Summary: Lily has sunk into a depression . . . and not just a normal
depression! She lost her expression, her feelings, and every emotion that's
considered humane. Who will help her now?
Rating: PG13 for excessive emotional pain, and violence (though not that much)
Disclaimer: I don't any thing except the idea of this story.
A/N: Hello! Thank you for coming back to read the fourth crappy chappie of my fic! This one is rushed, unfortunately, but I'm trying to reach my own deadline and do all my high school work at the same time, so I hope you don't mind.
Personally, I don't think Lily has suffered enough due to my poor description, but hopefully I'll be able to revisit all of my ideas after everything is done. Well, I'll stop now so you can go on and read chap four!
Heart of Ice
Part Four - Tears Are Signs of Weakness
The Dark Mark was hovering over Lily's house by the time the Ministry of Magic arrived with Dumbledore. By then Lily was sitting in the darkest corner, holding her mother's corpse, cuddling in the darkest corner of the house.
"Lily . . ." the elderly headmaster bent down and softly spoke to the shaken girl. The addressed red head turned to face Dumbledore, and found him frowning. As a headmaster of Hogwarts in this dark period of time, he had comforted many students before. But to see one that showed no traces of any emotions unnerved him, it made him uneasy.
". . . Professor . . . mother is dead. Everyone is dead . . . everyone is dead . . ." Lily trailed off, looking back at the deceased woman in her hold.
Again, in the same monotone voice, Lily whispered. The headmaster had to strain his ears to hear what the delicate flower was saying.
". . . But it was beautiful . . . the way this wine-like blood slowly covers the ground like a red carpet . . . it makes me feel special, like I was a royalty . . . it's so wonderful . . ." Lily faced the old professor but this time with a crooked, insane but small smile. ". . . Don't you think so, professor . . .?"
Sighing, the headmaster put his hands on Lily's shoulders and helped her up, releasing her hold on the bloody body. "I think it's best to have you back at the school, young Lily."
Walking for only a few steps, however, Lily suddenly stopped.
"Lily?"
"Tom was here . . . I can't go yet. He'd be wondering where I am."
"Tom?"
"He said he'd be back soon. He said he is only getting something."
"Lily, I need to know who this Tom is." Dumbledore said, now giving Lily a piercing look, a look that made many confess. The red head didn't seem to notice though.
"I can't go. He asked me if I would go with him and I haven't replied yet . . ."
---Flashback---
"Lily?" A black figure approaches the shaken girl.
"Tom? Tom is that you?" Lily asked in a monotone voice while searched the darkened room for the source of the voice.
"Lily . . ." The addressed body showed himself and knelt down beside the red head whose already holding the corpse of her mother.
"What happened . . .? This is horrible!" The young Riddle questioned, his voice full of concern.
"They're dead. They're all dead." Was the reply.
". . . Come with me." The boy requested, "Forget Hogwarts, forget Lucious, forget everything else in your miserable life and come with me. Join me and I will help you find relief in all of this. I can help you, Lily. Come with me and let me help you."
Lily looked at the dead body in her hands and smiled insanely . . . maybe going with Tom would be the best thing to do. After all, he's the only one that cared now. Suddenly, the older boy perked up at the sounds outside of the house. Lily remained in the same position.
"I will come back soon, Lily. I left something outside. Will you give me an answer when I'm back?"
The kneeling figure didn't respond, but young Voldemort didn't wait for a reply either.
---End of Flashback---
"Come Lily. Tom will know that you went back to Hogwarts. He can find you there." With that, the old professor led the girl out the door. Leaving the Ministry to clean up the mess.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In the following summer, after school has ended (Lily has scored the second highest in the exams), the blank-faced Lily received a letter from Petunia. Apparently she was in her boyfriend's house when the attack happened. She was devastated when she returned that night. Now she's staying with Vernon Dursley, her boyfriend's house since he's striving on his own already and has space in his apartment.
YOU'RE THE REASON MA AND PA DIED!!!! COME TO STAY IN VERNON'S PLACE FOR SUMMER, I DARE YOU! YOU'LL PROBABLY JUST GET US ALL KILLED! YOU'RE A FREAK AND I *HATE* YOU!!!!! LIVE IN THE STREETS FOR ALL I CARE! I DON'T HAVE A SISTER ANYMORE! -Petunia
Folding up the letter, Lily held her trunk and headed for Diagon Alley. Perhaps she can find a job there over the summer and somehow survive. She had no more muggle money, however, so she had to walk from Kings Cross Station to London, where the secret entrance to the Wizarding community is.
Slowly, dragging her feet while pulling her trunk, Lily watched the people passing and going on the London streets. There were many hoboes and homeless folks that's for sure. She has no reason to dread anything. She could have suffered worse.
'Act normal, Lily.' She told herself. 'You have no reason to despair compared to these poor people.'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The death of Lily's parents became the headline news in the front page two days later, along with the list of the most recent victims that fell under the rising dark lord that called himself 'Lord Voldemort'. The Ministry is getting panicky, Lord Voldemort has been gathering numerous lackeys and more everyday and there is nothing they can do about it. Death became the top story everyday, you just don't see a pleasant news often anymore.
Upon arriving a new year in Hogwarts, the rising increase in demise significantly lowered the spirit of the school and the Marauders felt that it is their duty to cheer everyone up.
They've often played pranks, sneaking into the kitchen to bring surprises for everyone (much to the disapproval of many teachers), and various other things.
And tormenting Lily was always part of their pranks.
However, they felt uneasy every time they played malicious pranks on her because the petite red head would always stand there, full of no emotions and just clean up the mess. Whenever Lupin tries to talk to Lily when they're alone, he would always receive either a blank expression or an insane smile that totally unnerved him.
Lily on the other hand, tried her hardest to look and act like her normal self, but didn't realize that it's having a total different result. The insane smile is the only expression her muscle can muster. After all, her mind is under extreme distress and making expressions seems to only pressure it more.
--- After Transfiguration---
"You know what, Severus? I think that the dirty mudblood ought to know her place. That expression of hers is intimidating everyone, it's not right!" Lucious claimed, speaking loudly into the ears of a certain greasy haired boy. "It's such a shame that master should keep the deaths of the Potters a secret from that silly mudblood. After all, wouldn't that cause even more pain?"
"Whatever, I don't have time to chat with the likes of you."
"Come to think of it . . . don't you still have that little diary or hers?"
"Of course!" Snape smirked and brought it out of his bag and waved it around.
Grinning, Lucious attempted to grab it. "GIMME! GIMME!"
Keeping out of the blonde boy's reach and smirking, Snape bumped into someone behind him.
"OW!!!" Peter shouted in unhappiness when his bottom made contact with the ground. Opeining one eye, the chubby boy saw the little book. "What's this?" He muttered, picking it up.
"GIVE ME THAT!" Snape shouted, both in anger and in anxiety. If his master were to know that he lost the diary to a useless fatty, he'd be in more trouble than anyone on earth.
"No, give it to me, Pete!" James grinned, coming into the picture and helping Peter up. The petite blond immediately give the book to the taller boy, relieved in giving away this object of obvious trouble.
"Potter . . . I'm warning you . . ." Snape said in a threatening tone, but James took no notice.
"What's this?" James' eyes widened in delight as he skimmed through the contents of the little book. "Well, well! What do you know! It's Evans' diary!"
"POTTER!!!! STUPE-"
"EXPELLIARMUS!!!" Sirius roared before the greasy haired boy. Snape fell as he was disarmed.
"What's going on?" The young werewolf asked, also entering the scene.
"Nothing, we're just going." Lucious said casually, "We just can't stand the sight of low Gryffindors who buds into our business. Now hand the diary back."
"No way! Try to take it from us instead!" James smiled triumphantly. There's no way these two crooks can steal this precious pranking tool from them, it's four against two!
"Hmph! It's not like we need them anyway." The blond Slytherin stalked away, dragging Snape with him.
Snape glared at them; "I'll get that diary back, Potter!" he spat out the last word in disgust.
Watching the two Slytherins walking away angrily, Sirius turned to face his best friend.
"So what diary is it?"
"It's Evans'. We can post it up all over the school! And look, the first passage was written when she was just three years old!" Remus paled significantly. Did the Slytherins read it? If they did, then they will know that he is a werewolf! If this news went around the school, he'll no longer be able to stay in Hogwarts any longer! Panic struck the young sandy haired youth.
While the young werewolf was pondering over those depressing thoughts, the other marauders were already flipping through the tiny red book.
"This book seems abandoned right before she came to school," Peter proclaimed.
"There must be a more recent one then," James thought out loud. "I'm gonna steal it."
Remus looked at James in bewilderment. "You're serious? You're actually gonna do that?"
"Why not?" Again, Remus didn't say anything.
"Well, I will."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey guys, guess what?" James asked, walking into the Gryffindor Common Room one Friday afternoon.
"What?" Sirius asked lazily, glancing at James only for a second before going back to the chess game he's having with the werewolf by the fireplace.
"I've got it!"
"You've got what?" Remus asked, not looking up.
"Evan's other diary!" The young werewolf's head snapped up after the reply. He was most definitely NOT expecting that answer!
James sat down on one of the couches by the fireplace and skimmed through the small black velvet book the same speed he flipped through the previous one.
"Wait a minute . . . this doesn't make sense!" The dark haired boy exclaimed.
"What doesn't make sense, Jamsie? Wait, scratch that. Nothing EVER make sense to you." Sirius grinned and James scowled.
"Well, in the end of the first diary, she was talking about the strangeness of the house elf friend she's befriended for a month Tilly . . ." James gulped, remembering her mother, "And then this one started with how much she likes Lucious and how she views his mansion as her home since she's been there since forever but it's actually only one month . . ."
"Hmmm . . . it's like a part of her diary is being cut off . . ." Sirius mused while Remus stayed silent.
"Her diary is no fun, there's nothing embarrassing in them!" James angrily declared. Of course, what James didn't know was that Lily wrote in her diary the most ordinary things that happened that day, like how she did chores instead of Petunia beating her and then told her to do chores. After all, she found that writing those kind of memories only made her feel worse afterwards.
"Damn. But I think I'll keep it anyway."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Mr. Potter, may I see you in my office please?" The headmaster of Hogwarts beckoned James to follow him after seeing the dark haired youth terrorizing the expressionless Lily along with the other three.
"Sure, Professor Dumbledore." James said, not feeling any guilt at all.
Remus, Sirius, and Peter looked at each other in worry.
---Dumbledore's Office---
" So what can I do for you, Professor?"
Dumbledore stared at James for a moment before replying, "James, it has come to my attention that you have been harassing a certain student in this school. Am I correct?"
"You're correct, Professor." James answered plainly.
"Why do you terrorize Lily so, James? What has she done to you that deserves such an unwanted attention?"
"She killed my parents, Professor. I feel perfectly justified to avenge my mom and dad." James answered trying to keep his calm.
"You claim that she killed your parents. What proof do you have of that?"
"I was THERE, professor! I SAW her kill them!" Losing his cool, the young Gryffindor yelled, and told everything about the night they died. Dumbledore merely remained silent and listened.
"It appears, James," the headmaster started after James was done, "that Lily did NOT murder Mr and Mrs Potter." James looked at the elder Dumbledore in question.
"Lily is only a child of ten when it happened, as you are. What spell could she possibly learn and master to do such criminal spell? I know for a fact that Mrs Potter was infiltrating Lord Voldemort's lair disguising as a house elf and befriended the young Lily. Perhaps Lily was just upset over your mother after she found out that she was actually not a house elf. Ms. Evans is a very smart and sharp girl, you may have found out."
James remained silent, still not convinced.
"Perhaps I need to inform you further to convince you of her innocence . . ." the elderly man claimed and was affirmed by the nod of James' head.
"You must understand, Mr. Potter, that what I am about to tell you must NOT go out of this room. It is to remain absolute secrecy.
James was convinced that he was to be told of how horrible Evans actually is, but he did not expect to hear what Dumbledore had to say.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James, feeling quite mixed-up strolled down the halls of Hogwarts with his head down. So Lily never did anything at all. He was quick to assume things. The guilt of torturing the poor flower for no reason filled him and the young Gryffindor Seeker quite upset over that. Why didn't he made sure that Lily DIDN'T do anything?
Remembering back on the day when his parents died, still vividly in his mind, James recalled Lily's upset expression. Whatever was bothering her definitely flew out of the window with a snap when his parents just drop dead. Just like that. He remembers the stunned expression on the red head as well. It seems like she was frightened . . . there was a flash of blue light, but then the powder went out and left him crying with sorrow and hatred.
He immediately believed that Lily was the one who murdered his parents, he really did. But what else is he to think? His parents just died. Just like that! He has every reason to not think carefully. He has every reason to believe that she was a murderer.
Getting angry at the guilt gripping his heart, James began stomping with a mad expression on his face. Many students walked by and made way for him sacredly.
Suddenly, he heard bullying over by the staircase. There were insults, name- calling, and some pushing, by the sounds of it. And then, there was a scream followed by some scared voices.
Alarmed and being the justified one, he immediately rushed over to the scene of the incident, but before he can reach the Staircase, someone literally dropped on him.
The sudden heavy weight of a body on top of him made James quite out of it. He was knocked out for a few seconds before regaining his mind. He gently pushed off the person (whoever it was) and grabbed his wand to fix his broken glasses. When the round spectacles are fixed, James glanced at the one who collapsed on top of him.
It was a girl, for one thing. A girl with long pretty curly flaming red hair. Now who does he know that has long red hair? It can't be Lily because the flower had short messy hair, and it can't be Molly from one of the older years . . . no . . . the girl before him is too elegant to be Molly.
The girl stirred, but she seems to be unconscious. James turned her around and saw that she has a fair complexion . . . she seems quite familiar yet different . . . he just can't put his finger on it . . .
Trailing his view from the red head's troubled sleeping face down, he noticed that she's wearing a Prefect's badge . . . and her hand is holding something .
And blood is dripping from it.
Alarmed, James immediately used a spell (mobilius) to bring the girl to the Hospital Wing, the staircase incident forgotten.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Madam Pomphrey, I have a patient for you." James called, when he finally reached the Hospital Wing. It took him quite some time because his charms work isn't very good, and he had to stop every once in a while because his spell is diminishing.
"Oh dear!" The nurse called, coming out of her office.
Putting the mysterious girl in one of the beds, Madam Pomphrey checked her over. "Why . . . I've never seen her around here before!" The school nurse exclaimed, "Technically I would know every student and staff here in Hogwarts!"
James looked at the medical nurse in question. If this girl isn't a student, then who is she? Why is she wearing Hogwarts' uniform with a Prefect badge? Questions filled James mind as the nurse treated the girl's hand.
"Thank goodness it's just a scratch." Said the medical veteran. "But she shouldn't be playing with glass though, it's not safe."
After disposing the shards of glass from the red head's grasp, Madam Pomphrey spotted James in the corner.
"James dear, don't you have a class to go to right now? Why are you still here? Shoo, shoo!" Madam Pomphrey called, gently pushing the dark haired boy out the doors. "You may visit the girl after class."
With that, the entrance to the Hospital Wing was tightly shut. Giving it one last glance, James trotted back to his respective class.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After dinner, James secretly went up the dormitories to grab his invisibility cloak. He didn't tell the rest of the Marauders where he's going . . . after all, he wanted to uncover this mystery by himself. He'll talk with the girl, but only if she's awake and she's alone.
Creeping into the Hospital Wing once more silently, James approached the girl.
The red head is definitely awake, but she was looking at the other patient that occupied the bed beside hers, her startling emerald green eyes unblinking. The similarity between her and Lily frightens him . . . will Lily become this beautiful one day?
Looking over to where the girl was starring, James found himself watching the sleeping form of none other than Lily Evans. Her head was wrapped up in bandages as well as various places. It seems like she's gotten badly mistreated somehow.
The unwanted feelings of guilt are sneaking its way up in James' mind again.
"She's suffering . . . " The girl, shaking her head, whispered to herself.
James heard the girl sigh before watching her turn her gaze back and starred right at him. Cold sweat broke out and James starred nervously back, looking into the depths of emerald green.
"Where am I?" The red head asked, looking at James. The young Gryffindor went uneasy. Is she talking to him or herself? Can she actually see through his invisibility cloak? Breaking his ponderings, James realized that the girl had gone into a daze, either that or really deep in thought.
Just then. Madam Pomphrey came out of her office and noticed that the girl has awakened.
"Oh! You're awake! How do you feel?"
"Just fine, thank you. By the way, may I ask what happened to this poor girl?"
"The poor thing fell down the staircase . . ." That sounds familiar . . . James thought. Wait, didn't he hear a group of people bullying someone by the staircase? Damn. Now he feels even worse.
"Make sure you don't bother her when she wakes up. She's suffered quite a damage to the head . . . she won't be able to see or think properly." Seeing the strange prefect nod, Madam Pomphrey left the room once more.
James, now feeling worse than before, ponders whether or not he should leave now. Before the dark haired youth decided on what to do, however, Lily stirred and woke up. The flower sat up in her bed and stared straight ahead, her face still devoid of any trace of emotions. Quite unnerving, James thought. The other girl, however, stepped out of her bed and sat beside Lily.
"You're awake! How are you feeling?"
" . . ."
"Is there something bothering you, sweetie?" The girl asked, her face full of genuine concern.
Lily turned and looked at the mysterious teen, her eyes blank.
"You can tell me, I wouldn't tell anyone, I swear! I can lend you an ear."
"You don't have to pretend to be nice to me. I don't care."
"What happened?" It wasn't a question this time. It's a demand.
" . . ."
"Well?"
" . . . Why do you care so much?"
"Because you're suffering. Now tell me what's wrong."
" . . ."
"It's okay, let it out."
" . . My parents were killed. I'm number one on the school's bullying list. I trust no one. I love no one. Is that what you wanted to hear me say?" For the first time in months, a flicker of emotion could be heard in Lily's voice. She turned her head and looked directly at the older girl.
"My sister hates me. I have no home, no family, and no friends to turn to. If I die, it's to do the world a favour. No one cares so why are you now?" Annoyance and frustration filled Lily's voice and James winced at the words she spoke.
Suddenly, a pair of arms went around the flower.
Hugging the poor red head tight, the mysterious lass whispered to Lily's ears. "Let your tears out. A clean cry will help you feel so much better. If you don't, this depression will eat you alive from the inside! Don't do this to yourself; it's not worth it. You're losing your sparkle, a smile that some stranger just might fall for!"
"Tears are signs of weakness. My enemies will only prey on me harder if they see me at a moment of weakness." Lily mumbled to herself, recalling Lucious' words.
*SLAP*
Holding her cheek in shock, Lily looked at the other red head.
"It IS true that tears are signs of weakness, but there is a place and time for everything! You don't have to cry in front of anybody! You don't need to cry in a public place! You could've found a secret place to cry when you're alone! You have to learn WHEN and WHERE is a good time for you to let your feelings out!" The girl shouted angrily, but then softens.
"Let it out, sweetie. And then smile to the world to show just how brave you really are."
Rubbing her cheeks still, Lily looked down, emotions now flickering madly in her eyes. The older girl smiled and hugged the flower again, gently. "Let it out. It's just me here."
Encouraged by such kindness, the red head began to feel the coldness inside of her shatter. Perhaps this is how human warmth feels like. Lucious never did such thing; her parents just tried to please her, never mind Petunia . . . Maybe this is what a caring person should really be like . . . oh how she craves to have someone like that . . .
Then, a single tear rolled down Lily's face, followed by a sob.
She doesn't know why . . . tears are coming down like Niagara Falls and she just can't stop them.
"There, there. That's it; let it all out . . . now tell me what's bothering you." The other red head soothed her while patting on her back.
Sniffing and weeping into the shoulder of the apparent prefect, Lily mumbled, her voice trembling.
"I-I want the others to s-stop p-picking on me for no r-reason . . . *sob* . . . I-I want P-Petunia to l-like me a-and a-at least t-treat me like a f- family . . . I-I want ma and p-pa to be a-alive s-still . . . a-and I-I want the D-Dark L-Lord to d-die . . . *sob* . . ."
Lily tightened her hold on the girl, "B-But most of a-all . . . I-I want s- someone t-to care . . . someone *sob* like T-Tom . . ."
Lily continued weeping and the other red head just continued patting her back.
'Tom . . . I've heard of that name somewhere before . . .' The red head thought.
James, feeling guilt and sorrow beyond his imagination, felt that this is a good time for him to depart. Lily wouldn't want to catch him watching her 'moment of weakness', as she puts it.
Silently, he slipped out of the dark infirmary.
The next morning, when Madam Pomphrey walked out of her office, she was greeted with the sight of two red heads holding each other, fast asleep. One with dry tears.
The old nurse smiled. It's about time the poor girl released her feelings.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"So Jamsie, where were you last night?" Sirius asked casually, gulping down a cake roll.
"Like I said, in the library." James answered equally as casual while, chewing his scrambled eggs.
"Yuck. Don't talk while you're eating, especially while eating eggs. It's not a pleasant sight for one sitting in front of you, you know." Remus made a face at James but he ignored the young werewolf.
"But James, we went to the library and didn't see you there." Peter said, looking at the addressed boy questionably.
"Well, I uh . . ."
"Let me guess. You only said that to get rid of us. I'm hurt." Sirius declared, looking away from the boy sitting next to him.
"I'm sorry you guys, but there's something that I just had to take care of."
"Say you're sorry." The pouting boy said.
"I'm sorry."
"Say you'll never do anything of the sort ever again . . . at least not that obviously."
"umm. . . " Remus looked at Sirius like he's crazy. James grinned.
"I'm sorry, next time I'll make it less obvious."
Sirius turned back to the group, "That's my boy! Alright, you're forgiven."
Remus sighed and Peter laughed.
"So tell us, James, what exactly were you doing last night?" The petite blonde asked.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Miss . . . the headmaster would like to see you." Professor McGonagall said, gesturing for the girl to follow her to Dumbledore's office the next day.
"Okay." When the red head got up, she felt her robes being tugged. She turned to see Lily holding onto her.
"You'll be back, won't you?" The small flower asked hesitantly, "You don't have to if you don't want to though . . ."
The girl smiled reassuringly, "I will."
Without another word, the girl followed the strict teacher out of the Hospital Wing.
Stepping into the glamorous room, the mystifying prefect looked on in awe. Professor McGonagall left a while ago and the headmaster still hasn't shown up. She gasp softly as she spotted Fawkes, the phoenix owned by Dumbledore.
She walked over silently and watched the red bird, and it stared at her back, flapping its wings.
"Beautiful, isn't it? Phoenixes truly are wonderful creatures." Said a voice from above the staircase.
She looked up and saw an elderly man with long white beard and a kind expression. He seems spirited with sparkles, she thought as Dumbledore sat down in his seat.
"So, what has brought you to Hogwarts?" The headmaster inquired.
"Umm . . . I don't really know."
"Well, let's start easy then. What is your name?"
"I'm . . ." A look of dismay suddenly appeared on her face, "I-I don't know . . ."
The headmaster gave the shaken girl a look of sympathy, "Well, the situation stands thus. Why don't we call you Rose for now. Since you wears our Prefect badge, why don't you resume the position as well? Madam Pomphrey, the school nurse, reported that you were apparently holding shards of glass from an unusual time turner. It is hypothesized that you are either from the past or from the future. Before we can figure out exactly where and when you left, it is best that you stay here with us." The old professor smiled and winked. "And I'm sure a certain other student of ours would appreciate your presence."
Rose returned his smile weakly and uncertainly. "Thank you, professor."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rose was just walking out of the office when the four marauders came running to her. She recognizes the one with dark hair and glasses, but not the other three. They seem to have spotted her and stopped.
"Hello! Are you new to the school?" James asked brightly.
" Umm . . . yes, that's right. My name is Rose and I'm a prefect."
"Well my name is Sirius. This is James," Sirius said, nodding towards his best friend, "And this is Remus and Peter."
"It's very nice meeting you all."
"So your wound healed? Madam Pomphrey is such a good nurse, isn't she?" James mentioned the incident nervously. What if she doesn't know that he was the one who brought her to the infirmary? Fortunately Rose replied, much to his relief.
"Oh yes. And thank you very much for bring me there yesterday." She smiled politely, and James reddened a little.
The Marauders watched James in suspicion as he waved the red head when she left.
*~*~*~*~* two hours later~*~*~*~*~*
"You like her, don't you?" Peter asked the question the other two marauders have in their mind for a while.
"NO~~~~~!!!!! Pete! How can you EVER think of such a thing???"
"Well, there ARE hints . . ." Remus said, smiling evilly.
"Oh yea! Like when you went all red while talking to her this afternoon . . ." Sirius added, also smiling at James.
Going red again, the Gryffindor Seeker was going to protest when two red heads entered the Great Hall.
It was Rose with a hesitant Lily behind her.
"It's alright, I'll sit with you." Rose smiled gently down at Lily who didn't reply.
By the time the two flowers had sat down by the Gryffindor Table, most of the school's populace has their eyes on them. Not only are they curious about the stranger, they're wondering why anyone would dare to go near the 'Loner Evans'.
James on the other hand, was relieved a bit to see that emotions are now playing in Lily's eyes . . . she's no longer blank. That's a good sign.
"Guys, you know what? I think we should stop harassing Lily." James turned to the rest of the Marauders.
Sirius eyes widened, Remus looked at him in shock, and Peter seems confused.
"W-Why?" Sirius stuttered.
"You seem to hate her guts and now you're going to stop revenge? Did something happen?" Remus asked, hiding his joy.
"I thought you hate her, James." The small blond boy questioned.
When the young Gryffindor was about to answer, Dumbledore stood up to announce the arrival of Rose.
"Attention everyone. As you may have noticed, (Who hasn't? Sirius thought) that a new student has entered our ranks. Her name is Rose and she will be a sixth year Gryffindor Prefect. Please welcome her and make her feel at home."
Rose stood up and smiled at the student body that are now applauding. Many boys noticed how cute she is and tried to give her a seducing smile. She merely replied with a wink, nothing more.
"Something came up. I'll tell you guys later." Was James' only reply.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For the following weeks after Rose's first appearance, people has gotten used to her staying by Lily Evans' side. It appears that she is some sort of pillar of support for the young red head. What's more astonishing though, is that the Marauders had stopped harassing the poor Lily.
They even apologized for being the prats they are.
Of course, the small flower was very nervous at first, but with the reassurance from the older red head, she was able to accept their request for forgiveness. Of course, the Marauders got a not-so-empty death threat from Rose that if they should do something even close to pranking the little girl, she will personally beat them up so bad they won't be able to walk properly for the next three months.
She proved herself by cursing Lucious who was watching the Marauders apologizing and laughing at them.
Now Rose on the other hand, is one who zoned out often for whatever strange reason. She would be walking with Lily at one point and then suddenly stop and look deep in thought, or when she is in Potions with her fellow six years and then zone out, which causes havoc in the small dungeon.
That's how she came to be known as the Pensive Girl. Whenever someone mentions the title, the others would immediately know whom they're talking about. However, something happened during the middle of May.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Lily, I know this will be hard for you," Dumbledore began as he looked at Lily in the eyes in his office. "But I'm afraid Rose will no longer be able to stay here in Hogwarts."
"W-Why???" fear began to spread out in the petite red head's mind. "I-I don't want her to go yet! S-She's like a sister to me . . . if she leaves, I don't kn-"
"I understand, Lily." The headmaster held up his hand.
"Because of this, I am offering you to request anyone you would like to stay with you for a short while until you calm down."
Thinking that she had no choice in the matter, Lily sighed sadly.
". . . Then I'd like to see Tom. I want Tom to be here."
"And may I ask who Tom is?"
"My guardian Tom. Tom Riddle."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nobody knew what happened, but a few days later, the Pensive Girl disappeared and was replaced by a guy. Everyone stayed away from him because he has this dark aura around him that made him seem really scary. A few boys missed the happy and friendly Rose.
Lily and Tom like to hang out around the balcony outside the Astronomy Tower during free times, and so everyone avoided that place. And today was one such day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Looking out the one small balcony of Hogwarts, Lily leaned against the railings contently watching the scenery with Tom beside her.
"How do you feel, flower?" The older boy asked, voice full of warmth.
"I feel a bit better now . . . " After that reply, the duo were once again left in silence.
Goofing around, the Marauders ran up to the astronomy tower, laughing. Suddenly spotting Lily and a strange boy leaning by the balcony, they immediately silenced and hid behind the door to the balcony and peeked. Curiosity overcame them and they wanted to see what's up.
"You know . . . " Lily began after what seems like forever, "You were the first person who ever cared for me, Tom. You were like the brother I never had."
Young Riddle does not like where this conversation is going.
"When we first met, you were very kind and gentle, and cared about how I feel."
"It was my pleasure, Lily. You're a nice kid."
Lily swallowed, feeling uneasy to continue after that remark. "But a-after what happened . . . after what happened, I-I really can't bear to see you anymore . . ."
Tom looked at Lily pointedly, confusion shown on his pale complexion. The red head did nothing to look his way.
"So I thought that maybe it would be best if we don't see each other anymore . . ."
"Lily . . ."
"I-I'm sorry! B-but it's very painful for me to see you now . . . every time I see you, everything that happened that night all come flooding back to me . . . these vivid images of those memories haunted my dreams, even when I am awake they taunt me like the former Marauders . . ." The three boys winced.
"S-so I'm very regretful to say that I don't think I am capable of joining you . . . I-I just want to leave it all behind."
The Marauders watched as Lily suddenly held the other boy tightly before heading towards them with eyes full of unshed tears. The one Lily called Tom was showing hatred beyond comparison on his face, however. James feared what he will do.
"So that wench did do more damage than I would've thought . . . But I must say, my plans did backfired in some parts." Riddle said, facing the retreating back of the flower and at the same time, holding up his wand.
Lily turned around in confusion, but before she could question Tom any further, a blinding flash of blue light surrounded her and she knew no more.
Lily fell to the ground in a heap as the Marauders watched in horror. Tom lowered his wand, walked over and knelt next to the fallen girl and smirked evilly, his blood red eyes dulling. He whispered to the unconscious red head, but just loud enough for the hidden three to hear.
"I've made you forget everything before . . . and I can do it again. Don't worry, dear flower . . . these "horrid" memories won't ever haunt your dreams again . . ."
Realization was downed to the three Marauders. As Tom carried Lily back down the Astronomy tower, the three boys immediately hid themselves in the shadows, their breathing shallow, heart full of nervousness. The evil dark- lord-to-be only paused for a moment to see if anyone's around before grinning evilly once more and walked down the steps of the tower.
The usually happy and brave third years released their breath as they watched the retreating steps of Tom Riddle. Different thoughts filled each of their minds.
'I've seen that blue light before . . . right after mama and papa were killed . . . then does that mean Lily never knew what happened? Was this Riddle guy the one who killed my parents instead?'
'Lily has forgotten everything before . . . so she never remembered who I was . . . of course she wouldn't remember!' Remus thought sadly. 'But there WERE hints that she was remembering . . . otherwise how would she know that I am a werewolf?'
'Oh my God . . . everything suddenly seemed even more complicated!' Sirius smacked himself on the head.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Madam Pomphrey . . .?" Tom called tentatively once he entered the infirmary, and the school nurse immediately walked out of her office.
"Oh dear! What happened to her this time?" Without hearing an answer, the medical maid instantly escorted Lily to a bed and tucked her in.
"I believe she's in shock, Madam Pomphrey." Riddle said respectably, "She's merely unconscious."
Nodding, the addressed nurse said, "Alright, just let her sleep until she wakes then. You may wish to stay with her, Riddle. I trust you won't do anything to her." Madam Pomphrey smiled at Tom before disappearing once more into her bureau.
After two hours, Lily's eyelids finally slowly lifted. However, the blank look returned to her eyes and no trace of emotions was visible once again.
"Lily, would you like to come with me? To get away from all this pain, to find relief in your miserable life? No one cares for you now except me." Tom asked softly beside the flower.
" . . . you're right, Tom. I don't really care anymore." Lily said blankly, her eyes not quite focused on the person she's speaking with and her voice devoid of emotion.
"I'll join you."
Tom Riddle smirked.
Tbc . . .
A/N: So what did you think of this chapter? Personally I didn't really like it because it was too rushed, but I'm trying to reach my deadline, so I'm just typing frantically without thinking it over afterwards. After all, this fanfic is only an outline for the comics I'm drawing anyway.
Well, I hope it's getting interesting. I'm really fascinated by werewolves lately (not because of HP) so I did some research, and I found some really interesting stuff I can insert in my future chaps so wait for it!
And lastly, please R&R! Thankies~*
Rating: PG13 for excessive emotional pain, and violence (though not that much)
Disclaimer: I don't any thing except the idea of this story.
A/N: Hello! Thank you for coming back to read the fourth crappy chappie of my fic! This one is rushed, unfortunately, but I'm trying to reach my own deadline and do all my high school work at the same time, so I hope you don't mind.
Personally, I don't think Lily has suffered enough due to my poor description, but hopefully I'll be able to revisit all of my ideas after everything is done. Well, I'll stop now so you can go on and read chap four!
Heart of Ice
Part Four - Tears Are Signs of Weakness
The Dark Mark was hovering over Lily's house by the time the Ministry of Magic arrived with Dumbledore. By then Lily was sitting in the darkest corner, holding her mother's corpse, cuddling in the darkest corner of the house.
"Lily . . ." the elderly headmaster bent down and softly spoke to the shaken girl. The addressed red head turned to face Dumbledore, and found him frowning. As a headmaster of Hogwarts in this dark period of time, he had comforted many students before. But to see one that showed no traces of any emotions unnerved him, it made him uneasy.
". . . Professor . . . mother is dead. Everyone is dead . . . everyone is dead . . ." Lily trailed off, looking back at the deceased woman in her hold.
Again, in the same monotone voice, Lily whispered. The headmaster had to strain his ears to hear what the delicate flower was saying.
". . . But it was beautiful . . . the way this wine-like blood slowly covers the ground like a red carpet . . . it makes me feel special, like I was a royalty . . . it's so wonderful . . ." Lily faced the old professor but this time with a crooked, insane but small smile. ". . . Don't you think so, professor . . .?"
Sighing, the headmaster put his hands on Lily's shoulders and helped her up, releasing her hold on the bloody body. "I think it's best to have you back at the school, young Lily."
Walking for only a few steps, however, Lily suddenly stopped.
"Lily?"
"Tom was here . . . I can't go yet. He'd be wondering where I am."
"Tom?"
"He said he'd be back soon. He said he is only getting something."
"Lily, I need to know who this Tom is." Dumbledore said, now giving Lily a piercing look, a look that made many confess. The red head didn't seem to notice though.
"I can't go. He asked me if I would go with him and I haven't replied yet . . ."
---Flashback---
"Lily?" A black figure approaches the shaken girl.
"Tom? Tom is that you?" Lily asked in a monotone voice while searched the darkened room for the source of the voice.
"Lily . . ." The addressed body showed himself and knelt down beside the red head whose already holding the corpse of her mother.
"What happened . . .? This is horrible!" The young Riddle questioned, his voice full of concern.
"They're dead. They're all dead." Was the reply.
". . . Come with me." The boy requested, "Forget Hogwarts, forget Lucious, forget everything else in your miserable life and come with me. Join me and I will help you find relief in all of this. I can help you, Lily. Come with me and let me help you."
Lily looked at the dead body in her hands and smiled insanely . . . maybe going with Tom would be the best thing to do. After all, he's the only one that cared now. Suddenly, the older boy perked up at the sounds outside of the house. Lily remained in the same position.
"I will come back soon, Lily. I left something outside. Will you give me an answer when I'm back?"
The kneeling figure didn't respond, but young Voldemort didn't wait for a reply either.
---End of Flashback---
"Come Lily. Tom will know that you went back to Hogwarts. He can find you there." With that, the old professor led the girl out the door. Leaving the Ministry to clean up the mess.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In the following summer, after school has ended (Lily has scored the second highest in the exams), the blank-faced Lily received a letter from Petunia. Apparently she was in her boyfriend's house when the attack happened. She was devastated when she returned that night. Now she's staying with Vernon Dursley, her boyfriend's house since he's striving on his own already and has space in his apartment.
YOU'RE THE REASON MA AND PA DIED!!!! COME TO STAY IN VERNON'S PLACE FOR SUMMER, I DARE YOU! YOU'LL PROBABLY JUST GET US ALL KILLED! YOU'RE A FREAK AND I *HATE* YOU!!!!! LIVE IN THE STREETS FOR ALL I CARE! I DON'T HAVE A SISTER ANYMORE! -Petunia
Folding up the letter, Lily held her trunk and headed for Diagon Alley. Perhaps she can find a job there over the summer and somehow survive. She had no more muggle money, however, so she had to walk from Kings Cross Station to London, where the secret entrance to the Wizarding community is.
Slowly, dragging her feet while pulling her trunk, Lily watched the people passing and going on the London streets. There were many hoboes and homeless folks that's for sure. She has no reason to dread anything. She could have suffered worse.
'Act normal, Lily.' She told herself. 'You have no reason to despair compared to these poor people.'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The death of Lily's parents became the headline news in the front page two days later, along with the list of the most recent victims that fell under the rising dark lord that called himself 'Lord Voldemort'. The Ministry is getting panicky, Lord Voldemort has been gathering numerous lackeys and more everyday and there is nothing they can do about it. Death became the top story everyday, you just don't see a pleasant news often anymore.
Upon arriving a new year in Hogwarts, the rising increase in demise significantly lowered the spirit of the school and the Marauders felt that it is their duty to cheer everyone up.
They've often played pranks, sneaking into the kitchen to bring surprises for everyone (much to the disapproval of many teachers), and various other things.
And tormenting Lily was always part of their pranks.
However, they felt uneasy every time they played malicious pranks on her because the petite red head would always stand there, full of no emotions and just clean up the mess. Whenever Lupin tries to talk to Lily when they're alone, he would always receive either a blank expression or an insane smile that totally unnerved him.
Lily on the other hand, tried her hardest to look and act like her normal self, but didn't realize that it's having a total different result. The insane smile is the only expression her muscle can muster. After all, her mind is under extreme distress and making expressions seems to only pressure it more.
--- After Transfiguration---
"You know what, Severus? I think that the dirty mudblood ought to know her place. That expression of hers is intimidating everyone, it's not right!" Lucious claimed, speaking loudly into the ears of a certain greasy haired boy. "It's such a shame that master should keep the deaths of the Potters a secret from that silly mudblood. After all, wouldn't that cause even more pain?"
"Whatever, I don't have time to chat with the likes of you."
"Come to think of it . . . don't you still have that little diary or hers?"
"Of course!" Snape smirked and brought it out of his bag and waved it around.
Grinning, Lucious attempted to grab it. "GIMME! GIMME!"
Keeping out of the blonde boy's reach and smirking, Snape bumped into someone behind him.
"OW!!!" Peter shouted in unhappiness when his bottom made contact with the ground. Opeining one eye, the chubby boy saw the little book. "What's this?" He muttered, picking it up.
"GIVE ME THAT!" Snape shouted, both in anger and in anxiety. If his master were to know that he lost the diary to a useless fatty, he'd be in more trouble than anyone on earth.
"No, give it to me, Pete!" James grinned, coming into the picture and helping Peter up. The petite blond immediately give the book to the taller boy, relieved in giving away this object of obvious trouble.
"Potter . . . I'm warning you . . ." Snape said in a threatening tone, but James took no notice.
"What's this?" James' eyes widened in delight as he skimmed through the contents of the little book. "Well, well! What do you know! It's Evans' diary!"
"POTTER!!!! STUPE-"
"EXPELLIARMUS!!!" Sirius roared before the greasy haired boy. Snape fell as he was disarmed.
"What's going on?" The young werewolf asked, also entering the scene.
"Nothing, we're just going." Lucious said casually, "We just can't stand the sight of low Gryffindors who buds into our business. Now hand the diary back."
"No way! Try to take it from us instead!" James smiled triumphantly. There's no way these two crooks can steal this precious pranking tool from them, it's four against two!
"Hmph! It's not like we need them anyway." The blond Slytherin stalked away, dragging Snape with him.
Snape glared at them; "I'll get that diary back, Potter!" he spat out the last word in disgust.
Watching the two Slytherins walking away angrily, Sirius turned to face his best friend.
"So what diary is it?"
"It's Evans'. We can post it up all over the school! And look, the first passage was written when she was just three years old!" Remus paled significantly. Did the Slytherins read it? If they did, then they will know that he is a werewolf! If this news went around the school, he'll no longer be able to stay in Hogwarts any longer! Panic struck the young sandy haired youth.
While the young werewolf was pondering over those depressing thoughts, the other marauders were already flipping through the tiny red book.
"This book seems abandoned right before she came to school," Peter proclaimed.
"There must be a more recent one then," James thought out loud. "I'm gonna steal it."
Remus looked at James in bewilderment. "You're serious? You're actually gonna do that?"
"Why not?" Again, Remus didn't say anything.
"Well, I will."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey guys, guess what?" James asked, walking into the Gryffindor Common Room one Friday afternoon.
"What?" Sirius asked lazily, glancing at James only for a second before going back to the chess game he's having with the werewolf by the fireplace.
"I've got it!"
"You've got what?" Remus asked, not looking up.
"Evan's other diary!" The young werewolf's head snapped up after the reply. He was most definitely NOT expecting that answer!
James sat down on one of the couches by the fireplace and skimmed through the small black velvet book the same speed he flipped through the previous one.
"Wait a minute . . . this doesn't make sense!" The dark haired boy exclaimed.
"What doesn't make sense, Jamsie? Wait, scratch that. Nothing EVER make sense to you." Sirius grinned and James scowled.
"Well, in the end of the first diary, she was talking about the strangeness of the house elf friend she's befriended for a month Tilly . . ." James gulped, remembering her mother, "And then this one started with how much she likes Lucious and how she views his mansion as her home since she's been there since forever but it's actually only one month . . ."
"Hmmm . . . it's like a part of her diary is being cut off . . ." Sirius mused while Remus stayed silent.
"Her diary is no fun, there's nothing embarrassing in them!" James angrily declared. Of course, what James didn't know was that Lily wrote in her diary the most ordinary things that happened that day, like how she did chores instead of Petunia beating her and then told her to do chores. After all, she found that writing those kind of memories only made her feel worse afterwards.
"Damn. But I think I'll keep it anyway."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Mr. Potter, may I see you in my office please?" The headmaster of Hogwarts beckoned James to follow him after seeing the dark haired youth terrorizing the expressionless Lily along with the other three.
"Sure, Professor Dumbledore." James said, not feeling any guilt at all.
Remus, Sirius, and Peter looked at each other in worry.
---Dumbledore's Office---
" So what can I do for you, Professor?"
Dumbledore stared at James for a moment before replying, "James, it has come to my attention that you have been harassing a certain student in this school. Am I correct?"
"You're correct, Professor." James answered plainly.
"Why do you terrorize Lily so, James? What has she done to you that deserves such an unwanted attention?"
"She killed my parents, Professor. I feel perfectly justified to avenge my mom and dad." James answered trying to keep his calm.
"You claim that she killed your parents. What proof do you have of that?"
"I was THERE, professor! I SAW her kill them!" Losing his cool, the young Gryffindor yelled, and told everything about the night they died. Dumbledore merely remained silent and listened.
"It appears, James," the headmaster started after James was done, "that Lily did NOT murder Mr and Mrs Potter." James looked at the elder Dumbledore in question.
"Lily is only a child of ten when it happened, as you are. What spell could she possibly learn and master to do such criminal spell? I know for a fact that Mrs Potter was infiltrating Lord Voldemort's lair disguising as a house elf and befriended the young Lily. Perhaps Lily was just upset over your mother after she found out that she was actually not a house elf. Ms. Evans is a very smart and sharp girl, you may have found out."
James remained silent, still not convinced.
"Perhaps I need to inform you further to convince you of her innocence . . ." the elderly man claimed and was affirmed by the nod of James' head.
"You must understand, Mr. Potter, that what I am about to tell you must NOT go out of this room. It is to remain absolute secrecy.
James was convinced that he was to be told of how horrible Evans actually is, but he did not expect to hear what Dumbledore had to say.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James, feeling quite mixed-up strolled down the halls of Hogwarts with his head down. So Lily never did anything at all. He was quick to assume things. The guilt of torturing the poor flower for no reason filled him and the young Gryffindor Seeker quite upset over that. Why didn't he made sure that Lily DIDN'T do anything?
Remembering back on the day when his parents died, still vividly in his mind, James recalled Lily's upset expression. Whatever was bothering her definitely flew out of the window with a snap when his parents just drop dead. Just like that. He remembers the stunned expression on the red head as well. It seems like she was frightened . . . there was a flash of blue light, but then the powder went out and left him crying with sorrow and hatred.
He immediately believed that Lily was the one who murdered his parents, he really did. But what else is he to think? His parents just died. Just like that! He has every reason to not think carefully. He has every reason to believe that she was a murderer.
Getting angry at the guilt gripping his heart, James began stomping with a mad expression on his face. Many students walked by and made way for him sacredly.
Suddenly, he heard bullying over by the staircase. There were insults, name- calling, and some pushing, by the sounds of it. And then, there was a scream followed by some scared voices.
Alarmed and being the justified one, he immediately rushed over to the scene of the incident, but before he can reach the Staircase, someone literally dropped on him.
The sudden heavy weight of a body on top of him made James quite out of it. He was knocked out for a few seconds before regaining his mind. He gently pushed off the person (whoever it was) and grabbed his wand to fix his broken glasses. When the round spectacles are fixed, James glanced at the one who collapsed on top of him.
It was a girl, for one thing. A girl with long pretty curly flaming red hair. Now who does he know that has long red hair? It can't be Lily because the flower had short messy hair, and it can't be Molly from one of the older years . . . no . . . the girl before him is too elegant to be Molly.
The girl stirred, but she seems to be unconscious. James turned her around and saw that she has a fair complexion . . . she seems quite familiar yet different . . . he just can't put his finger on it . . .
Trailing his view from the red head's troubled sleeping face down, he noticed that she's wearing a Prefect's badge . . . and her hand is holding something .
And blood is dripping from it.
Alarmed, James immediately used a spell (mobilius) to bring the girl to the Hospital Wing, the staircase incident forgotten.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Madam Pomphrey, I have a patient for you." James called, when he finally reached the Hospital Wing. It took him quite some time because his charms work isn't very good, and he had to stop every once in a while because his spell is diminishing.
"Oh dear!" The nurse called, coming out of her office.
Putting the mysterious girl in one of the beds, Madam Pomphrey checked her over. "Why . . . I've never seen her around here before!" The school nurse exclaimed, "Technically I would know every student and staff here in Hogwarts!"
James looked at the medical nurse in question. If this girl isn't a student, then who is she? Why is she wearing Hogwarts' uniform with a Prefect badge? Questions filled James mind as the nurse treated the girl's hand.
"Thank goodness it's just a scratch." Said the medical veteran. "But she shouldn't be playing with glass though, it's not safe."
After disposing the shards of glass from the red head's grasp, Madam Pomphrey spotted James in the corner.
"James dear, don't you have a class to go to right now? Why are you still here? Shoo, shoo!" Madam Pomphrey called, gently pushing the dark haired boy out the doors. "You may visit the girl after class."
With that, the entrance to the Hospital Wing was tightly shut. Giving it one last glance, James trotted back to his respective class.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After dinner, James secretly went up the dormitories to grab his invisibility cloak. He didn't tell the rest of the Marauders where he's going . . . after all, he wanted to uncover this mystery by himself. He'll talk with the girl, but only if she's awake and she's alone.
Creeping into the Hospital Wing once more silently, James approached the girl.
The red head is definitely awake, but she was looking at the other patient that occupied the bed beside hers, her startling emerald green eyes unblinking. The similarity between her and Lily frightens him . . . will Lily become this beautiful one day?
Looking over to where the girl was starring, James found himself watching the sleeping form of none other than Lily Evans. Her head was wrapped up in bandages as well as various places. It seems like she's gotten badly mistreated somehow.
The unwanted feelings of guilt are sneaking its way up in James' mind again.
"She's suffering . . . " The girl, shaking her head, whispered to herself.
James heard the girl sigh before watching her turn her gaze back and starred right at him. Cold sweat broke out and James starred nervously back, looking into the depths of emerald green.
"Where am I?" The red head asked, looking at James. The young Gryffindor went uneasy. Is she talking to him or herself? Can she actually see through his invisibility cloak? Breaking his ponderings, James realized that the girl had gone into a daze, either that or really deep in thought.
Just then. Madam Pomphrey came out of her office and noticed that the girl has awakened.
"Oh! You're awake! How do you feel?"
"Just fine, thank you. By the way, may I ask what happened to this poor girl?"
"The poor thing fell down the staircase . . ." That sounds familiar . . . James thought. Wait, didn't he hear a group of people bullying someone by the staircase? Damn. Now he feels even worse.
"Make sure you don't bother her when she wakes up. She's suffered quite a damage to the head . . . she won't be able to see or think properly." Seeing the strange prefect nod, Madam Pomphrey left the room once more.
James, now feeling worse than before, ponders whether or not he should leave now. Before the dark haired youth decided on what to do, however, Lily stirred and woke up. The flower sat up in her bed and stared straight ahead, her face still devoid of any trace of emotions. Quite unnerving, James thought. The other girl, however, stepped out of her bed and sat beside Lily.
"You're awake! How are you feeling?"
" . . ."
"Is there something bothering you, sweetie?" The girl asked, her face full of genuine concern.
Lily turned and looked at the mysterious teen, her eyes blank.
"You can tell me, I wouldn't tell anyone, I swear! I can lend you an ear."
"You don't have to pretend to be nice to me. I don't care."
"What happened?" It wasn't a question this time. It's a demand.
" . . ."
"Well?"
" . . . Why do you care so much?"
"Because you're suffering. Now tell me what's wrong."
" . . ."
"It's okay, let it out."
" . . My parents were killed. I'm number one on the school's bullying list. I trust no one. I love no one. Is that what you wanted to hear me say?" For the first time in months, a flicker of emotion could be heard in Lily's voice. She turned her head and looked directly at the older girl.
"My sister hates me. I have no home, no family, and no friends to turn to. If I die, it's to do the world a favour. No one cares so why are you now?" Annoyance and frustration filled Lily's voice and James winced at the words she spoke.
Suddenly, a pair of arms went around the flower.
Hugging the poor red head tight, the mysterious lass whispered to Lily's ears. "Let your tears out. A clean cry will help you feel so much better. If you don't, this depression will eat you alive from the inside! Don't do this to yourself; it's not worth it. You're losing your sparkle, a smile that some stranger just might fall for!"
"Tears are signs of weakness. My enemies will only prey on me harder if they see me at a moment of weakness." Lily mumbled to herself, recalling Lucious' words.
*SLAP*
Holding her cheek in shock, Lily looked at the other red head.
"It IS true that tears are signs of weakness, but there is a place and time for everything! You don't have to cry in front of anybody! You don't need to cry in a public place! You could've found a secret place to cry when you're alone! You have to learn WHEN and WHERE is a good time for you to let your feelings out!" The girl shouted angrily, but then softens.
"Let it out, sweetie. And then smile to the world to show just how brave you really are."
Rubbing her cheeks still, Lily looked down, emotions now flickering madly in her eyes. The older girl smiled and hugged the flower again, gently. "Let it out. It's just me here."
Encouraged by such kindness, the red head began to feel the coldness inside of her shatter. Perhaps this is how human warmth feels like. Lucious never did such thing; her parents just tried to please her, never mind Petunia . . . Maybe this is what a caring person should really be like . . . oh how she craves to have someone like that . . .
Then, a single tear rolled down Lily's face, followed by a sob.
She doesn't know why . . . tears are coming down like Niagara Falls and she just can't stop them.
"There, there. That's it; let it all out . . . now tell me what's bothering you." The other red head soothed her while patting on her back.
Sniffing and weeping into the shoulder of the apparent prefect, Lily mumbled, her voice trembling.
"I-I want the others to s-stop p-picking on me for no r-reason . . . *sob* . . . I-I want P-Petunia to l-like me a-and a-at least t-treat me like a f- family . . . I-I want ma and p-pa to be a-alive s-still . . . a-and I-I want the D-Dark L-Lord to d-die . . . *sob* . . ."
Lily tightened her hold on the girl, "B-But most of a-all . . . I-I want s- someone t-to care . . . someone *sob* like T-Tom . . ."
Lily continued weeping and the other red head just continued patting her back.
'Tom . . . I've heard of that name somewhere before . . .' The red head thought.
James, feeling guilt and sorrow beyond his imagination, felt that this is a good time for him to depart. Lily wouldn't want to catch him watching her 'moment of weakness', as she puts it.
Silently, he slipped out of the dark infirmary.
The next morning, when Madam Pomphrey walked out of her office, she was greeted with the sight of two red heads holding each other, fast asleep. One with dry tears.
The old nurse smiled. It's about time the poor girl released her feelings.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"So Jamsie, where were you last night?" Sirius asked casually, gulping down a cake roll.
"Like I said, in the library." James answered equally as casual while, chewing his scrambled eggs.
"Yuck. Don't talk while you're eating, especially while eating eggs. It's not a pleasant sight for one sitting in front of you, you know." Remus made a face at James but he ignored the young werewolf.
"But James, we went to the library and didn't see you there." Peter said, looking at the addressed boy questionably.
"Well, I uh . . ."
"Let me guess. You only said that to get rid of us. I'm hurt." Sirius declared, looking away from the boy sitting next to him.
"I'm sorry you guys, but there's something that I just had to take care of."
"Say you're sorry." The pouting boy said.
"I'm sorry."
"Say you'll never do anything of the sort ever again . . . at least not that obviously."
"umm. . . " Remus looked at Sirius like he's crazy. James grinned.
"I'm sorry, next time I'll make it less obvious."
Sirius turned back to the group, "That's my boy! Alright, you're forgiven."
Remus sighed and Peter laughed.
"So tell us, James, what exactly were you doing last night?" The petite blonde asked.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Miss . . . the headmaster would like to see you." Professor McGonagall said, gesturing for the girl to follow her to Dumbledore's office the next day.
"Okay." When the red head got up, she felt her robes being tugged. She turned to see Lily holding onto her.
"You'll be back, won't you?" The small flower asked hesitantly, "You don't have to if you don't want to though . . ."
The girl smiled reassuringly, "I will."
Without another word, the girl followed the strict teacher out of the Hospital Wing.
Stepping into the glamorous room, the mystifying prefect looked on in awe. Professor McGonagall left a while ago and the headmaster still hasn't shown up. She gasp softly as she spotted Fawkes, the phoenix owned by Dumbledore.
She walked over silently and watched the red bird, and it stared at her back, flapping its wings.
"Beautiful, isn't it? Phoenixes truly are wonderful creatures." Said a voice from above the staircase.
She looked up and saw an elderly man with long white beard and a kind expression. He seems spirited with sparkles, she thought as Dumbledore sat down in his seat.
"So, what has brought you to Hogwarts?" The headmaster inquired.
"Umm . . . I don't really know."
"Well, let's start easy then. What is your name?"
"I'm . . ." A look of dismay suddenly appeared on her face, "I-I don't know . . ."
The headmaster gave the shaken girl a look of sympathy, "Well, the situation stands thus. Why don't we call you Rose for now. Since you wears our Prefect badge, why don't you resume the position as well? Madam Pomphrey, the school nurse, reported that you were apparently holding shards of glass from an unusual time turner. It is hypothesized that you are either from the past or from the future. Before we can figure out exactly where and when you left, it is best that you stay here with us." The old professor smiled and winked. "And I'm sure a certain other student of ours would appreciate your presence."
Rose returned his smile weakly and uncertainly. "Thank you, professor."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rose was just walking out of the office when the four marauders came running to her. She recognizes the one with dark hair and glasses, but not the other three. They seem to have spotted her and stopped.
"Hello! Are you new to the school?" James asked brightly.
" Umm . . . yes, that's right. My name is Rose and I'm a prefect."
"Well my name is Sirius. This is James," Sirius said, nodding towards his best friend, "And this is Remus and Peter."
"It's very nice meeting you all."
"So your wound healed? Madam Pomphrey is such a good nurse, isn't she?" James mentioned the incident nervously. What if she doesn't know that he was the one who brought her to the infirmary? Fortunately Rose replied, much to his relief.
"Oh yes. And thank you very much for bring me there yesterday." She smiled politely, and James reddened a little.
The Marauders watched James in suspicion as he waved the red head when she left.
*~*~*~*~* two hours later~*~*~*~*~*
"You like her, don't you?" Peter asked the question the other two marauders have in their mind for a while.
"NO~~~~~!!!!! Pete! How can you EVER think of such a thing???"
"Well, there ARE hints . . ." Remus said, smiling evilly.
"Oh yea! Like when you went all red while talking to her this afternoon . . ." Sirius added, also smiling at James.
Going red again, the Gryffindor Seeker was going to protest when two red heads entered the Great Hall.
It was Rose with a hesitant Lily behind her.
"It's alright, I'll sit with you." Rose smiled gently down at Lily who didn't reply.
By the time the two flowers had sat down by the Gryffindor Table, most of the school's populace has their eyes on them. Not only are they curious about the stranger, they're wondering why anyone would dare to go near the 'Loner Evans'.
James on the other hand, was relieved a bit to see that emotions are now playing in Lily's eyes . . . she's no longer blank. That's a good sign.
"Guys, you know what? I think we should stop harassing Lily." James turned to the rest of the Marauders.
Sirius eyes widened, Remus looked at him in shock, and Peter seems confused.
"W-Why?" Sirius stuttered.
"You seem to hate her guts and now you're going to stop revenge? Did something happen?" Remus asked, hiding his joy.
"I thought you hate her, James." The small blond boy questioned.
When the young Gryffindor was about to answer, Dumbledore stood up to announce the arrival of Rose.
"Attention everyone. As you may have noticed, (Who hasn't? Sirius thought) that a new student has entered our ranks. Her name is Rose and she will be a sixth year Gryffindor Prefect. Please welcome her and make her feel at home."
Rose stood up and smiled at the student body that are now applauding. Many boys noticed how cute she is and tried to give her a seducing smile. She merely replied with a wink, nothing more.
"Something came up. I'll tell you guys later." Was James' only reply.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For the following weeks after Rose's first appearance, people has gotten used to her staying by Lily Evans' side. It appears that she is some sort of pillar of support for the young red head. What's more astonishing though, is that the Marauders had stopped harassing the poor Lily.
They even apologized for being the prats they are.
Of course, the small flower was very nervous at first, but with the reassurance from the older red head, she was able to accept their request for forgiveness. Of course, the Marauders got a not-so-empty death threat from Rose that if they should do something even close to pranking the little girl, she will personally beat them up so bad they won't be able to walk properly for the next three months.
She proved herself by cursing Lucious who was watching the Marauders apologizing and laughing at them.
Now Rose on the other hand, is one who zoned out often for whatever strange reason. She would be walking with Lily at one point and then suddenly stop and look deep in thought, or when she is in Potions with her fellow six years and then zone out, which causes havoc in the small dungeon.
That's how she came to be known as the Pensive Girl. Whenever someone mentions the title, the others would immediately know whom they're talking about. However, something happened during the middle of May.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Lily, I know this will be hard for you," Dumbledore began as he looked at Lily in the eyes in his office. "But I'm afraid Rose will no longer be able to stay here in Hogwarts."
"W-Why???" fear began to spread out in the petite red head's mind. "I-I don't want her to go yet! S-She's like a sister to me . . . if she leaves, I don't kn-"
"I understand, Lily." The headmaster held up his hand.
"Because of this, I am offering you to request anyone you would like to stay with you for a short while until you calm down."
Thinking that she had no choice in the matter, Lily sighed sadly.
". . . Then I'd like to see Tom. I want Tom to be here."
"And may I ask who Tom is?"
"My guardian Tom. Tom Riddle."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nobody knew what happened, but a few days later, the Pensive Girl disappeared and was replaced by a guy. Everyone stayed away from him because he has this dark aura around him that made him seem really scary. A few boys missed the happy and friendly Rose.
Lily and Tom like to hang out around the balcony outside the Astronomy Tower during free times, and so everyone avoided that place. And today was one such day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Looking out the one small balcony of Hogwarts, Lily leaned against the railings contently watching the scenery with Tom beside her.
"How do you feel, flower?" The older boy asked, voice full of warmth.
"I feel a bit better now . . . " After that reply, the duo were once again left in silence.
Goofing around, the Marauders ran up to the astronomy tower, laughing. Suddenly spotting Lily and a strange boy leaning by the balcony, they immediately silenced and hid behind the door to the balcony and peeked. Curiosity overcame them and they wanted to see what's up.
"You know . . . " Lily began after what seems like forever, "You were the first person who ever cared for me, Tom. You were like the brother I never had."
Young Riddle does not like where this conversation is going.
"When we first met, you were very kind and gentle, and cared about how I feel."
"It was my pleasure, Lily. You're a nice kid."
Lily swallowed, feeling uneasy to continue after that remark. "But a-after what happened . . . after what happened, I-I really can't bear to see you anymore . . ."
Tom looked at Lily pointedly, confusion shown on his pale complexion. The red head did nothing to look his way.
"So I thought that maybe it would be best if we don't see each other anymore . . ."
"Lily . . ."
"I-I'm sorry! B-but it's very painful for me to see you now . . . every time I see you, everything that happened that night all come flooding back to me . . . these vivid images of those memories haunted my dreams, even when I am awake they taunt me like the former Marauders . . ." The three boys winced.
"S-so I'm very regretful to say that I don't think I am capable of joining you . . . I-I just want to leave it all behind."
The Marauders watched as Lily suddenly held the other boy tightly before heading towards them with eyes full of unshed tears. The one Lily called Tom was showing hatred beyond comparison on his face, however. James feared what he will do.
"So that wench did do more damage than I would've thought . . . But I must say, my plans did backfired in some parts." Riddle said, facing the retreating back of the flower and at the same time, holding up his wand.
Lily turned around in confusion, but before she could question Tom any further, a blinding flash of blue light surrounded her and she knew no more.
Lily fell to the ground in a heap as the Marauders watched in horror. Tom lowered his wand, walked over and knelt next to the fallen girl and smirked evilly, his blood red eyes dulling. He whispered to the unconscious red head, but just loud enough for the hidden three to hear.
"I've made you forget everything before . . . and I can do it again. Don't worry, dear flower . . . these "horrid" memories won't ever haunt your dreams again . . ."
Realization was downed to the three Marauders. As Tom carried Lily back down the Astronomy tower, the three boys immediately hid themselves in the shadows, their breathing shallow, heart full of nervousness. The evil dark- lord-to-be only paused for a moment to see if anyone's around before grinning evilly once more and walked down the steps of the tower.
The usually happy and brave third years released their breath as they watched the retreating steps of Tom Riddle. Different thoughts filled each of their minds.
'I've seen that blue light before . . . right after mama and papa were killed . . . then does that mean Lily never knew what happened? Was this Riddle guy the one who killed my parents instead?'
'Lily has forgotten everything before . . . so she never remembered who I was . . . of course she wouldn't remember!' Remus thought sadly. 'But there WERE hints that she was remembering . . . otherwise how would she know that I am a werewolf?'
'Oh my God . . . everything suddenly seemed even more complicated!' Sirius smacked himself on the head.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Madam Pomphrey . . .?" Tom called tentatively once he entered the infirmary, and the school nurse immediately walked out of her office.
"Oh dear! What happened to her this time?" Without hearing an answer, the medical maid instantly escorted Lily to a bed and tucked her in.
"I believe she's in shock, Madam Pomphrey." Riddle said respectably, "She's merely unconscious."
Nodding, the addressed nurse said, "Alright, just let her sleep until she wakes then. You may wish to stay with her, Riddle. I trust you won't do anything to her." Madam Pomphrey smiled at Tom before disappearing once more into her bureau.
After two hours, Lily's eyelids finally slowly lifted. However, the blank look returned to her eyes and no trace of emotions was visible once again.
"Lily, would you like to come with me? To get away from all this pain, to find relief in your miserable life? No one cares for you now except me." Tom asked softly beside the flower.
" . . . you're right, Tom. I don't really care anymore." Lily said blankly, her eyes not quite focused on the person she's speaking with and her voice devoid of emotion.
"I'll join you."
Tom Riddle smirked.
Tbc . . .
A/N: So what did you think of this chapter? Personally I didn't really like it because it was too rushed, but I'm trying to reach my deadline, so I'm just typing frantically without thinking it over afterwards. After all, this fanfic is only an outline for the comics I'm drawing anyway.
Well, I hope it's getting interesting. I'm really fascinated by werewolves lately (not because of HP) so I did some research, and I found some really interesting stuff I can insert in my future chaps so wait for it!
And lastly, please R&R! Thankies~*