Disclaimers:
Disclaimers:
This is a parody of Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door. All characters and various other royalties of Paper Mario are all reserved to Nintendo and Intelligent System as this is for parody use only.
This is an entirely separate universe from the original Paper Mario universe, so expect many inconsistencies made on purpose for comedic effect.
This story contains offensive content such as racist jokes, sexual content, sexism, drug use, a fuckload of violence, and a lot of other offensive shit that we can make jokes about. If you don't like offensive humor then I recommend not reading this but if you still decide to then please leave a comment about how offended you are, I'll get a kick out of it.
If you loved this game as a child and wish to preserve it as pure and full of childhood wonder in your mind then we recommend not reading this because it will fuck you up.
This parody is rated M for ENJOY!
Super Mario and the
Thousand Year Drama!
(Kai Version)
Chapture 4: Of Glitz and Gloryholes!
Anticipation Music: Dragonball z American soundtrack - the saga continues by Bruce FaulconerLast time on Super Mario and the Thousand Year Drama, Mario and his strange pals arrived back to Gettoport yet again to learn about their new destination for the star in Boggly Woods where they made it to a giant tree. They were immediately encountered by a series of X-Nauts and they rescued the rest of the punies. Team M as always, used their smashing abilities to take on Robotnik in a fight for the 2nd star. Stay interested and find out what happened this issue of SUPER MARIO! AND THE THOUSAND! YEAR! DRAMA!
Lets skip the 1st 3 sub-chaptures since they're on the uncut version. Wanna find out what happens, you know what to do.
Chapture 4 - 4: Back to da Ghetto Again!
[Boggly Woods]
Mario: Well that was 1 retarded adventure.
Mario lit up a cigarette.
Koops: Where did you get that cigarette?
Mario: Who knows...
Flurrie: Shall we be off to Ghettoport now?
Mario: Shit, your really coming with us?
Flurrie: Why yes of course my lovely little lads! What kind of person would I be if I left the team and went home only to be so far away from my sexy team?
Goombella: A great person!?
Koops: Uhh... Mario? Are you gonna finish that cigarette?
Mario: Actually. I just lit it randomly. I don't really know why I just did that. I keep forgetting I don't smoke these.
Mario carelessly chucked his cigarette behind his shoulder landing somewhere on the Great Tree of Might.
Mario: Let's get going.
While they all took off, the cigarette Mario threw away started slowly lighting the Great Tree of Might on fire. The best part is, is that none of them noticed that the tree was about to burn down. Also, the Punies were still trapped in prison so they pretty much all died. YAAAAAY!
Koops: Do you guy's smell something burning?
[Ghettoport Sewer]
Flurrie: Ahh... The 1000 year door you all have been talking about. Mmm... It's so big and pink and deep It reminds me of Ghettoport's vadgelly...
Goombella: It's not a fucking vadgelly Flurrie. Its a Door. We need the 7 Dedly stars to open it.
Flurrie: Well I bet I can find another way to open it early.
Goombella: Sure... Now Mario, stand on the center podium of the shrine to activate that ritual from last time.
Mario: Yeah yeah! I know how to do it. I've done it 2ice before
As usual, blu rays bursted out of the shrine and through the circumference. Both the Stars of Wrath and Envy began glowing in their designated location. Everything was spinning. The map soon burnt another illustration on the upper side of the map. This time, it was a floating babylon like dojo propelled by bursting flames from the bottom possibly ravishing the OZone layer. Also, there was a giant Chain Chomp in the middle that might even be the boss they have to face this chapture. This was shown floating between Hooktail's castle and the Great Tree of Might. Sky level?
Koops: Wow! Check it out Mario! This level looks like it's gonna be in the sky. Huh. Looks like we need to get our jet packs huh?
Mario: Shut up Koops!
Goombella: Hey Flurrie! You can stop licking the door! Its not like its gonna open that way!
Flurrie: Give it time girl. It just needs to get a little more wet from my luscious tongue.
Chapture 4 - 5: Frankly don't give a Fuck
Mario started slamming the door with his hammer unsuccessfully.
Mario: Fuck! He must have bought a better door this time!
Flurrie: Mario. Allow me...
Flurrie knocked Mario out of the way with her stupid boobs and she farted on the door causing even the door to get so grossed out, that it disintegrated.
Frankly was seen hangin' himself from a noose with his pants off while passed out. Team M was surely surprised.
Goombella: OH MY GOD! PROFESSOR FRANKLY IS DED!1
Goombella started tearing up again.
Goombella: NOOOOO! SOME 1! CUT THAT ROPE! NOW!
Goombella kicked Koops' shell causing him to spin and fly at the rope cutting it down like a Bob Chandler on the internet.
Goombella: GIVE HIM AIR! NOW! SOME1!
Flurrie: I'll do it!
Flurrie grabbed Frankly in a provocative like grip and started giving him errotic CPR in the grossest way possible.
Frankly: *COUGH COUGH* BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!Ugg... Where am I? and EWW! WHAT'S THAT GROSS TASTE IN MY MOUTH!? I'VE HAVEN'T TASTED SO MUCH ASS, SINCE I WAS IN VIETNAM!
Flurrie: Why thats my breath hunny... From eating my own ass.
Koops: Wait, so professor, Why were you trying to kill yourself with your pants down?
Frankly: Well.. Lets see... How do I explain... Are you kids familiar with Auto Erotic Asphyxiation? It's an act for an intensifying orgasm by depriving the body of oxygen. In other words, choking yourself gives you a really good high while also giving an even greater orgasm. It can be performed by both sexes, and can be done alone while masturbatiing, or during sex.
Goombella: Okay okay! Geez! Thats a little too much information.
Frankly: I must have passed out in the middle of it. Its good you came or else I probably would have died. I guess that's a good thing...yes...
Goombella: Yeah... Well, anyway, we found the 2nd star! So, you know, we did the whole ritual shit and all. You know anything about this new location on the map?
Frankly: Hmmmm, I'm assuming you all are familiar with the show The Glory Hole?
Flurrie: Go on...?
Mario: You mean that show on that dying network; EFPN? (Entertainment and FanFiction Programming Network) That Frikken place floats in the sky!? I thought it just took place in some crummy part of Indiana!
Frankly: Stunning isn't it? The name of the floating island/ town it's in is known as Glitzville. Families go there on vacation to get drunk and puke sweat and cheap expired hotdog meat at the contestants.
Goombella: So wait? How the hell are we supposed to get there if it's floating in the fucking sky?
Koops: Heh... Maybe we can just drink some Redbull. You know... I'd become a Paratroopa, you become a Paragoomba, 1 of us can carry Mario, and Flurrie can already fly!
Goombella: ...*Sigh* God damnit Koops. That's just a dumb fucking gag in the commercials!
Koops: Wait. Really? I've never had a Redbull before so idk.
Frankly: It's common knowledge that red bulls do not give you wings you TWIT!
Frankly grabbed the map and tapped Koops in the nose.
Koops: Oww. That actually hurt.
Koops' bandaid spot on his nose actually started bleeding.
Frankly: NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I CALL THE HAWAIIAN MAFIA ON YOUR ASSES! I GOTTA GO BACK TO CHOKING MYSELF WHILE MASTERBATING!
Koops: I like how you never put your pants back on.
Frankly: YOU OWE ME A NEW ROPE FOR HANGING MYSELF!
Frankly kicked the awkward team out of his house with a power kick.
Frankly: AND STOP GROSING OUT MY DOORS!
Mario: Fuck that guys a dick! Lets go to the bar and get drunk or something.
Flurrie: I have a better idear!
Flurrie: Every1 Grab my Boob!
Mario, Goombella, and Koops Grabbed Flurrie's left boob.
Goombella: Eww...
Flurrie: TO GLITZVILLE!
Flurrie and friends flew away off to the direction of Glitzville with Mario and the rest of the Team grabbing her saggy veiny ass cans abandoning the blimp entirely. If any of them let go of her, they will die... forever!
Chapture 4 - 9 to 4 - 20: What happens in Glitzville stays in Glitzville.
[Glitzville]
After skipping 3 sub-chaptures that none of you reading this would have cared about, Flurrie landed the gang of morons on the plateau of the floating castle- I mean... Dojo. There were food courts everywhere and other kinds of industrialized concepts. In the far back of the floating man-made island was the dojo itself with the Chain Chomp above the doors making the dojo look scary. Oh wait. I explained that in the map update. Thanks to everything smelling like fast food, tons of drunk families with their drunk ass kids were walking around mindlessly trying to stuff their faces with just about any gross edible thing they can find laying around. Hey, Ever wonder how Glitzville can find all of the fossil fuel to make this small city float? Like, holy fuck.
Goombella: This is TOTALLY crazy! I never thought I would ever stand on a floating island in my life! I mean, wow! You're probably used to it Mario, but still!
Mario: Well you have. It's called a planet!
Flurrie: Now where can we find this Gloryhole business... My cooter is curious...
Mario: It's right in front of us you floating cesspool of a creature!
After all that misheff, Team M arrived in the lobby of the Glitzville Gloryhole; a hole for glory and nothing more...
Koops: Damn! This place be huge! Liek mah dick. Hehe.
Goombella: *Sigh*
Mario: I don't give a shit, cause your a FUCKING PUSSY! Now where's the fucking star?
Goombella: It doesn't look like it's around here.
Flurrie: Maybe it's behind those big vadgelly looking doors over there?
Goombella: But doesn't that lead to the arena or something?
Koops: Don't we otta gotta pay for dem tix to see some trix?
Mario: You see an usher around here? Lets just check inside. If not, I can just smash the engines and sink this floating island killing every1 and everything. That way, we can just look through the rubble and find the star no problem!
Goombella: Yeah... Lets just go through the door and hopefully the star isn't being used as like, the champion's belt ornament of something. lol.
The dumb team entered the loud arena where Mario and the strange heroes were encountered by the obnoxious roars of drunkened spectators. Some of them managed to get distracted over the fact that Mario's right fucking there!
Mario: So this is what it's like inside the glory hole huh?
Max (Age 13): HOLY CRAP! YOU GOTTA BE SHITTING ME!
Michael (Age 39): I WANNA RAPE YOU SO BADLY!
Jake (Age 31): IS THAT RON JEREMY!?
Ryan (Age 46): HEY MARIO! PUNCH ME REALLY HARD IN THE FACE!
Dan (Age 16): PLAY WITH MY BUTT!
Nick (Age 25): MARIO! HEY MARIO! OVER HERE! CAN YOU SIGN MY BALLS!?
The random fan pulled down his own pants to exposing his ball sack for Mario.
Mario: How about this.
Mario kicked the guys balls instead.
Nick: OUCH! EVERY1! I JUST GOT MY BALLS KICKED BY MARIO! #MARIOKICKEDMYBALLSEVERY1! #MARIOKICKEDMYBALLSEVERY1!
Will (Age 39): MARIO! CAN YOU HELP ME WIPE!?
Alexis (Age 34): MARIO! CAN YOU FART ON MY BABY!? LEMME GET MY CAMERA 1ST!
Chris (Age 69): SONIC THE HEDGEHOG IS WAY BETTER!
Cory (Age 35): MARIO! CHECK OUT THIS HENTAI I MADE OF YOU! YOU LIKE IT!?
Mario: I don't fucking believe this shit.
Alex (Age 24): MARIO GIVES ME AIDS!
Chase (Age 42): O GEEZ! MARIO! IM SO NERVOUS!
Kelly (Age 18): BRING BACK YOUR OLD DOWN B MOVE IN SMASH BROS!
Mario: This... is getting annoying fast. Lets go before I kill all of my asstarded fans in here.
Koops: Wait a sec YO! I'm diggin this fight! These moves are tight!
Koops pointed to the fight directing the team to pay attention to the fight. A giant overgrown retarded conary who thinks he's a Hawk on steroids with a black speedo who has a low functioning John Cena complex beating the crap out of a Koopa shaped scary looking robot.
Rawk Hawk (Age 27): ALRIGHT LADES AND DJENTS! CHECK YOUR WATCHES AND TELL ME,
WHAT TIME IT IS!?
The Audience: 1:03 PM!
Rawk Hawk: NO GOD DAMNIT! ITS RAWK O' CLAWK!
Rawk Hawk jumped in the air and viciously wrapped his legs around the Dark Koopatrol (Age 36) causing him to fall on his back. Then he proceeded in an act of overkill by curb stomping his fucking balls.
Dark Koopatrol: OW!
Mario: OH THAT SHIT LOOKS SO STAGED!
The speakers blasted the sound of a distorted power chord in an E flat tone. What? Does any1 else reading this play guitar?
Rawk Hawk: THATS RIGHT YOU FUCKING FAGGOT! I WIN! YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF FOR BEING SUCH A STINKING LOSER FAGGOT LOSER! NEXT TIME YOU FIGHT ME, YOU BETTER THINK AGAIN UNLESS YOU WANNA GET RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKEEEEED BRAH!
The Host of the Glory Hole Vince McMa- I meant... Grubba (Age 59) the fat purple big lipped cowboy talking fish duck penguin turtle dinosaur thing with Ozzy Osbourne's Shades, red pony tail, tuxedo for people who do alot of cocaine only, and manly fedora, and a neckbeard stepped onto the ring where he declared Rawk Hawk as the new champion.
Grubba: YIIIHAAA! LOOK LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A NEW CHAMPION IN THE ROOTIN' TOOTIN' GLORYHOLE!
Rawk Hawk: YOU WEAKLINGS MIGHT AS WELL STICK TO READING FAN FICTION, OK? CAUSE I'LL HURT YOU...BY PUSHING YOU! YEAH! 1 RULE CAUSE I'M THE CHAMPION! RAWK HAWK IS THE CHAMP! HARDYHARHARHARHARHARHARHARHARHARHARHAR! RAWK HAWK STYLE!
Grubba: Ho ho ho! Sorry. I didn't mean to make my laugh sound like Santa... ANYWAY, HERE'S THE CHAMPION'S BELT PASSED DOWN FOR ALMOST 10000000000000 YEARS!
Grubba ripped off the champion belt from the Dark Koopatrol's... MOUTH, and handed Rawk Hawk the belt in which he narcissistically raised in the air as if he was some kind of champion in a wrestling match. ... Oh wait a minute... shit. Also as Goombella predicted and going by the game itself the Star of Greed was used as the ornament for the champion belt...
Koops: MARIO! LOOKY LOOKIDY LOOK LOOK! DAT RAWKA FLAWKA HAWKA GUY'S GOT THAT ... uhh... THE STAR WE LOOKIN' FOR!
Mario: Holy shit! That's the quickest we've ever spotted the star! That was easy! Alright, let me make my way through the crowd and kick his ass!
Goombella: No Mario!
Mario ignored Goombella and trampled his way through the Dojo like the inconsiderate wop he is injuring 100s of audience members trampling over their kids and infants without a care in the world. Welp, obviously for the star. But you get the idea.
Rawk Hawk: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GAYLORD!?
Mario: EXCUSE ME! BUT THAT STAR ON THE CHAMPION'S BELT? YEAH, THAT BELONGS TO US ASSHOLE!
Rawk Hawk: WHOA NOW! GET AWAY FROM MY BELT UNLESS YOU WANNA GET RAWK KNAWKED!
Grubba: WELL HOOOOOOOOOOO NELLY! WE GOT A RANDOM AUDIENCE MEMBER COMIN UP HERE CHALLENGIN THE CHAMP TO A HOOTENANNY HOEDOWN! SECURITIMS! SECURITIMS! TAKE THIS GUY OUT OF HERE!
As Mario approached the stage, 100 Blue clones with glasses and suits and yellow mo hawks called Securitims blocked the way.
100 Securitims: FREEZE! STEP AWAY FROM THE STAGE!
Mario: WHAT YOU ASSCLOWNS GONNA DO ABOUT IT!? HIT ME!?
All of the Securitims tackled Mario like an overblown game of football.
Goombella: MARIO! YOU FOOL! HOW COULD YOU EXPOSE OUR PLANS LIKE THIS!?
Koops: Gee wilikers Goombella. Is he gonna be alright?
Flurrie: Wait. Look! He's breaking out!
In the hied of the moment, Mario Raised his arms out like a Berzerker and knocked all 100 Securitims flat onto the wall!
Audience: IS THAT MARIO!?
Grubba: BUT I….I…. JUST MADE A NEW BATCH OF THOSE CLONES!
Mario: Alright assholes! Hand over the star! I'm not fucking around here!
Goombella: Mario! What are you doing!? Can't you see your making a huge scene!? It's probably gonna go on the news!
Flurrie: Well I don't know… I kind of like having all this attention. It sure takes me back to my porno days.
Goombella: You're not helping!
Mario: FUCK YOU! I do what I want cause I'm fucking Mario!
Grubba: Hmm… WELL SEEING AS THOUGH YOU OUTMATCHED THE SECURITIMS, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN USING ALL OF OUR FIGHTERS AT 1CE!
Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Goombella: Aww shit…. I can't believe you made a scene this bad.
Mario: It's what I do best! I think my fans can agree.
Mario: ALRIGHT! WE'LL ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! IF I WIN, I GET THE STAR ON THE BELT!
Grubba: AND IF I WIN, … I'M SUING YOU HAVE HAVING YOU AND YOUR CREW EXECUTED IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE!
Koops: I love that Pokemon!
Goombella: He's talking about killing us!
Koops: But he's joking right?
Mario: Yes. This wrestling shit is fake as fuck and they should be ashamed.
Grubba: ALRIGHT! LET'S BRING EM OUT NOW!
The speakers suddenly blasted Walk by Pantera as an army of different generic Mario enemies came forth getting ready to battle. And they all seemed to have had full health. They had 5 Goombas, 2 KP Koopas, 1 KP Paratroopa, 3 Pokeys, 3 Dull Bones, 2 Spineys, 1 Lakitu, 2 Bandits, 2 Big Bandits, 1 Pale Piranha, 1 Dark Puff, 1 Pider, 3 Hyper Bald Clefts, 4 Bobombs, 2 Iron Clefts, 2 Red Spike Tops, 2 Bristles, 2 Shady Koopas, 1 Shady Paratroopa, 1 Fuzzy, 1 Green Fuzzy, 1 Flower Fuzzy, 1 Red Majikoopa, 1 White Majikoopa, 1 Green Majikoopa, 1 Dark Craw, 1 Hammer Bro, 1 Boomerang Bro, 1 Fire Bro, 2 Red Chomps, 1 Dark Koopatrol, and 1 Rawk Hawk.
Rawk Hawk: YOU THINK YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE LIKES OF US YOU TERRORISTS!? YOU MESS WITH RAWK HAWK, YOU GET YOUR SAWKS KNAWKED!
Mario: FINE! YOUR 100, against me and my 3! We'll kick your ass and no 1 will feel bad!
Goombella: Great. Now they think we're terrorists….
Mario: Relax. This is nothing. Who the hell do you think I am?
Rawk Hawk: A GAY TERRORIST!
Koops: Your Mario right?
Mario: Shut up Koops!
[BIG ASS BATTLE MODE]
Mario: Power Level 63
Goombella: Power Level 50
Koops: Power Level 56
Flurrie: Power Level 30
FP: 10
V.S.
Goomba 1: Power Level 3
Goomba 2: Power Level 3
Goomba 3: Power Level 3
Goomba 4: Power Level 3
Goomba 5: Power Level 3
KP Koopa 1: Power Level 12
KP Koopa 2: Power Level 12
KP Paratroopa: Power Level 12
Pokey 1: Power Level 10
Pokey 2: Power Level 10
Pokey 3: Power Level 10
Dull Bones 1: Power Level 3
Dull Bones 2: Power Level 3
Dull Bones 3: Power Level 3
Lakitu: Power Level 10
Spiney 1: Power Level 18
Spiney 2: Power Level 18
Bandit 1: Power Level 10
Bandit 2: Power Level 10
Big Bandit 1: Power Level 20
Big Bandit 2: Power Level 20
Pale Piranha: Power Level 8
Dark Puff: Power Level 6
Pider: Power Level 10
Hyper Bald Cleft 1: Power Level 12
Hyper Bald Cleft 2: Power Level 12
Hyper Bald Cleft 3: Power Level 12
Bob-Omb 1: Power Level 12
Bob-Omb 2: Power Level 12
Bob-Omb 3: Power Level 12
Bob-Omb 4: Power Level 12
Iron Cleft 1: Power Level Infinity
Iron Cleft 2: Power Level Infinity
Red Spike Top 1: Power Level 38
Red Spike Top 2: Power Level 38
Bristle 1: Power Level 9
Bristle 2: Power Level 9
Shady Koopa 1: Power Level 30
Shady Koopa 2: Power Level 30
Shady Paratroopa: Power Level 30
Fuzzy: Power Level 5
Green Fuzzy: Power Level 13
Flower Fuzzy: Power Level 15
Red Majikoopa: Power Level 21
White Majikoopa: Power Level 21
Green Majikoopa: Power Level 21
Dark Craw: Power Level 80
Hammer Bro: Power Level 32
Boomerang Bro: Power Level 21
Fire Bro: Power Level 26
Red Chomp 1: Power Level 53
Red Chomp 2: Power Level 53
Dark Koopatrol: Power Level 175
Rawk Hawk: Power Level 120
[TURN 1]
Goombella: OH MY GOD! THERE'S SO MANY OF THEM!
Mario: I love how people here are making a show out of this with random people stepping in.
Goombella: Mario! Come on! This is serious! What do we do?
Mario started holding up the Star of Wrath
Mario: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU"VE ESPECIALLY BEEN A PAIN IN MY ASS ALL DAMN DAY!
As usual, the star started glowing and about to smash some stupid asshole wrestler asshats.
Goombella: Great plan! Let's hop on!
Mario and his strange friends hopped on the star of Wrath and smashed the shit out of some lame ass Mario enemies with a vicious earthquake that spilled every1's beer and for the sake of annoying fan service, made every1's boobs jiggle. The only remaining shitty enemies left that weren't ded or knocked out were 2 of the Big Bandits, 2 of the Iron Clefts, 3 of the Shady Koopas, 3 of the Majikoopas, Dark Craw, the variations of Hammer Bros, the Dark Koopatrol, and Rawk Hawk: [6 Damage]
Goombella uses head bonk on the Shady Paratroopa giving that bastard some good ol' internal bleeding and knocked him out: [2 Damage All]
Flurrie uses boob bounce of grossness and obliterated the Green Majikoopa on his broom stick: [2 Damage]
Mario: Koops! Do it! Use the fucking power Shell!
Koops: Okay! I will! Thank you Mario!
Koops used a power shell that hurt almost all of the enemies knocking out the Big Bandits, The Shady Koopas, The Majikoopas, And the Hammer bros. With The Iron Clefts, Dark Craw, Dark Koopatrol, and Rawk Hawk remaining: [3 Damage All]
Rawk Hawk: HAR HAR HAR! THAT WAS ONLY THE APPETIZER! NOW YOU HAVE 5 OF THE STRONGEST FIGHTERS EVER! LET'S SEE YOU GET PAST THE IRON CLEFTS!
Both Iron Cleft: RAAAAAHHH!
The Iron Cleft both rammed into Flurrie with more brute force than you can possibly conceive: [8 Damage]
Dark Craw: I see you flippity flappity jiggloodannies thinking you can ooouuuut stand the likes of us!? Well see this here, you have anotha thang awaiting foryuh nyaah!
Dark Craw chucked a Spear right between Goombella's eyes which was dangerously close to blinding her: [6 Damage]
Dark Koopatrol headbutted Koops with the spiky part of his helmet: [4 Damage]
Koops: MY HOODIE! Aww shucks! You tore a hole in it!
Dark Koopatrol: Get armor! It's way better!
Koops: Mario! I don't know if you notice, but I really don't like this guy!
Mario: I know! That's why we're kicking his fucking ass right now!
Rawk Hawk: HAAAARRR! DON'T BE SO SURE THAT YOUR GONNA WIN, GET IT? CAUSE YOU WON'T YOU GAY PORN STAR LOOKING SISSY! HAR HAR HAR! PREPARE TO GET RAWK KNAWKED!
Rawk Hawk did a Sonic the Hedgehog homing attack and assaulted Team M Along with Koops getting Knocked on his back [4 Damage]
Koops: NOOO! Mario! I can't get up! Ahh! This sucks so much ass right now!
Flurrie: Mario…. I think i'm almost down. More down then eating pussy….
Goombella: Mario! What are we gonna do!? These guys are wicked tough!
Mario: Well… When Koops knocked out those bandits, I grabbed a handful of badges I can put on. Let's see. We have the Piercing Blow, Power Jump, Sleepy Stomp, Power Rush, Power Plus P, and a Charge P Badge. I think I'm gonna have to move some badges around for this.
Goombella: Can you put them on now?
Mario: Normally no, but since it's the Kai version, why the fuck not.
Rawk Hawk: HAR HAR HAR! LOOK LIKE YOU BEST BE PREPARING TO LOSE CAUSE YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS TEAM F! GET IT? FOR…. FAGGOT! HA!
A hole smashed through the ceiling with a big buff gorilla like creature with a red tie bursted on to the stage.
Donkey Kong (Age 45): I THINK NOT!
Mario: Oh god damnit. Not you.
Donkey Kong: Here I come to save the day guys!
Grubba: Where do all these obscene characters keep coming from!?
Donkey Kong: Well Mario. I was gonna rape your ass for neglecting me from Paper Mario, but it looks like you're in a hell of your own right now. I figured, WHY DON'T I, DK STAND IN TO BE THE HERO AND YOU AND I CAN DO EACH OTHER A FAVOR INSTEAD!
Mario: Well alright. Whatever.
Donkey Kong: WAIT! 1 more thing! Do you want this hammer I found at a juice store?
Mario: Please don't let it be your-
Donkey Kong: It's NOT my cock this time! I promise! Just take it!
Donkey handed Mario a metal titanium hammer
Mario: Holy shit! Thank you for being 1 character that isn't a piece of shit!
Donkey Kong: It's whateves! As long as I have a moment to shine. It's all fucktastic! I can also contribute 10 extra as well.
Donkey Kong has temporarily joined Team M!: Power Level 175 35 - 5 - 0
Mario: Okay Cool! Maybe we do have more of a shot now.
[TURN 2]
Mario uses quake hammer slightly harming all of the partners including knocking the Dark Koopatrol on his back for a couple of turns: [2 Damage]
Goombella uses multi bonk bonk on the Horizontally challenged Koopatrol: [9 Damage]
Flurrie ate an entire bag of super shrooms to replenish: [10 HP]
DK aka Donkey Kong uses his up B move in smash bros that does a pretty good amount of damage on Dark Craw: [5 Damage]
Both of the Iron Cleft charge into DK dealing him: [8 Damage]
Iron Cleft 1: HE HE HE! Look at us! Look how tough we are! Our power levels are infinite. There's no way you can beat us!
Iron Cleft 2: Yeah! You guys don't even stand a chance you fagwads!
Dark Craw: I see you flippity flappity jiggloodannies thinking you can ooouuuut stand the likes of the papa baton noir!? Well see this here, you have anotha thang awaiting foryuh nyaah!
Mario: What?
Dark Craw threw a spear at Mario stabbing him in the knee. Just kidding! Shoulder: [6 Damage]
Mario: FFFFFFFcunt!
Dark Koopatrol: FUCK! I CAN'T GET UP AND ATTACK!
Rawk Hawk: HA! AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE A SILVER LOZER! A GAY 1!
Rawk Hawk: ANYWAY, PREPARE YOURSELF! FOR YOU ARE ABOUT TO FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS FAWKING ULTIMATE RAWKIN MOVE! PREPARE TO GET RAWK GLAWKED!
Rawk Hawk hovered in the air and did his cheesy air strike at DK: [6 Damage]
Donkey Kong: YOU ARE SO SODOMIZED YOU RETARDED CONARY!
[TURN 3]
Mario uses piercing blow on 1 of the iron clefts which sadly resulted in jack shit.
Mario: Jeez… They really weren't kidding about being invincible. Obviously there's gotta be some kind of way around that crap.
Koops: I got back up guys! Now I can actually do stuff again!
Mario: Good for you loser.
Koops uses another power shell blast finishing off the Dark Craw,
Donkey Kong uses Charge boosting up his B standard attack.
Flurrie finishes off Dark Koopatrol by bashing her shitty body all over the tin Koopa: [3 Damage]
Goombella attacked Rawk Hawk with a double head bonk on Rawk Hawk: [6 Damage]
Rawk Hawk: OUCH, FOR A GIRL, YOU SURE FIGHT LIKE A DYKE!
Goombella: YOU HAVE A 0 IQ!
Both Iron Clefts bash Donkey Kong as he appears to be their main target currently: [8 Damage]
Rawk Hawk: OKAY REAL TAWK! YOU WILL NOT BLAWK ME! I WAS THE ULTIMATE JAWK IN HIGHSCHOOL! AND I INTEND TO KEEP IT THAT WAY!
Mario: STOP SAYING THINGS THAT RHYME WITH "AWK" YOU RETARDED CONERY!
Rawk Hawk: YOU WANT RETARDED? I'LL GIVE YOU RETARDED! FEAR THIS!
Rawk Hawk started bouncing on the ground like a pissed off toddler who didn't get to dress up as a pink power ranger for halloween. Suddenly, a big metal bar started to lower from the ceiling. When it got lowered just enough, Rawk Hawk did a super jump, and grabbed onto the giant bar.
Rawk Hawk: FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS FAWKING ULTIMATE RAWKIN MOVE! PREPARE TO GET RAWK FLAWKED!
Rawk Hawk started shaking the bar with his mighty arms, and suddenly, random somewhat sharp metal objects started falling and started landing on every1 and I mean every1. They all felt damage between 1 and 10 except for Koops who was fortunate enough to have a shell to hide in. [4 Damage on Mario], [7 Damage on Goombella (Danger)], [4 Damage on Flurrie], and [6 Damage on Donkey Kong (Danger)]
Rawk Hawk: YOU JUST GOT THE RAWK SMACK DOWN!
Mario: STOP CHANGING THE NAMES OF YOUR MOVES!
[COMMERCIAL MODE]
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[END OF COMMERCIAL]
[TURN 4]
Goombella: Fuck… that was a powerful move…
Mario: We need food to fix our health. Let me look around for a second. I think I can find a solution.
Mario suddenly spotted a kid holding a Yoshi Egg.
Mario: And the solution is spotted!
Mario quickly ran off stage and kicked the kid's head off and stole his Yoshi egg!
Mario: HAHA! IT'S MINE NOW BITCH!
Mario: GOOD NEWS GUYS! Problem solved! As soon as we eat this egg, we're kicking these wrestler's pansy asses
As soon as Mario tried to take a bite out of the egg, a black Yoshi popped out of the egg and smacked Koops compulsively.
Yoshi (Age JUST FUCKING BORN): Yo! Which 1 of you bitches are my birth parents!?
Mario: Holy shit! Its a Black fucking Yoshi!
Goombella: How does he already know how to talk?
Yoshi: Girl, I don't know! I'm a fucking crack baby! That means I can do all kinds of crazy shit!
Yoshi: But yeah! I be all knowin what's been goin on and shit! Like, I know how you motha fuckaz are after them dedly stars, I know yall are doin that by stealin that champion belt, I know all about yo M-Crew! Howz dat for savin time?
Koops: When did you hear about our plan?
Yoshi: Like I said, I'M TRYIN TO SAVE TIME BITCH! WORK WITH MAH ASS BITCH!
Koops: Uhh….. Okay...
Mario: Yeah yeah yeah… Incase you dumb shits forgot, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING BATTLE!
Yoshi: Yei whateva. Imma just do this joinin shit now.
Yoshi has joined Team M
Yoshi's abilities: I primer-
Mario: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
Yoshi uses Gulp on the Iron Clefts: [4 Damage]
Iron Cleft 1; NO WAY! HE FIGURED OUT HOW TO BREAK THROUGH OUR DEFENSE!?
Iron Cleft: THAT'S CHEATING!
Yoshi: Man…. you stupid ass bitches! I'm just smart enough to know how physics work!
Goombella: Weren't you just born?
Yoshi: Let me reiterate, I'M A FUCKING CRACK BABY! A MAJICAL 1 AT THAT!
Koops drank some vadgelly syrup replenishing 5 FP.
Mario smoked a lightning blotta for the 1st time and used that to some how zap Rawk Hawk off the bar he was hangin off: [5 Damage]
Rawk Hawk: OWW! MY BUTT! THAT HURT MY BUTT! YOU'LL WILL SUFFER FOR THAT GONZALES!
Goombella uses another double head bonk blast on Rawk Hawk: [6 Damage]
Flurrie used her 3rd gross body slam at Rawk Hawk: [3 Damage]
Rawk Hawk: AWW! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO! MAKE ME GAY!?
Donkey Kong: YES WE ARE!
Donkey Kong followed this obscure remark with a fist to Rawk Hawk's beak breaking it and smashing his body on the wall knocking him out unconscious: [25 Damage]
Rawk Hawk: GRANDPAPPY WAS RIGHT….. I'M ONLY GOOD… FOR BUTT RAPE!
Mario: Dude, that last remark made absolutely no sense asshole.
Donkey Kong: I beat the champion for you so your welcome douche.
Suddenly, Donkey Kong got trampled flat by the 2 Iron Cunts knocking him out: [8 Damage]
[TURN 5]
Yoshi: Damn! That monkey motha fucka got his ass trampled! Oh well. Out the way motha fuckas.
Yoshi repeated the gulping process by grabbing the 1st Iron Cleft with his mouth like his throw attack in smash bros. Then he projectiled him on the 2nd Iron Cleft smashing them in a couple pieces!
Due to all the enemies they faced, Mario leveled up 3 levels putting him at level 11.
[END OF BIG ASS BATTLE]
All of the Team M members were high fiving eachother like a quintet of badasses for putting up with that XTREEEM CLUSTERFUCK of a battle.
Yoshi: YEI! WE DID IT!
Koops: Holy Guacamole! I feel exhilarated!
Goombella: WOw! that turned out better than I expected!
Flurrie: I Flurrie, want to partake in rape with you all like no tomorrow!
Grubba: We have a hot-diggedy-DEMON! You guys actually beat all of my finest fighters!
Mario: HA! WE WIN! You know what that means… Hand over the belt fuckwad!
Grubba: Fine… Guess yall earned it fair and square! It's a shame y'all don't wanna be professional fighters cause y'all would be stars!
Right when Grubba was about to hand Mario the Belt, Donkey Kong suddenly woke up and quickly stole the belt when least expected.
Donkey Kong: AHA! JOKES ON YOU TWAT HOLES! NOW I REALLY GOT WHAT I WANTED!
Mario: What!? DAMNIT DK! YOU BASTARD!
Donkey Kong: Oh please. As if I give a lick of crap of what you think! I'm the champion now! This is the payback you get for not letting me in Paper Mario! Now watch, as I go pawn this off for an expensive sex swing! WITH GUNS! LATER BITCH FARRIES! HAHAHAHEFUHAEFIOEBFISOBSKJGSDGKSDGKSOGNSDMSSMGGDUFYEFY!
DK went loony and ripped his tie off and jumped off Glitzville with the champion's belt thinking he'll survive that big of a fall. Maybe he'll live. I don't fucking know.
Yoshi: Aight. So real talk for a sec. Why you hidin' the fake star from us?
Grubba: What?... What ever do you mean!? HAHAHAHAH! That monkey ran off with my belt and all mah fighters are down for the count!
Koops: Not sure what that last part has to do with anything.
Yoshi: Spit it out bitch! We know that's 1 on the belt was a decoy, so hand it bitch!
Grubba: Fine…. very well…. You leave me no choice.
Grubba stuck his finger down his throat, and bulimicly puked out a remote with a big red button.
Grubba: YOU THINK I CALL THIS DOJO THE GLORY HOLE CAUSE I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY!? BEHOLD!
Grubba pressed the button causing the robotic audiance to blow up and 9 of the tiles he was under and around him to elevate downwards.
A Giant penis shaped machine that oddly resembled a Mario Kart Gold Cup Trophy arose through the actual gigantic Glory Hole on the stage containing the real Star of Greed hovering above it.
Koops: LOOKY! It's the star!
Grubba: I don't suppose this was the star yallz were lookin for this whole time was it? I found this star 1 day from brutally raping a jewish leprechaun! Uhhh... A FEMALE 1! YEAH! I raped him... her so hard, that I stole the pot of gold with the Star of Greed in it. And I got all that gold which got me the moolah I needed to create Glitzville!
Grubba: Look, I have no time for my own squabbling. Check this dodadday out! INITIATE! HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUSCLE-UP!
Grubba started flexing in a way where he looked like he was severely constipated some how causing the machine with the Greed Star in it to activate its power and caused Grubba to grow 10 times his normal size while being super buff as fuck. He turned Orange, and grew Super Saiyan hair despite the hair not making him any stronger. He became, Macho Man Grubba Savage! Too soon? Welp. Everything on his body grew. Except for his penis. Which... actually shrunk from the steroid like procedure.
Yoshi: DAYAMN! DAT GRUBBA FUCKA GOT ALL BIG ASS BIG ALL DA SUDDEN!
Macho Man Grubba Savage: I AM PUMPED UP WITH ALL KINDS OF UNHEALTHY POWER! CHECK IT! I USE THIS STAR TO KEEP MY FINE OL' BOD' YOUNG AND PHRESH! SO PHRESH, I CAN DESTROY YOUR ASS WITH SOME SMOOOOOOOOOOTH SLAM ATTACKS!
Koops: Keep your fine ol' bod young? I don't get it.
Flurrie: I do... Talk about some majical cosmetics I do say so myself.
Macho Man Grubba Savage: WITH TEAM M'S ENERGY, I'LL BE STRONGER THAN GOD! I'LL BECOME SO STRONG, THAT NOT EVEN THE WORLD'S MILITARY FORCES CAN TAKE ME ON. I'LL BE AN UNSTOPPABLE RULER ON THIS POST APOCALYPTIC PLANET DRIVEN BY ME. AND I WILL BE ALL POWERFUL AS HUMANITY FALLS TO THEIR KNEES OVER MY FINE ASS! AS EACH DAY COMMENCES, I WILL GROW STRONGER AND STRONGER! EVENTUALLY, I WILL BE SO BIG AND STRONG, THAT I WILL...UHH…... PUNCH, PLANET EARTH! HYUK HYUK HYUK HYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKK!
Mario: So... basically, you're just hell bent on being power hungry I take it? Meh. I've heard less retarded evil plans...
Macho Grubba: STOP BELITTLING MY PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION!
[THE REAL BOSS BATTLE MODE]
Mario: Power Level 90
Goombella: Power Level 65
Koops: Power Level 68
Flurrie: Power Level 38
Yoshi: Power Level 30
FP: 10
V.S.
Battle Music: The Toxic Waltz by Exodus
Macho Man Grubba Savage: Power Level 180
[TURN 1]
Macho Man Grubba Savage: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHO MAN GRUBBA SAVAGE!
Mario: That's ... that's not really gonna be your new name, is it?
Macho Man Grubba Savage: READ THE DAMN STORY! YOU SEE MY NAME ON THE LEFT OF THE COLONS RIGHT!?
Mario face palmed.
Mario: *sigh* I don't think you don't realize how hard it was to block that out of my mind before you said that. Let's just start this already. GOOMBELLA!
Goombella uses tattle: This is Macho... I can't believe he renamed himself to that... Uhh yeah... Hes got a power level of 180. What's weird, is that this boss has no defense, but has an attack power of 4 and HP of 60! And he has a buttload of moves kind of like Rawk Hawk only with 2ice the power level. So... look out.
Mario starts off this turn with a metal hammer smash on Grubba's foot: [4 Damage]
Macho Man Grubba Savage: OWW! I got a move of my own! Its called... CHEATING!
Macho Man Grubba Savage boosted an ability to do 2 attacks in 1 move.
Goombella: So... he can boost his attacks? Shit. The book never said anything about that.
Macho Man Grubba Savage: NOW WE EACH HAVE 2 MOVES PER TURN!
[TURN 2]
Goombella uses the charge attack for the 1st time boosting her power level to 85.
Mario drank Hawaiian Power Punch to boost his shit up to 120.
Macho Man Grubba Savage: HYUK! NOW YALL ARE COPYING ME!? HYUK HYUK HYUK! WATCH THIS. JUST A FAIR WARNING! BACK IN THE DAY, I HAD SO MANY ASS-FUCKING MOVES, THAT SOME OF EM HAD TO BE MADE ILLEGAL,
Goombella: You mean like the 2 turns bullshit power up?
Macho Man Grubba Savage: WITNESS A POWER LIKE THIS!
Grubba did a dance where he boosted up his attack power with an xtra 3 boosting his power level to 252/270.
Macho Man Grubba Savage ran back and punched Goombella in the face: [7 Damage]
Macho Man Grubba Savage: I LOVE HITTING WOMEN! YIKKI! I'M MAAAACHO MAN GRUBBA SAVAGE! YOU WON'T BEAT ME! CAUSE I'M THE REAL CHAMP AMONG ANY FIGHTER YOU'VE EVER FACED! YOU PESTERING PIECES OF PRICK PUBES! I'M ROUGH, TOUGH, AND HOTTER THAN HILLARY DUFF! JUST LOOK AT ME!
Goombella: Oww... my face. This guy talks way too much...
Macho Man Grubba Savage: WHO NEEDS A PENIS WHEN I GOT BIG MUSCLES!
[TURN 3]
Goombella uses her awesome multibonk attack dealing a great deal of [18 Damage]
Macho Man Grubba Savage: HOW'D I GET THAT KIND OF BEATING FROM A TINY GOOMBA BITCH!?
Mario: Cause your a fucking retard!
Mario does the same as Goombella and power bounced the Macho Mistake of a character: [17 Damage]
Mario: Just so you know, you look like the fat steroid abusing pissed off twin brother of Jar Jar Binks that got outshined by him. The ugly sight of you gives me a reason to fear ass cancer!
Macho Man Grubba Savage: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... MAYBE I DID UNDERESTIMATE YOUR MOVES! WELP, JUST TO MAKE SURE THIS DONE HERE DON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, IMMA GET ALL ELECTRIC NOW!
Macho Man Grubba Savage statically electrified his skin making him untouchable for 3 turns!
Macho Man Grubba Savage: TRY TOUCHING ME NOW BITCHES! IT'LL BE LIKE A MOTH ON 1 OF EM ZAPPING LIGHTS! OH YEAH! I ALMOST FORGOT!
Macho Man Grubba Savage grew 2ice his own size as he boosted his defense by 3. Also boosting his power level by 293/675
[TURN 4]
Goombella: Welp... I hate to say this, but I think I've done all that I can. Koops! You in!
Koops: Oh boy! I'm gonna do him 1 good.
Goombella: Let's hope so.
Goombella tapped out and switched with Koops.
Mario uses a smash on Grubba's stomach doing a lame amount of: [1 Damage]
Macho Man Grubba Savage: DON'T BE SO SURE THAT YOU HAVE ME IN A LOOP! CAUSE I GOT THIS ALL UNDER CONTROL! CHECK THIS OUT!
Macho Man Grubba Savage did a surprise jump move on Koops: [6 Damage]
Macho Man Super Asshole did another jump attack on Koops briefly sitting on him putting him in a big ass danger mode [7 Damage]. This dented his shell in pressing on his lungs.
Koops: AAAHAHHHHH! I CANT GET UP! I CANT *Coughs blood* GET UP!
Mario: DAMNIT! NOT AGAIN!
Macho Man Grubba Savage: I HOPE YOU REALIZE! I'VE WATCHED ALL 23 OF YOUR FIGHTS! I KNOW ALL YOUR WEAKNESSES! WHATS A MATTER? WANNA LEAVE NOW!? WELL HA! THE DOORS LOCK AUTOMATICALLY WHEN I ACTIVATE THE MACHINE! SO YOU ARE S.O.L.. IF YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
[TURN 5]
Mario: Shit... This guy is cutting through my team mates like no problem. I can't keep letting this shit go on.
Koops: SHUCKS MARIO! I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO ATTACK HIM! IM SORRY IM SO FUCKING LAME!
Mario: Yes Koops. Yes you clearly are. Flurrie! Get your gross ass out of here!
Flurrie! My my! Looks like I'm up.
Mario switches out Koops for Flurrie.
Mario: Don't get too excited. Feed me more Hawaiian Punch so we don't die!
Flurrie: Yessir!
Flurrie uses Hawaiian Power Punch on Mario to increase his strength back to 120.
Mario: I hope you have a way to counter this power up Grubba.
Macho Man Grubba Savage: OH I DO! BUT I GOTTA REBOOT MY 2 TURN TAKING PERFECT ASS SO I CAN BLAST YOU SOME!
Macho Man Grubba Savage re-amped his 2x turn move.
Macho Man Grubba Savage: OWW! MY HEART! OWW!
Macho Man Grubba Savage started rolling around all over the place in agonizing pain as he started having a heart attack!
Macho Man Grubba Savage: OWW! *COUGHS BLOOD* OOOOO! THIS CAN'T ….. BE!
Mario: HAHA! LOOK EVERY1! GRUBBA'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK! WE'LL WIN THIS FOR SURE NOW!
Macho Man Grubba Savage: OH *COUGH* WAIT A SEC! I JUST REALIZED! THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!
Mario: Pfft... Dont you think you've been bullshitting us enough today?
Macho Man Grubba Savage: WELL… WITH THIS FORM, I NO LONGER NEED A HEART IN ORDER TO SURVIVE! WITNESS THE EVER LASTING POWER OF CHOMPOOOOOOOOOOOOO GRUBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Macho Man Grubba Savage did another constipation vibration thing while having a drug induced heart attack where the entire Glitzville started shaking.
Mario: No... fucking... way...
Macho Man Grubba Savage: YES YEEEEEEESSSSSSS! COME TO ME STONE CHAIN CHOMP! BE 1 WITH ME!?
Goombella: NO WAY! IS HE SERIOUS!?
Koops; HE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT THE CHAIN CHOMP ON THE FRONT OF THE DOJO IS H-
Battle Music: Blacklist by Exodus
The Giant Stone Chain Chomp crashed and majically fused with Grubba turning him into; CHOMPO GRUBBA! His skin turned black and made of stone. His face took the form of a chain chomp and it looked fucking terrifying. His defense got boosted to 10 putting him at a power level of 360/1080. The other power ups minus the 2 turns move became dismissed.
Yoshi: DAMN! THAT SHITS FRIGHTENING!
Flurrie: What a sheer display of becoming 1 with a funny object that you indeed possess...
Chompo Grubba: HYUK HYUK HYUK! IM FUSED WITH THE CHAIN CHOMP THAT WAS IN FRONT OF MY DOJO! NOW YOU TRULY DON'T STAND A LICK OF A CHANCE!
Mario: How?
[TURN 6]
Flurrie: Mmmm... Maybe we can use more FP then...
Flurrie uses the item swap on the super shroom turning it into super vadgelly.
Mario chugged that Super Vadgelly Syrup regenerating all that FP back to normal.
Chompo Grubba boosts his attack with an xtra 3 again and chomped Flurrie: [7 Damage]
Flurrie: Please... I can bite better than that any time, anywhere!
[TURN 7]
Chompo Grubba: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF PENETRATING THROUGH MY ARMOR LIKE BODY NOW!
Mario raised up the Star of Wrath.
Mario: Now to use my power of HOW MUCH YOU PISS ME OFF YOU FAT REDNECK GROSS SOUNDING ASSHOLE!
The star did it's usual thing, and grew big as hell. All of the partner's got on it for dramatic effect, and to not experience the attack. But Chompo Grubba sure did: [6 Damage]
Chompo Grubba: OWW! THAT... ACTUALLY STUNG! WELP, YOU GOT NO CHANCE AGAINST THE LIKES OF ME! YOU CAN ONLY USE THAT 1CE PER BATTLE SO LOOKS LIKE YOUR SHIT OUT OF LUCK! AGAIN!
Flurrie: ... Hmmmm... It appears that I am indeed stumped on how I can combat this disfigured beast... I'm afraid that I'm out. Yoshi. Now it's your turn.
Yoshi: Sheeeeeeeeeeit! Finally!
Flurrie traded spaces with Yoshi.
Chompo Grubba: REMEMBER! THE MATCHES AREN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY SO! YOU KNOW THAT FROM ALL THEM MATCHES YOU DON' HERE FACED WITH ME AS THE REF! AND LUCK WILL ALWAYS SHINE ON CHOMPO GRUBBA!
Chompo Grubba boosted his attack by 3 raising his attack up to 10. Power Level: 504/2160
Mario: I can't wait to get my hands on that star!
Chompo Grubba: NO YOU DON'T!
Chompo Grubba did a backflip that savagely landed on Yoshi full force. He had enough strength to block it but even that wasn't enough: [9 Damage]
Yoshi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Goombella; YOSHI!
[TURN 8]
Yoshi: Uggg... *coughs a little blood* I cant... Uhh... Im think im... im ... pretty much ded… Ugg... Sorry. Great G. It's... up to yooo...do it fo... do it for the nigg...as...
Yoshi passed out on the floor with his tongue out.
Koops: Is he...?
Goombella: Yoshi... no...
Flurrie: Poor Yoshi... He was just born today too...
Chompo Grubba: HYUK HYUK HYUK! NOW YOUR PARTNERS ARE STRAIGHT UP DED! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING THIS NOW! GO AHEAD! TRY SWITCHING YOUR PARTNERS OUT! YOU'LL WASTE A TURN DOING IT! AND I'LL ONLY KILL THEM TOO!
Mario: Damn you…. No 1 fucks with Team M and lives to TELL ABOUT IT!
Mario charges his attack up by 2 increasing his power level to 150.
Chompo Grubba: SO... HYUK HYUK... YOU'RE PLAYING THE POWER UP GAME A 2ND TIME!? HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING!? I CAN BOOST MY ATTACK 2ICE IS FAST AS YOU CAN! JUST WATCH!
Chomp Grubba 1ce more boosted up his attack by another 3. Power level 630/2700
Chompo Grubba bit Mario almost cutting him in half. Luckily he was too pissed off to die: [13 Damage]
[TURN 9]
Goombella: This guy is ridiculously powerful! Do something! Anything!
Mario charged up again boosting his power level up to 102/180
Goombella: NOO! Mario! That was a weak strategy!
Mario: I DON'T CARE!
Chompo Grubba: THIS IS GETTING PATHETIC FAST! ALTHOUGH I DO HAVE TO ADMIT! YOU ARE POWERING UP ENOUGH TO DO ANOTHER HIT OF DAMAGE ON ME YET AGAIN!
Chompo Grubba powered up his defense up to 13: Power Level 788/3375
Chompo Grubba: THERE WE GO! IM UNSTOPPABLE NOW! AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, THESE CHARGE UPS DON'T GO AWAY! IN OTHER WORDS, THEY'RE SET IN STONE! GET IT!? HYUK HYUK HYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!
Chompo Grubba: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST GONNA TOY WITH YOU SINCE YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH DED MEAT ALREADY! EAT THIS!
Chompo Grubba decked Mario hard in the face creating the most dedly punch any1 has ever faced in this series so far: [13 Damage]
[TURN 10]
The Bloody leader got back up on his feet.
Mario: Hehehehe.. PERFECT!
Mario pulled out his hammer which turned blue, sharp, and crystal like, and immediately dug it right through Grubba's heart area with a surprise piercing blow: [12 Damage]
Chompo Grubba: WH... WHAT THE...
Mario: YOU FORGOT ABOUT MY PIERCING BLOW BITCH!
Chompo Grubba: HYUK HYUK! WELL…. LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU JUST WASTED YOUR LAST MOVE! AND I'M STILL STANDING! WHO NEEDS A HEART WHEN YOU GOT BIG! ASS! MUSCLES!
Mario: NOW YOSHI!
Yoshi quickly got up and did a gulp attack on Chompo Grubba and spat him out on the floor unable to move: [5 Damage]
Yoshi: PSYCH BITCH!
Grubba reverted back to his original form.
Grubba: THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!?
[END OF THE REAL BOSS BATTLE MODE]
Grubba: This... wasn't supposed to end like this... I wanted to get stronger... and this is the thanks I get..?... Shame...
the heavily wounded black eyed Mario walked up to Grubba, and stepped on his chest causing him to cough up blood and some of his guts.
Mario: Had enough?
Grubba: May God... have mercy on your soul!
Mario: God? *spits blood out* God died the day I came out of my mother's cunt.
Mario stomped through Grubba's chest flattening his heart flat and killing him in that intense sort of way.
Mario: Well that's finally over with. Good thing Yoshi had that plan.
Goombella: Wait, you mean that thing where he got back up? When the hell did you have that plan established!?
Mario: I kind of figured. I mean, Yoshi does have 10 HP after all. And Grubba took out 9 so it was kind of obvious.
Koops: GUYS! LOOK! I took a look at the Yoshi egg shells! There's a bag of weed inside
Goombella: AWESOME!
Flurrie: I feel ravished!
Mario: SWEET! NOW WE HAVE THE WEED AND THE 3rd STAR!
Yoshi: HELL YEAH! NOW I KNOW WHAT WE DOIN TONIGHT! SMOKIN OUR ASSES OFF YO!
Team M: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Closing theme: Intro To Finale And Closing (2nd half) by Bruce FaulconerWith somewhat of help from Donkey Kong, they were able to capture the 3rd Dedly Star! Grubba is ded, and he will never harm, drain energy, nor be annoying ever again. Cuz he ded What other adventures awaits up? And what else are the X-Naut's up to? Find out on the next exciting issue! As we BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE NEXT EXCITING CHAPTURE OF SUPER MARIO! AND THE A THOUSAND YEAR! DRAMAAAAAAAAA!
- To be continued
Credits:
Credits music playing: Wasted by the Circle Jerks.
Creator: IAMMASTER
No vibes were harmed in the making of this.
Based on a True Game