Disclaimer: As the last, this chapter is inspired by Psycotic Gothic Chick's ideas. Thank you PGC!!
Recap: Jaken reluctantly agrees to take the initiation Hina has setup for him. After a "soothing" acupuncture treatment, he is left dazed and confused from pain, allowing Hinata and Hanabi to get his hair and nails redone. Afterwards, the gang runs into Ino who Hinata proclaims is "just the person" she needs . . . What's going to happen when Ino's expertise is added with Hina's brain?
"Oh, hey, Hinata," Ino greeted. "You were looking for me?" She saw Jaken slightly behind Hanabi. "What in the world is that abomination?" she shrieked.
"W-well, that's what we n-needed help on," Hinata began. "Y-you see, she is our new n-neighbor, but thinks she's a boy by t-the name of Kionu Jaken!"
"I can see why she thinks that!" Ino said. "That is one ugly girl!"
"I-I was t-thinking that maybe you could . . . y-you know, if y-you're not too busy . . ."
"Say no more! This is an absolute fashion disaster! There is no way I could ever ignore a girl in need! When I'm through, this girl will realize what she is immediately!" Flames of youth blazed in Ino's eyes.
Hinata was a bit taken aback. Oh dear. She hoped Ino wouldn't turn into Lee after this encounter. The thought of Ino having bushy eyebrows and wearing a green jumpsuit was just . . . wrong. No, she decided, it wouldn't happen.
"Well, let's get started!"
Fire Four – The Initiation – Ino Style
Jaken groaned in pain. His eyes were still watery from the acupuncture treatment and he still couldn't register what was going on around him. "Ah-ooooo-uuuuuuuuh."
Ino clucked in sympathy. "What a case. What a case! You can obviously tell this kid is in pain because of her denial. Just look at those watery eyes! She's practically crying in misery!" She turned to Hinata. "Don't worry, when we're done, she'll be aaaaaaall better!"
Hinata decided she didn't like the excited grin on Ino's face. It was almost as evil as the one she wore when no one was looking. 'Note to self: Never, ever, ask Ino for assistance in any personal matters in the future . . . unless it's to torture someone.'
"I-Ino-chan, I was thinking, m-maybe we could, you know, get s-some new c-clothes for her!"
"Excellent idea, Hinata!" Ino agreed. "But first, we should put some make-up on her! Maybe that will bring her to her feminine senses!"
Hinata grinned in her head. This was great!! She hadn't even thought about adding make up! Boy, was she glad she invited Ino!
"Y-yes, let's do it after though. H-his, I mean, her clothes are a b-bit, tattered."
Ino surveyed Jaken who was still in la-la land. "You're right! I know the perfect place! I get all my clothes there! Wait until you see it Hinata! We might even be able to get you something new too! I mean that ridiculously oversized jacket you're wearing!"
"Um, Ino-chan?" Hinata interrupted. "W-wouldn't it be easier t-to bring Jaken-kun . . . chan, to her s-senses if w-we dressed her in something she l-likes?"
"Hm. That's not a bad idea." She sighed. "Alright, alright. What does she like?"
"W-well, I recall her t-telling me that she is f-fond of . . ." Hinata trailed and blushed from supposed embarrassment.
"Well? A fan of what?" Ino asked, now eager.
Hinata whispered something.
"What? I can't hear you?"
"Ehem. L-Lolita."
Ino covered her mouth. "No."
"Uh-huh." Hinata nodded. "You heard too, r-right, Hanabi-chan?"
"Yup," Hanabi smirked in agreement.
Ino tried to suppress a snicker . . . but failed. "What a weirdo! A girl who thinks she's a boy and likes Lolita! Man! Well, I know the perfect place! Let's go!"
And so, the quartet headed off to a commercial center of Konoha until they arrived at a shop called "Lolita for Mary-Sues."
"This is the perfect place for all your Lolita needs!" a clerk yelled as they walked in.
"Yeah, put a sock in it," Ino stated. "Come on Hinata, let me pick out some things! You too Hanabi!"
And so, the trio figuratively ransacked the store from top to bottom while the still delirious Jaken lay face down on the floor where they dropped him. After days of searching . . . I mean, a few minutes, they each had the "perfect" outfit.
"I say we use this!" Hanabi perked. She held up a gothic outfit, similar to that of Misa from Death Note.
"Hanabi, have you been reading that manga again?" Hinata narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Father put that on the blacklist after you began plotting in a black notebook to have some of the elders killed . . ."
"O-of course not! What makes you say that!" Hanabi yelled, flustered.
"Anyway," Ino put in, "that doesn't work. It obviously clashes with the psychedelic aura surrounding his, er, her hair and nails. I recommend this."
In her hands, she held a pink dress with white lace and ruffles, red flower imprints, and pink bows all over.
Hinata's eyes sparkled as she threw what she was holding over her shoulder.
("Hey!" the clerk screamed as it was flung over her head.)
"Ino! T-that's marvelous! I'm sure she'll love it! D-don't you Jaken?" Hinata looked around. "Jaken?" She used her byakugan and found him lying on the floor near the entrance. "Oops!" Hurrying towards him, she bent down. "Do you like this?" she pointed to the pink dress in Ino's hands.
"Uuuuuuh," Jaken groaned in pain.
Ino scrutinized him. "I think she's saying uuuuuuuh-huuuuuuuh. Yeah, uh-huh! She's saying she likes it! High five Hinata! You two Hanabi!"
The three exchanged congratulations then picked up Jaken and shoved him in a mirror-less dressing room with the dress.
Hinata called over the door, "Change into that, okay?"
A muffled groan was heard as the still dazed boy started changing into whatever it was that was thrown at him. It's a good thing, for Hina, that he didn't notice, or else she and Ino might have had to gather some manly assistance – the clerk – to force him into it.
A few minutes later, Jaken walked out.
Hanabi and Hinata suppressed snickers.
"Oh how colorful you are!" Ino squealed. "Here's some socks with matching pink roses and some pink shoes to go with it!" She thrust them into Jaken's arms and ushered him into wearing them. "Wonderful! Now, let's take her to a saloon to get some make-up on that boyish face!"
Hinata nodded her head as she followed Ino and Jaken, who was now wearing a pink and white dress, socks and shoes, had funky rainbow nails with pictures like Naruto and Sasuke and kittens on them, and psychedelic hair in Temari's style.
As it turned out, the saloon just happened to be next door! How convenient! So, Jaken was promptly thrust – he seems to be doing that a lot, huh? – onto a chair and faced away from the vanity mirror.
"Well, stylist," Ino began, "this girl here is just delirious!"
"Hm, I can tell," the stylist commented, looking at Jaken's wasted expression.
"She thinks she's a boy! Can you imagine that!" Ino ranted. "We need you to help fix up her face a bit to put her in her senses! What do you think? Can you do it!"
"Can I? What can't I do! That's the question!" the stylist said. She began applying foundations and gunk all over Jaken's face while ranting. "Hmm. I think the blush should be pink. No, no. Too much pink. What with that dress and all. How about magenta? Yes. And eye shadow! Well, we'll need something to match that abomination you call your hair! A mix of colors! Some yellows and greens and blues. Oh, why not some purple and pink while we're at it! Now for the lips! I see you have quite the exotic flair! I'm talking about your hair again, of course! You seem to have a fondness for color, so instead of one, how about I give you some multi-color lipstick!"
"A-all of this is long-lasting, r-right?" Hinata asked. "A-and waterproof?"
Ino looked at Hinata questioningly.
"W-we don't want her t-to r-ruin all y-your hard work, d-do we?" she explained.
"You're right!" Ino exclaimed.
"Don't worry!" the stylist assured. "I'm the best of the best! And so are my materials! This stuff will last until you use the right remover! I'll give you a bottle! Here!" Hinata took it for safe-keeping.
The stylist concentrated back on Jaken, who by this time, was beginning to get a hold of himself, again. "How about primary colors on top, secondary on the bottom? Hm? How does that sound?" She didn't wait for a reply when she started smearing on the lipstick. "Next we'll add some sparkling lip gloss to give it a nice glow! Ah, perfect! We're all done!" The stylist said proudly. She turned the chair around to face the mirror.
Jaken, now fully conscious, stared at himself in shock. Rainbow hair. Rainbow bangs. Four rainbow pigtails. Rainbow eyelids, eyebrows, eyelashes, lips. Purple cheeks. He looked down. He was wearing a pink dress with frills! His nails were colorful and had pictures of girly thingsand boys on them! He looked back at the mirror and at his reflection again, taking a deep breath.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hinata smiled serenely as she put earplugs in her ears. Ah, revenge was sweet.
Next time: For the Love of Ramen
Omake
Orochimaru looked up from his throne. 'Is Konoha creating a new torture method? I've been hearing some quite chilling screams. I fear that there may be an evil mastermind in the making . . . one who may surpass my level of evilness! My snake senses are tingling! Who could it be?' He thought for a minute. "No," he concluded aloud, "no one can surpass my evilness! Ku ku ku."
A/N: Hee. Decided to add an omake just for fun. Anyway, I'd like to thank Chibi Kabuto, Xerxes93, Psycotic Gothic Chick, and SugarHappyBiChick for reviewing last chapter! Thank you!
Again, if anyone has any ideas for Jaken, please don't hesitate to comment! This fic can't move forward without more pranks!
The dress Jaken is wearing was something that came up when I googled Lolita. If you want to see what it looks like, image google Lolita clothes. It should be on the first page, ninth picture.
Meanwhile, the poll is still up for vote!
Is Jaken the flamer or is he being framed?
So far, 3 votes goes to him being framed, 0 to him being the real flamer.
That settled, please review!