Hi everyone! So sorry for the late update, crazy crazy things happened. Anyway, chapter 4 is up and some parts will be told from Meredith's POV. Hope you all like it!

Joe's

The interns are planning to get drunk tonight at the bar as usual. Drown their sorrows and exhaustion in bitter tasting liquids and dirty peanuts. Of course Meredith was getting drunk for very different reasons.

"He's staying with her." Meredith said, her face somber as weather in Seattle. "I said pick me, choose me, love me right? I really said those? I held a bomb in my hand, I could have died and still he's more worried about her."

"Well, she's his wife." Alex thought aloud but not expecting a glare from Izzie who mouths, "Whose side are you on?" Alex just shrugged.

"How could he choose her over me? He said she's out of his life, she means nothing to him anymore. What happened? Anyone know what happened?" Meredith rambled on.

"Men. Men happened. Root of all evil." Christina said.

"But really Mer, you deserve better. Really, there is someone out there for you. Who's dreamier than him and not married."

"I don't think there's anyone that can be dreamier than him. He's the one for me and he's married. I just have to deal with it."

"Good for you." George encouraged her. They all knew George has a thing for Meredith except Meredith. Izzie thinks George and Meredith will make a good couple. He's a really nice and sweet guy. Only Meredith doesn't seem interested. Yes, Izzie is sad for George.

"I don't see what McDreamy sees in her." Christina questions.

"She's McHot." Alex replied.

"McYeah, she is." George agreed.

"Joe, more tequila please."

"Yes to that please!"

They got drunk that night, ridiculously mind-numbingly drunk. It felt really good.

Meredith hasn't been this hung over before. Never. Tequila shots after shots last night left her head aching so bad. She liked it though. Not that she's a masochist but the ache in her head was much better than the ache she was feeling in her chest. At least the head ache distracted her from any other pain she was feeling. If she wasn't dragged out of bed by Christina, she wouldn't have gone to work this morning. She wasn't ready to see him and her. Just the thought is making her unwell. She walked the hallways with Christina and Izzie, thinking that this will definitely be a bad day.

"I hate the trailer, Derek! Hate it, we should just blow it up. Kaboom!" Addison said as she and Derek stepped out of the elevator.

"But I love the trailer, babe. I'll even cook trout for you tonight." Derek said as he instinctively out his hand at the small of her back and smiled that dreamy smile she hasn't quite seen before.

Scratch that, Meredith thought. This is the worst day. Derek looked like well Derek. Dreamy and handsome. But there was something about his aura today that made Meredith's insides recoil. It has been just one night since he chose her and already he looks happy and contented.

Cafeteria

"We should do something about this."

"No baking, Izzie." Christina warned.

"Okay, no baking so what? She's very miserable and seeing them together everyday will not help."

"She'll get through this. I mean, she's dark and twisty after all. She has her ways of coping. We just need to be there for her until she's fine."

"Hey!" Derek greeted his wife, kissing her cheek.

"Hey!"

"My patient Kendra Thomas, she's brain dead. Her parents wanna keep her alive to have her baby."

"So you want me to talk to the parents."

"Well, I tried already but I think since you're neonatal you might have a better shot. I think you'd give them a much detailed explanation."

"I'll do it."

"Mr and Mrs. Thomas, Dr. Shepherd asked me to talk to you about your daughter and her pregnancy."

"We've made up our mind, she's having her baby." Mr. Thomas said sternly.

"I know, Kendra meant the world to you and the terrible grief you must be going through. But from a medical standpoint, this is a very bad idea."

"Well, if we wanted your opinion miss, we'd ask for it."

"It's just we love our daughter. Please try to understand."Mrs. Thomas said, looking so sad and vulnerable.

"I do understand, I do. You think if you love her enough or love her baby enough that it'll keep her close to you but she's already gone and if you move forward with this you're risking a lot of things. She can contract an infection, it could pass on to the fetus and cause brain damage."

"We're taking our chances!"

"They keep organ donors alive after they're gone why not Kendra?"

"Organ donors are kept alive for six months. Your daughter is brain dead, she can't regulate body temperature, hormone output these things are very important for a fetus."

"You guys can regulate that stuff right?"

"We could try."

"Well then try, damn it! What the hell's the problem?"

"The problem here is I see it you want to use your daughter's corpse as an incubator! That's the problem!"

"Addie,please. Sir, calm down."

"I can't calm down! She has no right to say that!" He said making a move to shove Addison.

"Sir! Please don't do that." Derek said stepping between Mr. Thomas and Addison.

"Who are you to say what I can and can't do?"

"My wife is just trying to help you, sir. Please listen to her, keeping Kendra alive is a bad idea."

"Get out, get out now!"

As soon as Derek and Addison were out of the room she spoke up, "What are we going to do? If they really want to keep her alive can we do something to stop them?"

"I just hope they decide against it after all that you said."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For what you did back there. Taking my side, I kind of felt like you're going to shove him back if he did shove me."

"I would. You know I'll always protect you." He smiled at her before taking her hand and walking off.

Meredith thought her day could not get any worse. But as they say, when you think it's too much other people think otherwise. All she wanted to do was go home. It didn't matter that she'll be sleeping alone, at least she won't see them together.

She was near the elevator when she heard them. She wanted nothing but the elevator doors to open but it didn't. So like the girl who had just gotten her heart broken she couldn't not look at them. when she did, she couldn't turn her head the other way around.

Derek had his arm around her waist. His hand laying on the edge of the counter. His chin resting on her shoulder as she was looking at a patient's chart. He's smiling that smile at her again. She said something making him laugh then he whispered something in her ear that made her smile and look up at him. She knew what was coming next when suddenly the elevator doors opened and she had a reason to look away and not see them kiss.

When Meredith laid down in bed she thought of his smile. That particular smile she saw him gave Addison twice today, then reality checked in with her as she realized that it was his smile for Addison. Even before she came in Seattle, he would never smile that way to her. He smiled that smile for his wife, only Addison. At that point Meredith couldn't do anything but sob her way to sleep.

That was a little dramatic. Please click that button, I'd love to hear what you guys think.