4. Starving

"You know just what to say. Things that scares me; I should just walk away. But I can't move my feet. The more that I know you, the more I want to. Something inside me's changed. I was so much younger yesterday. I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you. Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo." – Hailee Steinfeld

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or song.

-O-

"Ugh," Raven let out a frustrated exhalation as her sore body fell back onto her round bed. The rest of her night had been spent meditating to calm herself down from her encounters with the most perfect being in the human specimen aka Jason Todd and the worst aka Red X. Now, she just wanted to fall into a deep slumber. Both of the guys had left her physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and staggered. The reason behind Jason's effect on her was obvious. Red X not so much. As soon as her and her teammates accepted the fact that they'd been defeated once again, Raven tried to rid her mind of the criminal. Yet, for some reason, she couldn't. She figured it had a lot to do with his random comments about putting a ring on her finger and treating women right. He'd even called her pretty and pressed his body against her own. Was she taking Starfire's place now that she was off limits or did Red X actually see something in her?

The latter would make sense, especially after the way he stared at her the day before. It caught her off guard at first, but if he had some kind of feelings for her, it made perfect sense. She noticed today that he wouldn't fight her. He even said something about not having to hurt her. It was all a little weird, but she had to admit, she was slightly flattered. Not many people liked her, and even though he was a villain, at least she knew he was capable of liking good.

Ding. Her cell phone chimed in her drawer full of miscellaneous items. She rarely took it out since the only people she normally communicated with were her teammates and they could reach her with the communicator. However, there was one new person she'd given her number. So, she reached into her drawer and pulled out the device to see who it could be.

'Sleep?' was displayed under a foreign number on the screen.

Raven smiled a miniature smile to herself and texted back, 'Yes, Mr. Todd. Why aren't you?'

'Can't sleep…got a lot on my mind.' Then, her phone chimed again before she could reply. 'If you're asleep, then how are you texting me?'

Raven rolled her eyes at her slip up then tried her best to come up with a snarky, poetic remark. 'What if I told you we're both dreaming?'

'This is cliché, but if we're dreaming, I don't think I ever want to wake up.'

'Why is that, Mr. Todd?'

'Cause you might be gone and then I'll just be nightmaring…if that's a word haha.'

Raven smirked to herself yet again and typed, 'You're really something else.'

'Would I be something else if I asked you out for a day on the town?'

Raven was more than thankful that no one could see the harsh blush on her cheeks. She couldn't believe she was being asked out on a date and by him of all people. 'Maybe…maybe not.'

'There's this wicked bookstore with a café up the street from my place I'd love to take you to…that is if you're willing to go.'

'Let me think about it,' she replied, then texted with the quickness. 'I'm ok with that.'

'Knew you'd give in haha. Let's say we meet at the city park by the swings for 3 and we can just walk over and you know, get to know each other better.'

'Sounds like a plan.'

'Sweet dreams, Dark Bird'

'Same to you, Mr. Todd'

-O-

Later that next day, Raven calmly walked onto the grounds of the city park. It was the middle of January so the grass was short and barren and the leaves on the tree were nonexistent. Yet, the day was sunny and bright with a vivid blue sky and cool breezes blowing every few seconds. It was the perfect day to fall head over heels for someone.

Raven continued to stroll calmly as she neared the playground. Then, as the sight of the swings appeared, her heart began to beat fast and hard against her chest. That's when it finally dawned on her. She'd never done anything like this before. She had no idea what to say, how to act, what to do with her hands. Nothing! Why-oh-why didn't she conjure up some advice from Starfire? Oh, that's right, because Starfire was already struggling with her own relationship; she didn't need Raven coming and bringing up old memories of fresh love and crushes.

As she approached the swings, she noticed Jason was nowhere in sight. If possible, her heart continued at a more ferocious pace. He wouldn't stand her up, would he? He didn't seem like that kind of dude and he genuinely seemed interested in getting to know her. Maybe he was just running late…

"You're having a lot of fun, aren't you, Dark Bird?" An invisible voice said from nearby. Raven was almost certain it belonged to Jason, but he was still nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, she heard shuffling and movement behind the large, wide oak tree standing in front of the swings and put two and two together.

The violet-haired girl smiled a miniscule smile at herself and her silly nervousness before rounding the tree and being faced with the back of him. "Nice of me to find you, Mr. Todd."

Jason's head snapped around with a happy sneer riding his face. He stayed in his squatting position for another second or two before hopping up, dusting himself off, and walking over to her. "Nice of you to show up. I could barely stand the wait."

Raven rolled playful eyes at what she thought was slight sarcasm and turned to look at what he'd been messing with before. "You have to be kidding me? Is that a raven?"

"Yeah," Jason smiled then breathed softly as he picked up the black-feathered bird, "it's beautiful, isn't it?"

The boy brushed the bird's feathers with his gentle touch and stepped closer to Raven so she could admire it as well. Raven's eyes grew large like a kid in the candy store at the creature. In all her eighteen years, she'd never actually seen the animal that was her namesake. It was kind of sad when you thought about it.

"Where did you find it? I had no idea there were some around Jump," she asked, looking up into the smirking green eyes of the taller boy in front of her.

Jason shook his head left to right. "I didn't find it. It found me." Raven gave him a perplexed stare, so he explained further, "I was sitting on the swings when it flew onto my knee. I could tell it wanted to play because it had a twig in its beak. So, I decided to play with it. Before I knew it, it was doing somersaults and rolling all over the ground."

"Wow," Raven uttered shyly, biting her bottom lip in the process. "I didn't even know they could do that."

"I think it was just lonely, you know," he continued casually and slowly strolled over to the swings. Raven followed and sat on the higher one next to him and the bird. "I think maybe it was some kind of sign. It was alone, but then it found me. Now, it seems much more content."

The moment Jason said that, the bird cawed loudly before spreading its large, jet-black, feathered wings and preparing to take flight right from his knee. Raven and the boy watched with big eyes in amazement. Neither of them had ever observed a bird so keenly. Finally, the raven croaked once more and took off into the breezy winds of the winter afternoon.

Jason's soft peach lips slightly parted as he watched the bird soar around them in circles before heading in another direction and leaving their sight completely. Finally, he continued, "Kind of like how I hope you will be."

Raven's eyes snapped from the sky and to the quiet boy slowly swinging next to her. "What do you mean?"

Jason hunched one almost nervous looking shoulder before turning to her with his pale green eyes piercing through her very soul. "I know you've been lonely for way too long, Raven. But you found me or maybe I found you. I don't know, but I hope I can make you the happiest girl on this earth."

Raven nodded an almost invisible nod and turned her attention to the oak tree that was standing in front of them. Her mind was going at a million miles per hour. She had no idea how to process what she'd been told. No man or woman or anyone for that matter had ever said such words to her. No one had ever seemed to care so much about her happiness and wellbeing. But how was that possible when he barely knew her. What did he see in her that she didn't see in herself?

"I think I'm ready," she whispered after a moment. Her voice was as dry and monotone as ever.

"Ready for what?" Jason asked softly.

Raven looked up at the sparkling blue sky and said with confidence and bravery, "I'm ready to test out my wings and fly."

Jason raised a slightly confused, slightly smart-alecky brow. "Can't you already fly, Dark Bird."

Raven's sincere face fell into a blunt frown. "Yes, Smarty, but," then she paused out of fear of seeming weird. Then, she remembered that, for some reason, Jason like her weirdness. He accepted it. So, she closed her eyes and took a deeper breath before finally exhaling it out. "But now I'm ready to open my heart and let my emotions soar. I'm tired of being scared of feeling. I might be part demon, but I have the right to be human. I want to feel free like there's nothing but soft, calming air surrounding me. Like there's no way I can fall down and like the only way I can go is up."

Jason smiled a smug grin when she finished her short but hearty monologue. Out of nowhere, he hopped off the swing and stood in front of her with his hand out. "Come with me."

-O-

"Remind me again why we're here?" Raven deadpanned as they roamed into an overly crowded amusement park. Apparently, a lot of people had decided to take advantage of the nice, warm and crisp January weather.

"The Odyssey," Jason dropped a succinct reply, then took her hand in his.

Raven pulled her fingers away and stopped dead in her tracks. "What about it? I mean other than the fact that it's an overrated classic and its prequel, the Iliad, is much more beautifully written, I can't say I understand what that has to do with this amusement park."

In return, Jason let out a short, simple chuckle and said, "Just follow me and you'll see exactly what I mean."

Raven narrowed her eyes in hesitation, but thought what the hay and followed the boy through the jam-packed park. Throughout the journey, she stayed a step behind him. Yet, every few seconds he would look back just to check to make sure she was A. Okay and B. Still there. A little part of Raven thought it was endearing the way he would look behind with a glint of hope, excitement, and fear in his youthful eyes. It touched her to know and feel just how badly he wanted her there.

When they finally reached their destination, which apparently was a long line full of horny teenagers and families of annoying kids and tired parents, Raven realized The Odyssey was the name of what appeared to be the tallest and fastest rollercoaster at the park. It was about 250 feet high with red and orange seats and rails. According to the sign in front of it, it moved at a whopping eighty-five miles per hour.

Raven crossed her arms across her chest and turned to the excited boy with the scowl of her father. "There's no way I'm getting on this thing, Jason."

Jason's excitement fell quicker than the 250-feet drop of the ride. "Give it a chance, Raven. It's going to help me teach you how to let go and feel free."

"And how is it going to do that?" she asked matter-of-factly.

"Just ride with me and you'll see," he rushed as they moved up a few steps in the line. Then, a playful smirk gracefully found his face as they halted in line right after the last two people that could fit. "Unless you're too scared."

Raven's face stayed blank but he could hear the growl ready to break through her voice. "I don't do fear," she said through gritted teeth.

"You can show me better than you can tell me." He pushed a chin length strand of violet hair behind her pale ear, making her shiver in her boots despite the warm weather. "Prove it to me."

"Fine," she snapped and shook her head so that her hair fell back by her red ear. "I'll get on the stupid ride."

"You won't regret it."

-O-

"Everyone ready?" the ride operator shouted moments later. Jason had insisted him and her take the very first seat in order to get the full sensation. Of course, she objected at first but eventually gave in when he teased her about being chicken again. There was no way she was going down as the Titan who was too scared to board a rollercoaster. She could fly for Pete's sake.

"Hold on tight, Sunshine," Jason whispered in her ear as the wheels of the small car slowly began to move forward.

Raven glared up at him then forced herself to stare ahead. 'Azar, that peak is really, really steep,' she thought to herself.

The closer they got to the edge of the peak, the harder her heart pounded against her chest. Ah, who was she kidding? She was TERRIFIED! The scared chatters and laughter of the people behind them surely didn't help. Her power of flight probably wouldn't even work with the level of fear she had in her at the moment. Even if it did, Jason had challenged her to not use her powers and to just enjoy the ride like a true human being. He insisted that it was the only way she'd truly be able to let go.

"This isn't going to end well," she murmured as loudly as possible over the noisy hum of the machine. "What if my powers go haywire?"

"Trust me! You'll be fine!" Jason shouted over all the noise. "Just clear your mind of any thoughts and let your heart and spirit do all the work!"

Raven took in what he said and figured it was a good idea as the ride took them up at an almost straight angle. She hated how slow it was moving. It only made the anticipation she was feeling build up more and more. Then, she dared to look down and almost crapped bricks. At this point, Mars seemed closer than the ground and the people below looked like mere pecks. Now, that could've been the result of her refusing to get eyeglasses after that last routine optometrist visit at the tower but she liked to think it was because they were too dang high in the air.

Soon, they neared the rounded top and Raven's heart dropped. She realized she'd never been so scared in her life. Not even Wicked Scary 3 or her father could compare. Yet, somehow someway things around her weren't going haywire. Everyone around look perfectly still and happy and no one was screaming, which must've meant that everything was normal. Nothing was blowing up and nothing was crashing. Finally, for a change, she wasn't ruining anything.

The weight of the whole world lifted off her shoulder right as their cart dropped over the curve and headed straight down the long, steep side. "Ahhhhhhhhh!" she screamed an adrenaline-filled shriek and held onto Jason's arm for dear life.

Jason cackled at her obvious fear but took her in his arms to protect her from the harsh winds as best he could. Then, he screamed as loud as he could manage as the force of the ride pushed their bodies in all directions, "I'm going to let go of you, Raven! And I want you to let go too! Don't hold anything back! Take in the wide blue sky and fresh air and let go! Be free! Fly, Dark Bird!"

Raven gripped onto his arm as long as she could before his own grip loosened around her and then disappeared altogether. Raven took in a nice inhalation of air with closed eyes and gradually removed each finger from his pulsing bicep. The smell of popcorn, cotton candy, sweaty kids, and clean air was smacking her right in the face. She could feel her stomach dropping and turning with each surprising loop and twist of the track. She practically hated the sensation and wanted more than anything for it to stop.

Without warning, she could hear her bravest Emoticons in her mind pushing her to be courageous and repeating the same words Jason had said moments before. So, with every ounce of courage in her body, she forced her eyelids apart and stared into the bright sky up above them. As high as they were and as fast as they were going, the sky, the clouds, and the sunlight were about all she could see other than the handsome man in her peripheral vision. It's amazing how she felt as if she was literally flying out of her seat. What was even more amazing was the fact that she could feel at all. At that moment, her essence was filled with true happiness and bliss; something she'd never experience in full effect before. But now, somehow, it was possible. She looked to her right and saw Jason staring at her with adoration and a sense of victory in his eyes. Her shoulder length hair flew loosely behind her head, giving her neck and shoulders a cool, tingling breeze she hadn't felt in a long time. Nothing on Earth could ruin this moment. She finally felt alive and warm and the best part was she got to experience it with the perfect guy. She giggled softly to herself and threw her hands in the air like she saw people do in the movies. After all the fear she'd felt just seconds before, now she didn't want the ride to end.

But she always knew all good things come to an end. Right as the ride was slowing down, she felt a gnawing, tightening pain in her stomach. Suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach in a nauseous, bloated type of way. She had no idea what this sickness was, but she had a feeling their date was about to be ruined.

-O-

A/N: I actually haven't read over this chapter in weeks, maybe even a month. I don't know but I haven't uploaded in forever because I haven't really had any motivation to and I've been caught up in working on my own fiction novel. But today I had a sudden surge of motivation and decided to just upload the next chapter before I forgot. Hopefully, I can find my inspiration for this story again. I have it all planned out and I think it'll be pretty good. I do already have about 8 or 9 chapters, so we should be set for a while. I've been reading a lot of writing books, so maybe you'll see an improvement in my writing within the next few chapters. Anyway lol, please excuse any grammatical errors and I hope it's decent. Thanks for reading! Also, shout out to everyone favoriting and adding this story to your alerts; I see you :)

argent82: He really is lol, and I'm glad you're liking it more. RobRae will always be our OTP though so I have to at least give them moments together :) Thanks for the review!