navy who has no choice but to accept it. I know Russians are proud warriors, but his superiors have quite an ego...unfortunately. I heard when the lonely Queen of the North protected the shipping lines against the Abyssals on her own in Norway, they were upset how their battleships couldn't do the same.
"...I understand"
Even so. That didn't end. I keep doing my tasks exactly how I was told...but the accomplishments weren't enough. He's always angry at how it's still not enough. How the Russian navy is incapable of matching the other navies.
"What's wrong with me...?"
I laughed at myself. I've gotten weaker ever since one of my sisters sunk. I'm close to my sisters as much I was close to Oak. Losing one of my sisters devastated me. Rev was upset too and didn't even for a whole day. When I kept thinking on how distracted I became, someone walked towards me.
"Are you okay...?"
It's a ship girl I never saw before. I've been here for a week yet I never came across this ship girl. The blonde ship girl with medium length hair and seemingly cold eyes, tilted her head.
"..."
I inspected the ship girl. There's an Iron cross on her uniform so I guess that means she's German. Other than that, she also wears a sleeveless coat, detached sleeves with Iron cross on both sides, and a peaked cap with pointed things on the side.
"Who...are you?" I asked
"I'm Tirpitz. A battleship from Germany"
Her name is Tirpitz. She's the younger sister of Bismarck. Victorious mentioned her sometimes.
"And you are...?"
"My name is Ro - I mean...it's Arkhangelsk"
She looked at me strangely. Why is she looking at me like that?
"Your face..." She looked at me
"Ah don't mind. It's nothing to worry about..."
When she asked me about my face, I just lied to her so she wouldn't worry or anything.
"Have you been crying?" She asked
"H-how..."
She leaned on a wall and slid down. I sat near her, wondering about what she wants to say.
"I know a sad person when I see one"
"I'm not sad though..." I spoke
"You're in denial of your feelings. You sound like my partner"
"I'm here to do my duty as a ship girl. I just keep fighting...no matter what my emotional state is"
"...Huh. It looks like we're a bit the same"
This German looks like she smiles without a care. No...in fact, her smile has little warmth it. She tries to smile, but there was little meaning to it.
"Why are you sad anyway?"
"I've became weaker ever since one of my sisters died. I became a failure..."
"Don't say that. You're not a failure, no one is. Arkhangelsk, you're only a failure if you keep thinking yourself as one"
She raised her voice, angry at how I degrade myself. I lost my confidence...and any sign of hope...unlike her.
"You look like the type who won't give up..."
"I would, but I always have my sister to support me. There's also Graf, Eugen, and Scarnhorst who I call my closest friends"
"Ha ha ha. Me too. I had people that are close to me" I laughed
I leaned on the wall and thought about the Royal navy. My old navy.
"There's Ark Royal, Victorious, Rodney, and the little ones back in my old base. Though, more than anyone...Warspite is the person most important to me"
"Warspite?!"
"You know her?"
When I mentioned Warspite, she reacted like she knows Warspite. I wonder if the two met.
"She trained me during my sea trials. You know. The training you have to complete before officially entering service"
"She did mention she trained several ship girls before" I remembered
The two of us laughed, as it's s coincidence both of us knew the same person.
"Why is Warspite important to you?"
"Words can't easily describe it, but she's someone very precious to me. I don't want to lose her because I won't be able to bear that pain"
I can't express my thoughts, but I know Warspite is very important to me. Losing Royal Oak is still painful, but if I were to lose Warspite...I'd lose my mind.
Remembering something, Ark Royal stopped for a while. She remembered how Arkhangelsk is still wearing the necklace Warspite gave to her twelve years ago.
"Strange..."
Even though Arkhangelsk said she no longer cares for Warspite and "abandon" her, she didn't remove the necklace.
"What if...you haven't fully lost your mind?"
Ark Royal thought that since she read how Royal Sovereign saw Warspite as someone very important to her.
"Maybe you wrote the reason here..."
Wishing to know more, Ark Royal hoped 'Arkhangelsk' wrote more of what she truly felt and thought.
Again and again. Whenever he would get angry, he would just keep yelling. According to his records, he was always strict to his trainees and doesn't tolerate failure. He was a harsh sergeant before who expected everyone to meet his standards.
"Why didn't you do it?!"
He raised his voice so much his veins were already popping out.
"...because what you ordered...is something I could never do" I replied
I replied with no hesitation and faced him, looking at him without fear. If he can't tolerate low standards, then I can't tolerate his thinking.
"I ordered you to continue the advance, but you retreated!"
"B-but...two of the destroyers were already heavily damaged. Advancing...means they're...at the risk of sinking..."
I defended the decision I made during the last battle. I would never sacrifice two good ships for one minor victory.
"In the battlefield, there's only one law! Even if you lose an arm or leg, you fight to the last breath!"
"Cut it out with that pride of yours!"
When I answered back, he was genuinely taken by shock. He expected his subordinates to be obedient, but I could no longer tolerate it
"I've had it. We all had it. If the fleet fails even if they do their job like their supposed to, then you're the problem"
"How dare you-!"
"I suggest you fucking straighten up or I'll make sure you'll never command this fleet ever again"
"Are you threatening me?!" His voice shook
"The Russian navy doesn't tolerate incompetent admirals. I'm merely warning you...admiral"
I slammed the desk and he sat back in his chair, extremely shocked when I retaliated. He remained speechless even after I have left the office.
I...just want to sleep...
Everything went blank. I couldn't remember what happened. I don't know how much time passed. When I woke up, I saw Tirpitz and some of the ships girls worryingly looking at me.
"Arkhangelsk..." One of them looked worried
"We're so sorry" Another did the same
"It's our fault!"
They looked like they're about to cry. What's wrong with them?
"Why are you idiots apologizing?"
"Even though the admiral ordered you to continue the advance, you disobeyed"
"You knew we would sink if we continued fighting so you ordered the fleet to retreat"
"I-if only we weren't heavily damaged, he wouldn't be mad at you. You wouldn't have to defend is"
The three of them started crying while I don't know how to feel. Tirpitz is just leaning her back on the wall with her arms crossed.
"I may be an obsolete battleship, but I can take scolding just like how I take shells to the face"
I gave them head pats so they would stop crying. I don't want them to think it's their fault while I took all the responsibility. I'm the flagship so it's my duty to take responsibility. After the three had left, I am left alone with Tirpitz.
"That was bold of you"
"It's better to be me than you and those other girls. They're still young. I don't want them to be traumatized"
I worry for those kids. I don't want their minds to turn in the wrong direction.
"Why did you retaliate?" She asked
"I should be asking you the same thing. I heard about how you straightened your partner"
I smirked, letting her know I'm aware about her and her partner Gangut who is infamous for his violent and rebellious nature.
"You're...so thoughtful of your partner"
"While she's stubborn, violent, and short tempered...she's a good person. She went through a lot of hell in her life...I can see it"
Her fist clenched the bed sheet, showing how she feels empathy for her partner. I wonder if Tirpitz herself went through a living hell of her own at some point of her life.
"Tirpitz..."
"You and Warspire have been with each other for a long time. I can tell how you fondly talk about her"
"Yeah. I've been with her even before joining the Royal navy..."
"Just like me and my sister"
"What?" I'm confused
"Bismarck is my biological sister. Not everyone outside the Kriegsmarine knows that"
"No wonder you look like her"
We laughed together and had a good conversation. Even if Tirpitz had left, I answered her question while I continued to stare at the nothingness. My still wounded hand from the last battle gently touched the pendant Warspite gave to me.
Warspite...forgive me...
Ark Royal stopped as she is curious about the strangely added words at the bottom of the page. The handwriting was different compared to the style used in writing the entry in same page. Those three words were less legible as if Arkhangelsk's hands was shaking when writing it.
"This is...strange..."
She suspected it was written some time after the entry was made. She just doesn't know when. Now at least Ark Royal knows Arkhangelsk and some ship girls including Tirpitz were being scoroed by the admiral that replaced the original one.
"Perhaps your mind broke when you've become stressed from continuous pressure..."
The aircraft carrier wondered since Arkhangelsk's entries during her time in Russia had a lot of indication she was being put under pressure. Also, Ark Royal discovered how Tirpitz was indeed with Arkhangelsk during her time in Russia and the two seems to know each other well.
"Still..."
Ark Royal is still puzzled and curious to know what those three words meant and what Akrhangelsk was referring whens she wrote "It wouldn't matter anymore when I'm already facing a death row...". While she thinks about what it means, she closes the journal and keep it back inside her desk's drawer.