Eremika smut drabble #4

Title: A Sister, A Friend, A Lover (Part I)

Rated: M

Summary: Armin tried to help Eren to sort out his feelings for Mikasa, but it wasn't so easy for him after all. Is she a sister, a friend, a lover? Or maybe, all of those didn't matter. It scared him to know just how much he wanted her.

Notes: This has been my longest smut piece (and the one I most enjoyed) just yet. I decided to split them into two parts because most likely I will end up with a 10-k words fanfic piece.

Reviews are always more than welcome.

Enjoy!

"Damn!"

Eren Yeager woke up from his dream, cursing and breathing heavily. Drops of sweat were trickling down his skin, and he was surprised to find his body shaking. It was that dream.. that dream again. He groaned, painfully trying to keep it under his breath. Quietly he listened to pick up signs that any of his roommates was woken up by his noise. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be deep asleep still. Reiner's thundering snore seemed to have drowned the noises he made. A little bit relieved, he threw himself back to bed. His relief was short-lived, however – for soon he felt something on his body began to throb painfully.

Crap, he muttered, clenching his fist and gritting his teeth to hold himself back. He wasn't going to be able to sleep now. This was going to be a night he dreaded the most, just yet.

"Armin!" the next morning Eren found his friend on his usual spot – in the castle garden, beneath a big tree – the same tree he was always sitting under everyday, when he had a little bit of free time and wanted to spend it alone, relaxing.

"Hey, Eren," Armin replied, taking his eyes off his book to glance at his best friend.

"Sorry, am I interrupting you?" asked the dark-haired boy who, upon drawing nearer, noticed that his friend seemed to have prepared for a quiet time alone. Armin immediately shook his head, throwing a smile to him. "Not at all," he said. "What is it, Eren? Something you want to tell me?" he asked, moving a little to the side so that Eren could sit near him. The other boy threw himself on the grass beside him, leaning on the tree trunk but said nothing still. Armin had been with him for too long to not notice that something was off about his best friend today. Something seemed to be greatly troubling him – but Armin knew better than to ask. Quietly he flipped on his book pages, patiently waiting for Eren until he had sorted out his mind and ready to tell whatever was bothering him.

"Armin, don't you think… that Mikasa's gotten much more attention these days…?" came his first words, and Armin raised his eyebrows. He sure didn't expect that.

"As in… after she slayed the female titan? Cutting Annie's hands to prevent her from escaping? Yes, of course," said Armin, unsure of the direction of this talk. "She sure got a lot of attention – all the higher-ups in the Scouting Legion praised her good works."

"No! I mean not in that kind of way. These… Jean, other guys… I heard they were talking about her… more and more often."

Armin, now having a slight idea of where his best friend was heading, tried to purse his lips to hold his smile. "Well, she's attractive, Eren, that's one way to put it," he said, in a voice he hoped to be casual enough. "As a soldier, as a girl, as a female… After all…," he leaned himself toward Eren, trying to look solemn, though inside he was desperately holding back his grin. "Have you never been… 'turned-on' by her?"

"Armin!" Eren snapped, surprised by his best friend's choice of words. Armin merely shrugged, trying to feign ignorance though Eren could still see the traces of smile on the corner of his lips. "I learned that word from Jean," he said. "I'm also a guy, you know… I was there all of those times you guys talk about… 'things'. And my ears aren't just empty holes, they're meant to listen." Eren sulked and swallowed back his words.

"So…?" Armin decided to break the silence after a while.

"So… so what?" Eren asked back, purposedfuly not meeting his best friend's eye.

"So have you ever felt turned on by Mikasa?" Armin finished his question, and Eren felt his face growing hot uncontrollably. Damn Armin and his third eye. He didn't want to answer that question because, put it simply, there was no way he could have answered it without embarrassing himself.

"Oh – it's not Mikasa, then…," said Armin, mentally grinning, pretending not to notice the red color that had spread all over Eren's face. "Other girls, maybe… Christa, Annie…?"

"She fucking threw me halfway across the field on our hand-to-hand combat practice, and almost killed me on her titan rampage, how the hell is that supposed to turn me on?" he argued heatedly, but stopped upon seeing the smug look on his best friend's face. "What?" he said.

"Then, Eren, have you ever been 'turned on' by girls… at all…? Or else, I'd say that you are…," Armin flipped a few pages on his book before continuing – "Sexually dysfunctional."

"I'm going to break Jean's neck."

"I got that one from a book, actually," said Armin, smirking. "So… are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Sexually dysfunctional."

"NO! God's sake, Armin – I might be in the military, but I'm not dead."

"It is Mikasa then, isn't it?" said Armin with a victorious grin. "You finally realize you have a thing for her."

"How did you know?" said Eren, feeling even stupider by the second. Armin merely chuckled.

"Because if it isn't for her, you will never be so disturbed," he replied. And because I've seen you both for six years, and to be honest, you are progressing slower than a crawling snail. However, he took care not to say the last thing out loud.

"What is she to you, Eren?" asked Armin, attempting to drive his best friend into sorting out and finally realizing his feelings for her.

Eren fell silent upon hearing the question. Once again, Armin seemed to be demonstrating his ability of pointing out a good question that he didn't have an answer to.

"I don't know," Eren said, after a moment of silence that seemed like forever. "This is Mikasa we're talking about – we grew up together. It's not like it's easy to figure out… what she is to me."

"But she is definitely not a friend to you, is she, Eren?"

"I don't like her constant nagging – she treats me like I can't take care of myself," said Eren, deliberately getting off the point to avoid Armin's disturbing question.

"She did it because she cares about you, Eren," Armin argued, looking at his best friend square on his eyes. He was careful not to mention the point that the reason Mikasa protected him so much was probably because Eren, most obviously, couldn't take care of himself. "You didn't see her when you came out of the titan carcass. She completely broke down crying because you were still alive. I've never seen Mikasa cry that hard before."

Though Armin couldn't ever thank Eren enough for saving him back then, for pulling him out of a titan's mouth and sacrificing himself for his cause – he couldn't help but realize one thing: Eren was a constant trouble magnet. And without Mikasa around to pull him out of those, he might as well bid good-bye to this world – for he possessed the worst combination of extreme valor and will to act, but lacked the abilities to think thoroughly. He was not nicknamed a 'suicidal bastard' for nothing, after all.

"Surely you have realized by now, right, Eren? That you seriously mean the world to her."

Eren drew back, startled at his best friend's statement. Armin seemed to always have the uncanny ability to point out the most obvious, but discomforting, truth. He scratched his head, not trying to answer Armin's question. What is Mikasa to him, exactly?

A friend? She can be – after all, she was always there all the time, wasn't she? They have been through the best and the worst of times – laughing together, fighting off the town bullies, running around barefooted on the woods and playing in the river – until his mother yelled at them for coming home so late.

Or… is she a family? She certainly is – in a way. She lived with him and his family for a year, after he took her in. And though they are not related by blood, she did use the word 'family' for him every so often – though now, as he realized it – it was getting less and less convincing on both ends, for him and (maybe) for her too.

But if she is a friend, a family, why is it that he felt such a… disturbing feeling whenever he had seen her near Jean? And why is it that, sometimes, when he accidentally caught other guys' lusty, lingering glances toward her – he couldn't help but feel as though his blood was boiling, and he wanted to turn into a titan right there, starting a rampage, and stomping them all to pieces?

And if she is a sister, a friend to him then just why – he swallowed hard at this thought – why did he have that dream about her? And not just a single dream either, but a recurrent, revisiting kind of dream. In every dream it was the same – it was Mikasa, touching him, gently stroking him where he thought she would, her strands of black hair swaying gently, falling softly to his bare chest as she laid beside him.

And in every dreams, he was touching her, kissing her – feeling her. He had been having these for several months now, each dream was more arousing than the last. Until finally, he had the dream last night, which had been his most intense dream just yet. He wasn't even able to see the end before the heat of it forced him awake, unable to sleep again, sweating and throbbing and trembling with the need. Horror-struck and unable to believe himself, he finally realized one thing.

He wanted to make love to Mikasa. He desperately, urgently, wanted to make love to Mikasa, his childhood friend, his supposed-sister.

But how come? That defied all reasons. She was his sister – not technically, but she was just as good as one. He had always seen her as one, for all the years they had been together. The idea of being attracted to her as an opposite gender never even occurred to him. To tell the truth, he had never even realized that Mikasa was from an opposite gender. At least, not until those disturbing dreams began to visit him – and he started to see her differently.

He had dismissed those dreams when they just began, telling himself that they meant nothing. But then they started to occur more often, and he started to notice… things. Sometimes, when he was standing behind her, he could see how small her shoulders were – compared to his. And, though he knew she strengthened her muscles everyday – he couldn't help but realize how delicate the lines on her body seemed to be. Even her pair of dark eyes, her charcoal black hair, her pale skin that went red under the heat of summer or the frost of winter, and all the other small, minuscule features on her face… they seemed to be somewhat different – different from the Mikasa he used to know at childhood.

And suddenly, it wasn't easy anymore to look at her. He used to be able to stare at her for so long without as much as caring, but now the sight of her – putting her hair behind her ears, looking at him with that look on her face, or gently caressing her scarf and smiling quietly at the article, at the memory and the bond it once gave her – was almost unbearable for him.

And sometimes, when her fingers brushed against his, or when she touched him gently on his shoulder, his arms… he couldn't help but feel greatly disturbed. It wasn't because he didn't like it – actually, it was the opposite. He liked it. He liked it very, very much that he had to immediately shake her off before he gave in to the urge to straight-out grab those fingers and tangle them with his own, push her to the wall, and let his ravenous tongue roam every inches of her.

And it scared him. It scared him to know just how much he wanted her.

What is she to you, Eren?

A sister? A friend? A lover? Or maybe, was he just so desperate that she was just an alternative to loneliness? He could keep on questioning himself forever, and he still wouldn't have the answer. Not unless….

"Eren, Armin," a female voice called to them from inside the castle gates. A cool, delicate female voice that he was indeed very familiar with. He felt his heart stopped as her footsteps approached, and that voice spoke yet again, with the same gentleness she had always used when speaking to both of them,"What are you boys doing here…?"

Mikasa.

"Just boys' talk," Eren heard Armin replied lightly – the blonde immediately offered his warm smile to her. "Would you like to join, Mikasa?"

What the hell is Armin saying? They were just talking about her, and here Armin asked her to join?

"Oh – I'm looking for Eren, actually," said Mikasa, and Eren, still somewhat dumbfounded by his own thoughts, merely stared at her blankly.

"Huh?' he asked, not fully understanding what her words meant. Armin slightly nudged him on his ribs to return him to reality. "Ow. What do you want with me, Mikasa?"

"You said you wanted to improve your 3DMG simulation time," Mikasa answered, and he was reminded immediately. "We have a trial tomorrow. Since we are free this morning, I thought you want to work on it."

"Uhh…," he hesitated. He did want to improve his time, but considering what's going on in his mind, and what he just dreamed last night about her – he wasn't looking forward to being alone with her.

Since when did it start becoming like this, anyway?

"Right, uhm… OK, I guess. You want to come too, Armin?" asked Eren, sending desperate signals to his best friend, who calmly replied, "No." Eren could almost hear the obvious enjoyment in his voice. This devil, Eren couldn't help but curse inwardly at his best friend. Armin could be downright scary sometimes, acting all innocent with the never-ending smile on his face, while inside he was contemplating something totally evil.

"I think I'll spend my morning here, reading…. I don't have trouble with my 3DMG simulation time, anyway. So, you guys…" Armin opened his book again and leaned himself as comfortably as possible on the tree trunk, before continuing with an extraordinarily calm, casual tone – "Have fun."

If only Eren didn't know him that well, he would have believed that Armin solemnly wished for both of them to have fun in training. But since he could tell all too well what's going on inside his blonde friend's mind, the words 'have fun' to him seemed to hold so much different meanings – none of which he even wanted to think about at the moment.

"Let's go, Eren," Mikasa's voice woke him up from his thoughts. Letting out a defeated sigh, he got up from the grass and dusted his pants, sending one last glare to Armin for his apparent betrayal, before trailing behind Mikasa to the storage room to retrieve his own 3DMG.

Author's notes: Aaand... it ends there. Sorry I'm ze ebil *smirk*.

Like I said before, this is going to be my longest smut piece just yet, soo~ I hope you enjoy what's coming next :)

PS: I'm just a review whore

See you in the next chapter!