No no no no no...
Keller's mind was a tumultuous maelstrom of emotions. She couldn't remember feeling so disorientated in her life. Somehow she made it out of the room and stumbled down the hall to the spacious white bathroom, where she finally allowed the distress to flow through her body. She gripped the edge of the sink for support, feeling the dead weight of despair settle in.
How could this happen?
She lifted her head to the mirror, studying her reflection. A plain pale face gazed back, framed with thick straight black hair that hung to her waist. The only thing slightly remarkable about her appearance, she noted dispassionately, were her eyes. Large and and piercing, they were a brilliant emerald green, with a ring of gold around the black pupils. Cats eyes.
She wasn't unattractive, she supposed, turning her face this way and that. Her skin was smooth and clear, her cheekbones high, her nose straight...but her eyebrows were thick and dark, her jaw slightly squared and...ughh! She just wasn't in the same STRATOSPHERE as Iliana. That girl should have angel wings and a halo, she thought disgustedly. She deserved someone like...Galen. Though her heart wrenched picturing them together, she couldn't deny it. From the first moment she had seen them together, Galen cradling an unconscious Iliana in his arms, she had thought how good they looked. The beautiful boy with golden hair and green eyes – though they weren't quite as bright as hers, a small self-compassionate voice told her – a perfect match to the tiny girl with silky, silvery hair, wide violet eyes, a delicate frame...and soft, pink lips...
NO. Stop it, Keller told herself furiously. She glared into the mirror, as though to frighten the truth away from herself. She could get through this. Just...don't think about what just happened, she told herself. Finish this job, deliver...the girl – Keller couldn't even bring herself to think her name – and you can go away somewhere...maybe work for a Daybreak group on the other side of the world. Yes, Keller thought. That sounds good. She ignored the empty feeling in her stomach, composing her face into a cool, detached expression.
The rest of the night passed without incident, Keller taking great care to stand as far away from Iliana as possible and avoiding her questioning gaze. Later, once they had sorted the sleeping arrangements – Galen in the spare room, Winnie on Iliana's floor, she and Nissa on couches in the living room – she let the facade drop, allowing misery to etch itself onto her features. She lay facing away from Nissa and stared into the dark material on her couch. Sleep wasn't going to come tonight.
"You look terrible, boss!" Winnie chirped as she danced into the kitchen bright and early the next morning, where Nissa and Keller were sat waiting. She felt terrible. She had snatched a few hours sleep but for the most part, been unable to turn her mind off. She'd only drifted now and then when exhaustion overcame her. Now she sat hunched over a steaming mug of coffee, feeling sluggish and sick. After her fight with the dragon the day before, she'd really needed a full nights sleep.
"Thanks." she murmered.
Iliana came dancing into the kitchen behind Winnie, followed by Galen. They both looked the opposite to how she felt – well-rested, light and full of life. Not to mention beautiful. How did Iliana wake up like that, she thought sourly, hair falling smooth and silky and cheeks rosy? Keller's own hair was a mass of tangles and her complexion pallid.
"BREAKFAST!" Iliana's mother glided into the kitchen, looking like Iliana's older sister. In fact the only differences were, Keller noted, that she was slight taller, her slim figure slighty more filled out, her cheeks plumper and her silvery hair pulled into a twist at the nape of her neck. Still it was no surprise, the Harman women always won in beauty. Keller's gaze shifted to Iliana again, who was pulling juice cartons out of the fridge. She looked like she'd been plucked out of a fairy-tale book. She sighed.
"Morning Mrs Dominick." Nissa said, always polite.
"Morning Anna," Galen smiled charmingly.
"Morning," Keller muttered, after a swift elbow poke.
"What do you feel like eating, girls?" Mrs Dominick breezed over to her daughter at the fridge, smiling brightly at them all.
"I'll make you anything you want! Anything for Iliana's dear friends." She laid a hand on her daughters shoulder, still smiling.
"Oooh mum, can we have pancakes?" Iliana piped up.
There was a general chorus of approval.
"Of course! Pancakes it is." She busied herself at the stove, looking like a domestic goddess.
"Can I help you at all Ma'am?" Galen. Sickeningly sweet thought Keller disgustedly, he couldn't make his crush anymore obvious. Iliana gave him a dazzling smile and Keller felt sick.
"So," Iliana flopped into a chair opposite Keller. "What's the plan today?" Keller forced her brain into gear.
"We take you to school. You tell your teachers something, I don't know, that we're your...relatives visiting from California.."
"Is that where you're from?" Iliana asked softly.
Keller met her gaze, ignoring the fireworks it set off inside her. "I'm from Boston." she replied flatly.
"I've always wanted to go there.." Iliana said. Her words were nonchalant, but Keller could read her eyes. She was interested, and more than a little confused at their connection. But she didn't know what it was. Keller looked away. She would never find out.
"I was abandoned there as a baby. I haven't been back since." She gritted her teeth, ignoring the waves of sympathy she felt from Iliana. She addressed the table again.
"Two of us stick by her at all times, the other two patrol the perimeter. I've already put in a call to Daybreak, we'll have extra guards posted at the school but they won't be inside. It's just us, we want to raise as little suspicion as possible."
"I – I don't mean to cause you so much trouble." Iliana said softly. "I just – I'm not the one you're looking for."
Oh yes you are, thought Keller. In more ways than one. She refused to look at her, and Winnie caught her attention, leaving Keller to mull alone in her thoughts. She was so caught up she didn't notice Nissa's cool, thoughtful gaze on her.
An hour later they were speeding through the suburbs of North Carolina, on their way to Iliana's school. This was, Keller mused darky, the stupidest thing she'd ever done in her whole life. Actually, no...the stupidest thing had been touching Iliana. She'd put so much time and energy into Circle Daybreak's cause, she'd be damned if she'd be the one to ruin it...
In the back, Iliana was chirping happily to Winnie. The two were getting along like a house on fire, and Keller couldn't help but feel a tiny bit jealous as they laughed together. She'd been pleasantly impressed at breakfast, when she'd seen how much Iliana had eaten. She'd been the tiniest one at the table, yet had put away more pancakes than any of them. Well she needs it, Keller thought. She's like a little ball of energy. Galen will have his work cut out for him...another wrench.
Dammit! Her own thoughts would be the death of her.
"We're here!" Iliana sung a little while later. Nissa pulled the car smoothly into a slot close to the buildings entrance. Keller automatically jumped out of the car first, expanding her senses as she had done the day before (was it really only the day before?) at the mall.
"All clear," she said to Winnie and Nissa who had followed her out. She opened the door for Iliana, who looked affronted at having had the door shut on her after Winnie. Galen climbed out after her.
"Let's go." Nissa said, ready to follow behind them.
"Let's get this party on the road!" Winnie sang, slipping her arm though Iliana's.
Let's get this over with, Keller thought darkly as they started up the steps to the high school.
The first thing Keller noticed about the school, was Iliana. She was it here, no wonder she'd been so adamant about coming. She was the Queen Bee. But not, she thought, in the usual ways...people liked her. She was nice. All through the morning, people kept coming up to her, thanking her for this and for that, talking to her about various committees, asking her advice on anything and everything...she was devastatingly polite to them all, always directing the conversation back to the other person, inquiring about their family, laughing off the compliments...which came in droves. It wasn't just Galen, Keller saw, who was head-over-heels in love with Iliana. So, it seemed, was the entire male student body. And all the females too. Everyone wanted to be her friend. Just being near the centre of all that attention made Keller feel dazed, she couldn't imagine what it was like to have it all directed on you...but Iliana seemed to enjoy it. She thrived here, and Keller was about to take it all away from her. In that moment, she hated herself. She looked at Iliana, glowing with happiness and felt it, pulsating through the air. She sure hoped this emotion thing was a one-way connection...she couldn't bear the thought of tainting Iliana's natural bliss with her anger and resentment. She felt Nissa's eyes on her as she watched Iliana, and kept her face in an expression of cool detachment.
Just bear it, she chanted to herself. Just for now.