Hello lovely readers! So when I originally wrote this chapter I was in a really weird mood and when I reread it I realized it was kinda silly so I rewrote it. Hopefully this version is better!
"No parent should have to bury their child."- King Théoden, Lord of the Rings.
o0o
The war is over.
The war is over.
The war is over.
Herc is sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. It's 4am, but he can't sleep. He had a nightmare and it forced him from his slumber. He dreamt that there was another Kaiju war and when he awoke, he had to repeat to himself that the war is over. Usually he would just tell himself his list... But there is literally none of his list left.
1) Chuck.
Chuck is long dead. He died with Stacker. He lost his best friend and only child at the same time.
2) Protecting the Earth.
The Earth is protected. There's no more Kaiju's left to fight.
3) Geneva.
She left six months after the victory day. Herc was in bad shape after Chuck's death. Of course he was; any parent would be. Geneva could never understand. She wasn't a mother. But she knew the pain of losing people. But she just couldn't sit and watch as Herc recoiled deeper and deeper into himself...
He stands at his son's grave, his throat tightening and tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. It's cold out. It bites at his skin. She comes up beside him, trying to be as silent as possible. He doesn't look at her.
"Herc, I'm so sorry," she says softly. He doesn't answer her. "Is there anything you need me to do?" she asks.
Only then does he look at her. And his face breaks his heart. His beautiful blue eyes are glistening with tears and he looks so... Defeated. Crushed. When he speaks, his voice cracks,
"No. The only thing I need is him. And you can't bring him back."
She swallows and looks away from his broken face. She leaves, and he doesn't stop her...
From then on, he would barely even look at her. They began to lose each other. However, the blame wasn't entirely his to bear. Geneva allowed her depression and anxiety to creep back. Before, she was so preoccupied with trying to fight that she was able to bury this sadness, this illness deep down inside her. She let it rot away, but eventually it grew and spread into a poison that destroyed her from the inside.
Herc couldn't keep her with him and she didn't want to stay. She went back to London and he heard that she's found herself a fiancé and had a baby. He hopes she's happy... Despite the bitterness he now harbors towards her.
He lies back down on his bed, shutting his eyes once again. Sleep... Please sleep. Sleep is all he needs right now. It's the only thing he needs- and the one thing he can never seem to get enough of.
o0o
Herc stands over his son's grave. His heart is tight, but there are no tears in his eyes. Instead, he's twisting a piece of cloth tightly in his hands. It calms him. But his phone begins ringing, loud and piercing against his ears. He lets out an angry curse before pulling out the phone. He doesn't recognize the number.
"This is Hansen," he says gruffly, hoping the person on the other end would be quick.
"I was wondering if you still had the same number,"
He knows that voice. It's belongs to her. But her voice isn't something he wants to hear right now. She hasn't bothered to call him in two years.
"What do you want?" he asks gruffly.
"I'm sorry for what I did-"
"I needed you and you left. I didn't hear from you in two years, you could have died for all I knew!"
"You didn't try to call me either, love. I am truly sorry for what I did... But every day, I regretted what I did. I never should have left you... I need you..." She whispers. Herc swallows, not entirely sure of what to do. He can hear Geneva sigh on the other side.
"Please, talk to me-"
"You have a kid now don't you?" he interrupts.
"Yeah, her name is Indiana. She's almost a year old."
"What about her dad? Your fiancé?" he asks, his voice still just a little too harsh for her liking. \
"No... He's gone. He says he was tired of competing with another man."
"And who is this other man now, Geneva? How many men do you have trailing after you-"
"Who the fuck do you think the other man is, Hercules!? It's you for Christ sakes. It's always been you!"
'Me...?"
"Yes, love. It's you and I've been too embarrassed and ashamed to tell you that until now. I don't expect you to forgive me but... But I'm here. And I will do anything for you."
"Christ, Geneva. How do you always manage to force your way back into my life?" he says, closing his eyes.
"Because you always want me to, love."
o0o
Why am I doing this?
Herc thinks to himself as he sits in the plane, preparing for the long flight to London. His superiors believe him to be "emotionally unstable" after his son's death and they insisted he takes time to recover. However, instead of grieving and drinking beer like he should be doing, he instead jumped on a plane for a long ass flight. But he wants to see her, so the long ass flight was worth it. She gave him her apartment address and he couldn't stay away any longer. He sighs and leans back into the chair, wrinkling his nose at the smell of the old fabric seats. He closes his eyes, desperately wanting to sleep but knowing he won't. He'll just be plagued with nightmares, like he always is. Those nightmares about Chuck being killed, Stacker dying and whole cities being destroyed, those images repeat themselves over and over in his mind.
o0o
Herc walks up to the small flat in London, worry making his throat tight. He hasn't seen her in almost two years and the last time they saw each other face to face, they left on a bad note...
She's trembling, her arms crossed across her body in attempts to make it stop. He's sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. He's crying. She's not.
"I just can't," she whispers.
"Please don't," he chokes out.
"I'm sorry. I love you."
And with that, she's gone...
They did have the conversation on the phone though. He takes a deep breath and raises his hand and knocks three times. He hears hurried feet and the door soon swings open. And there she is, staring at him doe eyes and with her mouth hanging open.
"You actually came," she whispers. Herc allows himself to smile at her.
"Well, you know I didn't have anything better to do." He says. Geneva rolls her eyes at him. She steps aside and gestures for him to come inside. Her flat is almost entirely white; he's almost scared he's going to mar the flooring with his boots. Everything is so white, even the damn couch cushions. But then he hears something that makes his heart ache... the sound of a baby crying. He hasn't heard that since Chuck was a baby. He inadvertently looks towards the sound, trying to find the source of the noise. Geneva reaches forward, letting her fingers hover over his hand.
"What to come see her?" she whispers, her gaze still focused on his hand. He nods and she swallows, pulling her hand back and begins walking down to the bedroom. The baby is in the crib, wrapped in a blue blanket. Geneva goes to her and the baby reaches her little arms up, taking some of Geneva's long hair in her fingers. The baby has black hair, like her mother, but she has crystal blue eyes, from her father. Herc walks over to them, almost fascinated with the small girl in the crib.
"You can hold her, if you want of course." Geneva says quietly. Herc looks at her and nods. She steps back and he slips his arms around the small girl. She doesn't cry, but he's not used to having such a delicate thing in his arms. He's always been rough and coarse, not caring whether he hurt anyone. The only time he was careful was with Angela or when Chuck was a baby. But those times are long past. Indiana reaches up her little hand and touches Herc's rough chin. Her hand feels soft on his skin.
"She likes you," Geneva whispers. She's right beside him, her chin resting lightly on his shoulder. Herc tightens his grip on the girl and turns his head to look at Geneva. Their lips are so close that they brush against each other. Geneva begins to move closer, but Herc snaps his head away. He carefully lays the baby back in the crib, pulling the blanket across her body. He leaves the room, Geneva hot on his heels.
"Herc, what-"
"Should you even be taking care of her on your own?" Herc says, turning back and glares at her.
"What do you mean?"
"You're fucking depressed and have anxiety. What if you can't take care of her-"
"So you doubt me?" she fires back at him, anger in her eyes.
"Yes! What if you leave her like you did to me!?" he yells. Her eyebrows shoot up and she takes a step back.
"I was sick... I was sick then. I'm better now! I got help and-"
"And you're all better just like that?" he snarls. She looks at the floor, biting her lip.
"I would never leave her-"
"You once told me the same thing. But you left me. What's to stop you from doing the same to her?" he asks.
"Stop! Please stop this!" she yells at him. "I know you hate me! I know that! And it kills me inside that you do. But don't you dare think that I would ever leave my child!" she shouts. He sees tears welling in her eyes, but she swipes them away before they have a chance to make their way down her face. While she does that, the sleeve of her shirt falls down and Herc sees the one thing he wishes he didn't. Burn marks, from cigarettes. The angry red welts practically jump off her white skin. There are also other paler, fainter ones, they're older ones, self-inflicted from long ago. He grabs her wrist and pulls her arm down, looking at the burns.
"These are fresh," He observes, his hand tightening around her wrist. "And you're telling me that you're alright to take care of this child?" he asks.
She rips her arm out of his grasp... And her hand flies up and slaps him across his cheek so hard that his head snaps to the side. He stares at her, his fingers brushing against the red mark that's now forming on his cheek. She's trembling, her hands are shaking violently.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that-"she begins to say, but he holds up his hand. This entire time, he was testing her, seeing if she was back to her old self. If she really was... Better.
"No. I'm glad you did because it showed me that you're back to being you. You're back to that angry, stubborn woman I knew. Now, will that woman leave me again?" he asks, his voice considerably softer.
"No, love," she says. She steps forwards, placing her hand on his cheek. Her hand is icy against his now hot skin. "Now will you come back to me?" she whispers. She tilts her head to the side, taking in his appearance. There are dark shadows under his eyes, he has a thicker beard. His lips are chapped and his eyelids look heavy. He looks tired. Plain and simple, he just looks tired.
"When's the last time you had a full nights sleep?" she asks.
He opens his mouth to answer, but he doesn't have an answer. Geneva sighs and takes his hand, ready to lead him to a room but he pulls her to a stop.
"I was going to get a hotel-"
"Shut up. You're here now and you're exhausted." She says. She pulls him to her room, flicking on the lamp when they get there. He shrugs off his jacket and kicks off his boots, while she pulls the sheets back.
"I have to check on the baby. Just go to sleep, love." She says. Before leaving, she turns around and kisses him. He's forgotten how much he missed the feeling of her lips. Her arms are around his neck and she buries her face into the crook of his neck, like she's done so many times before. He holds her tightly, like he used to do.
"I love you," she whispers.
"I know." He responds. She let's go of him and goes to the baby's room. Herc practically falls on the bed, letting out a sigh. Before falling asleep... He needs to make a list again. His list used to help him sleep. Maybe that's why he hasn't been able to sleep.
Ok. You can do this, he says to himself.
1) Chuck.
He'll never stop caring about him. Never.
2) Geneva
He loves her. He knows that now.
3)
He doesn't have that one yet. Maybe that's not a terrible thing. He'll find number three one day. For now, he has a small list. He's back to the start... But it'll grow. Like the last one did. It just takes time.
He closes his eyes. Her room smells good, like lavender. He hears the door open and Geneva slips into bed beside him. Maybe tonight, he can finally get sleep.