Chapter One:

This is how I feel

Part 3

3 weeks later (11 weeks since Tommy left)

Jude walked into her office and sat down at her desk. She stared at her phone for awhile before gathering the courage to call her manager. She picked up the phone with a shaky hand and dialed his phone number. It had been months since she last saw Darius, but she needed to get her song out. G-Major had re-opened after a month and the board of directors reinstated Darius as president. They decided to bring him back because he made them so much more money than before.

"Darius Mills."

"Hey D, it's Jude." She said, after taking a deep breath.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I have a song that I want to record. It's a duet I wrote with the lead singer of one of the bands I am producing. I want to record it for my third album and hopefully have it out as a single." Jude stated as she stood up and paced her office. As she was on the phone, Miles came in and leaned on the doorway and listened to her conversation.

"Well, I do have some spare time today. I'll come down to NBR and check out your song. If I like it, I'll let you put it out. I'll be there around three." Darius cited and then hung up the phone. Miles sauntered into the room and sat down in the chair.

"So, the big Mills himself. I heard that his dear little sister is a murderer. Is that true?" Jude stared at Miles from the corner of her eyes and just nodded. Miles understood her quietness on the details and decided to switch the topic. "So, this song is going to go on your album?"

"Well Yeah, my lyrics. Why wouldn't it go on my album?" She asked, sitting back down at her desk.

"Well, I've listened to your music before, and this song isn't normally your style. It's more like mine. So, wouldn't it make sense to put it on my album?"

"So? What if I want my listeners to hear a different side of me? A more angst side. And just because I haven't worked on my album for months, doesn't mean that I'm not going to finish it." Miles stood up from his chair and walked over next to Jude. Jude stood up and stared up at him in defiance.

"Angst? You know, I heard your song, Skin, so I think your listeners already knows. All right. If you really want the song on the album, you can have it. I have much better songs up my sleeve." He winked and turned to walk out of the room, leaving Jude speechless.

It was two fifty-five P.M. Jude was setting up the equipment in Studio 4 when Jamie walked in with Darius. Jude stepped out of the recording booth to greet her manager.

"Darius, nice to see you again." Jude said, holding out her hand. Darius pushed her hand to the side and gave her a hug.

"Jude. Long time no see. So, you have a song you would like to release?" Darius asked, wasting no time at all.

"Yeah, I do. It's not my normal genre of music but it shows a different side of me. A side that I think my listeners might be pleasantly surprised to hear, and something they could connect to." Darius nodded in approval and sat down on the couch that lined the wall. "We're just waiting for Miles, Jake and Shawn."

"So, those are the guys you are producing?"

"Yeah, they're great. Their first single is still in the top ten over the last 2 months. They're really hardcore rock but I think you'll like them." Jude stated, nodding her head and standing next to Jamie.

"Have you heard from Quincy? I hear he is still in Asia somewhere." As soon as he said 'Quincy' Jude had to lean against Jamie to keep from falling. She was still devastated from his phone call from the week before. Knowing that he was never coming home had hit her hard. Luckily she had Miles to fall back on. Writing the song with him had brought them closer, from producer/artist to friends. Just talking to someone with a fresh mind and open ears helped her out completely and made her feel a little better. Jude turned to Darius and looked him in the eye.

"Uh yeah. I just talked to him a few weeks ago. He said he's not coming back." Jude said quietly under her breath. Darius looked at her in confusion and then in disbelief. At that moment Miles, Shawn, and Jake walked into the studio. Jude Quickly walked over to Miles and pushed him toward Darius. "Miles, this is Darius Mills. Darius this is Miles Davenport, lead singer and guitarist of Astrophel. This is Shawn Stevens, the bassist, and Jake Anderson, the drummer. This is Darius, my manager and president of the record label G-Major." Jude stated quickly, pushing all three guys towards Darius so they could shake his hand. Miles looked at Jude sideways and walked up to her.

"Are you ready?" he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder. Jude nodded. She led the band into the recording booth and took their respective places.

"Jude, what's the name of your song?" Darius asked over the intercom.

"Broken." Jude lifted her hand and motioned her fingers to Miles, motioning that she was ready for him to start. Miles started to strum his guitar.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away

Darius stood there, staring at Jude through the glass.

"Jude, that was great. I think it should go on your album. Put it out as a single. I'll need all of you to come to G-major tomorrow to sign some paper work and we'll discuss the studio and recording arrangement."

"Thank you, D. We'll come by tomorrow. "Jude said through the mic and watched Darius walk out of the room.

"Guys, that song was awesome. Jude, you need to get Darius to let you record that here, in our studio."

"I'll try my best, Jamie." Jude said as she walked out of the recording booth and out of the studio.

Over the next week Jude had convinced Darius to let her record it at NBR and now they were in the works of doing a music video. Jude hadn't done a music video in years, not since Waste My Time she did with Shay. Miles and Jude were sitting in chairs near the costume trailer. They were shooting the music video on a sandy beach near a beautiful lake.

"Are you nervous?" Miles asked her, sitting in his chair and taking a drink of water. Jude turned her head sideways and looked at him.

"Why would I be nervous? It's just a kiss. I've kissed many guys before you. Would you like a list?"

"No thanks, but have you ever kissed a guy like me? I, on the other hand, confess that I am a little nervous. "

"Why?"

"Do you really want to know?" Jude nodded her head. "Because I like you. A lot. This past week that we've been hanging out together has made me feel certain feelings for you. And I don't know how you feel about me." Miles finished. Jude looked at him with a shocked face. She definitely didn't see this coming. Not so soon anyway. Before Jude could answer, Darius made his way over to them.

"Are you guys ready to take your places?" Darius asked. They both nodded and got up from their chairs and followed him to the set. The band had their instruments set up and Jude walked behind the microphone stand. The lake setting a gorgeous view behind them as the music started to play over the speakers as Miles and Jude lip-synced their words. After filming the whole band together, the director of the video wanted Jude and Miles to sing their separate parts while walking the edge of the lake.

"Jude, you were wonderful. Now, all we need is the last part where you and Miles meet at the edge and kiss. I want you to make it look passionate. Do you think you can do that?" The director asked, looking down at Jude.

"Yeah. I'll do my best." Jude said, taking her place, yards away from Miles. The music started again and they lip-synced the words as they walked slowly toward each other. They came half a foot from each other and stared in each others eyes. Miles reached his arms out slowly and took hold of her hands and pulled her body against his. He trailed his hands up her arms, along her shoulders, gently caressed her neck and placed his warms hands on her flushed cheeks. Jude could feel his breath on her lips as he inched his face closer. Their noses rubbed and then Miles went in for the kiss, gentle at first, until Jude put her arms around his middle and held him close. Miles took the incentive and kissed her harder, slipping his tongue in between her lips. Jude accepted him graciously and held him tighter against her. Ever since Tommy had called her, Jude had been opening up to Miles more and more each day. They had started to take lunches together and had started to write music together as well. As much as Jude loved Tommy, she knew she had to get over him, and in her mind, the sooner the better. And Miles was helping her accomplish that. Miles gently pulled away from her and looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Cut! That's a rap!" The director shouted. Everyone on the set cheered and started to clean up the equipment. Miles and Jude were still staring at each other.

"Jude," Miles whispered.

"Yeah?" Jude replied softy.

"Will you go to dinner with me?" he asked sincerely. Jude nodded her head and Miles smiled.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Jude said smiling happily. Jude grabbed his hand and they started to walk to the costume trailer to get dressed and leave.

(Broken; by Seether/Amy Lee)