Chapter Four
"Nevada? What Nevada?"
Reporter: *Fixes her hair, smiles, and turns to the camera* "And we're back on the fifth day of the tragic events of Emilio! The sun has just risen, and it seems that Emilio is on the move! Frank! Give us the low down from the borders of Nevada!"
Frank: "WELL, Pam." *The camera turns to him, since he is standing right next to her* "I'm here on the border of Nevada! It seems that Yuna and her guardians have found a way to keep the beast at bay!" *Gets hit in the head with a shoe* "WHO IS IT NOW?!"
Reporter: "THANKYOU, Frank." *Camera changes back to her, and she flashes a cheesy smile* "Yes. Fruitcake. Mounds and mounds of fruitcake are beginning to be placed along Nevada's borders, and it seems as if the Fiend Collar is straying away! Fletcher, give us the low down from the scene of the Fruitcake!"
Fletcher: *Is standing five feet away, where mounds of fruitcake is being dropped from helicopters* "Weeeeell… While mah man Auro was asleep he was approa'ched by a rabid fax machine."
Auron: *Is standing two feet away* *Looks at Fletcher funny* "His name was Don Juan."
Fletcher: "Aaaaaaaanyweh, in exchange for something, it would tell Auro what the weakness of dat coller ish."
Auron: *Goes into a hypnotic state* "The cowlick. It demanded the cowlick."
Reporter: *Pushes Auron off the spotlight* "Currently Congress is on the move with various hair products. Because… BREAKING NEWS!" *She grabs the piece of paper handed to her by Frank, then faints*
Frank: *Picks up the paper and read* "Breaking News: In the middle of the night Sir Wakka, Yuna's Guardian, was viciously attacked and in turn his cowlick was stolen. Some chemical reaction happened, and the cowlick was fed through a… Fax machine?"
Auron: *Somewhere off set* Don JUAN! Cunning… He's a cunning one…
Frank: *Continues reading* "The cowlick has grown to ENORMOUS proportions and is now en route to Nevada!" *Stops when he is hit with… Jelly like substances…. IMPLANTS?!*
Lulu: *Takes the mic calmly* "I want all of America to know that Georgy is here to fight Emilio. Wakka cannot comment at the moment since he is in a state of emotional stress…"
Yuna: "While we're waiting for Emilio to eat Nevada, which he is doing…" *Everyone turns to watch, and she plucks the mic* "Please buy my Boyfriend Manual! Breathing like you are on life support truly does wonders for the men!"
Reporter: "A HUGE CHUNK OF NEVADA IS MISSING! EMILIO HAS GOTTEN PAST THE FRUITCAKE!!!"
Lulu: "My push up bras are for sale as well."
Yuna: *Smiles* "And you know me!" *Nervous laugh* "Always ready to die for Spira!"
Fletcher: *While everyone has turned to watch Emilio devour Nevada* "I lost my puppet pig… MY PUPPET PIG!!! Filbeeeeeerrrrrt!!!"
*The song of CONGRESS is heard in the distance*
*Someone taps Yuna on the shoulder, and she turns, met with a dorky looking person with a platypus on their t-shirt.*
Person: "Hello, summoner Yuna. My name is Frederick. I am here with my society of Fredericks and Frederika's."
Frederick's and Frederika's: *In unison* "Hello Summoner Yuna."
Frederick #1: "We are an elite group of activists for the Platypi."
Frederika #1: *Giggles* "We live for the Platypi! Go Platypi Society of AMERICA!!"
Yuna: "…What can I do for you? If you'll excuse me, Nevada is being eaten by a huge collar…"
Frederick #2: "We rehearsed a song for you, Summoner Yuna!" *While the collar is finishing it's snack of Nevada*
Yuna: "That's…Nice…But I really do not have time at the moment…"
Platypi Society: "Dun… Dud u dud a!" *The begin to bob up and down, moving their arms too* "We love you Summoner Yuna, you make us feel free! We love you Summoner Yuna, you saved us, whee hee! We love you Summoner Yuna, we love you like our friends!" *Points to the Platypi on their shirts* "We love you Summoner Yuna, we love you Summoner Yuna, we love you Summoner Yuna, hoorah!" *They begin to do square dancing* "All because…"
*To the Green Acres theme:* "SpiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIra is the place to be! Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin livin' is the life for me! Land spreadin' out so far and wide, keep the fayth and just gimme this countryside!!!"
Frederika #100: "With YUUUUUUUUUUNA's where I'd rather be! Iiiiiiiiii've gotten so happy I gotta pee! I just ADORE her summoning ways, even though her hair's made of hay!"
Yuna: …. *Edges away*
The Platypi Society of America falls into the pit of Nevada and gets eaten.
The end.
PS – Don't ask, don't flame.
"Nevada? What Nevada?"
Reporter: *Fixes her hair, smiles, and turns to the camera* "And we're back on the fifth day of the tragic events of Emilio! The sun has just risen, and it seems that Emilio is on the move! Frank! Give us the low down from the borders of Nevada!"
Frank: "WELL, Pam." *The camera turns to him, since he is standing right next to her* "I'm here on the border of Nevada! It seems that Yuna and her guardians have found a way to keep the beast at bay!" *Gets hit in the head with a shoe* "WHO IS IT NOW?!"
Reporter: "THANKYOU, Frank." *Camera changes back to her, and she flashes a cheesy smile* "Yes. Fruitcake. Mounds and mounds of fruitcake are beginning to be placed along Nevada's borders, and it seems as if the Fiend Collar is straying away! Fletcher, give us the low down from the scene of the Fruitcake!"
Fletcher: *Is standing five feet away, where mounds of fruitcake is being dropped from helicopters* "Weeeeell… While mah man Auro was asleep he was approa'ched by a rabid fax machine."
Auron: *Is standing two feet away* *Looks at Fletcher funny* "His name was Don Juan."
Fletcher: "Aaaaaaaanyweh, in exchange for something, it would tell Auro what the weakness of dat coller ish."
Auron: *Goes into a hypnotic state* "The cowlick. It demanded the cowlick."
Reporter: *Pushes Auron off the spotlight* "Currently Congress is on the move with various hair products. Because… BREAKING NEWS!" *She grabs the piece of paper handed to her by Frank, then faints*
Frank: *Picks up the paper and read* "Breaking News: In the middle of the night Sir Wakka, Yuna's Guardian, was viciously attacked and in turn his cowlick was stolen. Some chemical reaction happened, and the cowlick was fed through a… Fax machine?"
Auron: *Somewhere off set* Don JUAN! Cunning… He's a cunning one…
Frank: *Continues reading* "The cowlick has grown to ENORMOUS proportions and is now en route to Nevada!" *Stops when he is hit with… Jelly like substances…. IMPLANTS?!*
Lulu: *Takes the mic calmly* "I want all of America to know that Georgy is here to fight Emilio. Wakka cannot comment at the moment since he is in a state of emotional stress…"
Yuna: "While we're waiting for Emilio to eat Nevada, which he is doing…" *Everyone turns to watch, and she plucks the mic* "Please buy my Boyfriend Manual! Breathing like you are on life support truly does wonders for the men!"
Reporter: "A HUGE CHUNK OF NEVADA IS MISSING! EMILIO HAS GOTTEN PAST THE FRUITCAKE!!!"
Lulu: "My push up bras are for sale as well."
Yuna: *Smiles* "And you know me!" *Nervous laugh* "Always ready to die for Spira!"
Fletcher: *While everyone has turned to watch Emilio devour Nevada* "I lost my puppet pig… MY PUPPET PIG!!! Filbeeeeeerrrrrt!!!"
*The song of CONGRESS is heard in the distance*
*Someone taps Yuna on the shoulder, and she turns, met with a dorky looking person with a platypus on their t-shirt.*
Person: "Hello, summoner Yuna. My name is Frederick. I am here with my society of Fredericks and Frederika's."
Frederick's and Frederika's: *In unison* "Hello Summoner Yuna."
Frederick #1: "We are an elite group of activists for the Platypi."
Frederika #1: *Giggles* "We live for the Platypi! Go Platypi Society of AMERICA!!"
Yuna: "…What can I do for you? If you'll excuse me, Nevada is being eaten by a huge collar…"
Frederick #2: "We rehearsed a song for you, Summoner Yuna!" *While the collar is finishing it's snack of Nevada*
Yuna: "That's…Nice…But I really do not have time at the moment…"
Platypi Society: "Dun… Dud u dud a!" *The begin to bob up and down, moving their arms too* "We love you Summoner Yuna, you make us feel free! We love you Summoner Yuna, you saved us, whee hee! We love you Summoner Yuna, we love you like our friends!" *Points to the Platypi on their shirts* "We love you Summoner Yuna, we love you Summoner Yuna, we love you Summoner Yuna, hoorah!" *They begin to do square dancing* "All because…"
*To the Green Acres theme:* "SpiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIra is the place to be! Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin livin' is the life for me! Land spreadin' out so far and wide, keep the fayth and just gimme this countryside!!!"
Frederika #100: "With YUUUUUUUUUUNA's where I'd rather be! Iiiiiiiiii've gotten so happy I gotta pee! I just ADORE her summoning ways, even though her hair's made of hay!"
Yuna: …. *Edges away*
The Platypi Society of America falls into the pit of Nevada and gets eaten.
The end.
PS – Don't ask, don't flame.