~ Thank you! I'm really glad your enjoying it! I had a lot of fun writing in the jokes. I love the Hillstrand brother, they are so down to earth, and goofy!

IrishCaptain ~ I know, it is defiantly a hard thing to deal with, especially when you lose someone who is still young. As for the girl, I feel bad for writing her life like I did, haha.

Chapter four

Too Tired to Work

Jake lay in his bunk, his eyes closed tight as if he were asleep, as he clutched the letter close to his chest. He wondered about the girl that wrote the letter, she couldn't have been that desperate, right? Over and over again, the same line came into Jakes restless mind, I am a burden to them. What am I supposed to do now? Is it too much to ask to be saved? Will you save me? Jake understood the girl too well. He knew how she felt, because at one point, Jake felt like a burden to his father, and brother, and to his crew. He was a let down in his fathers eyes. Being caught doing drugs, how selfish could he be? He was clean now, and struggling to keep it that way. The letter he clung to was like a drug to him, keeping him grounded, and focused. He knew as soon as the boat docked, and the season ended, he was going to set out to find this mysterious girl, Berlin Rayne, the girl that needed to be saved!

"Ok boys, lets go fishing!" Sig said on the loud hailer. The crew was awake, and ready to go, after two days of rest. The whole crew was anxious to get back to fishing on the Bering Sea. They had a time limit to meet their quota, and so far the ice was not on their side. All in all, the crew was more then happy to get back to fishing, all except for Jake Harris.

Sig lined the boat up readying the crew for their first twenty pot string. The fishing had been good in this spot before the storm, and now Sig was about to test the waters.

Thirty minutes into their twenty pot string, Edgar looks around at his crew, "Anyone seen Jake H?" He asked.

"Nope, haven't seen him all day." Jake Anderson said. Edgar was now starting to get annoyed with the Harris boy. Edgar called up to the wheelhouse, "We got a missing kid. He's a little shorter then the rest of us, brown hair, a little on the skinny side. Have you seen him?"

Sig laughed in response, "No I haven't, but I'll keep my eye out for him."

Jake Anderson decided to go search for the missing Jake. Jake Anderson wasn't sure what was going on with his friend. Anderson found Jake sleeping in his room, "Dude!" Jake Anderson yelled, which had little to no effect on the sleeping body. Jake A yanked the blankets off of Jake Harris, before shaking him awake.

"Dude, we just set a twenty pot string without you. Whats going on?" Jake Anderson asked. He was concerned for the younger Jake. They saw each other brother, Jake Anderson being around the same age as Josh, gave Jake Harris an older brother figure to look up to on the new boat.

"I'm just too tired to work." Jake Harris said.

"Are you using again?" Jake Anderson asked in a serious tone. This caused Jake Harris to fully wake up, "No man. I'm just tired. This are just so different."

"I know how you feel, but c'mon, its not too much longer before the season ends. I'm here for you too. You need to try and step it up a bit." Jake Harris walked past his friend, and up to the wheelhouse. Sig looked over his shoulder, not impressed with Jake H, but being who Sig was, didn't let his disappointment get in the way. All the younger deck hands were like children to Sig, especially Jake Anderson. Jake Harris, well he had a lot to learn in life, and Sig wanted to help him as much as he possibly could. He allowed Jake to do pretty much whatever he wanted. Edgar didn't agree with how Sig treated Jake Harris. Edgar thought a firm hand was better for the kid, where as Sig thought Jake was homesick, grieving for his dad, and missing his brother, Sig thought it would be best to let him figure it out for himself. Either way, Jake seemed to lose.

"Hey Sig. Pretty nice day out." Jake said.

"Yeah, yeah it is. Whats up?" Sig asked, knowing Jake was hinting at something.

"You think maybe I can take the wheel for the next string?" Jake asked.

"Ugh..." Sig paused, "Sure, why not?! For now, go down, and see what the crew needs help with, I'll call you back up here when were ready."

Jake smiled, and left the wheelhouse.

On deck things we going pretty smooth, Jake thought, until it was time to take a take a short break. The crew was done with their first string, and Sig had heard there was some good fishing about two hours away. Sig told the crew to go in and rest, and called Jake up to the wheelhouse.

"Ok, you know the different controls, its pretty much go straight from here." Sig told Jake.

Jake knew the controls, it wasn't his first time steering the boat. Jake found it refreshing to be in the captains chair, it gave him hope, that one day he could live up to his fathers expectations. Jake let his mind wander with waves. Every memory seemed like a slap in the face to him, much like the waves on the Bering Sea hitting the boat as they went forth.

"You gonna run this boat one day Jacob?" Phil asked his son, with a smile on his face.

"You know it! Josh is going to be my cook." Jake laughed.

"No, I'm going to run the boat, and Jake is going to be my cook. He's the best cook on the boat!" Josh informed.

"These boys! You can both run the boat." Phil stated matter of fact.

Jake Harris smiled at the memory, but was pulled from his thoughts, as Jake Anderson made his way into the wheelhouse. Sig looked over to Jake A. Jake looked at Jake Harris. Anderson glared daggers at Jake, then at Sig. Jake Harris let the warning look go over his head, "Whats up dude?" Harris asked the older Jake with a smile on his face, all to proud of himself in the moment. Jake Anderson shook his head, then left the room. Sig turned his head, and looked out the window, watching the sea pass by.

Later In The Galley

Jake Harris couldn't stop boasting about Sig allowing him to take over, which infuriated Jake A to no extent. Jake Anderson accepted the Harris boys as his friends, and brothers. Though all the boats were in competition with each other, they were still extended family. On the boat itself, they were a family. Sig acted like a motherly father, where Edgar was the strict fatherly figure. Jake Anderson was a cocky punk when he first got on board of the Northwestern, but in time he learned to take what the Hanson brothers had to offer. He learned everything he could. Where everyone was resting, Jake Anderson found work to do. Always sure to keep himself as busy as he could, and thats how he learned, and was more accepted everyday with the Hanson brothers, and the crew. Anderson worked as hard as he could to be where, and who he was today. Jake Harris, however, seemed to have a handout where ever he went. Sure he was the baby out of the whole group, but even so. Josh worked his butt off, and was eager to learn what he could, but Jake didn't seem to care. Jake Anderson couldn't help but feel jealousy towards the younger man. Jealousy, and anger. Jake Anderson had lost his father, and his sister, there was no time for grieving, Jake Anderson had to keep going. What made Jake Anderson even more sick to his stomach, was that Edgar hadn't even said anything. Jake Anderson had more then what he could take, "You know what, just shut up. No one cares! You come on this boat, and think you have a free pass, because your Phil Harris youngest son, and you take advantage of everyone on this boat. I worked so hard to be where I am today, and your throwing everything that is being handed to you away. Stop wallowing in your self pity, and do something that will help all of us. Its not just about you. Your brother is doing just fine, I did just fine, its time for you to grow the fuck up." Jake Anderson yelled until he was completely out of breath. The air seemed to stiffen, and no one dared to say anything. Jake Harris just sat with a smug smirk on his face, "You think all I care about is myself. You have no idea what I'm going through. Josh didn't know either. Your not my brother, stop acting like you care." Jake Harris spat, before he got up, making his way to his room once again.

Jake Anderson following him, not yet done with his lecture, "Your so fucking blind Jake, you think no one cares about you, but your so wrong. Everyone cares so much about you. I know what you went through, I know how difficult it must be for you to not touch the drugs. I've been there. I did it, I came over it. I know! As for the crew, why do you think you get away with whatever you want to do? Because everyone loves you, and is willing to let the crew suffer, and pick up your slack. Maybe if you opened up your eyes, and stopped walking around is such a daze you would see that Jake." Jake Anderson continued long after Jake Harris locked himself in his room. Jake Harris couldn't face his friend any longer, and didn't want to hear the words he spoke, knowing all to well they were true.

"Give it a rest Jake, hes not going to change, and you cant force him. He has to do this for himself. He couldn't change for his dad, or his brother. He wont change for you either." Edgar said trying to calm Jake Anderson. He knew Edgars words were true, what hurt him the most, was that he had lost more then Jake Harris. His father was murdered, and before that, his sister, and best friend was taken from him. Then when Phil died only weeks after his father went missing, it was like another blow to Jake Anderson. Not only had he lost his father, but he also lost another father figure. Still, Jake Anderson had to keep on going. There was no time for feeling sorry, or sulking, or crying. However, the Harris brothers were allowed all the time in the world for crying, and self pity. Jake Harris seemed to be throwing himself an ongoing pity party, and Jake Anderson had more then enough.

Jake Harris lay on his bed, staring at the framed photo of his father. Jake clutched the letter once more to his chest. Wishing somehow he could find the girl that wrote the letter. He knew Jake Anderson was only trying to help him, but what pissed the younger man off the most was, everyone thought he was back on drugs. In all honesty, he hadn't even thought about drugs. In fact, the truth was he was just exhausted. He felt like he had a point to make, and high standards that needed to be reached, and when he got word of how well his brother was doing, that just brought Jake down even more. He was homesick, and indeed missed his dad, and his brother. What also hurt, was the fact that Josh could do so well on a different boat, away from his little brother. Jake was in pain, and didn't know how to express those feelings. On top of that, he was back to being a greenhorn. It all just made him miserable, and depressed. He wasn't eating right, and was sleeping as often as he could, it was all just a way for him to mask his pain. No one understood his true feelings. Jake wanted so badly to live up to his fathers expectations. Jake was trying to deal with so much guilt. He felt guilty for stealing his dads meds, he felt guilty for fighting with him right before he died. Guilty because the last time they spoke Phil told him he didn't want him in his life any longer. Jake remembered walking into the hospital, and seeing his father in the bed, so weak. Jake whispered in his fathers ear, "I'm sorry pops, I'm not the son you thought I would be."

"Just get clean Jacob. I want to see you clean. Your gonna run the boat for me. You have too."

"I made arrangements to go to a hospital. I leave tonight."

"Good, take care of yourself, and get clean, so you dont end up like me."

Jake gave his father a hug, and a kiss before he walked out of the hospital.

Jake now how tears flowing freely down his face. He felt like a failure to his father. He had let everyone he cared about down, including his father. He couldn't even afford to keep the CM going. And now he was back in a starting position on a different boat. And his brother was doing better then him, a deckhand on the Time Bandit, on of the guys, and doing just fine without him. Thats what hurt Jake. No one tried to take the time to find out what was bugging him, everyone just assumed it was because of the drugs. He had thought a lot in the few months being on the Northwestern, for his future. Fact was, he was young, and didn't finish highschool. He had no experience doing anything else, his whole life was fishing. Thats what Jake knew, thats what he lived for. Fishing was in his blood. And he was thinking about leaving it all behind, because no body seemed to need him. Jake turned over on his side, the crying, and his racing thoughts taking a toll on his mental state. His eyes drifted shut, as he instantly fell asleep.

Another done, and posted! I'm also writing another Jake Harris/OC fic, So keep your eyes open for that. I'm going to try to have the first chapter posted in a day or so. the title is called Whatever It Takes I am a HUGE K drama fan, and the fic is based on the Korean Drama Coffee Prince. Its a really good Drama, and if anyone has time, you should check it out! Well I think thats it for now, I'm super sleepy... I think HAHA! Anyways comment, let me know your thoughts. Check out Coffee Prince, and GO VOTE on my poll, and wait for the new fic, and a new chapter! :)