4
Naruto POV
"Alright, kid." The photographer sets up his camera, aiming it at Naruto. "You sure you want this as your pic? I don't think the hokage will approve of what you're doing."
"Yep! I'm super sure! Snap me at this angle!" He says, striking a pose. The old man sighs, as Naruto strikes all kinds of epic poses. All of them look fake, but who is he to judge? This is just a job to him. Naruto flashes him a thumbs-up and throws a bag of ryo at him. He catches it, as the blond brat is out before he can even blink.
Naruto sits at a chair, as the hokage faces him at the opposite side of his desk.
"This is yours?" Sarutobi asks, holding up his picture while simultaneously smoking a pipe. Naruto nods numbly. "Yeah! It took me, like, three hours or something! It's like an art project on my face! Except ten times cooler! Heh heh!" He says cheekily, and the hokage sighs.
"No way we're accepting this photo." Naruto sputters. "Hey! I'm not doing it again! I used up all my money this week!"
Hiruzen and Naruto have a staring contest and Naruto growls.
"Aaa! Transform!" He shouts as his last hope, forming the seal and transforming into a girl. "Pretty please, lord hokage~?" she asks in a sing song voice. Sarutobi blinks. He screams, as a blood shoots out of his nose, drowning the room of excess blood. He holds his nose and recollects himself.
Naruto nervously laughs, as he turns back into himself. Someone is outside of their door.
"The sexy jutsu, you say? That's very tricky. Where did you learn it?"
"Taught it myself!" He says with a smile.
"Well, don't do it again. Also, where's that headband of yours? A ninja must wear one at all times."
"Oh, right. That. Maybe at the orientation. Not now." He waves a hand dismissively.
"That's irrelevant. Your picture is used for trainings and all sorts of things. Why waste it to look like a class clown?"
"But, it's so complicated! Yeah, I look like a laughing stock! So what? Do you know the process I went through? It's so complex! Plus, I'm broke!"
Konohamaru is holding onto a star.
"ALRIGHT! I CHALLENGE YOU!" the little kid shouts, kicking the door open.
"I'll defeat you and become the fifth hokage!" he charges at Sarutobi, but trips in over himself.
He lands face-first into the floor.
'My grandson. Another headache.' Sarutobi thinks to himself. 'What a shrimp,' Naruto thinks out loud, 'and not the tempura kind, either.'
"Are you alright? Are you hurt, hokage's grandson?" Sarutobi's advisor asks, helping him up. He looks at the blond and almost chokes on thin air. 'It's that kid! The Nine Tails. What a troublemaker.'
"ALRIGHT!" Konohamaru points a finger at Naruto. "You tripped me, didn't you?" Naruto gets mad, and pulls him 'round the scarf. "THAT'S IT! You tripped over yourself, brat!"
"Get your hands off of him, boy!" the advisor shouts at them to stop. "That's the hokage's grandson!"
'Heh. Now that he knows who I am, he won't do a thing,' Konohamaru thinks triumphantly.
"What's the matter, huh? I thought you were gonna hit me, tough guy? Afraid that my grandpa's gonna expel you or somethin'?" Naruto gets mad again. This can't end well.
"I don't care who you are!" Naruto punches him on the head and Konohamaru crashes to the ground again.
'This isn't looking good,' Sarutobi thinks, as the advisor is in a state of shock of such nonsense.
"Don't fight him. He's so beneath you, hokage's grandson." The advisor tries, as a voice of reason, "he's not on your level. Don't waste time with that brat. I'm one of the best. I'll teach you how to be hokage someday. When I do, you'll see who's worthy or not. Trust me." Lost in his monologue, he doesn't notice that Konohamaru's dissapeared without a trace.
"WHERE'D HE GO, NOW?" The advisor sputters. "Who knows? He's probably fighting with Naruto as we speak," Sarutobi says calmly. He's getting too old for this, he thinks. It would be nice if he had a replacement sooner or later. "Aaa! I GOTTA GO RIGHT AWAY!" The man with the sunglasses says, already out the door as he's running off. 'Hmm. How'd he grow up into THAT thing. Makes me wonder who his parents were. As for my grandson,' he says, signing his signature onto a D-rank mission. 'let's hope he doesn't get into too much trouble with that Uzumaki. Lord knows what will happen with those two.'
'He wouldn't teach him anything bad now, would he?'
Meanwhile,
Naruto was walking along the streets of Konoha. He turns around when he hears shuffling behind him. "Hmm?" he doesn't see anything and continues walking, "hmm."
Under a sheet, Konohamaru sneaks up on him. At the end of his rope, he follows after Naruto. The Uzumaki spins around and points at the gate. "I know you're there! Stop creeping up on me! It's getting on my nerves!" Sighing, Konohamaru shoves it off of himself. "It's so obvious," Naruto crosses his arms, "I knew it was you the whole time."
"Guess you got me. You're good! You saw through my disguise! Hey, teach me stuff! I wanna do a sexy jutsu, too! The one you did to gramps!"
"You sure this isn't a joke?" Naruto asks, grumbling to himself about little kids. Konohamaru grumbles. "Please be my trainer? I'll do anything!" He pleads with big black eyes. "Boss!"
"Boss?"
"Yeah, you're my boss, boss! I'll do anything you want!"
"Ok, sure."
"If you wanna be a ninja, you gotta learn to control your catra!" he says, stating the obvious.
Konohamaru stops walking. 'Like a...cat?'
"Chakra?" he repeats faintly. "Yep, you heard me right!"
"Naw, you mean the elemental life energy we use to perform jutsus?" he says, repeating the definition from one of his grandfather's texts.
"Eh?"
"Chakra, the ability to use energies within our bodies, which gets stronger after years of experience and training. Once two types of elements are mixed, you can perform any kind of jutsu! It's advanced, too!" he says, snapping the book with a shut.
"HEY! You were just reciting the whole thing!" Naruto snaps
"Blab all you want about ninja techniques, but the real deal is that there's one thing."
"What is it?"
"You gotta work for it!" he says, as if scolding the child.
"I'm with you!" Konohamaru says, full of merit.
"Great, this is gonna be a challenge. So, listen closely."
"Ok, boss!"
"Good, then let's get started!"
"Show me a transformation!" Naruto says, pumping a fist into the air. Confused, Konohamaru looks up at him. "Show me what you can do and I'll take you to the next level."
"Sure, but what can I transform into?" Konohamaru asks, unsure of himself now. Naruto looks around for anything in sight, and has his eyes set on an attractive woman in a kimino. "That one!" He points to her all subtle-like. Konohamaru nods. He performs the seal and poofs into a woman. Except, she's now all big and bloated.
"Heh heh, it could use a little work. It's...uh...it's OK."
"THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ME!" The same woman shouts, walking over to Konohamaru, and says in a sickly sweet voice, "Maybe the next time you transform into me, try to make me look a little cuter, OK? Buh-bye!" she walks off and the two stare off after her, surprised. "She's...scary!"
"But, I was the one that was whacked!" whined the blonde.
"Alright, next we do research on female anatomy!" Naruto declares, walking with Konohamaru to a different section in town.
"Female anatomy, boss! Sweet!"
The two walk into the store.
He grabs a hentai of a woman half-naked. They drool.
"THIS ISN'T ALLOWED TO YOU YOUNGSTERS, NARUTO!" The shop clerk says behind them. The duo squeaks. And make a run for it.
"OK, so maybe that one didn't work out. But, this is our last stop for today!" Naruto says, as they stop outside of the girl's locker room. He's got a black eye.
They both turn into females and enter inside, only for them to kick them out again. "NARUTO, YOU'RE NOT A GIRL! GET OF HERE, SCRAM! BEAT IT!" they yell.
He groans. Everyone just really wants to whack him today.
Right now, they're in the forest.
"I'm sorry, boss," Konohamaru says sadly, "it's all of my fault. If it weren't for me being the honorable grandson of the hokage, then they would hurt me, too. They treat me so differently. All because of a title, I'm all high and mighty. It's unfair." He crosses his arms, looking down sullenly.
"Cheer up, kiddo! You're just practicing! You'll get better if you put your mind to it! Believe it!" He says with a thumbs-up, and Konohamaru blinks.
"Alright, boss!" he salutes with a grin. "Try to make your transformation curvy in all the right places!" (I kid you not, this is actually what he said in the dub)
Konohamaru POOFs! and turns into an obese, half-naked women thing. Sure, she's got the panties and the bra, but still...
"That's not skinny!" Naruto shouts back with a puffy face. "How's this? Ooo, like it? Is this curvy enough?" Konohamaru asks as he transforms in and out.
Meanwhile...
The advisor is back, sitting on the head of the hokage and scouting the area. 'Naruto! Where did they go? I'm the highest ninja level; a jounin! I should be able to spot them! He'll squash the competition!" He then hops off with some chakra to his disposal.
Naruto opens a can of soda. He drinks, as they sit on a log. "So, what's up with your grandfather?" he can't help, but ask. Konohamaru's eyes widen and narrows at the thought.
"He named me after the ancient name of the village. It'd be easier to remember that way." he looks at his lap, feeling down, "but, not one person calls me that, ever. They never look at me and not think 'the hokage's grandson.' They just see what I'm worth. No one knows who I am. They never bother to look, anyways. I'm so invisible! I can't stand it!" He looks up at Naruto. "I hate feeling like I don't exist at all! It's the worst! I've gotta be the hokage someday so that they'll know who I am!"
Naruto looks at him with empathy. He knows that feeling exactly. Wishing people could actually see him. But, no, they never do. He wants that honor, of being useful to someone. "Look," he begins, phrasing each word carefully, "if you're a squirt, you'll never get their attention. Believe me, I know, because I've been there. Sensei taught me how he used to prank others just like me. Turns out, it never works. At all. If you're a class clown, you'll never become a shinobi. That's just how it works around here."
"A kid can't become the hokage in just a day. It's impossible." He tells Konohamaru, who's startled and angry. "HEY!"
"Really, it's not that simple," Naruto explains, "if you want to become the hokage you'll have to...
...Beat me in battle!" he challenges, with an overconfident smirk.
Konohamaru blinks.
The hokage is waiting at the balcony. It's a bright, sunny day. Which means Konoha is awake, too.
"HOKAGE!" He doesn't turn around to even know who it is. It's Iruka.
"I've been looking for you." Iruka says, after a breath, "it's about Naruto."
'Of course,' Sarutobi thinks, 'isn't everything about Naruto?'
"What did he do this time?" he asks, smoking his pipe.
"It's his ID photo." Sarutobi hums in acknowledgement. "Y'know, I lectured him the other day. About changing who he is. And saying how he won't let others look down at him, now." Sarutobi looks at the Fourth's, Minato's, face carved in stone.
"His dream is almost...impossible. It'll be a challenge to rule over the village with the Nine-Tailed Fox. The one legend that children are forbidden to know about. He'll be accepted if they don't know. The Fourth sacrificed himself for all of us to live. He wanted Naruto to be regarded as the future hero of the village."
"A hero?" Iruka asks. The hokage nods. "Mmm. Minato sealed the demon's spirit into the newborn baby known as Naruto. It was the only way to protect our village. In return, he died for the sake of Konoha. Even so, the villagers don't understand what trully conspired that day. They believe he is the reason they are all doomed. They lost their parents, so they believed they had their rights to lash out at the Namikazes' offspring. It was the wrong thing to do."
"Naruto was never adopted. He was abandoned at birth, so I did everything within my power to protect him. I used his parent's pay to buy him a small house, enough to last him a few years until he was old enough to live on his own. The point is, it all turned cold. Naruto lost hope as he grew up. Others feared that he might one day turn into the very thing they hated. Others thought he was the beast. And they betrayed him.
Meanwhile...
"There you are!" the advisor says, jumping from tree to tree to reach Naruto and Konohamaru.
"Time to go home, honorable grandson." he says, but Konohamaru shakes his head. "Nuh-uh! I wanna train with Naruto! I want to get the title of hokage! So, don't you dare get in our way!" He shouts, clenching his fists with clenched teeth. The advisor smiles, advancing toward the brat. "Who're you kidding? You don't even know one jutsu. You don't have enough wisdom to reign as the honorable." Konohamaru glares daggers at him, performing a seal.
The advisor gasps.
A brunette woman forms in a steam of smoke. "Hi, there, cutie~! You likie?" The man is shell-shocked. Konohamaru transforms back into himself. "Hey! How come he isn't defeated, yet?"
"I - I AM FAR ABOVE YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! I WON'T FALL FOR YOUR TRICKS!" The advisor (assistant? attendant?) sputters, pulling him by the scarf. Konohamaru fights back. "Stop this, right now! You're turning into a delinquent! Only my special teaching will help you become the hokage someday!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Shadow clone jutsu!" Naruto forms clones all around him.
"WHOA! THIS IS UNREAL!" Konohamaru says in awe. "Hmph. I'm not like the traitor Mizuki. This is nothing," he walks toward the clones.
The hokage watches through the crystal ball. 'You can do it, boss!' Konohamaru silently cheers throughout his mindscape.
The clones turn into sexy women.
Everyone sweatdrops.
The advisor screams, as a harem of ladies surround him. He gets a nosebleeds and blasts off once again like Team Rocket. He's knocked out for good measure.
'Argh. So foolish. Using a technique like that with his own invention. I must say, he got me, too,' Sarutobi thinks, tipping his hat.
"Aw, man! Why can't I be as cool as you, Naruto! I'll never be the hokage at this rate!" complains Konohamaru. "You have to prove yourself to become the greatest nin ever. You need people to believe in you. I mean, look at me. I was always treated like the plague or somethin'. After all of that, I finally found someone who believes in me." Naruto admits after awhile, "you'd better make sure that you're ready. To become the hokage someday. For lots of sweat. Blood. And tears. While you're learning to be a ninja."
The wind rustles the trees, and the sun is setting after a long day.
"It's not easy, believe it." Naruto says with a foxy grin like the chesire cat.
He walks off with hands in his pockets.
Sarutobi smiles.
'At last, the day a boy becomes a man. One day, Naruto. You'll be a better hokage than an old man like me,' he smiles, looking at his crystal ball.
END OF SECOND EPISODE
(see the third in the story, not the prequel. this fic only contains all two episodes.)