The same day...
Faith pov.
I'm a t-t-talkin chimp! What the fuck?! This is bullshit! Oz looks down at me still laughin.
"You think this is funny Fido?!" I ask. He hates it when I call him by typical dog names but hey! He's laughin at me!
"Hell yeah! Dude, I'm so callin dad about this." he says. Yeah he's my big brother. Sorta. Anyway.
"No no you're not." I say. He nods.
"Oh yeah I am." he laughs out. I shoot him a glare and he quiets down. "C'mon, we gotta get to the magic shop to find out what happened to you." he says. Walking towards me.
"W-what are you doin?" I ask. He smirks. "No. n-n-n-no...you...you can't do that to me!" I say.
Twenty five minutes later we're walking into the magic shop and the first person to see us is Giles.
"Oz, I told you before, we cannot get a group pet. Where ever you got her from take her back." he says. Oz pouts.
"But Giles, she's so cute." he says. "Buffy? Don't you think she's cute?" he asks as B comes out from the back.
"Aww! Yes she is. She's so cute in her little pink outfit. That little pink dress and bonnet and diaper! She's so adorable! Can't we keep her Giles?" she asks pullin out that B pout. Yes, oz put me in a pink dress and bonnet and diaper. I'm going to beat him with a solid silver bat when this is all over.
"No we may not Buffy. Now, where is Faith?" Giles asks.
"I'm right here." I mutter.
"Where?" Giles asks looking around and Oz is tryin not to laugh.
"Down here." I say. He looks down and at me in all my chimp gloriness. "Hey G-man. How's it hangin?" I ask casually. Everythin goes quiet before B bursts out laughin.
"Oh my god! Faith?! What the hell?! Why are you a monkey?!" she asks.
"Not a monkey!" I yell. Oz nods.
"That's right. She's the cutest little chimp you will ever see." he says seriously. I shoot him the finger.
"I don't give a damn! She's a pr--primate!" Buffy laughs out. I hate her right now. I causally walk over to her with a book in hand and slap her hard with it. She keeps laughin before stoppin suddenly and hittin the floor.
"Aww! Giles let us get a monkey?! She's so cute!" Red exclaims walking towards me. I pick up a knife and have it hoisted into the air ready for launch when I feel the weight change. I look up and see Oz has replaced my knife with a...banana. That. Little. Fucker.
"I hate you." I say to him glaring. He just pinches my cheek.
"I wuv you too!" he exclaims. Nobody is takin not to the fact that he's showin a great deal of emotion today.
"Did the little chimp just talk?" Xan-man asks. Oz nods back to his expressionless self.
"Totally." he says with a slight nod. This kid trips me the fuck out! It amazes me how he can go from regular, emotion havin guy to blank and expressionless with in a second. Says he picked it up from me as a kid. Dunno what he's talkin about.
"X-ray, could you uh...move Buffy? She's in the way." I ask. Xander's eyes damn near jump out of his head.
"Faith?!" he exclaims. I look at him.
"I aint deaf yunno." I say. He just gapes at me before I hear Red laughin. That's right. Everybody laugh at the chimp. "It's not funny." I say climbing into a seat. Then Anya comes in and this shit makes a whole lotta sense.
"Anya?! Did you turn me into a damn chimp because if you did I'm gonna...i'm gonna...hurt ya!" I exclaim walkin over to her. She looks down and doesn't say anythin.
"Serves you right. Impregnating me with you're little slayer hell spawns. I'll have you know that having twins wasn't in my ten year plan. Even though I have no idea what a ten year plan is. And why do the-" I cut her off.
"Can you change me back?" I ask. She shrugs.
"It'll wear off." she says. I breath a sigh of relief.
"Wicked. How long?" I ask.
"A week. Two weeks tops." she says smiling before goin over to the register. I smile then think about it.
"What?!" I exclaim. Shit. This is gonna be hell. I look up when I hear still unconscious B mumble.
"Monkey Faith." she mutters.
Three weeks later...
Faith pov.
A week. Two tops. Can she fuckin count?! Obviously not cus it has been three weeks and I'm just changin back to normal. Fuckin demon.
"Faith hurry up. We have an appointment to see how the babies are doing." she says. She's been feelin bad lately so we're gonna make sure my kids are ok. Also she's moved in. I'd be liein if I said I wasn't enjoyin this. I like havin her around. She's somethin I need. She says what she's thinkin when she's thinkin it and doesn't tell me shit cus she thinks it'll keep me happy. That's somethin I've always liked in a girl. Maybe that's why it was so hard for me to find a girlfriend before. Not too many girls around here that say what they mean. They always wanna sugar coat shit. But not this crazy cow... I mean Anya.
"Alright alright." I say comin outta our bedroom. Shouldn't I feel weird that I trust her so much? Should it bother me that she's a big part of my everyday life? Yeah it should. Cus there's a chance she don't like...have feelins for me. But if she doesn't that'd be ok. I could like move on and shit. But it'd hurt. Weird feelin when somebody can make ya smile just by breathin. 'course I haven't said none'a this shit to her. Don't wanna freak her. We arrive at the doctor's office with out speakin much.
"Faith?" she calls me. I look to her.
"Huh?" I ask. She takes a deep breath.
"I apologize for having you turned into a chimp." she says. And it don't really bother me much that she did it. Only thing is the side effects
"Don't sweat it demon girl. S'all good, past is the past an' all that." I say with a shrug. She smiles at me.
"Thank you." she says. I nod cus I know what she's talkin bout. I've been lookin out for her big time. Bodyguards and all that good shit. Don't wanna risk nothin happenin to her or the babies. Although I can't really say Spike and his friends are trustworthy sources but hey. They help.
"Ms. Jenkins, ms. Lehane." the nurse calls us back. We make our way back and the doctor does his job.
"Well ladies, it looks like you're babies are fine and healthy." he says. Don't do it Faith. Don't. Do. it. I tell myself.
"Alright thanks doc." I say. I wanna hurry the hell up and get outta here. Anya looks at me then back to the doctor and starts askin him questions. I'm not listenin cus I'm too busy tryina keep myself still. Before I know it I'm over standin behind the doctor's chair pickin around in his hair lookin for bugs. What? Don't look at me like that. I was a chimp for three weeks! After we've left the office with Anya firmly scolding me for makin the Doc uncomfortable I'm driftin in and outta the conversation. Finally we're outside'a B's house, don't know why but Anya's had a thing against her lately, and I'm hoppin up into a tree hangin upside down.
"Hey An! Bring me a banana?" I ask and she nods. Yeah, spendin almost a month as a chimp has it downs.
Aite so maybe not as funny as you'd like but here's an update. Also a quick note, Oz and Faith are related. You'll find out how in a later chapter. Now, review and I'll update another story!