AN: Happy Saturday! Hope you enjoy this new contribution. Let me know.

Chapter 4

Henry sat at the small desk that was his office space and watched Elizabeth from across the room. She sat on the floor with Jason in her lap, helping him play Candy Land with Stevie and Ali. Other than the rather tired expression that Elizabeth always seemed to have now, Henry wondered if an outsider would know. If someone snapped a picture in this moment, could the cavernous space between them be seen? He thought that was surely the case.

They finished the game and cleaned up. Elizabeth stood, holding their son by the hand. "I'm going to give Jace a bath. Can you make sure the girls get ready for bed and don't play around?" Henry nodded and immediately stood. Did she realize that he was now at her beck and call. The times she spoke directly to him were so rare now. He wouldn't take the chance of her withdrawing the few words she did say by not getting an immediate response.

As he set out the girls' pajamas and pulled the book from the shelf that they were reading together, he asked himself the same question that he'd asked everyday for the past 8 months. Will she ever forgive me? That question was always immediately followed by Do I deserve forgiveness? Henry wasn't sure. He thought he'd been in the right in the first place and he could see now where that got him.

He was so hurt and angry when Elizabeth came home with the Station Chief job offer. She seemed like she was excited to do it. She wanted to leave her family and go sit in the cesspool of Al-Qaeda operatives and make sure their interrogations were conducted fairly. Ethically, he got it and he was on board with her position. But from a former Marine standpoint, he didn't give a shit whether or not those bastards were tortured. He'd been there in the 90s. He'd lost friends at the Pentagon on 9/11 and two high school classmates at the Twin Towers. Elizabeth acted like he didn't know what was at stake. He knew it all too well. He just didn't think that the cause was worth sacrificing his wife over.

He had told her as much. Even though she had said so, he didn't think she would really quit. Of course, now looking at it more objectively, he knew his wife wouldn't give. She wouldn't work for an organization that she believed was morally compromised. He wouldn't ask her to, but he had taken her avenue for fixing it, so she quit. Elizabeth quit her job, but it also felt like she quit on them. He couldn't believe that they could be in such close proximity physically, and so distant emotionally. That was the part he hadn't seen coming, and now that it happened, he had no idea how to span the gap, to get them back. So, they just existed in the same space, and it was more painful than he could have ever imagined.

Elizabeth sent a freshly bathed Jason into the girls' room to read with Henry while she cleaned up the kitchen and prepared for the next day. When he came downstairs, she breezed past him with a load of laundry to be washed, leaving him standing alone in the kitchen. By the time he finished his grading and packed his briefcase for the next day, she was already in bed, her back to him.

Silently, he got ready for bed and climbed in, pulling the blankets over him. He wondered if they would ever get back what they had because he missed her so deeply.

Much to his surprise, she broke the silence, replying, "I miss you too, and I'm scared because I don't know if we will." She pulled herself out of bed and quickly put her robe on. Before Henry could speak, she picked up her pillow and disappeared from the room, leaving Henry shocked that his words had been spoken and feeling bereft, knowing she held no more hope than he did.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Elizabeth removed the blanket from the back of the couch and shook it out before laying down and covering herself with it. She wondered how she and Henry got to this point. How did they not stop and try to repair their relationship before it got so bad? But even as the thought materialized, she knew the answer. Elizabeth had been so distraught, she completely shut Henry out.

She remembered in the days and weeks after she quit the CIA, Henry tried to talk to her, to apologize, to reach out, and she had shut him down at every turn. At the time, she'd been so angry, hurt, and scared that she couldn't talk to Henry. As time passed, the anger faded and was replaced with indifference. Getting nothing from Elizabeth, Henry stepped away, withdrawing from her.

Similar to the way she'd handled the death of her parents, Elizabeth turned inward. Walling her emotions up deep inside, Elizabeth constructed a fake exterior. She carried on, telling anyone who asked that she decided she needed to spend more time with the kids while they were young. She was taking some time off. No one knew any different, no one except her husband. He saw the damage done. Henry had been the one to tear down her walls the first time. He definitely recognized what was happening as they were rebuilt. He just felt powerless to stop it.

Elizabeth ducked under the blanket, hiding herself and the loneliness overtook her. Knowing that Henry felt the same way was devastating. Where did this leave them? Hopelessness crept in and the tears followed.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Henry heard her crying from the bedroom and instinctively went to her. If he had taken the time to think about it, he might have buried his head under his pillow and ignored it. However, he had spent the better part of twenty years wiping those tears. He could no longer pretend they didn't exist, just like he couldn't pretend he wasn't the cause.

Before either of them could stop themselves, Henry had slid in beneath Elizabeth and had her cradled against him, holding her close. "Why are you here?" she choked out in stuttered sobs.

"I've let you feel like you are alone for far too long. It's time we fix this. I don't know the words to say, but I can hold you while you grieve and wipe your tears and support you while you figure out what's next. I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

She immediately threw her arms around his neck and clung to him. No words were spoken, but he carried her to their bed and held her all night. The next morning, she came downstairs late, finding the house empty. There was an omelet with a still warm cup of coffee sitting next to it. Under the edge of the plate, she found a note. Opening it, she smiled.

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix us. I love you always. Hank

Elizabeth laughed. She hated the nickname Hank, which the Marine guys had given him, back in the day. He only used that name when he was being cute and wanted to annoy her.

It was nice to feel something other than alone and sad. Maybe this was the turning point. She decided to make it be. They were going to be ok.