Chapter 3: What are YOU doing here?
Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names.
Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue
"Now let's-a see. Mario needs to go-a to da left here and through the red warp pipe." Mario surmised, staring at the Map Quest directions he had gotten off the Opera Web Browser.
"But if I warp I won't be able to take my horse…" Link thought, tugging the reins on Epona.
"Boyo boi, boyoyoyo, boyo, boi, boi yo boyo. (And considering the fact that it's 29 degrees in Denver, Colorado now…)" Kirby said, tapping the battery meter on his Wiimote.
"Pika, pik, pik, pika, chu, pikchu, pika pi…" Pikachu finished, stowing his news channel prints away.
Mario pulled up to the red warp pipe and walked on in. A few moments later, Link ended up walking into a black and blue rip in the twilight. Kirby, "Crash-Landed" (Metaphorically speaking of course) his warpstar right between Mario's Kart and Epona and ended up taking the yellow warpstar upwards. And finally, Pikachu fell off the Mach Bike he rode in on and tripped into a green pokeball.
Mario reemerged through the other end of the warp pipe and walked into a dark room.
Link's gate soon dropped him into a black dimension which was like some type of twilight realm only darker…
Kirby fell off his star of dreams into a figurative nightmare of darkness, considering how dark the room was.
And Pikachu walked out of the pokeball dazed. He didn't like pokeballs too much, and it normally took him a minute to adjust to the light when he came out of one, but there was no light to adjust too (Shame eh?).
"What the hell-a happened?" Mario asked.
"Man, last time I walk into the light. Am I dead?" Link asked aloud.
"Boy o boyo boy (Boy oh boy oh boy! Where am I)?" Kirby wondered, trying to cut through the darkness.
"Pikachu, pika, ik, pik, ikachu, kach? Holy son of a Houndoom, where the Hoen am I? " Pikachu inquired. It took two steps back. "Chu Flash!" He cried out lighting up the immediate area with a flash attack.
"Hey, what was that?" The four of them asked. Now these Nintendo heroes aren't too bright (With the exception of a certain electric mouse, but he isn't exactly a genius either) and naturally when they heard the sounds of everyone asking the same question they decided to run to investigate. And there are plenty of reasons that explain why that was stupid.
Number 1: They're in a dark room and they're running around. Normal people like us know that if you run around in a dark room you're liable to step on something sharp or run into something because unless you're a cat, you damn well can't see.
Number 2: They've all met. Now odds are when you've known someone for a good seven years or so that you know their voice. Especially when those people only can only say "Boyo", "Kirby", "Bye", "Pikachu" and "It's-a me, Mario!". If you have to try and guess who they are, you've got a problem pal.
Number 3: If you're lost in a dark room, odds are that someone knows you're there, and you don't know what the hell they're planning if you can't see them and they can see you.
And finally, number four: When you hear that sound in that room, you know some one else is there with you. And when they hear you running, they'll run too. And if you don't run into each other and get a concussion then you'll probably scare each other off and'll have absolutely no idea how to help each other.
I could go on for a number of weeks about how terribly stupid those boys are but I've already used up too much space.
Anyway, those boys ended up rushing towards one another, in four different directions. And as they got closer to the center of the room, they could see each other just a little better. Now the Super Smash Brothers Brawl trailer'll have you thinking that those guys planned this meeting and they stopped before they hurt themselves. But fact is, they slammed into each other and near knocked one another out.
"Whaha!" Mario shouted as he jumped back up.
"Hut!" Link cried, drawing his sword and growling at Mario.
"Ha!" Kirby squeaked, spinning back around.
"Pika!" Pikachu finished as he rolled back to his feet.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" They all asked (in their own unique way of course).
"Come on: It's-a me, Mario! I gotta be here!" Mario explained, tipping his famous red hat.
"As the Hero of Time, I gotta be on time." Link answered coolly.
"Boyo(Lame)." Kirby uttered.
"Pikaika Seriously… …" Pikachu agreed. "Pik, pika, pik, pik, pi, pika, chu, chu, pik, pikachu, pik, chu! But anyway, you ran into me, I want an apology! "
"For what you little rodent? Shut uppa yo face!" Mario snarled.
"Hey, you stereotypical Italian bastard, you can't say that to him!" Link roared back, brandishing a sword.
"BOYO (BACK OFF)!" Kirby yelled, jumping infront of Mario.
"Pi-ka, pikachu Shut-up, douche!" Pikachu countered, going to Link's side.
"( THAT'S IT! )" They all screamed in unison. Mario flashed and took up a fighting stance. Link's eyes flickered and his tunic layered itself over a shirt of chain mail. Pikachu spun around and stretched out a little, slicking back its fur in a more slender looking form. Kirby looked back and forth, flashed once and… basically stayed the same.
Author's note: Now we're getting somewhere. I was still rolling with this one, so I'll add chapter 4 too. I've been having troubles with the Pikachu vs. Kirby translations and think I'm gonna have 'em both in parentheticals from now on, like this (blah). I orignally had the blah arrow deal for Pikachu, but now it feels like a forced attempt at individuality. Chapter 4 contains fighting, I promise.