[Edward Newgate wanted children. This was bound to happen at some point, right?]

((Inspired by wordsdrippinginink (on tumblr) contribution to the 'Whitebeard Meme' post. It was too funny to pass up!))

"Pops!" Thatch called, sauntering up to his captain. "Can I have a word with you?" Whitebeard nodded, politely waving his nurse along. Thatch waited, smiling at the woman as she walked by. When she was gone Whitebeard gestured for him to start.

"So. You know know how Ace is kind of young?" Whitebeard hummed, acknowledging the fact. "Younger than we usually get." The giant man raised his brow as his son went on. "The youngest on the ship now. Probably the youngest you've accepted actually."

"Thatch." The fourth commander stopped his rambles to stare up at his captain. "Is there a reason you are bring up Ace and his age?"

"Right." Whitebeard was confused as his son shifted nervously. He was slightly concerned something was wrong, something surrounding their newest crew member. "Well. You see. It's just that Ace acts a little naive sometimes." Whitebeard looked on slightly disbelieving. "And he just said in passing he's never had a father before and his guardians, and I quote, were okay but kind of sucked at raising kids. So me and the other commanders were just concerned Ace has never had 'the talk' before." Slightly winded, Thatch inhaled.

Whitebeard sat staring at his son. His eyebrows raised as realization set in. Had they really thought that Ace would be so uninformed at his age? Better question, was he? Whitebeard opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Thatch speaking up again.

"I'm glad you agree." Whitebeard wasn't so sure he did. "We figured since you are the captain and father figure, you should give him the talk." He moved to cut Thatch off but the man was already continuing as he backed out of the room. "That's why we already sent for Ace. He should be here any moment now. Good luck!" With that Thatch ducked out, leaving Whitebeard to sigh heavily in the empty room.

Just moments later there was a knock at his door and Ace popped his head through. "You wanted to see me?" He almost seemed timid, still warming up to the crew and himself, so to speak. Sighing again, Whitebeard nodded. He might as well get this over while. Better safe this sorry after all.

"Some of the commanders expressed their concerns over you, to me. They're worried -" Whitebeard paused. Ace furrowed his brow, worried himself. However Whitebeard was at a loss, how did one even give this speech, let alone to a seventeen year old. "They're worried you've never been given the talk."

Ace's expression morphed from concern to confusion. His head tilted ever so slightly, obviously having no clue what Whitebeard was getting out. Well, that's just great. The older man couldn't help but think. He really was banking on Ace having already been taught this.

"You see, Ace, there comes a time in a young individual's life when they might start to think about- about." Whitebeard was one of the most feared men on the seas. It was frankly ridiculous he was finding it difficult to continue with this. But before he could even try to continued Ace scoffed and rolled his eyes in that dramatic teenage fashion.

"Is that what has them worried?" Ace rose his brow with clear annoyance written on his face. "I'm not a kid you know and my gramps gave me this talk a long time ago." Without being told, Ace turned and made for the door. "It's not like murder if the only thing I think about you know."

"What? That wasn't what I -" Flooder, the man found himself speechless. Murder? Whitebeard could the slight flush of embarrassment spread over Ace's cheeks and the tips of his ears when he turned. He couldn't help but just stare, a bit wide-eyed.

"You try to kill one guy" Ace muttered under his breath as he began to march out "and suddenly it's all people think you care about." And just as quickly and confusingly as this started, it ended when Ace disappeared. Thatch poked his head in a moment later, followed by Haruta and Fossa.

"Okay, I thought this was funny but now I'm concerned." Fossa nodded in agreement.

"It's a little funny." Haruta chuckled. "What kind of grandpa gives their grandson a 'murder talk'?

"A crazy person that's who. Must be where Ace inherited his stubborn ambition." Cracked Thatch.

Whitebeared sighed knowing that he couldn't in good conscious let this be. Not when Ace was now walking around completely oblivious. He cleared his throat, grabbing his present children's attention.

"Go fetch Ace again. The sooner we can inform our youngest, the better." Curse Ace's guardians, his grandfather. Whoever that man is.