Chapter 4

'Everything alright?' Sara asked as she stepped into the bathroom and found Neal staring at himself in the vanity mirror.

He pulled his eyes away to look at her and smiled. 'Just trying to summon my inner Buddha.'

'That bad, huh?' she said with a soft laugh.

He turned to face her, leaning back on the counter. 'It's like this crazy banshee hidden inside this seemingly normal person. I mean, Diana's pretty direct at the best of times but this…'

'Honey, hormones play havoc with your ability to control your emotions. It's hard to explain' Sara said as she ran her hand down his arm. 'She doesn't mean any of it, I'm sure.'

'I know' Neal said as he turned back to look at himself. 'It doesn't make it any easier when she bites my head off.'

'Daddy, I need to pee' Hope said as she appeared in the doorway, fidgeting.

Neal motioned her in and stepped away, returning to the bedroom to finish getting dressed.

'So, have you decided on the menu for tonight?'

'Diana mentioned she's been craving shrimp so I thought I'd make shrimp risotto' he said as he picked up a tie for his wife's approval.

Sara shook her head, handing him a different one which he took from her as he began to tie a perfect Windsor knot.

'Sounds great' she responded.

'I was wondering if we should invite Peter and Elizabeth… you know, as a buffer.'

'Sure' Sara said. 'I can call El this morning and see if they're free.'

'Oh, they're free!' Neal said as he headed out the door. 'Peter owes me one.'

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Friday was more of the same. Diana being ornery and Neal trying to keep her from finding out that he was repeating, practically verbatim, what was in the report the banks already had in their hands. Neal managed to keep it together and by mid-afternoon, Diana was huffing and puffing as they climbed the stairs up to the second floor office of the bank manager at the Mutual Bank.

'Why don't you sit here and wait for me' Neal suggested as they passed a small sitting area right outside the man's office.

She rolled her eyes at him, then seemed to think better of it. 'Would you mind?' she asked as she rubbed her stomach.

'Have you started having contractions?' Neal asked as he leaned in.

'Yeah, lots' she admitted. 'It just seems to hit when you least expect it.'

'I remember with Hope, we ended up in emergency one night when Sara was about 37 weeks along. We thought 'this is it'… but they sent us home. We were pretty disappointed.'

Diana smiled as she listened; Neal wasn't so bad after all.

'Sara used to lie on her side to take the pressure off. That helped a little' Neal added, his look faraway. It seemed like just yesterday they were waiting for Hope's arrival and now he was dealing with a six-year-old whose teeth were falling out. Where had the time gone?

'Mr. Caffrey?' a woman's voice was heard. 'Mr. Carroll will see you know.'

'Knock 'em dead, Caffrey' Diana said as she frowned in pain.

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'Uncle Peter!' Hope exclaimed as she opened the door to find her godparents standing there.

Her arms instantly went around his legs as Elizabeth beamed. 'Hi sweetie' Peter said as he scooped her up for a hug.

'Oh, my God. Look at you, getting your grown-up teeth!' he exclaimed as Hope gave him a huge toothless grin.

'And look' she said bringing her finger to the loose tooth on the bottom. 'This one's going to fall out any minute!'

'Peter! Elizabeth! Come on in' Neal said as he appeared, carrying Liam in his arms. 'Sara's in the kitchen making some iced tea. Diana and Christie are already here.'

Elizabeth followed Hope into the kitchen while Peter fell back, grabbing Neal's arm and lowering his voice.

'Didn't take you long to call in that favor' he grumbled.

'Don't even go there. I've had two solid days of bitching and complaining while I try to keep my foot out of my mouth. If I can do that, you can certainly sit through dinner' he whispered as they joined the group around the kitchen island.

'Christie, hi!' Peter said as he kissed Diana's girlfriend on the cheek.

'Peter… it's been awhile' she fibbed – considering she had spoken to him twice the previous day.

Diana sat rather uncomfortably, her body overflowing on the stool Sara had pulled up for her.

'Why don't we go sit outside. We'll be more comfortable out there' Neal suggested as he handed a squirming Liam over to his aunt Elizabeth.

'I've got some appetizers all set up out there' he added, putting out his hand to help Diana stand.

Christie gave him the evil eye just a fraction of a second too late to avoid having Diana smack his hand away. 'I don't need help, Caffrey' she grumbled as she grabbed on to the nearby kitchen counter to yank herself up.

Sara exchanged a knowing look with her husband and walked over to take Diana's arm.

'Come on Diana, I've got just what you need' she said authoritatively as Christie looked on, curious. Somehow, Sara's calm, decisive manner was just what the mom-to-be needed and she let herself be led out to the patio where Sara had arranged some pillows on one of the lounge chairs.

'Sit' she said as she propped up the pillows for Diana. 'I'll get you something to drink.'

Peter and Neal exchanged stunned looks with Christie and the three of them watched in disbelief as Diana sighed deeply and melted into the chair, suddenly relaxed – a rare occurrence these days.

'Why don't I get you a beer?' Neal said to Peter, suddenly feeling awkward.

'I'll help you' Peter offered, unnecessarily.

'Me too' added Christie, following suit.

The three of them made their way back to the kitchen, congregating around the island as they exchanged looks of astonishment.

'What just happened out there?' Christie asked.

Peter and Neal looked at each other, mouths agape. 'I don't know but maybe I can ask Sara to come along with us when we visit the National Bank on Monday' Neal said.

'Wow!' Peter nodded, in agreement.

'You know I can't seem to say the right thing to save my life, lately' Christie admitted to the two men. 'She'd even argue if I said the sky was blue.'

'Tell me about it' Neal said. 'No matter what I say or do, she acts like a raving lunatic… oops, sorry Christie!'

'No apology needed. I totally get it, believe me. The more I fuss and ask what I can do to help, the more pissed off she seems to get.'

It seemed to be confession time and Peter piped up with his own little revelation. 'You know, I hate to admit it but the other day, I saw her coming towards my office with that scary look in her eye and I picked up the phone and pretended to be talking to someone so she would go away.'

Neal and Christie looked at each other in commiseration; being in Diana Berrigan's presence these days was a particularly painful experience.

Neal glanced out the patio door, noticing Elizabeth and Sara chatting away with a smiling Diana as she sipped on a glass of iced tea.

'Warning!' he called out with a head nod. 'Alternate universe!'

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'Here, try this pillow under your knees' Sara suggested as she walked over to where Diana sat, fidgeting. 'I used to get this tugging sensation on the bottom of my stomach and this helped' she added as Diana let out a sigh of relief.

'Yes!' she exclaimed. 'It's like there's not enough skin to go around. Ah! This iced tea is amazing.'

Sara smiled as Elizabeth looked on.

'I can't believe how much my life is about to change' Diana confided. 'I'm not ready to let go of… the way things are.'

'I totally get it' Sara said. 'I remember having moments of sheer panic those last few days before Hope was born – wondering what the hell I thought I was doing.'

'I know' Diana said in agreement. 'And all Christie seems to want to talk about is where we should place the crib and if we should consider formula or not. Hell, I've got an alien growing inside me and it's totally taken over my life. And then, there's Peter and Neal acting all protective… I can't stand it anymore.'

Sara glanced over at Hope and Liam, playing in the nearby sandbox; she couldn't imagine her life without the two of them – or Neal, for that matter. She wasn't quite sure when the transformation had occurred; it had been gradual but one day, she'd stopped being terrified about what she was losing and she'd started to enjoy being surrounded by all that love and energy.

'I'd like to be able to tell you that things will go back to the way they were, but I'd be lying' Sara said as Elizabeth looked on. 'It's different but it's… better, more balanced… more complete.'

Diana rubbed her tummy as a contraction hit and Sara moved in to take her hand.

'Thanks' Diana said as she grabbed on and squeezed.

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'Honey, she's scared, that's all. I remember those last few days before Hope was born, sitting at June's place, feeling terrified. Meanwhile, you were off living your life, doing your thing at work and I kept wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into' Sara admitted as she lay in Neal's arms.

'Why didn't you tell me?' he asked, running his hand gently up and down her arm.

'You were on cloud nine. For you, it was all about seeing Hope's little face for the first time and holding her in your arms. For me, it was terror when I thought about the labor, the pain, the fact that my body would never be the same again, that I was going to be someone's mom, that I was giving up the life I loved…' Sara confided.

Neal turned to face her. 'Aww, baby. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be sorry. It's just the way it is, Neal. There's no way a man can experience what it's like to be pregnant and to give birth. I think Diana just needs to be reassured that everything's going to be alright and that life will go on after she has this baby. You know, her identity has been wrapped up in being a badass FBI agent for such a long time – it's pretty scary to think that you might lose that.'

'Yeah, but nobody sees her as anything but the strong woman she is' Neal argued.

'She does, Neal. Being pregnant makes you vulnerable, it's… giving up control of your body to some… invisible force. All of a sudden, you can't see your feet anymore, you have terrible heartburn, your clothes don't fit right and you start to think you'll be stuck like that for the rest of your life.'

Neal listened, trying to understand – at least rationally.

'Diana's been an FBI agent for a long time, she gets gratification and validation from the work she does and now all of a sudden, it's not about that anymore, it's about this protruding stomach of hers that might as well have its own zip code.'

'You're amazing, you know that' Neal said as he leaned down and placed a kiss on his wife's lips.

'I do know, actually' she said as her eyes suddenly narrowed.

'Oh, and did you really think I wouldn't ask Diana what play they were going to tomorrow night?' she asked as she glared at him.

Neal frowned. 'I really want to go to that poker game' he said, turning on the charm.

'Making goo goo eyes at me's not going to cut it, Caffrey' Sara said, in response.

Neal's face dropped. 'Alright, what's it going to take, then?'

She seemed to consider the question for a moment although when she finally spoke, everything came tumbling out in one fell swoop. 'Foot massages every night for the next week. You're on bath duty 'till the middle of next week and you take Hope to her dentist appointment on Tuesday' she said with assurance. 'Oh, and you do the grocery shopping next Saturday – without complaining.'

Neal stared back – she sure did drive a hard bargain.

'Fine' he said, defeated.

'Now, there's one more thing' she cooed as she took his hand in hers and gave him an adoring look.

TBC