CHAPTER 4

A week passed since the shooting and Meredith was finally released from the hospital,on a promise that for the next month or so she would take it easy not that she had much of a choice she thought as she and Derek arrived home and Meredith slowly walking into the house with the help of her husband who had never left her side at the hospital. She knew he still blamed himself for what had happend but as she kept reminding him on a daily basis that it wasn't his fault,but still she knew he felt responsible and would always feel that in pain Meredith slowly made her way to the couch and gratefully layed down and suddenly closed her eyes feeling the tiredness kicking in and promptly fell asleep.

Derek was in the kitchen making something to eat when he thought he heard snores coming from the living room,chuckling he went into the living room and noticed that his wife was sound asleep completely unaware of her snores which after all that she had been through was a complete miracle. Quietly moving back to the kitchen Derek started to think about his future with Meredith ,the baby and realized that he couldn't be there for both for as along as he was chief and maybe the shooting made him realize that being the head honcho wasn't worth it,no way uh uh. So when he got the got the chance he was going to go to the board and announce his resignation, and probably wouldn't be surprised with what happend to Meredith and about this made him feel depressed so he grabbed his food and quietly went into the living room and turned on the tv to a very respectable level when the phone began to ring,and he quickly grabbed the phone before it could wake her up.

"Hello?" he answered

"Hi Derek how's Meredith doing?"Replied Richard for who was now running the hospital for Derek for the time being.

He glanced at Meredith who was still peacefully sleeping for the moment "Resting for the moment which is a good thing considering she didn't get alot of it." he answered back.

The phone was silent before Richard said " Good then she needs her rest.I hate to be asking this right now,
but when are you coming back to the hospital? i mean i'm not trying to rush you or anything,but we could use you right about now."

Derek sighed he knew that was coming it's been over a week since the shooting and he had not done a single thing to help the hospital,and everyone had understood that Meredith had come first but now?
they all wanted him to resume his duty as the chief.

"Richard i'm not coming back for awhile Meredith still needs me and i can't leave her not right now."

Richard was silent for a moment before asking " When are you planning to come back Derek?"

Here was the perfect opportunity to tell him what he was going to do "Richard there is something i must discuss with you." Derek said and slowly got up and off the couch and to not disturb Meredith who was still sleeping.

Meredith awoke to murmuring a short time later she groggily looked up and spotted Derek talking on the phone with someone trying to be quiet about it but not succeeding either,she couldn't help but notice how her husbands voice got a little bit louder at each time he what this was about she slowly sat up and then slowly stood up and very painfully made her way towards her kitchen where it looked like Derek was going to explode.

"Is everything okay?" she asked softly and watched as her husbands head automatically turned towards hers.

"Richard i got to go Meredith's up i'll call you later." Derek said and abruptly hung up then looked at his wife who had concern written on her face.

He went over and kissed her giving her a hug in the process "Hey what are you doing up?" he asked softly

Meredith shrugged "The phone woke me up."she watched as Derek looked at her with guilt in his eyes,and she waved it off "Not your fault,so was that Richard i heard on the phone?" she asked.

"Uh yeah he was uh calling to check up on you to see how you were doing." Derek lied and felt guilty about it.

She arched her brow " Really so why does it look like you want to break something?"

He wanted to groan he should have known that Meredith would pick up on it she was good at that,however he still wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Everything is fine Meredith trust me." Derek assured her.

"If you say so." Meredith said not really wanting to argue about it.

Derek knew she didn't believe him and was relieved when she didn't push it " So what are doing up physically i mean? aren't you supposed to be lying down or something?" he asked.

She shrugged " I don't know i guess i got a little hungry or something,for the baby i guess."

He frowned " Is everything okay Mer? you don't sound like yourself you'd normally be jumping at the chance for food."

Meredith sighed " I don't know i've been feeling like this for awhile now ever since the hospital,i just don't feel like eating."

"Meredith you haven't been back for more than a few hours." Derek pointed out.

"I know that so stop bugging me about it." she snapped.

He didn't want to argue with her right now so he went and grabbed her a banana and tossed it to her "Here at least eat this for now.

Meredith automatically reached for it and began to peel it and slowly began to eat it "Thanks now could you help me to the bedroom please?" she asked.

Derek nodded and went over and helped Meredith up the stairs and into the bedroom where she lifted up the blanket and slowly crawled into the bed,and gratefully managed to lay couldn't help but notice how pale she really was with dark circles underneath the eyes made him realize just how much she has suffered through out this,and more than likely will continue to didn't realize how lucky he was til it was almost too late and now, he was more than ready to do whatever it took to make sure he kept it.

Meredith was watching him and judging from the look in his eyes, she knew he was concerned for her and had every right to be but she wasn't ready to talk about what happend for at least right now anyways,at some point she'll have to but until then she'll try to be as normal as she could possibly be.

"Derek..." she began

"Yes Meredith." he said eagerly

"I know you want to talk about it,the baby and everything but could you please be patient with me? i'm not ready to discuss it right now,okay?" she asked pleading with him.

Derek hesitated for a minute before responding with " Sure take all the time you need,i'm not going anywhere." And then he saw the most beautiful smile come across Meredith's face and realized that it was the first one in quite sometime.

"Thank you ." she said and sat up and gave him a quick kiss before laying back down.

"You're welcome,now why don't you get some rest and i'll check on you a little bit later okay?" he asked gently stroking her hair.

Meredith smiled and nodded " Okay." she said and closed her eyes and within seconds her breathing began to even out,which meant she was asleep and that he could leave. As he got up and off the bed Derek realized that stepping down as the chief of surgery was going to be the best thing he ever did and knowing that made him feel alot better about everything.

Derek had been downstairs for a little over a hour before he heard a sound which sent a chill down his spine and something he had sworn he would never hear, Meredith's scream.

So let the nightmare's begin,it's going to the beginning of a slow healing process for Meredith and Derek who now has to deal with the aftermath so stay tuned.I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and hope that you will review since they mean so much to me,thanks and enjoy!