Nov. So sorry this has taken so long its finals time here and so the teachers have been pilling I ton extra special just to make us even more miserable. But anyway I got a break coming up and I hope to have this chapter plus another one done by the time I get back from break.

Dec. Man I took so long I had to reread what I had typed. Oi OH well onward tally ho. Oh and I hate inner ear imbalances (love), they make my life suck. So I confuse myself by writing love stories. Will some one please tell my why I write about this stuff if I hate it so much, mer. On a good note I got Tickets to see Return of the King tomorrow, Kick ass! YAY! I'm gonna cry like a little baby. I know I will any who enough rambling.

Jan. Hullo, sooooo dearfully sorry. I have been running around with finals and stuff and then I started writing this chaper on my PC and went home for break before transferring it onto the laptop so iu ahd to try and remember what I wrote so I could work on it. And I'm going away for a week in a few days so whose to say when I will finish this oh well.

I don't own Bebop, but I do own Landis and I own a slave named Evan but that is unrelated.

Feb. OK OK so I'm slow kill me ok, but then you'll never get the ending. HAHA!

Too many problems but at least I finally got it done.

Chapter 4: Settling in

Faye felt her blood begin to flow again. She had been in stasis ever since she woke up her only thoughts being to get back to her son. She pulled him back from her, he looked like he was ok: eating well, getting sleep. Maybe Spike hadn't done such a bad job afterwards. Spike! She had forgotten he was here. She looked up and saw the blurred image of Spike standing at the edge of the pool. He kept his distance unsure of his place or purpose in this reunion.

She glanced into his eyes as he watched them, Run to him, her mind told her he's here now, he can take care of you. He took a step forward apparently seeing that he wouldn't be intruding. She felt a smile spreading across her face. You'll be a family. He'll stay- her mind cut off. Wait, this is Spike when did he ever stay, for long anyway. When was he really there when it mattered, when she had reached out for him, when she needed him. When it came down to all his big talk he was just a hypocrite. She had to think of Landis, this wasn't about her and her petty wants and needs. Her son, that's whose important. When the going got tuff would Spike take off again; when he got tiered of playing dad would he just drop Landis like he had dropped her?

Her smile dropped. Spike stopped. Jet closed his eyes. From where he stood in the doorway he watched as everything he had seen grow between them seem to die once again. Let it go Faye.

Standing with the help of her cane Faye righted herself and held Landis' hand as he stood pressed against her legs. Once again becoming the protective mother wild cat, keeping herself and her young safe and solitary.

Spike blinked but not before the sadness leaked from behind the curtain of his eyes. Not again Faye, please don't do this. "Faye." He said softly.

Standing a little taller she took in a strong breath, "Thank you for watching Landis while I was away Spike." The sentence weighted a ton on his shoulders. Jet let out a sigh.

With all the strength she could find she turned her back to Spike and lead Landis into the house. All the while the boy looked back at Spike as though he knew how much his mother had hurt the man.

They came to where Jet stood, the man just looked sad at Faye. She tried to glare back but her foot faltered. Jet reached out and grabbed her arm she continued to glare but he just walked her to the couch mumbling Ôstubborn woman.

She gently set herself down and continued to stare off angrily. Jet shook his head and looked at the wet and dripping Landis.

"Hey why don't you go on upstairs and get cleaned up for your mom." Landis nodded knowing now was not the time to argue. That's one thing he certainly didn't get from his parents, Jet thought and then turned his gaze back to Faye and continued watching her reaction. "And take Spike with you." Jet didn't see it but Landis smiled and Spike looked up from where he had been staring at the floor in the doorway. The boy ran to Spike and took his hand eagerly pulling him into the house and up the stairs. Jet continued to stare at Faye who rolled her eyes and lay back on the couch looking away from him.

Jet sighed.

"Spare me the lecture Jet." She said sounding more like her old self.

"No, I can't believe you did that.

She sighed and looked at him knowing this would be a while and required her full attention. "Come on Jet.

"He saved your life, the life of your son.

"I know that and I'm grateful.

"Not enough. I saw him cry over you, in all my years of knowing him I have never seen that man cry.

Faye thought of those last few moments when he had held her and cried unselfishly. A small ache was filling her chest again.

"He loves you." It grew. "And you haven't seen it yet but when he thinks no ones looking he looks at Landis the same way you did, that same sad love. That contented sorrow." Tears threatened to spill over again. "I know you want to Faye so give him a chance. What are you so afraid of?

She shook her head sending silver droplets flying. "I'm not afraid.

"You are scared shitless. What pessimistic irrational thing did u concoct out there on the patio?

"It's not irrational. He's going to leave. He did it before, he'll do it again. Spike only ever did whatever he wanted to do with out a care about the consequences on others and I don't want to put Landis through that." She paused and whispered. "I don't think I can handle it again." She looked in Jets eyes. "I won't get left behind again. I don't need him anyway I don't need anyone Landis and I were just fine until he showed up and screwed it up.

"Well, I'm sorry if all I can ever do is screw you over Faye." A deep bone settling voice said from the hall. "I'll just keep my distance next time." Spike stood in the doorway leaning against the wall, anger and pain resonated from him. He locked eyes with Faye both had their walls up trying to hid their pain from the very person who could heal it. "I'll just grab my stuff and be out of your hair forever." He turned away.

Let him go. Her mind told her but her mouth didn't seem to want to listen. "Thank you." He froze. "Thank you for saving me, for coming to get me again." He turned back to her looking into her eyes for some hint of that love that had seen there once. But despite her mouth's slip up she kept herself heavily guarded. The hope drained from his body and he turned again to leave.

"Oh no you don't," Jet told him. "You don't get to leave just yet. Your job here isn't done. You still have to take care of Landis and now you have another kid here to take care of." Faye glared at him. "Deal with it Faye you are in no condition to take care of things around here. Face it you need Spike here to help you out and besides he's staying whether you like it or not. I care to much about that kid and you to leave you without some support." He stood up. "So I'm gonna help you upstairs and then leave and I don't want to hear anything." Jet lifted a slightly bewildered Faye and lead her across the room and passed an equally confused Spike. And for once as realization seeped in neither of them said anything either too tiered to argue or too relieved that everything had worked out so well.

* * *

Landis looked out the window. Some of his toys were scattered across the floor. They just didn't hold his interest like they used to. Since he had come home he hadn't gotten to go out and play; he hadn't really wanted to. He was to busy being grown up. Spike needed more help around the house then he did. So it was up to him to make sure that Spike didn't ruin everything before his mom got home.

Landis found himself thinking about his dad again. It was the same thought that always passed through his mind whenever he saw his mom having a hard time. ÔHow much different would it have been if his father hadn't died before he was born?' Would his mother stop crying nights when she thought he was asleep? Would he have someone to teach him baseball and tell stories about to his friends? Someone to trade off with mom on tucking him in so that his mom could get a chance to rest? If he was here now, what would he be like? Do I look just like him? Do we like the same things? Would he be proud of me?

And Spike was only helping to confuse him. Spike had to be someone, he looked so much like him. The thought that he might be his father returning to them had even crossed his mind. But then he remembered that his father was dead. People don't just comeback eight years after they were murdered in the crossfire of a mafia hit. Then again there was everything that happened afterwards; that creepy man with the white hair he owned a Mafia and he had known Spike. MaybeÉ No if he had been dad wouldn't mom have been happier to see him. She would have welcomed him back. Landis found himself to be standing in the metaphorical dark along with the dark of the room.

A soft click from the door as the handle released. Landis jumped into bed feigning sleep. Heavy but soft footsteps crossed the room. The unconscious fear of someone coming into his room rose again but quickly subsided. Landis had already begun to recognize Spike's lumbering yet fluid steps.

Spike watched as the kid's body tensed and relaxed under the light summer sheet. It made his heart hurt. He had already helped the kid through the worst of the nightmares but it would probably be a few years before he would ever get a true, good nights sleep.

"I know you're not sleeping.

Landis opened one eye slightly. "I really was trying.

"Really?" Spike pulled up on the covers by the boy tucking them under his arms.

"Yeah I just

"Just what?" Spike asked finishing securing the boy and crouching next to the bed.

"I don't..." Landis looked away for a moment and chewed on him bottom lip. Turning back to Spike he asked, "Did you know my dad?

Spike didn't move, his body freezing up as his mind tried to process the information being given him.

"I

* * *

Faye stood in front of the mirror refusing to look herself in the eyes. Closing them she took in a deep breath, filling her lungs as far as the pain would let her. She held it shrugging her shoulders and allowing the satin robe to slide from her and pool gracefully on the floor. She didn't feel the garment leave her skin as much as she felt the shame of nakedness envelop her. She had been feeling that every once in a while in the past few days, ever since she had woken up. Sometimes it came over her when she knew she was still clothed, a sudden panic and she would check to make sure nothing was showing. No hint of epidermis save what was safe, but even then was that safe? Would anything be safe ever again?

Slowly she released the air she had been keeping in as she slid her eyes open. She felt what was left of the wheezing breath freeze in her throat. A sudden chill ran through the room and her want to cover up became overwhelming. She wanted to throw up, she wanted to scream, she wanted to cut the dirty bruised flesh from her body.

They were hardly noticeable after a month to heal. A month of her life that she had missed out, a month spent in a cold sterile hospital bed. With tubes and wires continuing the violation of her body. The bruises were nearly gone a sickly yellow green color hardly noticeable in the dim light of the room. She could turn on the overhead to get a better look but then she knew she would throw up. She couldn't look at them that clearly yet, she just couldn't. The swelling on her face was practically gone, only a small cut above her left eye remained scabbed over. Her head was still tender the mirror had done a number on her skull. How many times had her head been smashed into it? There were so many stitches; Jet had told her that they had done reconstructive surgery on it, the doctors had been afraid that a piece of her scull might have punctured her brain. No she had been lucky. Lucky. Ha, not a word she would think to ever use for everything.

Her hand ran over what was left of the swelling on her face. The sick feeling began growing again as she felt even her own hand touching her. She hated it, this feeling of repulsion from her own body, she had always felt so comfortable with herself, but now she couldn't even look at her self in full light. She looked at her wrist as she pulled her shaking hand from her face, her left raw and scabbed healing from where the handcuff had cut into her arm. It would heal with minimal scar tissue almost none, the right though, the right would always have that deep set line running from her elbow slicing through her old scar marring the otherwise soft flesh of the inside of her forearm.

Her eyes cautiously followed her hand and it moved from her face and neck to her chest. Something she had always been proud of her porcelain skin and rather large breasts, but now they made her self-conscious and dirty feeling. There, bright and ugly against the soft white was a patch of pink and brown scabbing, scar tissue. Nestled neatly between her breasts the patch of broken skin glared mockingly at her. If the sword have gone and inch to the left it would have pierced her heart. Lucky. This had almost killed her, in fact it had. She could remember dying, the blood and tears in her mouth. The look on Spike's face as he held her, calling out her name, his eyes telling her everything. She had been at peace, well as much peace as she could have hoped to have. But she was back, Why? That was an easy question, Landis. She couldn't just leave him. What kind of parent would that make her? What kind of mother just died when she had a seven year old son waiting for her?

She ran the fingers of her right hand over the rubbery flesh of the still tender wound on her chest. She had been in surgery for 6 hours just because of it. It wasn't every day that the hospital had a case of someone being run-through with a katana. She felt for the corresponding scar on her back; where he had found another foul way of penetrating her body.

She unfocused her eyes allowing the blurred image of her whole body to reflect off of the mirror and into her eyes. Biting her lip and holding her breath she allowed her eyes to focus looking for the first time at the part of her self she had taken such pains to avoid. The sight that greeted her was like some horrid dream, it was as if time had forgotten it. While the rest of her bruises faded and the swelling had gone down and was nearly gone, these marks were brightly colored. Her inner thighs seemed a mass of deep purple and vibrant red splotches. With green and yellow edging the skin didn't even look real. The puncture wound on her right thigh was barely noticeable among the rest of the colors. She couldn't see it but she knew that she was just as bruised inside.

It was almost funny, when she had woken up the doctors had told her that no permanent damage had been done. No permanent damage. She wondered what that was supposed to mean. No permanent damage, what was this feeling than. This contempt and utter disgust that she had for herself, this complete hatred and self-loathing that coursed through her veins where blood used to be. If only, there were so many if onlys so many she lost count. If only she'd never meet Spike, If only she hadn't had a son, if only she hadn't had lunch that day, If only she hadn't told him to leave, if only she had told him all those years ago. No permanent damage.

They had told her there was no permanent damage; they told her that she would still be able to have children. At first the idea disgusted her. The thought of having someone touch her in any way, made her head start to spin and the bile rise in her throat. How could she bring another child into a world like this? But now it's an almost comforting feeling. To know that despite all his efforts he hadn't caused any permanent damage. Her wounds would heal, she would live on whole, bruised but not broken.

She sunk to the floor her eyes stinging she pulled the robe back on as best she could and stood adjusting it to be sure she was covered. With one final deep breath she met her own refection in the mirror, but it wasn't her eyes she saw as she spoke. They were gray and piercing in a way that made her flesh crawl.

"I won, you bastard, I won." Her voice was barely that of a horse whisper and she wished she had the backing behind those words to make them sound sincere.

Well sorry that's all you get but I do promise to start working on the next chapter right away. This whole constantly being sick and almost done with high school so they give us extra work thing is really getting on my nerves.

Prying curiosity beat the Hobbit to a blood pulp.