AN: I have zero apologies for Sera making your eyes bleed. Zero.
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The trip back to Haven was going swiftly considering they had over a week before the saloon event to figure out if they even absolutely had to send Din'ara. That they needed the consultation of Josephine and Leliana for as no one was fooled that paired with a self assured Orleisian Enchantress Din'ara was just as likely to throw a glass of wine in her face as smile. Cassandra's amused discomfort over the insanity that had been Sera was smoothed over with a few shrugs and smiles as answers to the Seeker's queries on why she had been accepted. Really, considering that Cassandra had zero problems with Din'ara launching fruit at people as a known method to settle confrontations she was only faintly more perturbed over the admittedly confusing words of the low brow fellow female elf. One who had apparently gotten lost not far out of town 'It's not right all this nature shite out here! Where's the signs!?' and just tagged along with them though she was muttering to herself at the moment about how to keep bees alive in a jar.
It hadn't been any good to have suggestions over her meeting up with them later, or potentially not at all. "No one told ya to flap your gums." Had been Sera's comment before she'd ignored them. Oddly, it had been almost comforting and it took a while for the party to realize why the dismissal seemed familiar.
Din'ara also did not care one bit what others thought.
Solas had yet to catch her sleeping deeply enough to venture into the Fade and while Din'ara was tired, she counted it as a victory. He was catching on and the number of severe disapproving expressions he'd send her way every morning only made the mostly silent Herald grin wickedly at him. That she'd taken to drinking bitter tea to stay awake and it made the bald elf grimace at the smell only encouraged her.
Sera had noticed, and started drinking it too. Loudly. Slurping. Moaning. Which would just set off Din'ara into silent laughter and then no one could get a word in edgewise as Sera would begin chattering off the ears of all those present if she wasn't in the back muttering to herself. It started to make even the usually chattier members of the party emulate their leader more in their quiet adoption of enjoying the rare peace.
Varric had gotten to the point he was signing. Constantly. Because Sera would at times join in and her signs at least made sense unlike her speech but lately she was lagging behind muttering on bees. This obsession with bees was starting to worry him.
'You know he's going to blow his top.'
'I look forward to it. Think he'll go the lecturing parent route? Threaten to take a hand or belt to me?' Din'ara sent the most lewd grin Varric had seen out of her yet and the dwarf choked. Truly, the silent ones were always underestimated. If Chuckles thought he'd be able to force her in line he was in for a very long, and in the end fruitless, wait. Fruitless. Hah!
'He may offer to spank you.' Varric signed back and was treated to the sight of the Herald doubling over on her legs (because they'd forgone the mounts in order to make better time with shortcuts horses couldn't have used) in convulsions of silent laughter. At the confused expressions of the Seeker, and the faintly curious but still looking entirely unamused expression of the apostate, Varric verbally explained.
"I said you may spank her." He smirked at Solas. The shade of red he blushed went all the way over his scalp. Curious.
"For...?" Cassandra asked trying to hide the level of humor she had. "Pelting him with plums as has been her want?"
"Thought she'd switched to citrus?" Varric asked, curious.
"She has." Solas ventured his tone entirely without inflection and still flushed. Varric enjoyed casting his eyes from the slight form of one elf to the next, truly the two were comedy of the explosive sort without any interference.
"Went bad." Din'ara offered in her scratchy tone that always sent everyone's shoulder's tensing from sympathy. For whatever reason she felt healing herself, and sparing the pain of speaking that way, a waste.
"My appreciation then, for not having rotten items flung at my head though I am admittedly not terribly fond of limes. Or lemons." Solas said and from the sudden stiffness to the Seeker's form Varric realized she knew the slang for smutty romance.
Oho...
Now that was a nice tidbit of information. Always the silent ones...
Din'ara glanced over at Solas and lifted a brow. "Don't deserve. Yet." The butchering of her sentences always made the older elf scowl but he'd ceased badgering her to just heal her throat and speak properly. Perhaps he was hoping to head off the clearly incoming nonsense with Sera. If so, though it made Varric himself despair, he could have warned him there was no hope.
Now for just a moment the dwarf wondered about if Din'ara ever met Daisy or Fenris...
Hawke had ended up hiding in Starkhaven and since somehow she'd actually kept her betrothal to Chantry Boy under wraps no one had ever thought to look there. Just goes to show how everyone thought Ander's obsession with the Champion had been returned. Then again, for love of his friend, he hadn't revealed that part of her love life. Well and he didn't need to be accused of ruining a Prince of Starkhaven's reputation.
So yes. Picturing Din'ara with Daisy..not so hard. They'd probably sit there with Merrill waxing on about everything and nothing and Din'ara just nodding along with it. At some point though Sera probably would start that whole bit on peaches and take Merrill to the back and he did not want to think on that at all so..Fenris?
"Huh."
"Something to share, dwarf?" Cassandra drawled and he decided to take a page from his 'fearless glowing leader' and her tag along of crazy bee loving and just say whatever. Cassandra did seem to be loosening up a lot when around fruit bat.
"Just thinking that there's a good chance a friend of mine would either try to kill Fruit Bat here or slam her into a wall to ravish her. After a long build up of denial."
"Elf?" Din'ara asked and there was no blush on her face. The completely casual reaction made the other two pay attention. Cassandra had even turned around. Really. Did they not get that the silent ones were the ones to look out for? Varric had pegged Glowy as naughty as much as she was silent from the early days. Sera had clearly figured out the same and yet she was too far away to be part of this talk. The blonde elf could kick herself later.
"Yeah. Former slave. Silent, had some real anger problems, I call him Broody."
"The Lyrium marked Slave?" Cassandra's voice was incredulous before it turned thoughtful. "Perhaps. He seemed honorable in your writing..Fenris, was it?"
"Expecting a Dalish to have a relation with someone named so close to their most hated god.." Solas started before they were startled by a sudden sound.
It took several moments and then a few wide eyes to realize the deep sound was laughter. Audible laughter. It was raspy and seemed like it caused her pain but it was undeniably real laughter coming from the woman.
"Right who the fuck got shady lady bits to actually make noise?" Sera asked as she managed to catch up with a sly grin. "An what all I miss?"
"Eh I was thinking of setting Fruit bat up with a friend and Chuckles commented that his name is too much like the old Dread Wolf and the she started laughing."
"Oh! I gets that! The whole 'Dread Wolf Take you!' Right?" Sera grinned and had her hands making claw like shapes as she dropped her voice as low as it could go. It only made Din'ara laugh more, though it was back to the silent one. Still, Sera loved having an appreciative audience even if it had to be on an 'elfy' topic.
"Yeah that's it. Heard Lots of that. And Feenie Dis." Varric agreed purposefully skewing the last part to see Solas twitch. The girls were a bad influence.
"Oh. Wolfy bits. Right." Sera nodded, and grinned. "Even I know that one. Always worth learning the bad words even if it's all Rawr elfy Majestic fucktardis! Pwrrrt pop out more to fuel the return of empire pointy ears! Don't bang the bits that don't match ya or ya fail as elfy and no stick up yer butt fer ya!" Sera smirked at Din'ara who was grinning now as she nodded at the ranting of the blonde. "Kay. Share with the rest o the kids. Why's ol wrinkly big bad wolf make ya laugh?"
Din'ara lifted her normal hand and wiggled her fingers, confusing everyone until Sera nodded. Apparently consenting to the 'elfy weirdness magic shit' as it had become dubbed as long as it was to heal. Probably because otherwise it caused pain she never made fun of Din'ara doing such to talk. A moment later the Herald grinned. That mischievous smile that did not make her look sane. "Lived with the Dalish, often heard that."
"What'd you saaaayyyyyy?" Sera whined and leaned closer.
"Asked if he was really a wolf."
Sera started howling in laughter at Din'ara who just grinned.
"I do not understand the humor.." Solas said tersely and yet his ears were still bright red.
Din'ara glanced over at Solas, then at Sera and then up at Cassandra. The two males felt a bit odd as somehow it seemed through nods and shrugs the Blonde, Brunette, and mottled one came to a silent consensus. Women were scary. No matter the race.
"The idea is he could become a wolf. But no, just an ancient Elvhen God." Din'ara rolled her eyes as now Cassandra's blush and Sera's snickering betrayed they got the joke. A sigh and then she looked from Varric to Solas and said it very slowly. "In other words, he had experience. Worth being 'taken' by one who knows what to do instead of with an unskilled fumbling male. Especially as Gods are said to be vain, and thus attractive. I did not see anything negative about the idea."
"Hah! So this Fenris bloke, think he got skills? I heard bout that guy some Rivianni pirate I tumbled with, did this thing with her tongue an it's piercing that would make me squeal like a greased pig in the rain..said he did some magical fisting thing an ripped peoples hearts out. Imagine what those fingers could do."
"You met Isabella. You know what Sera.." Varric sighed. "That explains so much.."
Solas was curiously silent the rest of the day.
