Disclaimer: I don't own anything; all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).
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She stops at Kamekona's for some shave ice on her way back from the beach, orders her favorite flavor. She hears a girl's voice excitedly call her name and turns around to see Grace waving happily from a table with Danny and Steve. She smiles brightly at her and heads over.
"Howzit, guys?"
"Hey Kono!" Gracie greets her, almost bouncing on her seat. "Will you sit with us?"
"Yeah, come on, sit." Danny says, gesturing to the empty space next to Steve. She sits, and Gracie starts to tell her all about her weekend with her dad and Uncle Steve. Kono muses that a lot of people must mistake them for a gay couple.
"Uncle Steve?" Gracie says hesitantly after a while. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Steve, to his credit, only looks taken aback for about a second before he answers.
"I do?" It kind of sounds like a question.
Danny is watching his daughter curiously, looking bemused. Kono has a bad feeling she knows where this conversation is heading and it's nowhere she wants to go anytime soon. In fact, if this conversation were a moving vehicle, this is about the time Kono would unbuckle her seatbelt and consider jumping out.
"Is she nice?" Gracie asks seriously, looking as intrigued with the subject as possible for someone her age. Steve smiles in confusion, glancing at Danny uncertainly.
"Oh ho, don't look at me, my friend." Danny exclaims gleefully, apparently enjoying his partner's discomfort.
"Sure, she's nice." Steve says eventually, looking a bit alarmed at the turn of the conversation. He turns to look at Kono, who looks blankly back at him. You're on your own, brah. She's not even breathing if she doesn't have to. In fact, let's just pretend she's not here at all, how's that?
Gracie furrows her brow, looking from Steve to Kono in apparent confusion. Oh no. "Is she as nice as K—"
"O-kay!" Kono interrupts loudly, shooting Gracie a murderous look. Bad Gracie. No cookies for you. "You know what? I should be going. I'll see you guys later." She stands up hurriedly, avoiding eye contact. This is beyond embarrassing.
She waves goodbye and leaves quickly, before a nine year old can try to set her up with her boss. Again.
God. Can her life be more pathetic?
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The dress, it turns out, is perfectly appropriate. The sales lady had promised as much when Kono bought it, but you never know with these things until it's too late. But no, the dress is fine. There are women in dresses a lot more daring and attention-catching than her own. Which is not to say she doesn't look great, because she so does, even though parts of the dress had to be taped in place to avoid any accidents.
It's her first black tie event, the 5-0 taskforce having been personally invited by the Governor, so Kono has been a little anxious about the whole thing. But this is fine. Not terribly exciting, truth be told, but there's free champagne and she gets to people-watch. In fact, there's a pretty blonde woman in a really tight dress trying to make a good impression on the Governor and failing spectacularly, all within easy viewing distance.
Now, if she can locate the waiter with the hors-d'oeuvres, she'll be a happy camper.
The blonde woman decides to give it up us a lost cause and zeroes in on her next target. Kono can see her face change from the demure and respectful expression she wore when talking to Hawaii's highest ranking elected official to something self-assured and almost predatory. She picks up a glass of champagne from a nearby waiter and starts walking towards…Kono.
Okay. Awkward.
Kono looks around, hoping she's not about to be hit on by a woman in front of the Governor, and thank you God, Steve is sitting a little to the left behind her, in a tux, making him an obvious (heterosexual) target. Phew.
Kono turns a little in her seat to guarantee herself a clear view and settles in. What? Anthropologists do this all the time! It's how you learn about foreign cultures. It's called observing their mating rituals. Cool, right? And the blonde girl is so foreign to Kono she might as well be from a different species.
The girl has just sat down next to Steve when Kono is distracted by the rare spotting of a tray of shrimp hors-d'oeuvres—delicious shrimp hors-d'oeuvres that deserve her undivided attention for a few minutes. Maybe she should have taken Chin's advice and had dinner beforehand. But then again, Chin didn't have to try to fit in a dress, did he?
When she turns her attention back to Steve and Officer Barbie, all she sees is the back of a blonde head. The woman had twisted herself around, elbow on the table supporting her head, a cascade of blonde curls blocking Kono's view of the proceedings. Kono watches for a while, amused, as the blonde attempts to talk and keep her balance at the same time. She gives the girl credit; Steve must hardly notice anything off, but Kono can see her high heeled shoes scramble for leverage.
She wonders why Steve didn't bring Catherine. She'd certainly deflect tipsy strangers' attempts at making a pass at him, save everyone the embarrassment.
Kono tries not to smile as the girl leans forward precariously, only managing to catch herself with a hand on the back of her chair. She has to straighten up to avoid landing in the soup bowl, and Kono feels a sharp twinge of pity for the blonde stranger when she sees Steve's expression.
She understands the girl's efforts now, because twisting herself in that position is the only way to effectively block Steve's view of Kono.
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"Let me rephrase: is there something about Commander McGarrett that makes you uncomfortable?" Dr. Hale says carefully, and Kono knows she's been played.
She could have answered before now, could have managed to deflect somehow, or speak about Steve in general, but Dr. Hale hadn't wanted that. Dr. Hale had wanted her to get defensive, so she could use that exact phrasing. Kono has to lie, or explain.
She figures lying would imply there was something off, so she tries to explain in a way that doesn't end with a harassment suit.
"Yeah, I guess." She says casually. She remembers the rumors going around about Steve's innovative methods of motivating suspects to cooperate.
"He can get pretty intense."
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The secret of writing a good incident report, Kono has discovered, is short sentences. Sure, they make her sound stupid, but they also help with clarity. Use long sentences and a good defense attorney can make it seem like your report is full of contradictions.
She's wrapping up and thinking about calling Chin to give her a ride home when Steve walks over to her desk.
"You almost done here?"
"Yeah, I'll be heading out soon." She says closing the file and starts getting her things together.
"You need a ride?" He asks casually, like he's asked every time she leaves late and he's still at the office.
"No thanks." She says clearly, searching her bag for her phone.
"Your car still in the shop?"
Right. She ran into a cab in pursuit of a suspect on their last case. Which he knows about. Of course.
"Chin's picking me up."
"I'll drop you off, it's fine."
She could insist, but that would imply she doesn't want him to give her a ride, which would in turn imply she has some reason to be avoiding him, which would only lead to awkwardness. There's just no graceful way to get out of this.
"Sure, Boss. Thanks." She smiles hesitantly.
"No problem."
Kono comforts herself with the thought that there must be a parallel universe in which this is not as categorically bad an idea as it sounds.
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