Shadow in his apartment, having most of his valuable accessories repossessed. Shadow goes to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror, and combs his hair to get that old Justin Bieber, Drake Bell, Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 3 look, and heads out the door.
Shadow is strolling down the streets, twirling, and dancing as if he got fucking laid, all the people scream and run away because he's a freak of nature, I mean, would you be scared if a giant hedgehog that knew how to dance walked down the street?
"Why are people running away from? I'm the ultimate life-form?" He asks himself
He enters a club, the bouncer asks for ID, Shadow turns out to be 50 years old because of all that weird space colony ARK backstory from Sonic Adventure 2 and Shadow the Hedgehog, Shadow pours one out for the dead Maria.
"Maria" Shadow says
As Shadow enters the club, he dances on one of the platforms, but just like outside, no one wants to see some freak dance, he is kicked out of the club, and heads to the church belltower, the place where all the kids going through their emo phase go.
"Who am I? And why can't I remember anything?" Shadow asks himself, wondering where did everything go wrong.
Shadow punches the church bell and makes all the other emo kids deaf, good job there kiddo, but as he is punching the bell, the black coloring of his fur is turning blue, it turns out he was Sonic the hedgehog all along, just covered in oil from the BP oil spill, that's why he can't remember anything! It all makes sense! Oh SEGA you!
The oil spills to the bottom of the church where Sasuke is praying for his lord and savior Topher Grace to kill Shadow the hedgehog.
"Please Mr. Grace, I love That 70's Show and Shadow is jocking my style, being all angsty and conflicted and shit, make him die and or fuck off"
The oil from Shadow, or should I say Sonic falls on top of Sasuke's head and he transforms into…..nothing, he's still Sasuke, but he's pissed as fuck now.