"So…it's like…on a boat or something?"

"Yes! Idiot! That's what a cruise ship is!" Itachi snapped.

"Okay…so….when is this wedding?"

"Oh my god do you listen to nothing I say!? I told you three times June 27th!" Itachi was losing patience.

"What do you mean can you….can you wear jeans!? Did you just…." Itachi was on the verge of an explosion and so he handed the phone over to Deidara.

"Yeah, um hi. No, Sasuke you can't wear jeans to Itachi's wedding! Not even if they are the really hot Dolce and Gabbana ones, yeah. Fine, we will find you something to wear, yeah. Alright, so you'll be at the wedding? Remember, none of Orochimaru's dumb ass friends can come….oh and none of your dumb ass friends either, yeah!" Deidara quickly added. "Okay here's Itachi." Deidara handed the phone back.

"Look, the only….ONLY reason you are invited to this wedding is because you are my stupid little brother and I feel obligated to have you there! No, no, NO! I'm going to pick out what you're going to wear. Wha…you….no! Just….just shut up okay!? I'm hanging up now, I'll call you later when the date gets closer!" Itahci said hanging up the phone in a huff. "I swear my life is so suckish sometimes! Lola, Konan put those doughnuts down! You all need those doughnuts like Tobi needs another spin art machine! We have three weeks until the wedding and you two are going to have to squeeze your asses into a gown! As a matter of fact…." Itachi was getting ready to reach for the box of doughnuts.

"Oh don't you even you little sorry ass son of a bitch. I fuckin' swear you touch those doughnuts you are gonna be fuckin' Dana with a dildo tonight because there will be nothin' left in those designer jeans of yours. Now….kindly put down my cream filled éclair." Lola threatened him. Konan just giggled.

"Lola said designah and Éclaih." She said dreamily to Kisame.

"That is going to forever thrill you isn't it?" Kisame asked her. Konan giggled again.

"Yes, it so is."

"I'm sorry to have bothered your doughnuts Lola. I hope….you and Konan enjoy them." Itachi said his voice shaking, He was actually on the verge of tearing up. "Deidara…I need you right now!"

"I swear to god Itachi, you are so fragile! Grow some balls with you? Every time you get confronted you crumble! You go crying to Deidara and your perfect little psyche is a wreck." Lola told him.

"Okay, Lola I don't know what has you in this mood but now you're hitting below the belt." Itachi had to fan himself now.

"Go on honey, go let Deidara dry all your tears and I hope you have a fuckin' lovely time picking out your wedding china." Lola said just as bitterly. Itachi ran off with Deidara in a state of shock as his ego melted into the rug.

"I love it when you school him." Konan said.

"God only knows no one else will." Lola told her. "Crueller?" Lola handed the lovely glazed treat to Konan.

"So, okay you and I should go pick out a gown together. I mean, I know they probably tried to dress you in shit that…well is like them. So let's us go." Konan said.

"I don't think I want to today." Lola told her.

"Okay, so next week sometime." Konan said.

"Yeah, yeah next week." Lola said absently. Meanwhile, downtown at Punky Pepperoni's House of Pizza and Fun Center Yunko and Hidan were babysitting Tobi as he swam around in the ball pit.

"Seriously, who would have thought that a pit of balls would entertain Tobi like this?" Hidan asked her.

"Someone had a good idea that's for sure. I wish I could have been the lucky bitch to market a tub of balls to swim in to kids while their parents feast on pizza." Yunko said. 'And shit they even gave it a playful name…the pepper pit and all the balls are green like peppers.

"Hey, do you want some more pizza? Seriously, I'll go get some if you watch…..oh that damn Kakuzu! He's arguing over those stupid ass game tokens again! I'll be back, make sure Tobi doesn't chew on the balls that's why he got kicked out last time! KAKUZU YOU STUPID SHIT! STOP ARGUING OVER TOKENS DAMN IT!" Yunko laughed to herself.

"Well, it WAS a kids place….now those parents look pretty pissed at Hidan."

"OOOOOOH HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAY! WOOOO! IT'S PUNKY'S PIZZA KING! WOOOOO" Zetsu was boiling mad as these stupid waitresses and waiters sang him the Punky Pepperoni birthday song and put the ridiculous mushroom crown on his head ….why, why the hell did he EVER promise Tobi he would bring him here if Tobi would just stay out of the wedding plans! It was the stupidest promise ever! Zetsu hated this place more than he hated baseball cards (and he totally hated baseball cards). The lights were annoying, the animal puppets were obnoxious, the prizes were so lame, the games were impossible to win, the pizza….well it was okay. But as far as Zetsu was concerned this place was a money making gold mine that turned kids' minds into mush with all its mind numbing activities.

"IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAAAAAAAY! I'M NOT THE PIZZA KING! THIS MUSHROOM HAT IS STUPID! I HATE THIS PLACE!" Zetsu screamed at the innocent waiters and waitresses.

"NO! I clearly had 3700 token to redeem not 3600 tokens!" Kakuzu yelled.

"It's one fucking token! It doesn't matter, seriously!" Hidan yelled at him.

"I earned that token! I demand to redeem these for the water purification system!" Kakuzu insisted.

"YOU STUPID….What? Why the hell why is there a water purification system as a prize here? No kid wants that, seriously." Hidan said logically.

"I must have it! I demand you to recount my tokens!" Kakuzu screamed.

"JUST GO WIN MORE TOKENS YOU MORON AND STOP ARGUING!" Hidan screamed back nearly choking him.

"NOOOOOO! I WON'T! THAT COSTS MONEY! I WON THESE WITH A GIFT CARD….A GIFT CARD!!!" Kakuzu's arguing was getting louder.

"YOU STUPID FUCK I WILL BUY YOU ANOTHER GIFT CARD, SERIOUSLY!" Hidan had Kakuzu on the ground now trying to literally knock some sense into him. Naturally, Kakuzu's token were flying all over the place.

"HIDAN! YOU DUMB ASS MY TOKENS! MY TOKEEEEEENS! HEY! THAY KID TOOK ONE O F MY TOKENS!" Kakuzu screamed.

"Tobi! Tobi! Tobi! You're not supposed to chew on the balls! No Tobi! That's how you got kicked out last time!" Yunko scolded Tobi.

"Yunko? I like your Mountain Dew t-shirt." Tobi said sweetly. Yunko sighed.

"I know you do Tobi, but that's not going to make it okay for you to lick the balls..." Yunko put her hands over her face. "Oh shit…I'm in a kids place…I'm talking about licking balls….I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE….if…anyone heard the thing about the balls…"

Back at the house, Itachi and Dana had chosen the quote: "Most totally perfect and sexy flowers ever at a wedding, yeah." They also had their menu planned, Dana's gown had been ordered, Marisol's maid of honor gown had also been ordered in the baby blue color and Itachi and Deidara's shirts were hanging neatly in their dust bags on the door.

"Okay, I so know what we need to talk about next!" Marisol said. "The bachelor and bachelorette parties! AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

"Deidara, I want to go shopping, after that I want to have a fancy party on the sailboat in the harbor. I will have a registry where people can get me the stuff I totally want and I don't want any beer there! Just hard liquor did you get all that should I repeat it? There will be no strippers at my party because if it's not Dana I'm not interested. Oh, and no crab cakes you know how I feel about too much cake not enough crab. And absolutely no lame and clichéd games." Itachi said spelling out exactly what he wanted.

"What about you Dana?! What do you want!?" Marisol was so excited.

"Okay…are you ready for this….you know that game Scene it, yeah? Like it comes with a DVD and stuff, yeah?" Dana asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Yes!" Marisol said.

"I want to play that, yeah! But wait that's not all….and….fix strawberry Daiquiris'…and finally….I want to pass on…..our super secret….book of sex, yeah!" Dana said so excitedly. Marisol screamed with her in glee.

"It is definitely time to pass that book on, yeah." Deidara said.

"For real, I mean there's nothing left to add to that thing. Except for maybe sex as a married woman but Dana, go ahead and add that one in advance before you pass on the book." Itachi told her winking. Wow...let's not beat the door down all at once to get to these parties…