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Chapter 4: Out in the open
Severus could not believe what he had seen. His world was thrown upside down by this…unimaginable revelation. With a wave of his wand, his destroyed bookshelf was back to normal.
He fell down in his chair and filled a goblet with ice cold water before drinking it. He knew he shouldn't leave the boy alone after this, but he wanted to give Harry time, and also to himself, to get to know the situation.
James Potter's son.
Abused.
Lily's son.
His Lily's.
His first thought was to directly go to Dumbledore and let him deal with this, but he instantly discarded it.
'If the boy wanted to tell Dumbledore, he would have told him a long time ago.' He thought. He rubbed a hand over his face and groaned.
Why is it always him who gets landed in situations like these?
He took a few deep breaths before standing up. He saw Harry's wand lying beside his desk and summoned it, putting it in his pocket.
Once he was out of his office, he whipped out his own wand and muttered:
"Point me, Harry Potter."
/
Harry ran and ran and ran and ran. His first instinct was to run out of the castle and hide himself in the Forbidden Forest, but he didn't think it was a wise idea considering a blood thirsty dark wizard was out looking for him. So, he ran to the Seventh floor and saw the Room of Requirement. He closed his eyes as he ran towards the door, pretty much like entering platform 9 ¾. The door opened on its own and closed as soon as Harry entered.
Harry stopped in the middle of the room and looked around. There was nothing in the room. Just a small fireplace which gave enough light for him to make out a huge window which extended from the floor to the ceiling and over looked the Forbidden Forest. He took harsh breaths as he made his way shakily towards the window and fell down in front of it.
Suddenly, he curled into a small ball and sobs wracked his small frame. He had no idea what he was crying for.
Was it the fact that Snape now knew and he would probably announce it in the Great Hall and everybody will have a good laugh at him?
Or was it the fact that now someone knew, even if it was Snape, and he didn't have to bear the pain alone?
He had the strongest urge to cut himself right now. He felt his robe pockets where he always kept the broken piece of Sirius' glass. He took it out and slashed his wrist not once, not twice, not thrice, but multiple times. Blood poured over the cream-colored rug that covered the whole floor. He instantly felt a relief wash over him, but it was short lived. The pain was too less.
Harry's sobs increased and he threw the glass away. All he wanted to do was die.
Voldemort.
Uncle Vernon.
And now Snape.
It was as if his life was playing this cruel joke with him which never seemed to end.
He heard the door to the room open and stilled.
"Potter?"
Harry's breathing hitched in his chest when he heard the silky voice of his Potion's Professor.
/
Snape's wand pointed toward the Room of Requirement and he frowned.
He had no idea what kind of room Potter must have imagined. He then closed his eyes and thought of Harry. To his surprise, a door knob appeared and Severus opened it.
It was a dark room. He could see a small figured curled up near the huge window in the faint glow of the fire. Harsh sobs met his ears and he winced. He was not at all prepared for this.
"Potter?" He called. The figure stilled.
He cautiously walked over towards the boy and contemplated whether to sit beside him or drag him out. He chose the first thing, however before he could do so, he saw a dark substance oozing out of the boy's hands. He quickly cast a lumos and gasped at the amount of blood coming out of Harry's hand.
He kneeled beside the boy who was looking at him fearfully and gently took his hands in his.
"What did you do, Potter?" He cursed himself for the harsh tone and Harry flinched before scurrying away.
"Do-don't come near me." He said.
"Potter, I need to heal you wounds." Severus said as he if was talking to a six-year old.
Harry was shocked at the compassion in Snape's voice.
"N-no. I'm fine." He stuttered out. "Leave me alone." He winced as it came out more as a plead less as a strong command.
Severus was determined not to leave the boy alone. He sat down in front of him, cross-legged, and gave Harry a challenging look.
"No." He said firmly.
Harry stared at him with red eyes and sniffed. Snape produced a clean handkerchief and handed it to him.
Harry skeptically looked at the piece of cloth before taking it with shaky hands and wiping his face.
"Harry, please let me heal your hands." Snape said in his most gentle voice.
Harry was sure that he was possessed by some kind of demon because the next thing he knew, he was holding out his hands for Snape to inspect.
Severus quickly vanished the boy's outer robe and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. It took almost all if his will power to not react to the bloody sight in front of him.
"Are you wearing a glamour to hide more of these?" He asked in a controlled voice.
Harry didn't speak but his silence gave Severus the answer he needed.
"Finite Incantatem." He muttered and watched as thin red and pink lines made confusing maps on Harry's both the wrists.
Severus was a certified healer, so he knew many healing spells, but also knew that the boy was emotionally and magically drained due to the glamour charm and had lost a lot of blood, so using much magic on him will surely be harmful.
He cast a mild healing charm and conjured bandages to wrap them around the wounds.
"Do your friends know?" He asked as he worked.
"No." Harry said hoarsely. Severus nodded as he worked.
"Why didn't you tell them?"
Harry didn't answer and looked away.
"Does Dumbledore know?" Severus already knew the answer, but he still asked.
"No." Harry whispered.
"You should have told him instead of suffering so much in the hands of those vile creatures." Severus scolded as he finished bandaging one wrist and moved on to the other.
"He would still stick the blood wards story on me and would make me go back." It seemed that Harry had gained some of his self- control back and was looking at Snape working.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" Snape asked.
Harry looked at him and bit his bottom lip.
"You won't tell the others?" He asked in disbelief.
Severus snorted as he finished with Harry's other hand.
"Why, pray tell, will I tell anyone else what happens in your life? Although you, should definitely have told someone." He gave Harry a piercing look.
"I thought you would announce it all over the school." Harry whispered.
"I might be many things Potter, but I am not heartless. I do not take the issue of bullying and abuse as a matter to be sneezed at, you of all people should know that." Severus said, referring to the pensive incident.
"I apologized for that." Harry said and sniffed.
"And as much as I hated to do it, I forgave you." Severus replied equally.
"I don't understand." Harry said after a while. Severus waited for him to continue. "Why are you doing this?"
"I told you Potter, I am not heartless." Severus said and looked at Harry's gaunt face. "We will have to go to Madame Pomfrey."
Harry fearfully looked at Severus and frantically shook his head.
"No."
"Potter-"
"NO. I don't want anyone to see anything." He said. Panic overtook him and his breathing came out in gasps.
"Breathe, Potter. Remember those techniques that I taught you. Breathe." Severus said calmly as he put a hand on Harry's chest.
Harry got his breathing under control and noticed that he was holding Snape's hand over his chest. He quickly let go.
"We also need to tell Albus." Severus stated.
"There is no point. He will still make me go back, I told you." Harry said and tears welled in his emerald eyes.
'Lily's eyes.' Severus thought.
"And even if he takes me out of there, I have nowhere else to go. It's just one summer, then I'll be 17, and find myself a place." Harry said and swiped a hand over his eyes.
"I refuse to let you spend even one more minute with that bastard of an Uncle that you have." Severus said angrily. "17 or not, you cannot leave that place before you defeat the Dark Lord."
Harry's eyes snapped at him.
"Where will I go? The Burrow? I cannot put the Weasleys' lives in danger. Hermione's parents are muggles, that rules them out." Harry said. "I don't have a bloody home except Hogwarts!" He cried.
"Calm down, Potter. We will figure something out." Severus said.
"I don't want to speak with Dumbledore right now." Harry said after a while.
"Do you want me to speak with him?" Severus offered.
"Thank you." Harry said and nodded his head before gazing out of the window.
"You realize that you will have to face him sometime." Severus said.
"I know."
"You will have to talk to your friends too."
"I know."
"And your Head of House, of course."
"I know."
Severus leaned back on his hands and studied the boy.
"How long?" He asked him.
"Depends on what you are asking about." Harry sighed.
"Your Uncle."
"2 maybe 3 years ago." Harry whispered. "He always threw me around from the start, but he never fully…"
"And the cutting?"
Harry gulped painfully before answering. "Af-after Sirius…"
A lone tear escaped his eye and he wiped it on his shoulder.
"You haven't eaten. You were missing at dinner and breakfast, and barely touched your plate at lunch." Severus observed.
"I wasn't hungry." Came the reply.
"The whole week?"
"Why were you spying on me?" Harry narrowed his eyes at him. Severus raised an eyebrow at him.
"Come, let's get you back to the Gryffindor tower." Severus said and stood up.
"I think I will sit here for a while." Harry said and looked out of the glass window.
"Absolutely not. It's the tower, or to Dumbledore's office with me. I will not have you alone just to let you indulge in such self- harming activities." Severus said firmly.
"You don't understand. It helps." Harry whispered.
"Oh believe me Potter, I do understand." Severus said roughly.
Harry suddenly looked at him and then at his Professor's hands.
"You too…?" He asked.
Severus snorted.
"Lord no, Potter. I never resorted to such self-ruinous behavior in my time as a volatile teenager. But then again, my life was different from yours." He said. Harry nodded slowly.
"Then how do you understand?" He asked.
"That, Potter, is a story for another time." Severus' voice took a rough edge as he spoke, as if it cost him a lot to even refer to whatever had happened.
He extended a hand towards him to help him stand up.
"Come."
Harry looked at the hand before slowly taking it and standing up.
"My bag and my wand…" Harry said as he searched his back pocket for his wand.
Severus took it out of his robe pocket and handed it to the boy.
"Next time, try not to run off anywhere without your wand, Potter. I will send your bag upstairs." He said. His sharp eyes suddenly caught something shining behind Harry and he moved to pick it up.
"That's mine…" Harry said and tried to grab it from Snape's hand. But Snape was faster than him.
"Not anymore. I am confiscating it." He said and dropped it into one of his million pockets in his robe.
"But-" Harry started.
"No discussion, Potter." Snape said sternly.
Harry huffed but nodded.
The walk towards Gryffindor Common Room was a silent one. Fortunately for Harry, no one was in the halls as it was after curfew.
Snape stood outside the portrait door and gestured Harry to go in.
"My friends would be awake…" He said and looked at his bandaged hands and blood covered white shirt. Severus' one wave of wand cleared his robe and shirt and another made the bandages disappear.
"I will also send a salve with your bag. I expect you to put it on all your injuries. At least the ones that you can reach." He said and pinned Harry with a stare.
"Yes sir." Harry said and turned towards the portrait. He stopped again and this time, he didn't hesitate to speak.
"Sir?" He turned around. Snape gave him a questioning look. "Thank you." Harry poured all of his gratitude in those two words.
"Sleep well, Potter." Severus nodded and watched as Harry entered the Common Room. After the portrait door closed behind him, Severus pivoted on his heels, and with a swish of his robes, disappeared down the stairs to Dumbledore's office.
/
"Harry! Where were you?" Hermione asked him as soon as he entered the Common Room.
"We were about to go and call McGonagall, thinking that Snape had mangled your body for some potion." Ron said.
Harry actually snorted at that.
"He…uh…kept me for a while. Walked me back actually." Harry said and sat down in one of the armchairs.
"He walked you back? Is that some new kind of torture that he has established?" Ron said with wide eyes.
"Ron, really." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Harry," She called her friend who was staring into the fire. "Where's your bag?"
Harry looked at her and racked his tired brain to find an answer.
"I left it at Snape's." He said helplessly.
"Why?" She asked him oddly.
"I don't know." Harry said and stood up. "I'm tired. Occlumency took a lot out of me."
Hermione and Ron looked at him with strange gazes as he walked up the stairs of Gryffindor towers.
"What's wrong with him?" Hermione asked, mostly to herself.
"Well, he was with Snape for the past few hours…" Ron shrugged and then winced as Hermione's hard hand connected with his shoulder.
/
"I want him removed from there, Albus!" Severus thundered. He had explained everything he had seen to the old man and was annoyed to no end when all Albus did was put up a calming hand.
"Severus, I can understand your worries. I am worried myself. I want to speak with Harry before I come to any conclusion." He said.
"You don't believe me?" Severus narrowed his eyes at Albus. "You think I make this up for fun?!" He asked him angrily.
"Severus, don't make any assumptions. Of course, I believe you. I need to speak with Harry so that I can discuss with him the next course of action. It saddens me to no limit that he never told me about this." Albus said sadly.
"Well then do something about it and get him out of there. Those muggles should rot in Azkaban." Severus gritted out
"It's not that easy, Severus. I will have to find a place for him first." Albus said.
"He can stay at Hogwarts." Severus said instantly.
"He is not 17 till next summer. If I take him out of his relatives' house, they will no longer be his guardians. The ministry requires every child below the age of 17 to have a guardian, if Harry Potter doesn't have one, it will raise unwanted questions. And this is not the time for such things, the war is upon us, Harry needs all the support he can get." Albus explained calmly.
"So you won't take him out if there? Instead, you will make the savior of the whole Wizarding World suffer at the hands of a few muggles. Are you even listening to yourself?!" Severus hissed.
"Severus, it has been a long day. You need your rest, and I need to think about all of this." Albus said tiredly. "I will speak with Harry soon. You may come too, if you wish."
"If Potter wants, I will make my presence known." Severus said and stood up. "Lupin is here now, he can take the guardianship too. Don't let him go back, Albus. Don't break him anymore than he already is. I am afraid you won't be able to gather the pieces to fix him back." Severus said and looked at Albus before turning and leaving.
Albus sighed and put his head in his hands.
"Oh Merlin, what have I done?" He said to himself. "I am sorry I couldn't care for him, Lily. I am sorry, James."
A/N: Hope it was good!
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